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> Need Some Advice, So full of doubts about an adoption
Valentino my boy
post Oct 3 2012, 01:15 PM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 40
Joined: 1-July 12
Member No.: 7,672



First of all, I want to thank everybody because all of you help me recover from the loss of my Tino.

Since he left his dad (my husband) bring home another puppy (Mateo) that also has help very much, he is a handfull, but he is sooo sweet that all you can do is love him.

Right now I'm having problem trying to make up my mind, and will love to hear your opinion about the subject.

A white and blue chihuahua girl, that is going to be 3 year old this november, sister of Clementina and aunt of Tino, just became available, the breeder give her away because she doesn't get pregnant, I have her under my care (in my office, not at my home). She is a very sweet girl, a little demanding, with some adaptation issues, and a big problem of coprophagia (I became aware of this just a couple of days ago).

I took her in because I wanted to be sure she ended up in a nice loving house, I haven't found the ideal home for her, and now with the copropagia problem is going to be even harder, she is now under treatment (not working btw, but I keep trying to fix it). Since it has been so hard to find the right home, my husband suggested that we should adopt her.

To be honest, I'm torn, at having to take a decision that should be very easy. I have so many doubts, because finally things at home are in a balance again since Tino left, Mateo getting home (he also had a coprophagia issue, that is now under control), house training him, he getting along with my other two girls, I know it doesn't seem like a lot, but for my it was a little hard. And I don't want to mess everything by introducing another dog.

But I feel so selfish to deny a home to this other dog that needs help, just because I'm feeling lazy (I know I'm being a horrible person) to start again, to potty train a difficult dog, the coprophagia, the fear that Mateo will fall into his nasty habits again, to break the balance that we have now, I know that in time we will find the balance again, but I don't feel like starting again, to tell you the truth, is laziness of the process, I love the dog, I want the dog in my house, but I don't want to go thru the process.

I feel like the most awful person in the world, I know I'm being such a selfish, horrible person but I really have to make up my mind and I haven't been able to do it on my own, and also I just can't leave her to be someone elses problem. So if you have some advice I will really aprecciate it, don't worry about being hard in your comments, maybe thats just what I need

Thank you so much!!!

P.S. The possibility of a trial run is out of the question, if I decide to give her a home, she is in for good
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moon_beam
post Oct 3 2012, 02:36 PM
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Hi, Valentino, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. It is obvious that you have a loving heart, Valentino. However, it is okay so say "no" to taking on a commitment to a new furchild. We all have our limitations and it doesn't stem from laziness - - it simply means that we have reached our limit in being able to cope with circumstances as they are. Your world was turned upside down and inside out with the physical loss of both your beloved Tina and Tino, and now you have just gotten your home back into a healthy balance. There is no shame in your wanting to keep it this way.

You have very reasonable concerns about bringing a new companion into your home, so my advice to you - - for whatever it is worth - - is to either keep working with this little girl toward adoption to a loving Forever Home - - or perhaps you may even consider her going to another foster home for continued training so that you will not continue to be tempted into adopting her against your better judgment.

At one point in time this little home enjoyed the physical presence of four precious companions. This was my limit, although my heart would always melt when I saw another precious waif looking for a forever home. The simple truth was that I could not realistically care for another companion - - I was at my limit with four and my focus needed to be on what was best for them. This is the same case for you, Valentino - - you need to focus on what you know is best for you and your current situation. There is nothing wrong with how you are feeling.

I hope this helps you, Valentino. Of course the final decision is always yours, and please know that whatever you decide will be the best decision for you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Valentino, and please let us know how things go.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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Valentino my boy
post Oct 12 2012, 01:36 PM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 40
Joined: 1-July 12
Member No.: 7,672



Thank you Moon_beam, your words always so kind and right.

I've been trying to find another foster home for her, but the ones that I like are full, so it appears that I'm going to keep looking after her. I'll keep trying to find her a nice house, and if by the end of this year i haven't succed in this I'll re-evaluate the possibility of adopting her myself, maybe then I'll be emoti&%^ly capable of doing so, but right now I'm not going to pressure myself, beside she seems very happy at my office, so there is no hurry.

Thanks again for your advice moon_beam, be sure you have been very helpful biggrin.gif!!!
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