My Life Has No Meaning Now!, He was my life savior and now hes gone! Options

[smokey18]

My boy of 18 years passed away 3 weeks ago today in my arms. I am completely lost without him I have had him my whole life he has saved my life at least 3 times. I feel like there is no reason for me to be here now. I did create a Facebook memorial in memory of Smokey and you can read the description of the impact he has had on me and others I would appreciate is so incredibly much if everyone that's sees this can "like" and share his page on your wall I want to make it to 1000 likes for him. His page is the only thing I have to hold on to now.

https://m.facebook.com/pages/RIP-Smokey/194...440436&_rdr

[moon_beam]

Hi, smokey18, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Smokey. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company.

Smokey's mom, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time. It is a journey that is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time, for it is a journey that is now filled with all the "first withouts" and the memories that can be too painful right now that include "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" to endure.

But I assure you, Smokey's mom, it is a journey you will not have to travel alone. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there really are no adequate words that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. I know how painfully empty your heart and life is feeling, but I promise you it will not always be this way. One day when you least expect it you will find yourself thinking of your beloved Smokey and you will find yourself smiling, - - truly smiling - - and your heart will feel the warmth of your treasured memories once again. Until that time comes for you, Smokey's mom, I hope the words I share with you will be able to offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

And I hope you will find comfort in knowing that the love bond you and your beloved Smokey share is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Smokey's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will - - for he is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, Smokey's mom - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Smokey with us. I can see in his eyes and face how much he is loved, and you are now his beneficiary of his eternal love as his Forever Mom. I do not subscribe to any of the social networking services - - "high technology" is challenging for this older woman. But I hope you will be able to obtain your goal of "likes" - - plus mine. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Smokey's mom, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Tom's Dad]

smokey18

I'm so sorry to hear of the passing of your precious Smokey. I was deeply touched by your tribute on Facebook. I both "liked" and shared it. All of us here on LS know and understand your grief and sorrow. There are no "just a dog" "just a cat" etc to we the parents who deeply love and cherish our fur children. We are all here for you. Take care.

TTT

[Bobbie]

Dear Smokey's mom,

First, I am so very sorry that you have physically lost the love of your life. As moon_beam so aptly put it, this is a loss like no other ever was or ever will be. Smokey was a huge part of your life here on earth and that can never be replaced. He sounds like an absolutely wonderful boy and I, for one and I'm sure I speak for many of us on Lightning-Strike, would love to hear more about him and you. I know there are hundreds, even thousands of memories that flood your heart every minute. That is one thing about this site: every single one of us is here to listen to your heart, to affirm your love-bond with Smokey and to support you on this most hellacious journey.

Try to hold onto the good times and not dwell so much on the should have's or would have's, etc. I know that is foremost in your mind right now, but soon you will get past them and onto the precious, loving and warm memories of you and Smokey. (BTW, I love his name.)
Also, I firmly believe that the human-companion bond is not severed by physical separation. Smokey is still very much alive, but in a different form. He is in your heart, right next to you when you lie in bed or watch television, drive the car, shop or do anything else. Smokey is now your Spirit Dog, able to shower you with more love than you can imagine. Soak it all up, grieve as you must, but Smokey can only send you what I call, "love rays". HE knows how much you love him, how much you miss him and wish with all your might that you two could be together again. That day will also come, when you two are together again, in another plane, never to be separated again.
Smokey has now met my Trevor, my Rudy, my Jasper, my Kelly, my Birney and my Crocker in the glorious place I call Heaven. Yes, Smokey's mom, I know that all my boys are together, along with millions of other animals companions, making new friends every day and stopping at nothing to brag about you and all the love you gave him. That goes on for hours and the critters never tire of it. Smokey is happy, except for one thing and that is that his mom is so sad right now and it will take TIME for him to help you on this grief journey.
But, again, moon_beam is right when she says that the gift of time, and it truly is a gift, will gently allow you to start thinking of Smokey as you remember him in the good times. Slowly, ever so slowly, a slight smile or sigh may touch your lips. That is OK because Smokey is right there to share that with you. Please know that in no way sharing the good memories and delighting in them means that you are "forgetting" or being disloyal to Smokey. That can never happen.

So, please, Smokey's mom, let this new family of Lightning-Strike members learn about the magnificent Smokey and the love you two shared. I have been writing on this site for over 2 years and still have so much more to say. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU, 24/7, 365 ! And THANK YOU FOR LOVING YOUR SMOKEY AS MUCH AS YOU HAVE AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO!

Peace be with you tonight and for all nights to come. I will be telling my boys to watch out for Smokey and give him a welcome that only Cocker Spaniels can. See, all my boys were Cocker Spaniels. Right now I share my heart with two more: Dreamer and Kelley.

Would you mind if I end this with what I say to not only my boys, but all the wonderful animals I have come to know here.

I LOVE YOU, SMOKEY!
Bobbie

[smokey18]

I thank everyone for such kind words. This is the hardest thing I have every had to deal with. I just cant believe the amount of pain I am feeling. I have lost pets before, but none with the connection that him and I shared. I miss him so much. It is so hard for me to tell how I feel or how much I love him, because when I try it just never seems like I am doing it right and it upsets me. I have tried to do things in honor of him, but nothing ever seems good enough.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Smokey's mom, thank you for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. Each relationship we have with our companions is unique because each companion is special to us in uniquely different ways. So it is very normal for us to grieve differently for each companion. This does not mean we love each of them less, or more - - it simply means that the love bond we share with each of them is different.

When our hearts are deeply grieving it is very hard for us to feel peace in our hearts that anything we do to honor our beloved companion's earthly journey is "good enough." But I promise you, Smokey's mom, that your beloved Smokey knows the endearing love you have for him in your heart, and whatever you do for him to honor him is a testimony of the eternal love bond you and your beloved Smokey share - - therefore, whatever you do brings him great joy. And we are honored to share with you whatever treasured memories you wish to share.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Smokey's mom, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Smokey's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Bobbie]

Good Morning, Smokey's mom,

I wish you a day of peace and good memories of all the you and Smokey shared. He is sending you tons of Love Rays from Heaven, as are his wonderful new friends there. Bask in the warmth of his love and I promise you that you will feel strength and hope from them.

This is the most difficult time of your life. I know that I would just sob and sob every time I thought of my Trevor, many times a day. I still have pictures of Trevor up in every room of my house and he's been in Heaven over two years now. I even have a picture of him taped to the dashboard of my car. This may help you, too, but even if it isn't right for you, you will find what gives you the most comfort. Right now, we at LS who know what you are going through are here to listen, to share, to give you comfort and understanding. Everything that you are feeling is normal, even though it seems like the hardest thing you've ever gone through. I can just tell how much you love Smokey and I know that he is so grateful that you are his mommy.

A dear friend of mine told me about the butterflies and I will share it with you. She told me that every time I see a butterfly, no matter the shape, size or color, my Trevor was sending me a love message that he was thinking of me and reassuring me that he was fine. I see them all the time now. I miss them in the winter when it is cold, but even then I've seen them on wallpaper and on so many greeting cards that I get. You may want to keep an eye out for them because Smokey will be sending you them, too. Or he might send you other messages that only you and he shared. But, please know that Smokey is with you always and everywhere. He is you guarding Spirit Dog.

I am here, as are so many others, to hold you up and to walk with you every step of this difficult journey. Lean on us, we understand (as no one else may). Share the good and the not-so-good. Your words will also help someone else traveling this horrid path, even though you may never know it. Thank you for sharing your Smokey with us. We love him, too.

I LOVE YOU, SMOKEY!
XO Bobbie XO

[smokey18]

Yes, not many do understand and think I should move on already and I just can't. In my head I know he is happy now and not in pain and he passed right where he wanted to and deep down where I wanted him to to, right in my arms, but I just want him back. I look at his pictures and videos sometimea and just scream and cry and people tell me I need to stop, but even though I am screaming and flipping out it does make me feel a little better. He is so so deeply missed that I cant even describe it. I know people here do understand and it made me so happy I am tired of having to try to explain why im not over it, most cant even begin to understand the relationship him and I had. I had a Tribute video made for me and I posted in another thread it is so very beautiful it made me smile seeing all his love and seeing him memorialized like that. I never paid must attention to butterflies, but I will now and I really hop his page and video and everything is able to help others.

[Bobbie]

Dear Smokey's Mom.

Listen to me and listen well: YOU MOVE ON IN YOUR GRIEF JOURNEY WHEN YOU, AND ONLY YOU, ARE READY!!!!! We are the only site that can say we have infinite patience with all grief journey and we will support you all the way! No one else has the right to coerce you to move on - no one!

With lots of love and peace,
Trevor's Mom, Bobbie

[Gretta's Mom]

Dear Smokey's mom

This isn't going to be a memory of Gretta or Rufus. Instead it is to second the message from Bobbie.

There are people who have known the love of special animals (the fortunate ones) and those who have not (the unfortunate ones). The unfortunate ones CANNOT and WILL NEVER understand that heart slicing grief we (yes, the fortunate ones) go through when a soul-mate goes home to the Perfect World. It's like us trying to read a page of, say, Hindi, and then people getting upset wiith us because we can't do it.

When a special soul-mate like your Smokey goes home, he leaves a piece of his heart with you and takes a piece of your heart with him. YOU HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR HEART! Sometimes are easier to bear than others, but the hole remains until you are once again united with your soul-mate in the Perfect World.

If you are a solo, you can express your great pain in louder and more "unusual" ways than if you live with other people. When my dog Gretta passed I slept on her deluxe dog bed for over a week, just to feel closer to her. I cried enough tears to almost get dehydrated. I'm a loud sobber - so sob I did - A LOT!

Bobbie is right - this the ONE place where no one is going to tell you how or when or how long to grieve for Smokey. We are a band of "fortunate ones" borthers and sisters and we support and care for each other - no matter what!

We are her for you 24/7 and if we're sleeping when you call, be assured that the first thing we do in the morning is look to see who of our friends needs some kind words and comforting. We will NEVER go away while you need us.

And our beloved animals, like your Smokey and Chloe, ARE. They can see us and hear us and walk along beside us and guide our steps exactly as before. The only difference is that WE can't see or hear or otherwise sense them (or only rarely). But they are right where they always were, ready to be called upon for help, listen to words of grieef or love or just funny memories.

Please be genlte with yourself, Smokey's mom. The tributes you have had made for Smokey are exquisite. I'm afraid to watch the video right now because I am still - after 3+ years, grieving the passing of my Gretta, the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived.

Have the best day you can, and consider yourself a success if you end the day still exhaling after you inhale.

Blessings to you ....

Grett and Rufus's mom

[smokey18]

Thank You so much for your amazing support. I never expected so many people to band together for my baby. I cant really talk to anyone else. MY parents dont approve of me looking at his photos and such. They think its causeing more harm than good. I am glad you think the tributes are exquisite. I never think anything is good enough for his memory. I feel like I need to do more or something else. I dont know. Chief is by me more than ever and he was already a velcro dog. I am a loud crier as well, but when I get to thinking to much I can help but to scream that I miss him so much. Sometimes I don't know how much more of this pain I can take I always feel so sick to my stomach. The video is so beautiful I watch it when I start to really feel upset. It seems to help me for some reason.

[Gretta's Mom]

Dear Smokey's mom

How are you doing this morning? Remember: your only task until YOU feel you can do something more is to exhale after you inhale (and take in enough food and water to keep yourself alive). THAT'S IT! No one, even we Lightning Strikers have any right to tell you how to act or feel during this most intense period of grief and loss. Never mind what others, even closest family, tellyou you shoudl or shouldn't do. What you're doing is fabulous. The tributes to Smokey are exquisite and they help us who are in the same grief-boat but just a little farther along than you. The few things to concentrate on might be

Smokey is NOT gone, he's just changed form

Smokey is with you at all times, only in spirit form so you may not sense him

Smokey is in the Perfect World where you will join him someday, never to be parted again

Smokey is (not WAS) your one-in-the-universe soul-mate

When soul-mates have to be separated, they exchange pieces of each other's soulr to carry with them and treasure

Smokey loves you more than anything or anyone else in the universe

Smokey chose YOU and only YOU out of all the millions and billions of people in the univers to be his soul-mate and his earthly mom

Smokey will be with you all the way through your grief journey

Your grief is your and yours alone. NO one else's grief is or has been exactly like yours

There are some common features of grief, but everyone's grief is theirs alone - because their soul-mate relationship is unique

My heart is always with you and I can't wait to see Smokey in the Perfect World

Try not to listen to - or take the advice of - people who mean well but have never experienced an animal soul=mate and then a heart-shattering separation

Try to remember that your serparation from Smokey is only temporary - although some days it will feel eternal

Now that Smokey is a spirit, he can understand English!! That means you can talk to him, cry to him, write to him like you couldn't while he was phsically present

Smokey sees all the beautiful tributes you have done for him and he goes all over the Perfect World showing the to the other animals up there

The most important thing to remember anc hold close to your heart is SMOKEY LOVES YOU - there has been NO change in that.

Please keep calling on us as you go through the hardest experience you will ever have. We care. We understand/ And we're here.

Have the best day you can today,

Gretta and Rufus's mom

[smokey18]

Oh wow, that was so beautoful definatly touched me. I have been trying to stay busy and just going and going not sure if that is good either. As I said on hi Fb this morning. I have been seeing a lot of dogs now that look just like him and it is kind of freaking me out/ My heart sinks everytime and makes me wish I had him back. I do truly believe he is here though. I just want to hold him again so bad. I wish this wasn't real so much I miss my baby so much. This pain is i cant describe, but I know in my life I will never be able to go without a dog, but I am not sure I will ever feel this exact much pain with any other pet Smokey was as you said my soul mate. You always put things into the right words that is exactly how I feel and how I wish I could say how he means to me.

[Gretta's Mom]

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Hey Mr Smokey

Get ready for a BIG party tonight! Seven PM EST.

It's at Gretta and Rufus's house! I've asked them to come and get you if you haven't already met.

The party is for Trevor's mom (Trevor is Rufus and Gretta's cousin). She got a very very good report from her doctor yesterday!

Have Gretta tell you about all the prayer hums we've had for her as she fought for her life.

This time IT'S A PARTY! Eat all you want (Perfect World, remember - no calories and no tummy aches!)

Make lots of noise so we can hear you here on earth.

Then, when you're done partying, bow your heads and everybody go to the Good Master and thank Him for doing this for Trevor's mom.

Welcome to our pack, Smokey!!

XOXOXOXOOXOXOX

Gretta and Rufus's mom