My Sweet Wolfie Is Gone And I'm Devastated Options

[Kellyt]

Hi again Laura,
Just thought I'd separate my replies to give you a break from reading As you wrote to me, please know that I want to read your stories. I'm sorry for your regret, and as you know I'm all too familiar with that. (Well I guess most or all of us are.) Your visit from Zeus brought tears to my eyes, as you had the opportunity to ask for his forgiveness, which I'm sure you would have regardless. (Not that I think you did anything wrong, but I can understand the feeling of guilt.) Zeus knows you love him more than words can describe, and that you saying goodbye at the house does not change that at all. I hope you don't mind me giving my opinion, but you showed Zeus nothing but love in his final hours, taking pictures and video, helping him into the car. You were also probably in shock, which perhaps made the whole experience surreal.
Ensuring that Zena was able to pass on in the comfort of her own home was the selfless act of a loving parent. The relief that showed in her eyes is evidence that she passed on free of pain, feeling the love of her family. What you wrote about guilt being something we impose upon ourselves really struck me; I never looked at it quite that way. It does make total sense. Thank you for sharing those thoughts.
My hope is that over time, we can learn to forgive ourselves and fully realize that above all, we love our babies and made the best decisions we could, with nothing but love in our hearts.
Hugs,
Kelly

[Kellyt]

Pippin's Mom Kel,
I truly cannot thank you enough for your reply. Thank you for taking the time you did to address each concern and feeling of regret or guilt. As you know, this experience is traumatic and can be very, very lonely, even if others in your life are grieving the loss too. Your replies help me feel a measure of validation and peace and help ease the loneliness (as all the replies do), and while I am overwhelmed by grief and pain, I am also overwhelmed by gratitude.
I hope to get to a point where I can begin to let go of the guilt. As you so wisely wrote, I did the best I could with what I knew. He wasn't showing any signs of illness before other than the very occasional bout of diarrhea, and we always thought it was just a blip, that he had sensitive stomach, as it would typically happen once and then get better. I think what helps the most is if we had a clue that something may have been brewing (but I do believe that this was more a case of acute pancreatitis) of course we would have done anything and everything to help him. If we thought in any way that this could be fatal, I would have done ANYTHING to help him. Anything. I have to believe he knows that. Thank you for sharing your extensive medical knowledge too. I shared your thoughts with my husband and they brought him some relief as well.
Your thoughts about it being somehow easier to blame ourselves for the sudden loss rather than come to terms with the fact that sometimes tragic and awful things happen that are out of our control are very thought provoking. I never viewed things that way, but it makes sense. Total sense. I so appreciate your viewpoint.
Please send good thoughts my way as I venture out to work tomorrow. I love teaching fifth grade, but it is draining on the very best of days. I'm scared, but will try to take baby steps for now.
In deepest gratitude,
Kelly

[Kellyt]

Dear moon_beam,

Thank you so very much for your continued support; I so appreciate everything you've written. Our journeys are filled with grief, overwhelming pain, and at times the worst sorrow, but to have the support of people who unfortunately understand all too well how it feels helps ease the pain in my heart and soul. Thank you for validating everything that I'm feeling, and for continually reassuring me that this is part of the process, one of adjusting to a new reality. One we have not chosen, but one in which we still have the love of our precious companions.
Having found this forum and all of you is a real blessing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Gratefully,
Kelly

[Kellyt]

So yesterday was brutal. It marked one week since Wolfie first became sick, so I found myself continually saying things like "a week ago at this time he ate his last meal" and on and on all day. We took a little drive to get out, but all that did was make me sadder, as it reminded me of the last drive like that we took with Wolfie, just hopped in the car together and drove. So many firsts still.
This morning is a little better so far, but I know by now to TRY to take each moment as it comes. To try not to be terrified when the lowest of lows hit. I've been noticing that, in the tiniest of increments, I am starting to adjust to the absence of Wolfie's physical presence here and there. Walking by his food bowl doesn't always make me want to scream out. His bed being turned on its side toward the wall (so the cats don't lie on it) isn't quite as shocking. I occasionally sit still when the mailman comes without thinking Wolfie's going to run to the door to say "hello". Those moments hurt too though. Like we really are losing him all over again when we adjust to his physical absence. It's like part of me desperately wants to adjust to his absence, and part of me desperately wants to hold on to his physical presence, the most vivid and everyday memories of him. I don't want to lose those precious memories, those precious feelings. It's like my head and my heart are on two different pages sometimes.
There are so many moments where it is still so raw. Like yesterday when the appliance repairman asked if we have any dogs because he's afraid of them. Answering with a no wasn't enough. I had to say, no he just died. Total kick to the gut, and left me bawling. Then when he showed up at the house, I almost stood up to get Wolfie to bring him into the yard. Surreal and oh so heartbreaking.
Tomorrow I enter the "real world" again. Tomorrow also marks a week since Wolfie passed on. I've already asked my husband to wave me off at the door in the morning. Think it might help ease the pain of not seeing Wolfie's face in the window. I don't know. I've also told a couple of colleagues, and even if they don't really get it, if I have a moment where I need a minute to myself, they can try to help out. Baby steps. That's all I can do. That and pray Wolfie helps give me the strength to get through, like he always did.

A huge heartfelt thank you to everyone who has replied to my posts and my pain, and I wish everyone some measure of peace and comfort, knowing that our precious babies/companions are with us.

-Kelly

[moon_beam]

Hi, Kelly, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Baby steps - - indeed - - one small step at a time. There will be times even further down the road in your grief adjustment journey when you may be hit "out of the blue" with overwhelming grief. One of our forum correspondents described it so well in one of her topics, "just when I think things are getting better . . " Now as a senior citizen I sometimes think of all my precious little companions I have enjoyed throughout my life who have been with the angels for many decades, and I can still become very misty sometimes when I think of them. The good news is that the further you progress in your grief journey, the less paralyzing the moments of deep sorrow become.

I assure you, Kelly, that as your deep grief eases you will NEVER forget your beloved Wolfie. As your grief eases you will have more room in your heart to embrace the living eternal love you and your beloved Wolfie share. And even though years down the road you may be thinking of your beloved Wolfie and a mist comes to your eyes because you still miss his precious physical presence, your heart will be comforted with your enduring eternal love.

One of the hardest things we are faced with during our grief adjustment journey, and particularly during the deep grief, is having to put on what I call the "public face" to try to disguise the seering pain of sorrow that feels like it has a stranglehold on our hearts and daily life. I remember all too well being thankful for the privacy of the restroom at work where I could make a retreat to try to regain some composure so that I could go back to my desk to continue my work. And the drives to and from work accompanied with gut-wrenching sobbing - - flooding tears that poured out the deepest sorrow and pain of grieving. Just remember that anyone who cannot extend compassion to someone who is grieving a loss - - for whatever reason - - is the one who needs the pity.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Kelly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Wolfie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Kellyt]

One week ago today, sweetest angel. The day my life was changed forever. The day the sun stopped shining. The day my world seemed to crumble. All my old worries and fears are back with a vengeance. Just when I thought I was going to be ok...the universe decides it's time for you to go. The guilt is still crushing me, sweetheart. I know it will take time. I need to read this thread over and over to help me.
I miss you so much it hurts, I love you so much, and I pray that you know how much I treasured you, and how I took the responsibility of having your life in my hands very seriously.
Loving you always and forever, sweetest, most beautiful boy. XOXOXO

[Chandanimane]

Hi Kelly,

It's perfectly fine, please don't worry about it. There is no way anyone can tell a dog's gender from pictures. It's understandable. I took your suggestion and started another thread under Pet Memorials, Tributes and Eulogies in which I posted more pictures of Zeus and Zena. I imagine I posted so many of them that I might get a notice of warning of taking up too much bandwidth or something. How amazing about the sunlight shining through your window and the Golden Girls coming on TV twice by coincidence Those are the kinds of signs I'm talking about. Maybe that's Wolfie's way of trying to get you to cheer you up and letting you know that he's doing alright. I hope you found some solace in that.

Thank you so much for your encouraging words regarding Zeus and Zena. We both know all about the feeling of knowing you did everything you could, but still feeling like you didn't do enough. It helps to be reminded of all that we did for them and what it meant to both us and to them.

I hope your reentrance into the working world is going well and that it hasn't been as painful you've been anticipating. Except for one day when I had almost lost control, work has actually served as a distraction from the grief. The day I almost broke down at work, I had Zena's picture up on Facebook. I decided not to do that again. I won't intentionally do anything that might weaken my resolve to keep functioning at a normal level. It will get easier. Like you said, baby steps, one day at a time.

Wishing you the best,

Laura

Dear Laura,
Please forgive me for confusing your dogs' names. I'm normally a detail-oriented person; my brain isn't clear right now. I'm so sorry. Zena and Zeus are both so beautiful; I'd love to see more pictures if that's ok (or I can check your profile??). It's clear from your words that you were (and are) so devoted to both of them, and it's also clear that they felt and cherished every ounce of that unending love. Thank you so much for sharing your stories to help me. It is so beautiful and such a blessing that you've been able to touch both Zeus's and Zena's fur in your dreams; no doubt you will cherish those visits forever. It definitely sounds like Zena was trying to tell you that you made the right decision, a very difficult one but one that reflects all the love in your heart for her.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts regarding Wolfie's visit to my parents. I too hope for more. I did actually have something happen the other day that I've been thinking about. It's been intermittently cloudy and sunny these past few days, mostly cloudy. When I walked into the kitchen, I noticed the sun shining on the floor, right near Wolfie's food bowls. ( We haven't put them away yet.) As I walked to the window, I noticed bright rays of sun shining through all the clouds in the sky, heading right toward me. Wow. I'm realizing now that was probably him. Another interesting thing happened on the same day. I had some very sad songs playing over and over in my mind, and I wanted to distract myself a bit, so I kept humming the theme song from The Golden Girls-for some reason, I've always found that show to be funny yet comforting. So, coincidence or not, twice that day, when I turned on the tv (without paying attention to what time it was), The Golden Girls was on, right at the beginning theme song. Wow again. It took writing this to fully realize what happened.

Hi again Laura,
Just thought I'd separate my replies to give you a break from reading wink.gif As you wrote to me, please know that I want to read your stories. I'm sorry for your regret, and as you know I'm all too familiar with that. (Well I guess most or all of us are.) Your visit from Zeus brought tears to my eyes, as you had the opportunity to ask for his forgiveness, which I'm sure you would have regardless. (Not that I think you did anything wrong, but I can understand the feeling of guilt.) Zeus knows you love him more than words can describe, and that you saying goodbye at the house does not change that at all. I hope you don't mind me giving my opinion, but you showed Zeus nothing but love in his final hours, taking pictures and video, helping him into the car. You were also probably in shock, which perhaps made the whole experience surreal.
Ensuring that Zena was able to pass on in the comfort of her own home was the selfless act of a loving parent. The relief that showed in her eyes is evidence that she passed on free of pain, feeling the love of her family. What you wrote about guilt being something we impose upon ourselves really struck me; I never looked at it quite that way. It does make total sense. Thank you for sharing those thoughts.
My hope is that over time, we can learn to forgive ourselves and fully realize that above all, we love our babies and made the best decisions we could, with nothing but love in our hearts.
Hugs,
Kelly

[Kellyt]

Hi Laura,
How are you? Thank you for your reply. I'm happy that you posted more pics of Zeus and Zena; will definitely have to go look.

Thanks for your thoughts about what I think were Wolfie's visits. I agree; think he was trying to comfort me. I also agree that it does help to try to think about all that we did for our babies, and all that it meant to us, and to them.

Thank you for your kind words regarding going back to work. People were so supportive and loving, especially my fellow animal lovers. It actually felt good to share what happened and get it out some more. It's funny; normally I'm fairly quiet, but there are times when I feel the need to talk and talk about Wolfie's passing. I guess it's me trying to process it all.

All in all, an ok day, considering it's been one week today. Being busier helped, as does having a good cry, talking to Wolfie, and so importantly, writing it all down here. I need to try to remember these small breaks from paralyzing grief, these times where I can catch my breath. Thank you again for all your support. I so appreciate everything.

Hugs,
Kelly

[moon_beam]

Hi, Kelly, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I'm glad that going back to work was not a traumatic transition for you. Having a job during a time of crisis or grief can be a "positive".

In response to your topic about enduring all the "firsts" - - this is very painful both emotionally and physically. Even though it seems like you are "adjusting" to his physical absence there will be times when you will reach out to touch your beloved Wolfie - - or you may go to the back door only to remember that he no longer needs you to open the door for him - - or you'll think you will need to renew his county license tag - - and you will feel like there is no end to this painful grief. But I promise you, Kelly, that eventually your deep grief will ease - - BUT you will NEVER forget your beloved Wolfie. He will NEVER be "erased" from your heart or your memories. I promise you that your beloved Wolfie IS forever a part of you no matter how much time continues with your earthly journey.

Kelly, I hope today is treating you kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Wolfie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Kellyt]

Dear moon_beam,
Thank you for your very comforting words. The thought of Wolfie as a Living Spirit is especially comforting, and yet somewhat bittersweet, as I of course want his physical presence here. I do have faith that eventually, the part that is "sweet" will be more of what I think about, and knowing that Wolfie is forever a part of me does help. I feel him here. I do.
Our precious babies came into all of our lives for very special reasons. Wolfie found his way to us and changed our lives forever. We are beyond blessed that he chose us.

Wishing you and Noah a wonderful weekend.

-Kelly

[Kellyt]

Two weeks ago today my world was changed forever. It seems as though the pain will never ease. I'm desperate for some relief, but also want to hold on to the vivid memories. Is it possible to have both? The memories without the awful pain and loneliness? At this point, no. I pray it will get easier. Right now it feels like it's getting harder.

Yesterday I had some repair work done on my car and needed a ride from my husband. As I waited in front of the dealership, it occurred to me that he will never come to pick me up with Wolfie in the car again, that I'll never see his smiling face in the back of the car. I began sobbing, standing there on the side of the road, raw with grief. The hits just keep coming; weekends are especially hard. Being at home is both comforting and so very painful. Memories everywhere, reminders that he is gone (at least physically). I do think Wolfie has visited, like when I could swear I felt him come through the door when my husband opened it, or when I was planting flowers for Wolfie yesterday, and it seemed as though the sun was a spotlight, shining right on me.

I try to do things that will help. Planted daffodils in his memory. Ordered a journal to record anything and everything. Posting here and reading the supportive replies. Knowing that people here understand all too well makes me feel less alone. I try to remember that this is a roller coaster, and that it will take time, but I get scared when a new day brings new lows.



Missing you every second of every minute, every minute of every hour, and every hour of every day, my sweet Wolfie.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Kelly, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. My heart aches with yours as you travel your grief adjustment journey. I do so understand how you're feeling when you share with us: "Being at home is both comforting and so very painful. Memories everywhere, reminders that he is gone (at least physically). I get scared when a new day brings new lows."

Right now, Kelly, this deep grief sorrow does seem like it will never end - - like the minutes, hours, days will not get better. Please let me try to offer you reassurance that one day when you least expect it you WILL find that the deep sorrow in your heart is not quite so painful - - not quite so unbearable. One day when you least expect it you will find yourself thinking of your beloved Wolfie and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - even though there may still be a mist come to your eyes.

Things that used to bring enjoyment to our lives now seem empty - - meaningless - - without purpose during the very deep grief. Life continues - - bills get paid, groceries are purchased (which is also a painful reminder when you no longer need to get that special treat or food or toy), laundry gets done, jobs get done - - but it feels like life is on what I call "automatic pilot." This is our mind's and body's natural "survival mechanism" to help us endure through the very deep grief for however long we need this protection.

It is also very natural that as the holidays approach you may find your deep sorrow intensify. Please let me try to offer you reassurance that this, too, is very normal. What is supposed to be the "most wonderful time of the year" can in reality be the "most horrible time of the year" when your heart is breaking with sorrow. With all the flurry of activity and social gatherings it is important that you give yourself the private time you need to still grieve for your beloved Wolfie.

And once again I promise you, Kelly, that one day you WILL find that the deep pain in your heart is not so overwhelming. And you WILL be able to once again greet the day with a happy heart.

But until this time comes for you, Kelly, please know each of us are here for you, with you, and beside you through every step of your grief adjustment journey. We are here to share the difficult days, the not so bad days, and the days when you feel like your heart can no longer bear the deep seering pain of sorrow and loss. By our individual selves this grief journey would be more than any of us could handle. Together we can find the strength and encouragement to endure one more minute, one more hour, one more day.

Kelly, I hope today is treating you kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Wolfie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Treebyrd]

Hi Kelly! Wolfe was a beautiful boy! I'm so very sorry for your loss. I lost my Silas unexpectantly at the age of 5. I went to a family reunion out of town. I left him in great hands but less than 18 hous after I said goodbye for what I thought was the weekend....he was gone. My husband and son laid him to rest before they told me. He passed while I was at the reunion and my guys didn't want to tell me at that time. had I known I would have requested a necropsy. I blame nobody but because of the circumstances (no one was home when Silas passed) I will never know what happened. I can only guess. I can't believe he's gone....not even 4 months later! I've wished many, many times that I would have spent more time saying goodbye. I was only going for 48 hours! I was running behind on getting on the road so my goodbye was brief. I wish I had skipped the reunion. I'm still devistated! Still cry everyday. Last week I had to let my 14+ year old basset hound go. Also devastating but he wasn't young. I knew it was coming. Still hard...but not as hard as loosing a seemingly vibrant, healthy & young puppy dog. Know that because you loved Wolfie so much....you did everything in you power for him. Wolfie knew he was loved.

Warmest regards,

Treebyrd

[Kellyt]

Moon_beam,
Thank you so much once again for your extremely kind and comforting words. I am so grateful for your guidance and insight; your support has helped ease my fears and worries. Yes, automatic pilot is what's helping me put one foot in front of the other right now. I do have faith that the intense pain and shock will lessen and that love is stronger than anything else.

I hope you are well, and that you are experiencing the peace and comfort that you bring to so many others.

With gratitude,
Kelly

[Kellyt]

Hi Treebyrd,
Thank you so much for your very kind words. Wolfie definitely did know he was loved. I'm trying to focus now on that more than anything else. It's hard sometimes, but I try.
I'm so sorry about Silas and your Bassett hound; my heart goes out to you. To lose Silas so unexpectedly is so heartbreaking and devastatingly sad. It's so hard to feel cheated out of a goodbye, out of years spent loving a cherished family member well into old age. I think focusing on the love helps, at least eventually. I'm sure Silas and your Bassett Hound know how incredibly loved they are, and they're watching over you, loving you right back. That is something that can never be taken away.

Hugs to you,
Kelly

[moon_beam]

Hi, Kelly, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Love is a growing, thriving, living presence in our lives - - whether or not we are physically with the ones we love - - whoever the life form. Even though it may not feel like it right now, Kelly, I promise you the love bond you and your beloved Wolfie will be as strong - - if not stronger - - 50 years from now as it is at this moment in time. I promise you, Kelly, that nothing in heaven or on earth can ever diminish the eternal love you and your beloved Wolfie share.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Kelly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Wolfie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Kellyt]

Thank you so much, moon_beam. Every single word of your replies is so comforting, and I do believe in everything you write. I'm finding that I need to be patient and accept that this is a huge adjustment, and that it is going to take time. A lifetime, in fact.

I hope you and Noah had a wonderful weekend.

Best wishes always,
Kelly

[Kellyt]

Tomorrow will be three weeks since Wolfie died. The weekends are the hardest, as I have more time on my hands, and because I relive the events of the weekend I took Wolfie to the hospital, and when life as I know it began to suddenly unravel.

I know grieving is hard work, but I'm starting to feel tired and worn down. I feel worse lately, and am trying not to panic and think that the grief will never ease. Lately, it does feel like this darkness that casts a shadow over my life will never fully lift.
I sometimes feel consumed by the pain, especially when I notice that I had a brief moment or two, when at work or when I force myself to keep plans with friends, where I can catch my breath before I go under again.

Certain emotions that I thought I had begun to resolve have popped up again. I thought I was getting over the guilt, but it's back with a vengeance. I thought I had begun to heal from the circumstances of his death, but I find that I am bitter about the fact that he died before old age. We were only able to love Wolfie for four of his approx 6 years on this earth. We weren't able to give him the gift of passing at home, with us by his side holding him and reassuring him, telling him how much we love him, and thanking him for coming into our lives and for being the sweetest, most loving dog. The last face he saw was a stranger's. He passed on a cold operating table. It's not fair. He deserved so much more.

I'm angry that just as life begins to settle down and make some sense, tragedy and trauma strike. Again and again now, it seems. I'm having great difficulty with remembering the positive, as hard as I try.

I hope my words don't offend anyone. Please know that I don't mean to say that having to decide to help ease a beloved pet's suffering is any easier; I just wish we could have been there when Wolfie passed. While I know we are so blessed to have had him in our lives for any amount of time, and that others have gone through far worse, the pain I'm feeling over the way he went is really getting to me. How do I honor that pain and then begin to put it behind me?

Keeping all of you in my thoughts tonight, and wishing all of you peace.

-Kelly

[moon_beam]

Hi, Kelly, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please permit me to try to offer you some words of comfort and encouragement.

Kelly, three weeks is hardly any sufficient time for you to even begin to think that the deep sorrow of your grief journey "should be" easing. In fact it is right about now that your heart and mind begin the process of both emotionally and intellectually understanding the depth of the sorrow you are rightfully experiencing in the physical absence of your beloved Wolfie. Clinical professionals universally recognize that the first year of our grief journey is extremely difficult because our minds and bodies and hearts are undergoing a tremendous physical and emotional adjustment. One of our forum correspondents summed up the adjustment journey very well in one of her topics titled, "just when I think I'm doing okay . . . ".

Our grief adjustment journey is not a straight line by any stretch of the imagination - - it is more like a graphic chart of the stock market - - many ups and downs -- some small and some very drastic. But I promise you, Kelly, that one day when you least expect it you will begin to find yourself in a calmer, more stable place where you can think of your beloved Wolfie and will notice that the sorrow in your heart has eased. You WILL come to a time when one day is better and then the next and the next - - and you will begin to find a new stability in your life. But it is just going to take time for you to come to this place in your grief adjustment journey.

Many years ago I experienced a very life changing traumatic event. During the early adjustment journey for me in trying to put my life back together as best as I could there were people around me who were telling me "it could have been worse." This was insulting to me because they failed to acknowledge the depth of my sorrow and the permanent effects the traumatic event already had on my life. So please do NOT measure your grief by what others may be or are going through, Kelly. YOU have a right to your feelings, and you have a right to have your feelings validated and comforted. Anyone who does not understand this needs to step back from you right now so that you can be surrounded by others who DO understand and are able to offer you the comfort, support, encouragement, and hope you need as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

You ask a universal question in times of great sorrow: "How do I honor that pain and then begin to put it behind me?" First I want to tell you that you will probably never entirely put the sorrow of losing your beloved Wolfie's physical presence behind you. This "theory" of "moving on" and "closure" was developed when professional counselors in this country initially began talking and writing about the stages of grief as hospice care began to be offered. These words conjure up the fears of "forgetting" our loved ones - - whoever the life form -- and I assure you, Kelly, that you will NEVER forget your beloved Wolfie. This grief journey is one of ADJUSTMENT to the physical absence of your beloved Wolfie.

Your goal is about honoring your beloved Wolfie as you continue on with your earthly journey - - not the pain of losing his physical presence. And the reality is you are already honoring him by enduring each day to the best of your ability right now - - and will continue to honor him as the deep sorrow of not having his sweet precious physical presence begins to ease - - BECAUSE you will ALWAYS have his sweet Living Spirit with you in your heart and your memories - - your beloved Wolfie is ALWAYS and FOREVER a heartbeat close to you.

Kelly, I wish there were some miraculous words I could say to you that would make the nightmare of your grief journey disappear - - that would take the horrible pain and sorrow from your heart. But I do not have that power. I can only hope that the words I share with you offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep sorrow - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. I promise you, Kelly, that eventually the deep seering pain in your heart will ease and life will once again hold promise for you - - it is just going to take time for you to come to this place in your journey - - with the comforting knowledge that you are NOT alone - - for each of us are here with you, for you, and beside you through every step of your journey.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Kelly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Wolfie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Kellyt]

Hi moon_beam,
Thank you so very much for your kind words and thoughts. You are so right-we have a right to honor our own experiences and grief without comparing to anyone else. Thank you. I feel so blessed to have found this forum and people who understand.
I hope you and Noah are doing well. Keeping you in my thoughts.

Many thanks,
Kelly