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> Bicky's Second Year Anniversary
marklovesbicky
post Jan 1 2013, 01:26 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
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Joined: 25-January 11
From: Tokyo
Member No.: 6,978



It has been two years now since the passing of my dear Bicky. It's amazing how fast time passes . When I lost him, I couldn't imagine being able to get through a single day without him by my side...but here I am.
Actually, I find myself in the same place I did a year ago (on his 1st year anniversary) ..managing through life, but still grieving. Most of my friends and family members show little understanding as I navigate this grief process for "just a dog". It is therefore not an understatement to say that this board has been a Godsend. I really don't know how I would have been able to get through all this without the love and support of the. people on this board. Thank you so much.
Below is a piece I wrote in honor of Bicky's first year anniversary. I thought it fitting to repost it in honor of Bicky's second anniversary. Again, thank you all for your support.

January 2nd , 2012 will mark the 2nd year anniversary my beautiful baby boy (my pet dog, Bicky) made his way to the Rainbow Bridge. As some of you know, my girlfriend (Naoko) and I found Bicky as a stray on the streets of Tokyo in 2002, and we were blessed with nine wonderful years with him.

Two years on, I am still mourning his loss greatly. Especially around the holidays, I feel the emptiness and the sense of loss is amplified.
I have some weeks that are better than others, but I’ve found that the waves of grief can sneak up and overwhelm me. I am guessing that this pain and sorrow will never completely dissipate with time, and the quiet grief and loneliness I experience at times is just the new normal for me. His death has made me a better person though, helping me understand the value of friendship, love, and how precious (and fleeting) life can indeed be.
I keep his urn in a prominent place in my house, along with a digital photo frame with over 500 rotating pictures of him. This has brought Naoko and I much needed comfort.

For those interested, Bicky died beautifully.
Leading up to his passing, he had been quite ill for 4 or 5 months. The veterinarian determined that he had Cushing’s disease, but was somewhat optimistic that some new (revolutionary) medicine could help his condition.
Bicky slowly deteriorated though. I was in complete denial and convinced myself that he would miraculously rebound and put it all behind us. But it was not to be.

Bicky’s last Christmas was tranquil and joyful. We spent it up in the mountains (at Naoko’s parents’ house) in Northern Japan. Although he had trouble walking, we made a beautiful bed for him right beside the Christmas tree. He was surrounded by everybody he loved and he was even able to eat a little turkey and enjoy the Christmas ambience. He seemed so happy and content.

His condition took a turn for the worst though on New Years’ day, so Naoko and I decided to drive Bicky to a veterinarian hospital in Tokyo. The doctor was a bit taken aback by Bicky’s deteriorating condition. He hydrated him with an IV, and instructed us to bring him back the next day. That night we lay Bicky down in his bed, located in the same living room we spent so many wonderful times together. For the previous 4 months, I had slept on the living room sofa, so I could be with Bicky during the evening in case he needed me. His bed was right beside mine. Bicky looked much better. I remember I crawled up beside him, and whispered, “We have a big day tomorrow Mr. Handsome; we have to wake up at 8am to go to the vet’s”. Bicky licked my nose and then rested his head on his (favorite) soft green pillow. I put a light blanket on him, kissed him one more time, and turned off the light.
I kept a flashlight beside me, so I could sometimes see how he was doing during the evening. I turned the flashlight on once as if to say “hello”, and Bicky wagged his tail as if to say “I’m o.k. Now try to get some sleep Mark”. I did just that.
I slept like a rock that night, and the sun was already up by the time I awoke. I turned over to say “good morning” to my Bicky…but as soon as I laid my eyes on him, I realized that he chose that night to let go.
Thank you again everybody for your (continued) support.
And thank you Bicky for being my best friend (ever).
Mark
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moon_beam
post Jan 1 2013, 02:32 PM
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Hi, Mark, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your loving tribute to your beloved Bicky on your and Bicky's two-year angel-versary (tomorrow, 1/2/2013). A mist is in my eyes as I read your and Bicky's journey, and his transition home to the angels. My heart feels the ache that is in yours as you continue to adjust to the "new normal" of no longer having his precious physical presence with you. There is no "getting over" missing the ones we love - - whoever the life form. The good news is that your beloved Bicky's sweet Living Spirit is forever with you and Naoko. You and Naoko are blessed with being the sole heirs of his eternal love, and I hope this brings comfort to your hearts during the moments when the sadness of missing him overcomes your heart.

I have so enjoyed your journals sharing your beloved Bicky's earthly journey and adventures with you and Naoko. Please know that you and Naoko are frequently in my thoughts and prayers, Mark, and that I always look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Bicky. I hope this new year will be filled with much happiness, good health, and prosperity for you and Naoko, Mark, and a comfort in knowing that your beloved Bicky's sweet Living Spirit is sharing every moment of every day with you as he always has and always will - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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Gizy's Mom
post Jan 1 2013, 05:03 PM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 135
Joined: 21-December 12
From: Florida
Member No.: 7,865



Mark,
Thank you so much for sharing your and your beautiful boy Bicky's story. I am so emotional right now, I can't stop crying.
It is so hard for us, people who build such a strong bond with the fluffy family members, to lose our forever friends.
I don't understand how some people can tell me that my baby was "just a dog"... I can't believe they don't see that he was a part of me, my sweet little boy, my only child, my true friend, companion and just someone I loved and will love forever...
Today is 23 days since my baby boy Gizy went to the Rainbow Bridge... As you can imagine I miss him terribly... To tell you the truth, I don't know how I was able to survive loosing him. The emotional pain is still so strong, my heart is breaking. What helps is a prayer and the thought that he is in heaven with other furry babies.
Every day I talk to my boy, kiss his pictures and sleep with his "blanky", that comforts me for now.
Stay strong Mark.

Gizy's mom






--------------------
"Until we meet again and cross the Bridge together..."

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LoveMyMickey
post Jan 1 2013, 06:13 PM
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Dear Mark,

Thank you so much for sharing Bicky's two year angel-versary with us, and also the beautiful Rainbow Bridge picture. I have tears in my eyes, because I know how you feel. I know how the waves of grief can sneak up and overwhelm even after two years have passed.

I hope the New Year will bring happiness, good health, and all good things to you and Naoko. Again, thank you for your story....God Bless.

LoveMyMickey


--------------------
"Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
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marklovesbicky
post Jan 3 2013, 02:40 AM
Post #5





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 127
Joined: 25-January 11
From: Tokyo
Member No.: 6,978



QUOTE (Gizy's Mom @ Jan 2 2013, 07:03 AM) *
Mark,
Thank you so much for sharing your and your beautiful boy Bicky's story. I am so emotional right now, I can't stop crying.
It is so hard for us, people who build such a strong bond with the fluffy family members, to lose our forever friends.
I don't understand how some people can tell me that my baby was "just a dog"... I can't believe they don't see that he was a part of me, my sweet little boy, my only child, my true friend, companion and just someone I loved and will love forever...
Today is 23 days since my baby boy Gizy went to the Rainbow Bridge... As you can imagine I miss him terribly... To tell you the truth, I don't know how I was able to survive loosing him. The emotional pain is still so strong, my heart is breaking. What helps is a prayer and the thought that he is in heaven with other furry babies.
Every day I talk to my boy, kiss his pictures and sleep with his "blanky", that comforts me for now.
Stay strong Mark.

Gizy's mom


Gizy's Mom
Firstly, let me start by saying how sorry I am for your loss of Gizy. From your post, I can feel the love you feel for him and the loneliness and grief you now have to endure since Gizy left our material world and ascended into heaven.
I was exactly where you were two years ago. Crying hysterically everyday ...I hadn't cried even once in my adult life until then.
Guilt ridden for things I should have done for him or shouldn't have done. At a loss of what to do with my extra time everyday now that I didn't have him to take care of. I still sleep with his blanket every night and take his rubber ducky on all my trips with me as a remembrance of him.
Two years on, I able to look back and smile but I still feel a deep love and loyalty to him. This website has been so very helpful in helping me overcome my grief (or at least manage it better).
I wish you strength as you navigate this road of grief.
Thank you so much, Mark (and Bicky)
BTW, that picture of Gizy in front of that great expanse of water is about the most adorable picture I have ever seen. You honor him with your posts.


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marklovesbicky
post Jan 3 2013, 02:45 AM
Post #6





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 127
Joined: 25-January 11
From: Tokyo
Member No.: 6,978



QUOTE (LoveMyMickey @ Jan 2 2013, 08:13 AM) *
Dear Mark,

Thank you so much for sharing Bicky's two year angel-versary with us, and also the beautiful Rainbow Bridge picture. I have tears in my eyes, because I know how you feel. I know how the waves of grief can sneak up and overwhelm even after two years have passed.

I hope the New Year will bring happiness, good health, and all good things to you and Naoko. Again, thank you for your story....God Bless.

LoveMyMickey


As always LovemyMickey, you are there for me. Yes, I try to think of his 2nd year anniversary as his angel-versary. He was (is)such an angel to me.
And I wish you strength getting through another year without your beloved Mickey. I truly believe we will be reunited with our loved ones when we leave this earthly realm, so look forward to the time when you are with him again.
Thank you so much (again), Mark (and Bicky)
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marklovesbicky
post Jan 3 2013, 03:00 AM
Post #7





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 127
Joined: 25-January 11
From: Tokyo
Member No.: 6,978



QUOTE (moon_beam @ Jan 2 2013, 04:32 AM) *
Hi, Mark, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your loving tribute to your beloved Bicky on your and Bicky's two-year angel-versary (tomorrow, 1/2/2013). A mist is in my eyes as I read your and Bicky's journey, and his transition home to the angels. My heart feels the ache that is in yours as you continue to adjust to the "new normal" of no longer having his precious physical presence with you. There is no "getting over" missing the ones we love - - whoever the life form. The good news is that your beloved Bicky's sweet Living Spirit is forever with you and Naoko. You and Naoko are blessed with being the sole heirs of his eternal love, and I hope this brings comfort to your hearts during the moments when the sadness of missing him overcomes your heart.

I have so enjoyed your journals sharing your beloved Bicky's earthly journey and adventures with you and Naoko. Please know that you and Naoko are frequently in my thoughts and prayers, Mark, and that I always look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Bicky. I hope this new year will be filled with much happiness, good health, and prosperity for you and Naoko, Mark, and a comfort in knowing that your beloved Bicky's sweet Living Spirit is sharing every moment of every day with you as he always has and always will - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Happy New Year MOON BEAM!
Firstly, Naoko and I are doing well. Life is going well (work, health, etc), so no complaints.
And yes, you are so poetic when you wrote that Naoko and I are "sole heirs of his eternal love". I do feel this. I can feel his love everyday, and I try to honor his memory by being a better person. And yes, there is no "getting over" when we lose someone dear. It's just a painful experience to add to the tapestry of our characters, hopefully making us wiser and better human beings.
Thank you so much for your continued support...As I have already written, I can't imagine getting through this without others that not only understand, but take their precious time to soothe the grief and guilt that continues to follow me like some unwelcome guest.
Bicky was my best friend and child all wrapped up one. For those of us who have allowed themselves to love a fur baby fully and completely, they can understand this. For those who haven't, they simply can't.
Thank you so much again Moon Beam. You are doing God's work.
I wish you all the best for 2013!
Yours, Mark (and Bicky)

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Gizy's Mom
post Jan 3 2013, 10:21 AM
Post #8





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 135
Joined: 21-December 12
From: Florida
Member No.: 7,865



Thank you so much Mark for your support and for giving me hope that some day I will smile.
And you are absolutely right, I love my sweet boy so much the words can't describe... He wasn't a dog, he was my child... My only child sad.gif
Keep in touch, I really need a kind word.
PS Thank you for complimenting the picture. Gizy loved going to the beach (Atlantic ocean) and run in the sand, dig holes and when he got tired he would stand in front of the water and look far far away... God knows what he was thinking. Miss him so much sad.gif

Gizy's mom


--------------------
"Until we meet again and cross the Bridge together..."

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marklovesbicky
post Jan 4 2013, 04:19 AM
Post #9





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 127
Joined: 25-January 11
From: Tokyo
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QUOTE (Gizy's Mom @ Jan 4 2013, 12:21 AM) *
Thank you so much Mark for your support and for giving me hope that some day I will smile.
And you are absolutely right, I love my sweet boy so much the words can't describe... He wasn't a dog, he was my child... My only child sad.gif
Keep in touch, I really need a kind word.
PS Thank you for complimenting the picture. Gizy loved going to the beach (Atlantic ocean) and run in the sand, dig holes and when he got tired he would stand in front of the water and look far far away... God knows what he was thinking. Miss him so much sad.gif

Gizy's mom

Gizy's Mom
Yes, I always wondered what Bicky was thinking too when he would look across the water....What angels they are!
If you ever need a friend who understands what you are going through, I am here.
Thank you so much,
Mark (and Bicky)
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Gizy's Mom
post Jan 4 2013, 10:25 AM
Post #10





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 135
Joined: 21-December 12
From: Florida
Member No.: 7,865



Hi Mark,
I desperately need a friend who understands what I am going through. I found myself to be so easily offended and hurt... Typically I am such a strong person but talking about my boy is such a sensitive subject and my weak spot... tears cover my eyes when I or someone else talks about him.
I avoid any contact with my friends who are not true dog lovers, I don't want to hear "you will be ok"... it makes me angry that they don't see how much it hurts me.
I am glad I found this web site and people who love their babies as much as I love Gizy.

Thank you so much for being here for me.

Gizy's mom


--------------------
"Until we meet again and cross the Bridge together..."

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marklovesbicky
post Jan 4 2013, 12:57 PM
Post #11





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 127
Joined: 25-January 11
From: Tokyo
Member No.: 6,978



QUOTE (Gizy's Mom @ Jan 5 2013, 12:25 AM) *
Hi Mark,
I desperately need a friend who understands what I am going through. I found myself to be so easily offended and hurt... Typically I am such a strong person but talking about my boy is such a sensitive subject and my weak spot... tears cover my eyes when I or someone else talks about him.
I avoid any contact with my friends who are not true dog lovers, I don't want to hear "you will be ok"... it makes me angry that they don't see how much it hurts me.
I am glad I found this web site and people who love their babies as much as I love Gizy.
Aa
Thank you so much for being here for me.

Gizy's mom


We are all here for each other. You will get through this, but it will be hard. Remember, Gizy will always be with you. Time heals..Sometimes slowly, and not always completely...but it heals.
Stay on the board and express your feelings to those who understand....That's what I do...and it helps immensely.
Gizy is waiting for you at the end of your journey. Until then, honor him by remembering the happy times. it's hard at first, but eventually the smiles will outweigh the tears.
I'm here for you.
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Gizy's Mom
post Jan 4 2013, 06:41 PM
Post #12





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 135
Joined: 21-December 12
From: Florida
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Thank you Mark.
I am on this website a few times a day and it does help.
I look forward to the times when I smile while thinking about my baby boy, not cry my eyes out.
I am here for you too if you need someone to talk to.

Gizy's mom


--------------------
"Until we meet again and cross the Bridge together..."

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marklovesbicky
post Jan 5 2013, 01:54 AM
Post #13





Group: Pet Lovers
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Joined: 25-January 11
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Thank you very much Gizy's Mom
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Bentleysmom
post Jan 6 2013, 02:20 AM
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Posts: 2
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QUOTE (Gizy's Mom @ Jan 1 2013, 05:03 PM) *
Mark,
Thank you so much for sharing your and your beautiful boy Bicky's story. I am so emotional right now, I can't stop crying.
It is so hard for us, people who build such a strong bond with the fluffy family members, to lose our forever friends.
I don't understand how some people can tell me that my baby was "just a dog"... I can't believe they don't see that he was a part of me, my sweet little boy, my only child, my true friend, companion and just someone I loved and will love forever...
Today is 23 days since my baby boy Gizy went to the Rainbow Bridge... As you can imagine I miss him terribly... To tell you the truth, I don't know how I was able to survive loosing him. The emotional pain is still so strong, my heart is breaking. What helps is a prayer and the thought that he is in heaven with other furry babies.
Every day I talk to my boy, kiss his pictures and sleep with his "blanky", that comforts me for now.
Stay strong Mark.

Gizy's mom

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Bentleysmom
post Jan 6 2013, 03:23 AM
Post #15





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 2
Joined: 4-January 13
Member No.: 7,874



I am new to this forum and have read your stories. I truly am sorry for your loss, they are not just a dog or cat, they are a member of the family, a furry child. I feel for those that do not experience that type of love in which one receives from their pet. I hope to find comfort to ease the pain of my loss. I feel your pain. December 20, 2012 was the day I made the difficult decision to have my beloved Bentley put down. I called a local vet who amde housecalls, mine didnt offer them. I wanted her to be home in her own bed. The dr was very caring and treated her like she was his own. She had gotten to the point where she would stand by the water bowl and just look at it, not knowing what to do. She loved drinking from the hose so i took her outside and turned it on but its like she forgot what to do. She was a beautiful girl. A fawn boxer white chest and booties. She also had a heart marking on her chest. She was stubborn to no end so when it came to registering her name it came easy. Krolls double hearted mule and she lived up to the name. She was 14 3/4 years old. She lived a very full life and i was blessed to have her so long. We lost our first boxer at 9, neighbor feed her glass, i went 4 days without a dog, then Bentley came into my life. She was and will always be the love of my life. I am broken hearted and numb. I, too, sleep with her blanket. I still cant believe she is gone. I have never felt such sadness, the emptiness is consuming me. I have lost both parents, grandparents and even a sister but nothing like this. I do have another boxer Sophie, she seems to be quieter since Bentleys passing, I give her extra loving and have her come up on the bed with me to help ease her pain. She had been with Bentley since she was 6 weeks old, she is now 9. She didn't eat well the first couple days but seems to be doing better but she won't drink out of the water bowl, she goes outside to eat snow instead. I guess maybe a new bowl may help. I know crying doesn't bring my beloved Bentley back and god knows how I want her back. I have even stood outside looking for her, thinking she will be standing in the distance, giving me one more look, wagging what little tail she had to let me know she is okay and not scared. I have her ashes by my bedside with her collar around the container. I hope she finds my dreams, I miss her so very much. May you be at peace my little lovey!

As soon as I figure out how to download a picture, I will share Bentley with you all. Thank you for sharing your stories and pictures with us, it is wonderful to know I'm not alone and have someplace to come to in time of need.

Bentleys mom,
Melanie

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marklovesbicky
post Jan 6 2013, 10:36 AM
Post #16





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 127
Joined: 25-January 11
From: Tokyo
Member No.: 6,978



QUOTE (Bentleysmom @ Jan 6 2013, 05:23 PM) *
I am new to this forum and have read your stories. I truly am sorry for your loss, they are not just a dog or cat, they are a member of the family, a furry child. I feel for those that do not experience that type of love in which one receives from their pet. I hope to find comfort to ease the pain of my loss. I feel your pain. December 20, 2012 was the day I made the difficult decision to have my beloved Bentley put down. I called a local vet who amde housecalls, mine didnt offer them. I wanted her to be home in her own bed. The dr was very caring and treated her like she was his own. She had gotten to the point where she would stand by the water bowl and just look at it, not knowing what to do. She loved drinking from the hose so i took her outside and turned it on but its like she forgot what to do. She was a beautiful girl. A fawn boxer white chest and booties. She also had a heart marking on her chest. She was stubborn to no end so when it came to registering her name it came easy. Krolls double hearted mule and she lived up to the name. She was 14 3/4 years old. She lived a very full life and i was blessed to have her so long. We lost our first boxer at 9, neighbor feed her glass, i went 4 days without a dog, then Bentley came into my life. She was and will always be the love of my life. I am broken hearted and numb. I, too, sleep with her blanket. I still cant believe she is gone. I have never felt such sadness, the emptiness is consuming me. I have lost both parents, grandparents and even a sister but nothing like this. I do have another boxer Sophie, she seems to be quieter since Bentleys passing, I give her extra loving and have her come up on the bed with me to help ease her pain. She had been with Bentley since she was 6 weeks old, she is now 9. She didn't eat well the first couple days but seems to be doing better but she won't drink out of the water bowl, she goes outside to eat snow instead. I guess maybe a new bowl may help. I know crying doesn't bring my beloved Bentley back and god knows how I want her back. I have even stood outside looking for her, thinking she will be standing in the distance, giving me one more look, wagging what little tail she had to let me know she is okay and not scared. I have her ashes by my bedside with her collar around the container. I hope she finds my dreams, I miss her so very much. May you be at peace my little lovey!

As soon as I figure out how to download a picture, I will share Bentley with you all. Thank you for sharing your stories and pictures with us, it is wonderful to know I'm not alone and have someplace to come to in time of need.

Bentleys mom,
Melanie


Bemtley's Mom
Firstly, I am terribly sorry for your loss of Bemtley. It sounds to me like she was a wonderful dog and that you loved (love) her dearly. You gave her a lon, beautiful life. What a truly wonderful gift.
I hope she finds her way into your dreams, and please take comfort with the fact that you will be joined together one day.
I look forward to your picture of Bentley!
Yours, Mark (and Bicky)

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