I JUST DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. I JUST FOUND THIS SIGHT AND I AM HOPING IT WILL HELP ME WITH WHAT I FEEL TO BE A GREAT LOSS. ON APRIL 28, 2008 I MADE THE HARDEST DECISION OF MY LIFE, TO PUT DOWN MY FAITHFULL COMPANION OF 14 YRS. MY BELOVED SASHA.
SHE HAS BEEN WITH ME SINCE SHE WAS 8 WEEKS OLD. AND SPENT EACH AND EVERY NIGHT SNUGGLED UP SLEEPING BY MY SIDE.I KEEP TELLING MYSELF IT WAS FOR THE BEST AS SHE WAS GETTING OLD AND FEBEL. BUT I HAVE SO MUCH GUILT QUESTIONING IF I DID THE RIGHT THING.
I JUST CAN'T GET A GRIP AND THINK OF HER 24/7 WITH TEARS IN MY EYES. I FIND IT SO HARD TO GET ANY SLEEP AT NIGHT WITHOUT HER BY MY SIDE. I HOPE MY BABY IS SAVE AND CAN REST IN PEACE

Making that decision IS the hardest thing we ever do and because being pet lovers, we usually find ourselves getting another in the future, that decision will always be there. It is the price we pay for the many wonderful years we spend with our special ones.

Your is very recent and so this is the time of the most intense sadness and pain and all you can do is try and do things that help you. Some people write a note here to their baby and tell them how much they miss them. Some put pictures around their home so they feel the special one is there in a way. 14 years is a very long time and shows you took good care of her for her to have been with you that long. But we all know that no matter how long we have them, it is never long enough.

I asked a vet one time...how do I know when to make that decision and his answer was..when I felt there was no quality of life..I always used that as a guide and also still asked vets their opinion because I didn't want to make that decision alone.

I found when I had more than one in my home...it helped when one had to leave. When my last one left and the home was empty....when I accepted my special one was really gone and it wasn't just a bad dream....I went to a local shelter and rescued one who has no home and no one to love. By opening my home and heart to my new shelter boy...it helps fill the hole in my heart and he is happy running around my home instead of being in the shelter with so many others.

We never stop missing them or grieving for them but eventually we do accept they are physically gone..but still forever remain in our hearts..and in time the sadness is not so overwhelming. It just never goes away completely. I think a lot of what we do miss is that unconditional love they give us. They are always by our side, watching us and there is love in those eyes.

Someday you will open your heart and home to another and you will find yourself telling the new one all about Sasha. A new one never replaces what we lost because what we lost is irreplaceable but sometimes we need the distraction to help us defeat the sadness that can be so overwhelming at times, especially when the loss is so recent.

Use your topic here as an outlet and post your feelings and your thoughts..sometimes just putting them in writing helps. You can tell stories about Sasha. It is difficult when you are reminded each night of your loss and that's why at first whatever you feel like doing as an outlet can be the right thing to do. We cry, we ramble, we rant...just trying to get the hurt feelings out of us. But once that final decision was made, it is final and from that point on.....we wait for time to help us heal. And some of us need the distraction of a new baby to hold and help the emptiness we feel inside when we lose one so special.

Take Care and know you are not alone in grieving. That's one of the things in this forum that people share...the pain...and also the understanding.

You made a decision for Sasha out of the love you have for her in your heart. Because you took on her pain and made it yours, you showed the most ultimate kind of love where there is with no selfishness. The grief and sadness that follows the passing of one loved so much is very difficult, to say the least. We all have guilt when we lose a loved one. Constantly we ask "maybe I shoulda...coulda..woulda. We look to ourselves to see if we missed something or did something wrong. You did the right thing for Sasha. She will forever remain in your heart because your heart in bound with hers. That never changes. But in time, you will become able to smile and remember all the memories the two of you made together over her lifetime. You were so blessed in having known such a special little doggie named Sasha.

I too miss my Goliath very much. He was my teddybear every night of his life as we slept so close together. For the longest time after he passed away, I had to hold a small pillow and hold his quilt so I could fall asleep at all. It is at bedtime that I still miss him the most. He was, and still is, the light of my life and the curve in my smile. Goliath is alive and well in my heart til the end of the eternity. I will love him til the day after forever.

I was lost when I came to this site in January of this year. The devastation and grief I was feeling seemed as though I had also died, except I was sure I must have gone straight to hell. With time, I began to recover and heal. The people in this forum are very loving and understanding. It is here that we come to help each other through the most difficult of times and also share the good and happy times. Together we can share our hopes and our dreams and find a way back to a happy and fulfilling life.

Keep coming back. You will find understanding, inspiration, and the courage to go on.

Much love and comfort is sent to you from my heart.

thank you both for ur kind words. i hope in time i will be able to smile and remember all the good times and love we shared. until then i will try to find the strength to move on as i know sasha hated to see me upset and crying. but right now i just find the pain so hard to bare. i know its going to take time and i am so glad i found this sight.
thank you all

I am so gald you found this site too Sue. The pain is very hard to endure, I know. At first after Goliath passed away, I couldn't even imagine living without him. Give yourself time and the strength to accept what has happened. One day you will catch yourself smiling when you remember a happy moment the two of you shared. It will come when you least expect it to.

Hugs to you Sue. Keep coming back where we can all continue to help each other heal our wounds.

thank you goliath. you seem to give everyone such good support.
i just wanted to let you all know it was like i got a sign from sasha today.
it was pouring rain and i was feeling bad and felt such guilt as if i had done the right thing,
when all of a sudden the sun pooped out and there was the most beatiful and brightest
rainbow i'd ever seen. it was like she was letting me know she was at rainbows bridge.
here's a pic i just had to run out and take.

Surely it was a sign from Sasha. You and she shared all your feelings while she was here on earth. The special love connection the two of have together is never broken, not even in death. There is no doubt in my mind that this beautiful bright rainbow was sent to you by special delivery to let you know she is well. Sasha knows she will forever remain in your heart.

Keep coming back and sharing Sue.

i will keep coming back goliath,
i'm glad you think it was a sign to.
your compassion means so much.
i've read alot of things you've posted on here
and you always speak from your heart.
may i ask where in mi. you are at.

Hi Sue,

I speak from my heart because that is where Goliath lives. The sunshine he brings makes me happy and bright. When I pass my heart around to others his legacy continues and others share his love as well. Then they in turn pass the sunshine to another and another and another. This is what nurtures my very being.

I don't mind telling you at all that I live in White Lake, MI. We live on a private lake and are surrounded by all kinds of wildlife. Often I watch the sun come up and just take in the beauty all around me and think of Goliath and just how much I love him. Life is good and I am at peace.

It took me some time to feel this way Sue. But the more I came here, the better I began to feel. Soon after I came in January of this year, I came to realize that Goliath left me far more than grief when the angels took him to Heaven. I have a treasure chest full of the wonderful memories he and I built over the years together.

Hang on to your happy memories of Sasha, for those treasures are yours to last you for the rest of your life.

thank you,
and i surely will treasure our memories.
white lake huh? i don't think thats to far from us
were in st. clair county

That is a beautiful rainbow picture. You captured it so perfectly. It does sound like an answer to what you were feeling at the time. It's as if Sasha was saying....don't be sad..where I am is beautiful and I wanted to share this beauty with you so here is a rainbow so that every time you see one...you will think of me.

I would frame that special picture and put it right next to your favorite one of Sasha.

thank you for your kind words love them.
i was thinking the same thing.
and yes i am going to some how put the pic. in a rememberance of some kind with her.
i took a few of them here is another

When my husband and I left the funeral home with Sadie's ashes...we saw a double rainbow. The same people had also cremated my magnificent Mack...just a little over a year earlier.

Hugs to all
Dayna

did you also feel that this was somehow a sign?

I believe with all my heart it was. Rainbows are not that common here, and double ones are very rare. I believe Sadie, especially, would have wanted her Daddy to know that they were ok, and together.

Dayna

my sweet baby,
it has been a week today since we parted and i miss you so much, everywhere i look i see you.
I LOVE YOU AND WILL NEVER FORGET YOU.
THERE IS SUCH A VOID IN MY HEART

Awwwwwwwwww Sue. I remember that void so well. For the longest time, when awakening in the morning after Goliath passed away, I kept hoping all of it was just a horrible nightmare. My tears were endless and I got so depressed I quit eating. I can truly feel the pain you are in for it touches my pain as well that lies deep down inside of me.

Trust me when I tell you somewhere at sometime you will start to feel more joy. Those feelings of grief are just covering up your happiness and joy right now. Soon the fond memories you have of your sweet little Sasha will begin to surface. You will feel her warmth and love in your heart and find comfort.

Hugs to you Sue.

thanks for your kind words goliath,
the pain is so bad at time like i was just stabbed with a knife.
i really hope i can begin to heal, it's so hard to even smile right now
i have lost my best friend.
thank you so much for being there and showing such compassion and support

I am always here for you Sue whenever you need a shoulder to lean on.

Hugs to you,
Beth

The first long hard week without your baby...Terrible,I know but peace comes in small doses, from unexpected places. I'm in your corner w/Beth and others. Hang in there.

Thoughts and prayers,
Dayna