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MillieAngel
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MillieAngel

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25 Dec 2014

Today is a tough day... the first Christmas without my Millie! She absolutely loved Christmas, she would wake us all up throughout the years and open her own little pile of presents, it was such a joy to watch!
I lost her in March due to a brain tumor and I've just popped back because today I'm struggling more so than other days. I miss her so much, and not a day goes by that I don't think of her, the sweetest little soul... I would do anything to cuddle her again and love her!

Merry Christmas to all of you and you're in my thoughts those who are without their precious companions today... and everyday for that matter!
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17 Mar 2014
I wrote recently about my dog Millie... she started to have seizures, which I soon found out were due to a brain tumour. sad.gif
The vet prescribed some steroids to take down any inflammation and said she may surprise us and live another year. Well it was going ok for about a week and a half. Millie was loving her walks, food, cuddles etc... Until two nights ago she had another seizure which she never really came out of, she was twitching, drooling, her little paw kept giving way, within half hour she had another big seizure, so rushed her to the emergency vets, they said they could give her something to possibly bring her out of it. When they took her out the back to give her an IV, the vet came back to say she'd just had another seizure in the meantime and that it would be unfair at this point to let her go on sad.gif
She bought Millie back to say goodbye and she started to wag her tail, thinking she was coming home :'(
When they took her away, she was looking at me with her ears up as if to say "where am I going, aren't i coming home with you?" And I couldn't take it, I screamed for her and tried to get her back, but my brother held me against the wall so I couldn't, as they knew it was her time to go.

When we got home I couldn't go back into my house, I couldn't bear to see where she had those seizures, where she was laying before she had one... can't bear to sleep in my bed, where Millie's dent is still in her blanket on the end of it.
I've come to a friends in London, beautiful weather on the river and my whole world is black! A deep sadness and feeling of emptiness.
I don't know how I'm going to go home and face it all.
I know some people are so strong in these times and I'm really not holding out so well! I miss her so much, my heart physically hurts, I can't swallow food, just soup.
She was my best friend, she was always by my side... followed me everywhere. 13 years she honoured me with her heartwarming presence that got me through many good and bad times. It's the end of a chapter which I just can't bear to close. Please, somebody take this heartache away!
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5 Mar 2014
Hello everybody and thank you for taking the time to read this! (It's quite a long post)

Let me introduce you to Millie, my beloved 13 year old Jack Russell. I got her for my 17th birthday as a puppy, which makes me 30 (this week)
Millie is one of the sweetest little dogs you'll ever meet, she has such a lovely nature and everybody that meets her say's she isn't like most dogs, she's almost human like. In the 13 years I've had her she has always been by my side, through good times and bad... just her presence alone has a massive impact. So she is a very special dog, as Im sure all your babies are to you all.

I have recently found she has a brain tumour. This was discovered after her first seizure two weeks ago, which was so heartbreaking to witness... I instantly took her to the vets, who ran some blood work to check for diabetes/glucose levels... this came back normal, she then had more blood taken to test for insulin levels to see if there was a growth on her pancreas.
So a week later all was well, and I was praying it could just be a one off... but no, poor Millie had her second seizure, which left her mouth twitching/chewing, which I wasn't happy about leaving, I took her back to vets... she said there wasn't much to do until the results came back, but either way not looking good as it was slowly ruling everything treatable out. When asked about the twitching, she told me it was a normal after affect to the seizure. Not being content with that answer I looked it up and apparently they were in fact petite mal seizures. Well, later that night, Millie had another big seizure, which was so awful, she was practically perpendicular and I had to administer a rectal tube of Valium. She came out of the that and I rushed her back to the vets, who broke the news of the results... they all came back normal which has basically limited the cause coming from the brain, a tumour :'( I am absolutely devastated!
I have been prescribed Prednisolone to take away any inflammation in her brain which I;m hoping will prevent further seizures, although I have read about them having some nasty side effects in themselves.
They said these will just prolong her life for a bit, but it will get progressively worse and then we might want to think about putting her to sleep sad.gif I have never had to deal with this before, my last dog died naturally in her sleep... and I've never had a dog for this amount of time nor have I had such a strong bond.

I am beside myself, I'm trying not to be upset around Millie as I know they pick up on this.. but it's heartbreaking to see her deteriorate. Since the last big seizure, I have noticed differences in her, such as pacing and doing things slightly out of her character. I know this is going to get worse and I can't bear that... she is my world, I have no children yet and so I see her like my baby in a way. I just want to take all this away from her sad.gif

I know I still have her at the moment, but I feel a sense of despair, and desperate... I don't know, it's like I'm hoping for somebody to miraculously make it all better and take the pain. I know this isn't possible and am trying to enjoy whatever time is left.

I would love to hear from any of you, whether you have a dog who has suffered from anything similar or just some words of comfort. These are very sad days. I'm not going to work so that I can stay with her, and I don't feel I can leave her in case anything happens whilst I'm not there.

Once again thank you for taking the time to read this and I look forward to meeting others who know how painful this is!
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6 Apr 2014 - 22:12

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