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> How Am I Supposed To Cope With This?, My Eloise has been missing for 1 week
Kristen823
post Aug 20 2009, 06:44 AM
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Group: Pet Lovers
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Joined: 19-August 09
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I apologize ahead of time for the length of my post but I really have to vent.

It has been one week to the day that I have seen Eloise. This time last week, Eloise was sleeping with me, as she always does. Half pushing me off the bed and not even caring to move even when almost rolling right over her to move myself around. She waited for me to wake up and get out of bed, again just as she always does. So it was just another day. Early in the afternoon the door was open at one point and she slipped out. Eloise is an indoor/outdoor cat and mainly likes to hang around my front or backyard just lounging in the sun on the grass or on the driveway. She has hopped some fences before and has ventured off, but only for a few hours. I became concerned as early as the same day when she still hadnt returned. It wasnt like her to not make an appearance at all during the day. I called to her most of the night but never heard or saw her. When I woke up friday morning around 5:30 I insinctively looked to my side and saw/felt she wasnt there. I started crying instantly because she hadnt been back. I threw my sneakers on and walked around the neighborhood calling to her..but nothing.

I just keep replaying last Thursday over and over again wondering what on earth could have happened. I know Eloise's personality and tendencies and am trying to think of likely scenerios. She is very skittish around strangers and HATES loud noises/voices or exessive activity so I'm not *that* worried about her venturing off to a busy road, near a construction site, or approaching other people. The most likely scenerios I can think of are that she was hurt somehow and crawled off somewhere or is stuck somewhere. The thing is, Eloise is VERY vocal. If she sees a cat she doesnt like, she screams and hisses like nobodies business. Her voice really carries. The day she went missing I was in and out of my house the whole day. When I was in the house all of my windows were open and I was in my yard most of the day too. I feel like if she were stuck somewhere, she absolutely would have meowed and I would have heard her. If she was hurt, I know that's a different story. But I also feel like she CAN'T be far. So where is my baby then??

I have been an absolute disaster since she went missing. The first 3 days I felt physically sick. I was nauseous and had a migrane that went all down my neck and into my jaw. I have not cried that hard or that frequently in I'm not sure how long. Every single day throughout the day, I cry so badly for that cat. I was in such a constant state of panic the first half of the week knowing that she could still be out there alive, needing my help. I desperately have gone all around my neighborhood shaking her treats calling to her and checking in some neighbors yards. I have stuck flyers in about 80 peoples mailboxes and have hung flyers on telephone poles in the area (I still have 4 more to hang but was just told I could be fined for doing it so now I'm not sure if I should remove the others although I REALLY don't want to) I have called a long list of vets in the area, and a bit beyond and have visited all of the local vets leaving them flyers and asking whether or not anyone has called about or brought in any cats. We surprisingly don't have any shelters or pounds anywhere near where but I faxed a flyer over to the one shelter that said they still accept cats. I have spoken to quite a few of my neighbors about this and they're all on the lookout too and one of my neighbors has been out looking also. I sleep downstairs with all of the windows open. On the rare occasion she would be out at night, she would always meow loudly to come back in. Woke me up from a dead sleep many times, even when I was upstairs I could still hear her.

I just don't know what else to do. I'm so depressed. Lately I feel like I can't even get out of bed. I don't want to be awake because to be awake makes me aware of the pain. But I still look for her every day. I have gotten a few phone calls from my flyers, but they didnt really go anywhere. A few cat people have called just to see whether or not she came home and let me know of "possible" sightings. But the cats they described were not my Eloise. My heart is aching not knowing where she is, what happened and obviously whether or not she's still alive.

Eloise is my baby. I have 4 other cats, ages 11-15. Eloise just turned 4 in July. I rescued her just a few months after one of my cats died. I wasnt planning on getting another cat because nothing could have ever replaced Papa (who was an indoor/outdoor cat who thankfully peacefully passed away in the safety of my home) who I grieved for SO much. But when a friend told me someone she knew found a litter of kittens, I really wanted to give at least one a home. It was a litter of all orange tabbies, except for Eloise. Eloise was the only brownish tabby of the bunch. The woman taking care of the kitten observed that Eloise was "neglected" by her siblings. They wouldnt play with her or sleep with her. That settled it. I had to take her. Orange tabbies always have my heart (I have one who is also the apple of my eye) but I was drawn to Eloise. She was meant to be mine. In the last 4 years I have obviously grown so attached to her. She is such a special cat I really can't even put it into words. I absolutely love her and what has been going on for the past week is really breaking me down. I cannot think of anything else, I don't want to do anything. All I think of is her and what could have happened and what I'm not doing. I hate myself for not being able to find her. I hate myself for letting her out to begin with. I fought so hard for a while to keep her indoors. She's only been going out for maybe a year and a half. I tried keeping her in one of those outdoor mesh cat tent/tunnel things which she managed to flip over and get out of anyway. I tried attaching a lead to her collar around the tree so she could still have the freedom to roam a bit, but she nearly choked herself trying to run away from the lead. Then she would lie flat as a pancake on the lawn because she wasnt sure what to make of the lead. She always flies to the backdoor the moment she hears anyone near it and has occasionally slipped out without anyone even seeing her. She just LOVES to be outside and eventually she built up my trust to let her out. She loved to be inside 80% of the time but she so badly wanted her fresh air time just a couple of hours a day if that, and I eventually granted that to her. I should have found another way. Even if this is what she really wanted to do, nothing is worth losing her or having her in any amount of pain.

I was just looking at Eloise the other day and said to my mother "You know, I'm probably going to have this cat when I'm in my 40's!" I so believed I had all the time in the world with her and she was going to live forever. I just cannot imagine my life without her. I feel sick knowing she's out there alone and is/was scared, hurt or who knows what else. I have dealt with pet loss numerous times, all heart wrenching, all of whom I still think of frequently and miss. But this is something I have never had to deal with before. A lost/missing pet was always one of my greatest fears. And now I'm dealing with it with my poor girl Eloise! The one who is constantly under my feet and always around causing some kind of mischief. She has such a unique personality, I really have never had a cat quite like her. I am so protective of her and all of my pets and it kills me to think that she could be stuck somewhere or hurt wondering why I havent come for her. I let her down and I am so sorry I will never forgive myself. I don't know how to cope with this at all. This is truly an ongoing nightmare. I was eventually able to find peace with my other pets who have passed away because they were all elderly and I knew what happened. Eloise is just a baby and she could be anywhere, dead or alive. I am so discouraged and realize that every day that passes means it's less and less likely she'll come home. But I can't give up yet. I don't know HOW she could come home at this point, but I keep hoping that somehow, by some miracle she's going to find her way back. As hard as it is to accept that she was possibly only meant to have 4 years on this earth, I can come to terms with that in one way or another some day. But I need her to come home. I don't want her to die alone or to suffer in pain and fear. That's too much to handle. If she has to die, she HAS to be home. She just has to be. But I can't find her. I'm at a loss. I feel so helpless and lost and alone. I have that constant burn of dread and anxiety all in my arms and chest. I just feel so unsettled. I miss my girl so desperately. I miss calling her by her silly nicknames. I miss seeing her sleeping on my bed on her back with all 4 paws in the air. I miss her "prrrreowing" outside the bathroom door and then eventually pushing it open and lying in the sink while I'm in the shower. I miss her "talking" to me in the middle of the night waiting for me to respond before hopping into bed with me. I miss her pulling herself along the bottom of the stairs, chasing the dog, lying on the computer moniter, meowing almost sadly next to me until I paid her attention and finally picked her up (usually while I'm on the computer have have to hold her with one arm and type with the other) I just miss everything!! All of my memories are still so vivid, and yet it feels like she's been gone for weeks, if not months. I just don't know how to get through this. How can you find peace when you never know what happened? I feel like I'm never going to be able to recover from this. Either way, this is going to change me in some way.

On top of everything, August 23 will be/would have been her 4 year anniversary. So she disappeared exactly 10 days before her anniversary. I still remember the exact day I brought her home. Hundreds of pictures have accumulated over that time, but I'd give them all up if I had to, just to have her home safe again :-(

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I know this was very long. And please, please, please say prayers for her safe return. I have to still believe that this isnt the end.
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Sassy Girl
post Aug 20 2009, 10:53 AM
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Group: Pet Lovers
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Joined: 15-January 08
Member No.: 4,269



Have looked around garageds. She might have gotten into somone garage and they have left on vacation.

I had a friend that there cat got out and someone told them to put out somtthing that the like to lay on that was yours so it have your sent on it. It worked for them. It took a couple of day's that cat would come and lay on but was so scared that when they saw it the would run away but the cat go smart and came walking through the door.

I know a week might feel like forever but cat's have a good sent and she was used to being outside in your yard she know's your sent and home.

Good luck hopefully she will be hoging the bed real soon.


Take Care
Sandy
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petmum
post Aug 20 2009, 07:01 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
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From: Sydney Australia
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Dear Krister823

I will pray for you.
elaine xx
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sissycat
post Aug 20 2009, 10:44 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 669
Joined: 8-June 08
From: Lindsay, Oklahoma
Member No.: 4,783



Never give up hope for one thing!!!!
I will be send hope, hugs, and prayers for her safe return.

I would like to share this with you--I will keep it short. I have a cat that has gone missing/taken from my home twice. She was returned both times after people saw my flyers. The first time she was gone for 2 weeks before I got the call. She was in another town nearby. This lady's kids had put her in the back of her camper and snuck her to their home. 2nd time she was gone for 7 days before a family called me.

Just never give up.

Keep us posted!!!!

Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Kristen823
post Aug 21 2009, 08:02 AM
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[Thanks guys. I'm just so discouraged and upset. I got desperate so I contacted the animal communicator Hilary Renaissance who was mentioned on this website a couple of times. I spoke to her on the phone and she told me that Eloise is still alive. Maybe within a 2 block radius but there's an aggressive tomcat thats keeping her from coming home. Like a territorial type of thing, almost like there's a line she won't cross and it's keeping her from coming home. She gave me some vague details describing the house and lawn Eloise supposedly saw/is seeing but my neighborhood is HUGE and any of the houses could fit the description. I asked the woman if Eloise has heard me calling her and she said that Eloise didnt hear me. I don't know if this woman was right about Eloise or not, but last night at least I felt better and had renewed hope. But today I woke up again with that same sinking feeling. Even if what that woman said is true, how am I supposed to find her? I've been out calling her and shaking her treats. Most likely Eloise is not going to come running out whether or not she hears or sees me, especially if something is scaring her. I feel like if she really isnt hurt or worse, she's going to come home on her own terms. But I still can't accept that. I want to find her, and I want to find her NOW. This is driving me insane!!

I'm not giving up though. I'm still going to continue to walk the blocks and call to her. I just feel like I'm going in circles though because she could be anywhere by now. No one is responding to my flyers. No one has seen or heard anything. If an aggressive tomcat is supposedly harrassing her, and she's only a couple of blocks away I would have heard Eloise screeching or howling. She's a noisy girl and when she sees a cat she doesnt know she screams. But since she's been gone, it's been dead quiet at night. I would recognize her meows any day, but I havent heard anything. Another reason I feel like this "aggressive tomcat" scenerio might not be right. Oh well, I realized it might be a waste of money but I took the chance anyway because I really don't care about the money. I only care about finding my cat and I'll do anything at this point to find her.
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jacksmom
post Aug 26 2009, 11:04 PM
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From: alabama
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QUOTE (Kristen823 @ Aug 21 2009, 08:02 AM) *
[Thanks guys. I'm just so discouraged and upset. I got desperate so I contacted the animal communicator Hilary Renaissance who was mentioned on this website a couple of times. I spoke to her on the phone and she told me that Eloise is still alive. Maybe within a 2 block radius but there's an aggressive tomcat thats keeping her from coming home. Like a territorial type of thing, almost like there's a line she won't cross and it's keeping her from coming home. She gave me some vague details describing the house and lawn Eloise supposedly saw/is seeing but my neighborhood is HUGE and any of the houses could fit the description. I asked the woman if Eloise has heard me calling her and she said that Eloise didnt hear me. I don't know if this woman was right about Eloise or not, but last night at least I felt better and had renewed hope. But today I woke up again with that same sinking feeling. Even if what that woman said is true, how am I supposed to find her? I've been out calling her and shaking her treats. Most likely Eloise is not going to come running out whether or not she hears or sees me, especially if something is scaring her. I feel like if she really isnt hurt or worse, she's going to come home on her own terms. But I still can't accept that. I want to find her, and I want to find her NOW. This is driving me insane!!

I'm not giving up though. I'm still going to continue to walk the blocks and call to her. I just feel like I'm going in circles though because she could be anywhere by now. No one is responding to my flyers. No one has seen or heard anything. If an aggressive tomcat is supposedly harrassing her, and she's only a couple of blocks away I would have heard Eloise screeching or howling. She's a noisy girl and when she sees a cat she doesnt know she screams. But since she's been gone, it's been dead quiet at night. I would recognize her meows any day, but I havent heard anything. Another reason I feel like this "aggressive tomcat" scenerio might not be right. Oh well, I realized it might be a waste of money but I took the chance anyway because I really don't care about the money. I only care about finding my cat and I'll do anything at this point to find her.



Kristen,

I understand what you are feeling, my cat has been missing for over two months now. I also contacted Hilary and she said that Jack 'told' her that he went into a hole or a crawlspace and hasn't come out for a long time, as in, he is either unconscious or dead. I almost fainted.

She also gave me vague details of the house he saw, the cars nearby, the neatly tended green grass around him, etc. It was hard to look for him either way.

I know what you are going through. I still feel the same way and I also want my cat home so badly. I think I've cried literally a bucket over the loss. I've tried everything to find him. I just haven't gotten to the acceptance stage yet, where I will have to come to terms with never seeing him again.

I'm not trying to discourage you, because I still do carry hope with me. You must have hope. Pray about it, and I truly hope your baby comes home soon.

My prayers will be with you throughout this. Feel free to come here as much as you like to vent.

Linda
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magdalene
post Aug 27 2009, 10:13 PM
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I am so sorry for what you're going through. I had a cat go missing a couple years ago, and we never did find her. We'd only had her for a couple months at the time, but she was very important to me. My cat Eileen had died not that long ago, and then Heidi just showed up one day. I felt like she had come to help me get over Eileen or something. I did all the things you have been doing but never did find her. I still worry about what happened to her. I really hope Heidi found another good home somehow. I know how hard it is not knowing.

Magdalene


--------------------
Weep not for me,
as I sleep peacefully,
and I have known much love.
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mmstates
post Aug 31 2009, 02:56 PM
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I am feeling very sad also for the loss of my sweet girl Priscilla who went missing almost 2 weeks ago. She and her friend Princess were indoor/outdoor cats but in the evening we always brought Priscilla in, Princess just did her own thing and would ignore us half the time preferring to play in the fields near our house. Priscilla was a big black medium hair kitty who was so sweet and funny. I adopted her 4 years ago after seeing her at the animal shelter and than at the Petco. She slept on my side every night and would sit on the bathtub each morning waiting for her water and just chatting to me. She was a huge support to me when I lost my 17 year old kitty last November due to illness. Priscilla assumed the head position on the bed and became my buddy. She loved to sit next to me (or on me) when I was home working or just watching tv. Even though we have a busy household with kids and she was a little scared of commotion I could always count on having her come lay next to me at night time. I sure miss this kitty and am having a lot of grief over her disappearance. Much more than when my 17 year old kitty died because at least I got to be there and hold her as she passed and I had been expecting it to happen for weeks. With Priscilla she just vanished. I was home with her that day and then at night she was outside and brought in around 9 pm and then somehow got out of the garage when my husband got home later that evening. He never even knew she got out and I didn't know it until I was getting ready for bed and didn't see her in her usual place. I'm really sad and it's hard to talk about it with people who think it's just a cat and not worth being depressed over.
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petmum
post Aug 31 2009, 05:37 PM
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dear mmstates,
I'm glad you came here to share your sadness. I haven't had a pet run away though I did have to have my Buddy of 14yrs put to sleep in June this year.
They are never "just" animals, they are our companions whom love us unconditonally & whom we love & have the right to be upset or depressed over when they go, how ever that comes about.
Grief is grief & if you have truly bonded with an animal then it is right that you grieve, you have lost something so special that only those of us that hve been loved in that way truly understand the full impact of their leaving.
I will pray for you that you are able to get closure, whether it be Priscilla's safe return or not. This is a very difficult thing to process. Come here as often as you need to, we all understand "loss". And to everyone of us on this site that is the reason we are here because they ARE NOT just animals.
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mmstates
post Sep 1 2009, 12:56 AM
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Thank you for your response petmum, it's nice (but unfortunate) to know that people understand what these feelings are like. It's such a painful feeling to know that I'll never see my Priscilla again. Both my sisters said it helped them to get new kitties from shelters but I can't help but feel a little guilty and also worried that I might still be very sad even after adopting a new kitty because Priscilla will still be gone. I need to get through this, I hate being so sad.
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petmum
post Sep 1 2009, 02:32 AM
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yep sad is a place we all want to run from that's for sure.
your are in my thoughts.
elaine
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ScramblesMom
post Oct 7 2010, 01:18 PM
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My indoor/outdoor cat Scrambles went missing 4 days ago. Thank you so much for your post I am crying and crying reading it. My Scrambles is a rescue kitty just over 2 years ago my kids brought her to me she was maybe 3 weeks old. I had just put my dog to sleep the winter before and said no more pets but I couldn't let her die. She is my animal companion and so similar in behaviour to your kitty she just can't stay inside all the time I tired so hard but she looooooves it outside. She is the cuddliest cat and also loves the sink when I'm in the bathroom. I am crazy with grief and physically & emotionally exhausted from everything we've been doing and going through the past 4 days to find her. Its like life has changed completely in the space of a day, and won't ever be the same. I worry she is also stuck, injured, displaced. I live in a very populated area. So many things coudl have happened. Few people understand what this is like and many 'friends' are like... it's been 3 days you won't find her now' or 'just wait till she comes back' and two friends in particular are very angry with me that I won't come see them this weekend... they live 4 hours away. There is no way I'm even going anywhere that I do not absolutely have to go. They keep leaving me messages about coming up. I can't help but hate them right now. I am sick today, I think from exhaustion and of course the day she leaves it started raining and it rained for the past 4 days... it almost never rains here. I hope that contributed to her being away and hope that with the weather clearing it will contribute to her coming back. Every muscle hurts from walking for hours and hours at night. I don't care about anything but her coming back. I just want to say thank you so much for your post, It helped so much to read it, and I want you to know I completely understand everything you said and my heart aches for you and yr kitty and I hope you are together again and I hope that day is soon. I let my kitty out mid-day on a Sunday which I usually would wait until night... I think about that moment over and over and over. Is it because of that something happened. Should I have made her be an indoor cat. All you feel I feel and I'm sure other's feel. You are not alone in this, there are a bunch of us right there with you. Thank you for sharing your story. - Anna
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