Sweet Zita Gone Options

[Zita'sMom]

My dear Zita went out the night of October 20th and that is the last I saw of her. At first I was sure someone was going to find her, but as I handed out poster after poster in the neighbourhood, the common response was "cougar". We live in farm country - moved here a year and a half ago, and though I knew there were occasional bear in the area, our place is well fenced and I didn't think too much of it. Traffic is very light here and I thought my cats were pretty safe. Then after talking to each neighbour I realized that by letting my cats go out at night (they have a cat door) I was putting her at extreme risk. I had no idea cougars were so prevalent here.

My Zita would home if she had a choice. She was very bonded to us and there is no way she would wander off and stay somewhere else of her own will. I had 2 animal communicators try to connect with her - one said they felt she was being fed somewhere else but disoriented. That is really hard for me to believe because I have put posters up on all the post boxes where people collect their mail and there is practically no way someone could not be aware she is missing. Also I have talked to every neighbour within a reasonable range. Zita was a homebody so there is no reason she would be far away. The other animal communicator felt strongly that she was in spirit, and I think she is right.

The grisly, gruesome thing is the neighbour behind us found deer remains buried in her yard apparently just a month earlier, by cougar. If only I had realized the danger. I have paid for my ignorance with Zita's life and this is on my mind constantly. The only thing I can do to function is to send her love every time I feel this pain. I feel such immense grief. She was going to be 4 years old in February and her brother Zeus, who was with her since conception, will now be alone. They gave me so much joy, watching them snuggled together and now seeing Zeus alone just destroys me. I thought I would have them for many, many years.

I really need to vent as people either expect me to just "get on with it", or judge me because they believe cats should always be indoors. Zeus is not allowed out at night anymore, but I feel it unfair to keep him from being outside completely since he has always had those privileges.

Up until the last few days I did everything to search for her or her remains. But a conservation officer told me that if a cougar got her I will never likely find anything. Zita simply exuded love. She was my joy. Thinking about the way she most likely died makes me feel so sickened and guilty - I was so naive to the dangers.

Thanks for listening.

Jan

[Sockers]

Hi Jan,

I'm so sorry about Zita and how you are feeling right now. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

We have very similar stories in that my Sockers disappeared about the same time. She is about four years old and was raised with a sister who misses her terribly, and was also pretty much a homebody up until the night she went missing. We have lived here for about nine months, and I thought my kitties were safe too, since they had lived inside/outside all their lives. I still haven't given up that Socks will maybe one day come home because cats are known to survive a long time on their own, but I don't expect it like I did at the beginning. She is still however, the last thing I think about before going to sleep, and the first thing I'm thinking of when I wake up.

The people who tell you to "get over it" do not understand the connection we have with our pets, and probably just don't want to see you in such pain but don't know what to do to help. Our pets are members of our family - a huge important part of everyday life, and when you lose a part of your family it takes time to absorb the loss. Especially when it's so sudden and there is no definitive answer on what happened to them. Please do not feel guilty for letting Zita live the life she loves. I know that feeling as well, and maybe we were naive, but if we learn from our experiences then they are not without purpose. That's the nature of guilt - to teach us something. After the lesson has been learned, then there is no more reason for it to exist. All of us who love our pets care for them in the best way we know how, and opinions differ greatly. We do the best we can because we love them.

Please take comfort in the fact that there are many people here who understand exactly what you are going through, and care a lot about your well being. I found this place very comforting when nobody in my family truly understood the pain I was in, although they tried. There is still a chance that Zita may come home on her own, but I know the struggle between keeping hope alive and accepting the fact that they are gone. It's gut-wrenching, and either way the healing process must begin. You will do this in your own time, in your own way. There is no right or wrong way, just your way.

Take care, and peace to you,
Jacki

[LoveThem]

I am so sorry to hear about Zita. Not knowing about something just adds to what is already very painful. You mentioned being near the woods and also about maybe letting out your other cat.

You might want to go to the Section called Death and Dying Pet Support and click on the topic "Eight Months Today..." by AlleysMom. Her cat caught what is known as Bobcat Fever. Please read up on this disease so at least you are aware it is out there. I would hate to have you lose your other one if you are in an area this could happen. The disease is called cytauxzoonosis and fatal to cats. Please read the story of Alley and also the topic her Mom put a link to with the name of this horrible disease.

Take Care........

[Zita'sMom]

Please take comfort in the fact that there are many people here who understand exactly what you are going through, and care a lot about your well being. Take care, and peace to you,
Jacki

Jacki

Thank you for your post. I think your situation is really similar to mine. My biggest regret is not learning more about the risk of cougars in the area. It horrifies me to realize how bad the risks really are here. I had no idea. I realize that any rural area will have wildlife risk - we have known of black bears particularly and we have deer in the area. I thought the risk of cougar attack was really small. Zita and Zeus don't look for confrontation so concern about things like raccoons was quite low. The traffic is minimal here so I thought the cats were relatively safe.

I know there are always some risks for cats that go outdoors. We lost another cat last year who was killed by the neighbour's dog. My husband and I talked at length about this and decided that our cats had a very fulfilling life outdoors on the farm and didn't want to restrict this, despite that a horrible accident happened. However, the risk of cougars is mainly at night and I would have happily kept the cats indoors at night and given them daytime outdoor privileges had I really understood the risks. Something like a confrontation with a dog could happen in any area any time - horrible as it is. But a cougar attack only happens in certain places and I was oblivious to the fact that we now live in one of these areas.

Like your Sockers, Zita was catching a mouse every night and depositing the "left-overs" on our kitchen floor. I don't like anything being killed, but the reason I originally got my cats after my earlier cat died of liver cancer was mouse infestation. I had tried everything humane possible with live traps and other contraptions, and then I was finding mouse turds in my housecoat pocket, on my food shelves and they ate my electrical wire. The last straw was when I put my jacket on and a mouse popped out of the sleeve! That was when I adopted Zita and Zeus. Zita was an excellent mouser, however I know that cats adapt to staying in at night when it becomes routine. I just so wish I could go back and change that one thing....

We have lost 3 pets in the last year and a half - my 17 year old dog Merlin who was my life mate and best friend, Tiffany, my husband's cat who was killed by the dog, and now Zita. It was tough with both of the last ones, but this one is torture. Merlin died of old age and it was tough but I had time to accept it. Tiffany was a total shock, but she was an independent cat and I had not known her for long. Zita was my "healing kitty". She gave me so much love. If I motioned to her she always came to me. I got so much positive energy from her.

I still can't believe she is gone.

Jan.

[Zita'sMom]

You might want to go to the Section called Death and Dying Pet Support and click on the topic "Eight Months Today..." by AlleysMom. Her cat caught what is known as Bobcat Fever. Please read up on this disease so at least you are aware it is out there. I would hate to have you lose your other one if you are in an area this could happen. The disease is called cytauxzoonosis and fatal to cats. Please read the story of Alley and also the topic her Mom put a link to with the name of this horrible disease.

Hello

I live on Vancouver Island in BC, Canada and I haven't heard of that disease here. We do have Cryptococcus which is just as much a human risk. And of course mice can carry disease. I know there are risks in cats being outdoors any time of day. I accept those risks to some degree because my cats love being outside. My main regret is lack of knowledge about cougars who are night predators and who have apparently taken lives of other neighbourhood cats here. If only the topic had come up in conversation with one of the neighbours - almost every neighbour had something to say about cougars when I dropped off the posters of Zita. There is always a risk with outdoor cats, but I could have minimized the risk by keeping her in at night. I blame myself for ignorance about wildlife in the area. I just had no idea and it has cost me Zita's life.

Jan.

[paris]

Hi Jan.

I'm so sorry to hear about Zita.

If what you think has happened is true, it is indeed horrible. From what i read, you are feeling extremely guilty. This is understandable. But Jan, you say again and again, you did not know about the cougars. You say no one ever talked about it until Zita went missing. You say, had you known, you would have acted differently. I know it is so frustrating, but you could not have known back then, and we all wish we could 'go back in time' to change certain events in our lives.

When my cat, Bennett, went missing, I was told that he was taken by a fisher cat. The thought of that nauseated me. Bennett, thank God, is lying here with me as I type.

Jan, there are debates about pros/cons of letting your cat outside. I am one who lets my cat out, knowing each time that there is a possibility that something might happen to him. There are also stories of people with indoor cats to whom things happen and die. You know the beauty of a cat being outdoors, even just to lie out on the back porch and breathe the air.

Paris.

[Zita'sMom]

....you did not know about the cougars. You say no one ever talked about it until Zita went missing. You say, had you known, you would have acted differently. I know it is so frustrating, but you could not have known back then, and we all wish we could 'go back in time' to change certain events in our lives....

....Jan, there are debates about pros/cons of letting your cat outside. I am one who lets my cat out, knowing each time that there is a possibility that something might happen to him. There are also stories of people with indoor cats to whom things happen and die. You know the beauty of a cat being outdoors, even just to lie out on the back porch and breathe the air.

Paris - thank you. Your empathetic words are appreciated because I still feel so responsible. I am so glad to here your Bennett was found - that is so wonderful. Because of where we live and the lack of housing nearby, I am pretty much positive Zita was taken by a cougar. I really spoke to every neighbour within a reasonable distance. There is very little traffic here and it's unlikely someone would have come and picked her up in the night. There really isn't any place she could go other than the residents I have spoken to already. I am just allowing myself my grief and slowly accepting that I have to get used to living without her.

I also appreciate your understanding about "the beauty of a cat being outdoors". My cats love being out on the farm and the many adventures that cats enjoy here. Yes there are pros and cons and I sympathize with those who decide not to let their cats out. I myself feel it important that Zita's brother Zeus still be allowed out during the day. I suppose at that time I could even get taken by a cougar - but that's unlikely as they are a far bigger risk from dusk to dawn.

I guess life is full of risks - this was just such a harsh way to learn about one of them....

thanks Paris.

Jan.