I sit here and watch my newest and most special kitty slowly weaken. His body is not his own anymore. The light in his eyes his still there but his body won't do what he asks. He can only watch and wish he could play as my other cats run through the house. He has to work to even make it to the litter box.

I never thought I would lose him so soon. My best friend...my little bird. Everyday is a struggle to not break down, to not give in to my grief. I need to be here for my little Bartelbee, the light of my life. How does one get through everyday knowing what the future holds? A house without my little guy, a family missing one. I didn't know it would be so hard. That I could be this sad. I don't know how many days I have left with him but I will not leave his side.

Thank you for letting me get this out. For letting me share my grief. It helps a little to know there are others out there and I'm not as alone as I feel.

You are NOT ALONE. Everyone here has gone through all different stages of losing their special baby. It may help you to tell us about your special one. How old is he? What happened? Has your vet said it is close? I asked my vet years ago how to know to make the final decision and he said look at the quality of life. When it is very little or not at all..it is time. These sweethearts give us their unconditional love and all they ever need in return is for us to make sure they do not suffer when there is no hope..no cure.
Is there anything that can be done to help your baby?

It is good to hear you have other cats in your home. I have found when the last one leaves..that silence is truly deafening.

Post if you feel like talking.. We are always here listening. We know the pain all too well. We also know how hard it is to let go.
But when we do, it is letting go to give them peace...that's what we all have to remember. It is the reason we make that terrible final decision....to give them peace. It is probably the only time we really put them before ourselves because we know how painful the loss will be for us but we love them too much to allow any suffering...that's the price we do pay for that special love that only they can give us.

Take care. I wish you and your baby peace.

I am truely sorry. Sometimes because we love them so very much it makes it so much more difficult. We are all here for you.

Many Many Hugs to YOu!!!!!!!

your grief pains my heart. i was in your place less than a month ago. it was painful to watch my sunshine growing weak and still fighting to be silly. breaks my heart to pieces just thinking of that. i knew things would get worse and i tried to prepare myself but when his last moments of seizures came i was hysterical. i never cried so hard. i calmed down and took him outdoors to his favorite place and took his pain away as i sang to him. i struggled to make myself do it. i knew the angels wanted him. i knew he would never want to see me in pain. my sister (vet tech) said. "this isnt the happy acorn you know. you have to let him go." it hit me that this was not the way i wanted him to live and feel just to have him physically. i held him after he passed, very silently. he closed his own eyes after he passed. i cremated him along with my other angel joshua that passed 2 years ago from kidney issues. things are so empty without him. i burst into tears at little things that remind me of him. my other pets have been extra close to me and they are helping me through as well as people on here. im sorry you and your kitty are going through this. i send you both a hug

with love corina and her angels

I am so sorry for what you are going thru right now. Please know that every one here is with you, and we each feel your pain. Please keep sharing. There is alot of love here, and a lot of shoulders. When you are ready i would love to hear more about your little guy.
My prayers are with you, and yours.
I send you big hugs.

cheesy

I am so sorry you are having to go through the anguish of watching a loved furkid in decline. It is to your credit, though, that it does cause grief. If I stopped feeling such grief in situations like yours I would immediately adopt out all of my cats and wonder where my humanity went. Still, it is a very tough time and I sympathize with you. Please keep us posted.

Take care,
Ken

Hi, jharbeck, Anticipatory Loss is extremely hard because it is a constant reminder of when we won't have our precious fur baby with us anymore. But it also gives us the opportunity to hold precious to the time we do have left - - however short or long that may be. It also gives your other furbabies a chance to say "good bye" - - but there will always be the grief journey for each of you once your precious Bartelbee is no longer physically with you. Please know you are not alone in your journey as you and your fur family travel this road. Please let us know how things are going.

Peace and blessings,

moon_beam

Hi, My name is Geese, and I just lost my bunny Max, who was a beautiful tabby cat that I had for 10 years. I had to put him down on July 19th because he got so weak and couldn't even stand up or make it to the litter box anymore. He still looked as cute as ever, but I think he felt terrible because he couldn't do the things he used to. I am so distraught, I miss him so much. I think about him every minute, and I can't stop the tears. How do you get through this? I feel lost.

I wanted to thank everyone for his or her kind words and thoughts. I was surprised by how one night when I was overwhelmed and barely holding on I sat down at my computer and all the grief, pain and heartbreak flowed out of my fingers and onto my keyboard. It didn't stop my sorrow but over the next few days the kind words I received made me feel that I wasn't so alone.

The last few days have been better. I have been manually feeding him and his fever has gone down so he has gotten a little of his strength back. He can still barely walk due to neurological problems but yesterday with a little help he made it to the kitchen and ate two bites of food all by himself. Plus he has finally gotten his purr back. I will sit on the floor snuggling him and hear a soft low purr. I think it’s the best sound in the world. I know his recovery is just temporary but I will take as many good days as he is willing to dish out. I will take it just a day at a time.

My little guy might be young but he has touched my heart in a way I didn’t know was possible. I know I am better for knowing him even if as been for too short a time.

I am eternally grateful that perfect strangers would open their hearts and help me through such a touch time. Thank you again.

the first thing is talking about how you feel with other understanding people. you are not alone. we all have each other. there are many here losing a pet or have lost one. we know the feeling.

with love corina and her angels

your welcome and thank you. your kind words help others heal too. they are helping me. i feel your pain as i get flashbacks of my acorn in what you are describing. my acorn blessed my whole life with only 1 year of his own. i am greatful as i know you are too. my heart is with you.

with love corina and her angels

I just read your recent post where you said:

I have posted in hear before about my little 1 1/2 year old cat Bartelbee when he was diagnosed with dry FIP. I guess I just am sitting here lonely, really missing his cute little face. On Monday of last week his disease finally took over his body. For a month I watched him go from wobbling while he walked to only being able to move his front legs. On Monday morning he couldn’t even raise his head. The Bartelbee light had gone from his eyes. It was the hardest thing I had ever done letting him go. Holding him as he stopped breathing with his little head that had given me so many nuzzles laid in my hand. I couldn’t even see him clearly due to the tears in my eyes. Through my grief, and my tears, I was still able to let him know that it was ok he could let go and that I loved him.

I have three other cats but Bartelbee was my special little guy. I volunteer at a shelter and about a year ago 4 kittens were dumped at there backdoor. One of those kittens was Bartelbee. He was scared and shy but after months of loving him he came out of his shell…we truly bonded. I knew we couldn’t be without each other and as soon as I could I brought him home to be a part of the family. I never wanted four cats but I couldn’t be without him.

So many nights he would snuggle up and sleep on my chest with his little purr going. He would follow me wherever I went. All he wanted was to be near me. He would rub his face against mine anytime I was close. Half the time his forehead was covered in my make-up. He never seemed to mind. I didn’t know that a cat could love as much as Bartelbee did. How can I go on without that?

I feel like I am missing part of myself. I have an empty hole in my heart. I was so strong for him while he was sick but now that I don’t have him anymore I feel broken. I lost the most precious thing in my life and there is nothing I can do about it. When he was sick we would lay next to each other with our foreheads touching and I would just talk to him. My voice always seemed to relax him. I would tell him that I wish I could take this disease from him and fight it myself, that I would do anything to make him better. I guess I just don’t know how to deal with this…to deal with losing him. My home seems empty without my little guy.

This is so recent it is the most painful time we go through. Bartelbee sounds like a beautiful sweetheart and I am so very sorry you didn't have more time with him. His time was way too short...less than 2 years old. Maybe it would help to reread some of the replies above that you received...it is the best advice we can give and sometimes one finds comfort in going back over their original topic and answers.

This is a time to cry, and cry, and cry again. You are missing a part of yourself...a part who was by your side all the time. No there is nothing you can do about what happened. It helps me to believe that when it is their time to go, there is nothing we can do about it. Control of everything is taken from us. It is so cruel. Knowing I could not anything more than I have done just helps. That's all we can do...is the best we can for them. When it is beyond us, beyond medicine...it is truly beyond anything. All we can then do is make sure we give them peace for they deserve that.
Losing them and that wonderful special unconditional love is hard....much harder than a lot of people realize. But the ones who have gone through this....understand....for the pain is felt the same by all of us. It takes time to get through it and stop it from being overwhelming. I guess acceptance they are really physically gone is part of what helps the healing. We will never forget them and we will love them and miss them forever. And it is the missing them that brings pain everytime. The difference will be that in time we will control the pain instead of it controlling us. But in the beginning it is just too overwhelming not to cry, to vent, to try and do what brings us any comfort.

Hugs and I am glad you do have other babies. They can't bring back Bartelbee but they are unique in themselves and always ready to share their unconditional love anytime we are ready to accept it.