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Joined: 4-June 14
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Last Seen: 14th December 2017 - 05:14 PM
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19 Nov 2017
Friday I took my cat Daisy to the emergency room only to find out she was in kidney failure. She died on Saturday evening. She was only 5. I really did not think she was that sick or would die so I am in total shock. I can't even believe it was real. It was so awful and sudden even my husband was crying. My vet said she had an intensive infection of her kidneys and bladder, but I still can't stop worrying that I some how poisoned her. I mean, how does an indoor cat suddenly get a raging infection? A toxin seems more likely. (We have no plants and are careful with people pills). I have been cleaning a lot this week (for the holiday) and I am afraid maybe I left some cleaning product out that she got into, or I petted her with cleaning product hands and she ingested it. Also I feel TERRIBLE, since on Thursday night before bed she was blocking my exit from the bathroom and "talking" to me, which she has never ever done. I think now she was trying to tell me she did not feel well and was asking for help --- but truly, she seemed fine, eating and no vomiting, none of the symptoms you read about. But I KNEW the behavior was weird. Why didn't I do something? I just petted her and told her to go to bed. I can't bear the thought that she asked me for help and she thinks I did nothing or didn't care. Also, she died alone in the vet hospital with an IV needle in her arm, which she didn't like. We couldn't get there soon enough. From her perspective, I did nothing when she asked for help, then sent her away to strangers who stuck needles in her arm and left her to die with no one from home. So you see, plenty to regret and feel awful about.

She was a beautiful calico cat, small in stature but big in personality, super smart and with a sense of humor. She loved pipe cleaners, and if you accidentally left a packet out she would open them and pass out pipe cleaners to her sisters and herself to play with. She slept by my feet at night and when I get up she slinks up to the area next to my pillow, both to take advantage of the warm spot I left and to see if I left any ear buds for her to play with (she lived the rubber bits at the end). I love her very much.

The worst part is we have her litter mates (2 sisters) and her mom, and they were all very attached to one another. They walk around the house in a little 4 cat crowd, "talking" to each other. Now the remaining three are all upset - where is Daisy?

I miss her so much and my heart feels broken. I am seriously considering giving out other 3 cats away now, since I feel like I can't do this 3 more times. It would be less painful to send them to new homes. This is the 3rd pet we have lost in less that 9 months, so it is extra hard. I hope so much I did not contribute to her death.
1 Jun 2017
Dear Henry -
Its been 3 years tonight since I lost you. Still miss having you in my life more than I can explain. Love you.
14 Mar 2017
My first ever pets, Henry, Pumpkin and Sweet Spot, were given to me about 2004 by my then boyfriend/now husband. Henry was a stray kitten my husband found alone in a forest, pumpkin we adopted to keep Henry company, and Sweet Spot adopted me by showing up one day at my door and staying.
Henry died in 2014, and Pumpkin and Sweet Spot died last year (February and August). They were the best friends I ever had (sounds weird?) and were with me through some very hard times and some very happy times. Me and "my trio". The last one of the trio dying (Sweet Spot) was the worst - it was like a chunk of my life was gone too, now that the three of them were gone. I loved them a lot and I think they loved me too.

I still miss them so much, which makes me think I am nuts. I still cry about it at least once a week in secret, so my husband doessnt think I'm too crazy. Am I? I go to work every day, I have people friends, I feel normal most of the time. Just sometimes I still feel really really sad and miss them sooooo much.
23 Feb 2017
Dear Pumpkin -
Its been a year since we lost you. Miss you and love you always.
30 Dec 2016
I lost two well loved pets this year (2016) and for some reason I am grief stricken over the upcoming year change to 2017- I feel like no longer "being in" the same year that Pumpkin and Sweet Spot were alive is a new loss or greater separation. I can't explain it; I know it so CRAZY and irrational, yet I've been crying about it almost every day since Christmas. Yeah, I know the calendar is arbitrary and January 1 is only 1 day different from December 31. It just feels like more and more distance between us and a deepening of loss. I miss you guys so much, and think of you every day.

I'm crazy like this, I think, feeling like I can "hold on" even though they are gone. After Sweet Spot died in August my husband tried to give away his extra unopened food. I hid it in the guest room closet so he couldn't. It was literally too painful to get rid of it. I still have it hidden away - perfectly good cat food that I know some shelter cats would love to have and I KNOW I should give it to them. I just can't yet.

If my husband is reading this - now you know where all the Weruva cans went . . ..
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