Visitations

On March 11, 2014, I lost my beloved tuxedo cat, Mission. He was truly the love of my love...my little animal soulmate. I've posted his story in this forum for anyone to read and comment on.

However, one thing I did not get into was the afterlife events. I am wondering if anyone here has had some "experiences" after they have lost a beloved pet?

We all wonder and worry about our loved ones, once they depart us and their mortal body. Where they are? Are they OK?

One thing I did right before the vet came to send my Mission on, was I asked him several time to let me know if he had made it to the Bridge and had crossed over safely. I pleaded with him to please let me know somehow, in some way.

Since then, things have been sad and silent since I lost him, that is...up until yesterday, when I'm thinking...hoping? that maybe - just maybe... Mission sent a sign?

Yesterday morning I went into my bedroom, where Mission lived, to get a few thing and then left and closed the door behind me. I did not realize that my big black cat, Miner must have sneaked into the room behind me. I had NO idea he did, as I wasn't there long with the door open. Miner had been a pretty good buddy of Mission's for a while many years back...until I started bringing other cats into the house and Mission decided he didn't want to be with the "crowd". Miner took over as the "leader" of the pack. Mission preferred to be alone in the bedroom.

Continuing...the story, I left the house and was gone for a few hours. Upon my return when I opened the door, out dashed Miner in a panic like he'd literally "seen a ghost"!! Now nothing ususally phases this cat. He is a big bossy, but laid back kind of guy. I looked around the room and saw that the area where I had set up a memorial to Mission was somewhat disturbed. Cards and photo albums wher knocked over or in disarray and the Cat Fancy calendar that Mission had appeared in, was on the floor. But, other items were just where they had been and were left undisturbed including Mission's ashes and the mini cypress tree garden.

So...I thought...hmmmm..was this some kind of sign maybe from Mission? Could he and Miner have "gotten into it" when Miner entered his turf? I could see Mission telling him, now wait a minute, buddy, this is MY room so you need to LEAVE. Maybe there was a scuffle between them??

The next occurrance was this morning.

I had finished vacuuming the room and did the rest of the house. After I was done, I returned to the room and noticed that the carpet was pulled up at the edge of the door and there were a few carpet shreds there, as well. I had JUST vacuumed and this spot was clean and there would have been no carpet shreds and I would have noticed if the carpet was pulled up some at the door and would have pushed it back. Mission used to claw at the carpet in the spot and also claw at the door in that same area.

Again..could this have been another SIGN?

Next strange thing.

I have corresponded fairly frequently with two other people on this forum...we have all connected. One lost her cat the very same day I did, and another lost her cat a little before we did. But, each of had a black and white tuxedo, an orange and white tabby and a gray and white tabby.

When I went looking for kitty figurines to go in my little memorial cypress garden, I found a black and white tuxedo cat. But, it was in a packet of 3 kitties you had to purchase together. The black and white, and orange and white tabby, and a gray and white tabby....

Hmmmm....Jaspersmom and Snapdragon, I hope you see this column!

Anyway, some food for thought, for inspiration... and for wondering. I'd love to hear if anyone else has had "visitations" by their beloveds.

Peace and blessings to all of you and your beloved fur babies....

Mission's Mom

Mission's Story

Mission, my beautiful tuxedo cat came into my life on a mission in 2000 and left my life also on a mission. I will always believe this. (His pic is my avatar - more pics to follow, but this will be too long of a commentary to include them all here on this posting.)

In Aug. 2000 I had recently lost my 21 year cat and was grief-striken beyond words. Mission appeared in my yard one day during this time - a stray off some nearby farm sickly and full of parasites. I took him in and nursed him back to health and he became my special buddy from there on.

He needed my help and I needed distraction and comfort and so we bonded together. I took him in, nursed him back to health and he helped ease my pain and grief over the loss of my other cat. There was always something special and mystical about how he came wandering around right at that time when I had lost her.

And, so...I felt he had been sent on a mission. And, hence...his name.

Over the years, I collected a number of other strays/ferals and brought them into my home and cared for them (I have 9 others.) But, none were ever so special...as Mission.

I had a feeling, though, early on that I wouldn't have Mission anywhere near as long as I had my other cat of 21 years. Because, right off the bat, I think he lost a few of his 9-lives.

One episode was a fall he took off the steep steps/balcony of my apt. I was trying to dose him with his antibiotic for the upper respiratory infection he had and he backed away and right off the landing. It was dark and I heard a loud "plop" as he fell - then silence. I softly called kitty...kitty?? Are you OK. and the next minute up he came trotting up the stairs to me as if nothing had ever happened.

The next life lost was one day when I left a plastic shopping bag on the kitchen counter that was full of cat toys and catnip. I left for a short while and upon returning he was in the bag. I yelled "get down, Mission" but as he jumped off the counter, the handle section of the bag got wrapped around him and when he took off running it ballooned out behind him and making that rustling noise. He literally FREAKED and began running and bouncing off the walls and windows. I then freaked seeing him do this and couldn't catch him until I was finally able to block his access through a doorway, and clamped down on him to stop his terrified flight. As I caught him, the poor guy peed in fright all over the floor...

After that, the events were a bit tamer though he did get outside and lost once at my new house. But, the years afterwards went by pretty calmly.

In 2004, I had received a Cat Fancy calendar as a gift and they had an entry form to enter your cat to be in the next year's calendar. I entered a lovely pic of Mission propped up in a funny pose in my window. Months later I received notice in the mail and a Cat Fancy calendar for 2005 and THERE is was....he made it into the calendar! I was so surprised, delighted and extremely proud of Mission. I called him my "Celebrity Cat" and even got the local newpaper to do up a story on him that was printed.

Around 2010 Mission began showing signs of trouble with his health. He started acting lethargic, had a poor appetite and began losing weight. For the next several years we battled with his health...slowly, at first some improvement, then he'd worsen. No holes barred, I spent thousands of dollars on him taking him to a specialty vet hospital with internists working on him. He had endoscopies, countless bloodwork, x-rays, ultra-sounds, etc. He was diagnosed with severe Inflammatory Bowel Disease (but possibly progressing to Lymphoma.)

This poor cat had countless pills to have to take and other liquid meds. We tried dietary changes/control which didn't ever seem to help. He was on steriods, chemo, anti-nausea meds and appetite stimulants...more and more towards the end. He was such a good and patient little trooper throughout this entire ordeal. What an amazing boy - and the EASIEST cat to pill. So, he really helped himself by being sooo very cooperative. For a while, the chemo seemed to hold him status quo.

But, then in January this year, I again started to notice a decline in his condition and more weight loss. We tried changing up some meds and then I took him back in again for more diagnostics. The news was grim - he now had liver involvement, severe pancreatic insufficiency and a heart murmur. There was some possibly sternal lymph node enlargement, as well. I knew I was losing him. But, I did all I could after this news to keep him going and tried feeding him whatever he'd eat...whatever he liked. I spoiled him with fresh cooked salman and ground beef, treats and catnip, etc.

Mission then seemed to actually start to rally and perk up and feel better. I was encouraged. His weight seemed to be holding for the time being. The weather started to warm up and improve and so I took him outside one day on a leash & harness to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine. He enjoyed himself, but I thought then, that it might be his last time outside. Yet, he continued doing well the next few weeks.

On Sunday, the 9th of March Mission seemed to be going to the litter pan constantly and so I though - uh oh, UTI brewing. I watched carefully and he seemed a bit better later in the day. But, something told me on Monday morning when I woke up that I needed to stay home and keep an eye on him. I also made an appt. to bring him in to the vets to check on possible UTI on Thursday. But, he seemed to be doing better still that day. I spent the entire day around the house and checking on him, coaxing him to eat, and mind you, I had to give him appetite stimulants pretty frequently during the past few months to keep him eating and interested in his food.

During the afternoon it warmed up into the 60's - and was gorgeous. I decided to take him out again on a leash/harness to let him enjoy some fresh air and sunshine. And, BOY...it was like he was a young healthy cat again. The life sprang back into him and he was THRILLED. He rolled around on the sidewalk, nibbled a blade of grass, sniffed & strolled around, scratched his claws on the railroad tie surrounding the driveway. We spent a good 1/2 hour out, at least, and when I brought him back inside he ran back to the door begging to go out again - I'm thinking SPOILED you! I propped him up in a few open windows after that and he stayed awhile and then would jump down again. I put him back up finally in the bedroom thinking - wow, he sure had a good day today.

That evening after dinner, I fell asleep on the sofa and then went on up to bed late. As I entered the room I noticed him on the bed laying in an awkward position with an anxious expression. At first, I didn't think too much of it and, silly me, decided to give him his dose of Carafate (coats the stomach) since he was laying there. But, he didn't move much when I gave him the dose and continued with the anxious look. So, I picked him up and set him on the floor... that's when I saw it.

Mission was crippled on his right front and right hind legs and could not walk/hold himself up. He had had a CVA (stroke or clot.) I remember feeling at the time this calm sense of reality and finality - that "oh no, this was it, my baby - your time has come." This event made the decision pretty clear-cut.

Through the rest of the night I curled up with my Mission in bed, holding him close and kept telling him that it was alright to go and that I'd be OK and that we'd see each other again at the Bridge one day. I didn't cry and was very calm and reassuring to him throughout the night and he seemed reasonably comfortable. He struggled once in an effort to get up, but simply couldn't. I realized he likely needed to potty. So, I took him to the litter pan and, bless his sweet heart, he relieved himself for me as I supported him and held him upright - otherwise he would have been face down in the pan unable to stand. I set him down by his food and water bowls and he sniffed at them but seemed confused and just looked back and forth at them and just lay there.

I took him back to bed and I snuggled with him again for the remainder of the night talking to him. Got little to no sleep as I knew what faced me in the morning. I called the vet and she gave me a little more time to spend with him that morning, Tuesday, the 11th. I layed down on the floor with him on his cushion and continued talking to him and reassuring him and asking him to let me know when he got to the Bridge and made it safely over.

At one point Mission looked up and out the window at the cypress trees blowing in the warm wind and then his gaze shifted up to the sky. I asked him if he saw "the light" or saw the bridge and if he was ready to go....shortly after that, the vet arrived and I saw the process through to the end.

I lost my beloved Mission my earth angel on Tuesday, March 11th. I was never sure exactly how old he was, but think somewhere between 14 - 15. I have been suffering severe grief and am devastated over losing him.

I now realize those last few weeks of his life and that last day truly were his last "hurrah". People have told me that both people and animals dying sometimes have this last little "spurt" of energy right before they go. And, I believe now this is likely what was happening. But, it "teased" me into believing that he was doing better and I might have him around for a while longer.

Since then, although I know he had a wonderful last day (and last few weeks) on earth...and I feel happy about the fact that I was able to give that to him, and I did my very best to help him with his disease, I am STILL devastated over his loss. He was my earth angel and was simply put... an "old soul". He was just the sweetest most patient and adoring cat you could ever ask for. I miss him terribly. I've tried doing all the right things to get through the grieving. But, I still bawl my eyes out every day.

I have a memorial set up in the room with his pictures, flowers, etc. I carry a small bit of his fur and a picture in a locket now around my neck. I knew I had to do these things in his memory. As for me, there will just NEVER EVER be another cat in my life like him.

And so it goes. Mission came into my life on a special mission and left my life in just the same way - his bittersweet departure was for a reason, as he is on his next mission with the Angels.....LOVE YOU FOREVER IN ETERNITY....My Mission, my celebrity cat...my butterfly boy (for his butterfly shaped mustache.)

Mission's Mom...

Going Home

I justs finished reading the book, Going Home: Finding Peace When Pets Die, by Jon Katz. It was a great read, but honestly, I left so many teardrops all over the pages of this book.


This was given to me as a gift from a good friend after the death of my beloved cat, Mission, on March 11, 2014. She understood the depth of my grief and presented me with this book to try to help me wade through all the emotions evoked from losing a beloved pet.

I just now finished a eulogy that I wrote from the heart...with very little pause, on the front page of the book. It goes as this:

In memory of my beloved Mission, my eternal earth angel.

You came to me on a mission to help heal my grief, and left on a mission, when your time came - March 11, 2014.

I will love you and cherish you forever in eternity and will hold you close to my broken heart until I die.

Until we meet again, my angel, my butterfly boy...at the Rainbow Bridge.

Fly on now, my Mission...and do what you do best - bring Joy and Hope.

Your ever-loving earth mom...

Support And Comments On This Forum?

I just joined and I thought that this forum would be of some help...mutual for others and for me.

I've made several comments of support and aired my grief in replies to some others on this forum. Yet only ONE person has responded and commented. I've commented and replied on several others, though, and have yet to receive a comment or be acknowledged.

Thank you Snapdragon for YOUR support and words of comfort. However, even the forum moderator has never commented on ANY of my responses or posts.

Perhaps I need to start a new topic....I don't know and so I don't know where I went wrong here. But, I didnt' want to start a new posting immediately and just wanted to try commenting and replying to others twho had posted and were grieving as I was.

I had such hopes for this forum...and in my grief, the ONLY person who has bothered to respond and comment back has been Snapdragon.

Thank you, Snapdragon for that..but I will likely not be posting any longer. I will share my grief elsewhere....and likely drop off the forum....