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oldanteeks
60 years old
Female
new york
Born Oct-5-1963
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Joined: 22-October 08
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Last Seen: 12th December 2008 - 11:01 PM
Local Time: Mar 28 2024, 11:16 AM
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oldanteeks

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12 Nov 2008
Hi

I just want to say that I believe there is some kind of communication when you dream . I once had a dream that proved that to me. I have never had a dream like the one I will tell about. In my dream I was on the side of the road by my car facing oncoming traffic. There was something under my car so I had to move the car forward. I got in and started moving forward using the shoulder of the road. I saw a car coming at me in the incoming lane and suddenly I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it would veer off the road , collide head first and I would die instantly. I was not scared at all but my only worry was that I had not had a chance to say goodbye and I love you to my partner and he wouldn't know it. So with every fiber of my being I thought and sent out those wishes to him. The car collided and at that second I woke up ..my heart pounding and my body in a sweat. As I was coming to I heard footsteps coming up the stairs , come to the side of the bed and my partner sat at my side. I just opened my eyes, my heart still pounding, and he said I just had this feeling that I had to come up to you and see you. Well that just blew my mind. He had never done that before in 18 years and has never done that since. So I have to believe that when we are asleep we are able to communicate in a different way. I could call him like that for years while I am awake and I am sure he would never come. It must have something to do with being in a sleep state. I am a pretty cynical person some times but that episode opened my mind to possibilites. It stands to reason that if you can communicate like that with a living person that if you believe in some kind of spiritual existance after death that you can communicate with them also ; probably a lot easier, I might not believe that story from someone else but I know what happened to me. There seems to be something going on in a dream state. I hope this story helps anyone out there wondering about important dreams. I know a lot of dreams are just my brain going through my worries and sorting them out but there seems to be dreams that go beyond that and I can't deny what happened to me. Hope this helps...it makes you wonder. I hope all my furbabies come to me tonight! I would love that. Hey Jan I have had dreams also where my kitties look differently but I know that it is them. Maybe its how they look in a new life or a past life . My Mom has had the same dreams about her cats. Barbara
22 Oct 2008
I can't seem to stop crying. And the what ifs keep surfacing. My little teenager cat Gracie was the sparkle in the house. My little girl among her 5 older brother cats. We live on a dead end road in a rural community, I actually bought the house because I thought the cats would love it and be safe from harm.I have lived here for 10 years without a problem. Her brother Junior cried that morning insistently to go outside. they are always in for the night, which he hardly ever does. So I went downstairs to let him out about 7am and little Gracie followed me down. Those two always went out together. I held the door open and looked at Gracie to see if she wanted to go not realizing that her whole life depended on my action. About 9 I went to the backdoor and let Jr in and Gracie was not there. I didn't think to much of it because she loves to be outside and sometimes takes a while to come in to eat. But as the day wore on I knew she wAttached Imageas never coming back. She had a routine and was a confident outside kittie who never strayed. If she could have come back she would have. I believe a fox got her because she was so small for her age about 9 months. This is the first year the hay field next to ours was put into corn and it was just cut and the foxes must use our treeline to get to the other field to hunt. If only I hadn't let her out , if only Jr hadn't cried, if only it was raining and cold like now instead of sunny on that day I would never have let her out, If only the field was in hay the foxes would never have come so close to the house, if ;only the canadian geese weren't out there to maybe lure the foxes close to the house. She must have been playing and made a rustle in the weeds and the fox went to see and grabbed her. I feel so guilty ...what was I thinking to let my little girl out. The foxes had never bothered my big cats but she was so much smaller. I put flyers in every mailbox for miles but I know she is never coming back. It will always haunt me, The sweetest thing in the world gone because of my stupidity. I always tried to let her out and supervise her but I thought she would be safe.I can't even pretend to believe she is in "heaven". What kind of God would make a system where everything is killing everything else to eat. My little sweatheart ,,who loved everything, me ,my husband, the other cats( some of whom did not love but tolerated her), the bed, the garden. she was the sparkle of the house.If she had lived a few more days she probably would never have been let out again because of the cold and would have gotten a lot bigger and safer. I just can't accept that. It's not fair. I keep reliving opening the door and seeing her go out.If she had been two seconds later coming down the stairs she would have been inside. I should have known better. One second one way or another and she would be alive. It will haunt me forever. I have this overwhelming urge to do something that will bring her back and I can't.It seems so final and horrible.I lost six very old cats over the past 18 months from " old age" and cancer and of course am still getting over it and Gracie was part of my new happiness. But I didn't feel this horrible what if , this horrible guilt, the sorrow over a young life over because of me when they died. She was nothing but a ball of happiness now snuffed our for ever because I was stupid and never considered the foxes. Will the sorrow ever go away?
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