How Do I Come To Terms With The Loss Of My Boy? Options

[Susan P]

I lost Oggy my little soulmate for the last 11 years on 15th June. It just doesn't get any easier, I miss him so very much. My husband feels I should be coming to terms by now but he has no idea of the loss I feel. My husband has brothers and sisters not to mention Children and grandchildren from his previous marriage. Oggy was all I had, my little family and I know people here will understand when I say, he was my child. I know for him it was the best thing even if it was the hardest decision I have had to make and I keep bringing myself back to - it was best for him. I know that but it doesn't stop the pain.
I would like to tell you all about him but not today. Thank you just for reading this. Susan

[moon_beam]

Hi, Susan, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Oggy. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Susan, this grief journey is one of the hardest and most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time sometimes one moment at a time for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure.

Clinical professionals now recognize that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is the same as for the physical loss of a human family member or friend. Sadly, however, our society - - and sometimes the people who are closest to us geographically and emotionally - - do not. This is one of the many reasons why this wonderful forum is here as a safe place where we can come to share what is in our hearts and on our minds with people who truly understand the deep sorrow in our hearts and the many ups and downs, twists and turns, and turnarounds of this grief adjustment journey. Unfortunately there is no easy way to navigate this grief adjustment journey. There are no fast forward or delete buttons we can press to speed up the journey or make it automatically disappear. Please know you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Susan, we live in a physically oriented world governed by the five senses of sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. Every time our companions rub / touch us, lick / kiss us they are literally chemically imprinting themselves onto us so that they can identify us from all the other millions of people on this planet. When they precede us to the angels, we literally experience a chemical withdrawal from this imprint, which is one of the many reasons why this grief journey is so painful both emotionally and physically. Scientific studies prove that the tears we cry are literally healing tears because they literally cleanse our bodies from the toxins that build up from the stress of grief. Some people think that if they suppress their grief that it will make their sorrow less painful. Clinical studies prove that this is not the case and can actually cause health related complications that may need medical intervention. It is vitally important for your health that you allow yourself the opportunities you need to openly grieve for your beloved Oggy even if you need to find a private place to do so.

Even though your beloved Oggy is no longer physically with you there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved Oggy share. Love is eternal, Susan - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Oggy's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will for he is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I do know so very well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much, Susan, for sharing with us your beloved Oggy. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Susan, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[LittleGirl's...]

Susan,

I am so very sorry about the physical loss of your precious Oggy!!

What moon_beam shared is so very true. Oggy's sweet Living Spirit IS still right with you.

Thinking of you and sending prayers of peace. Looking forward to hearing more about your precious boy WHEN you feel up to it. And IF you feel up to it I would love to see a picture of him.

Please do something special for yourself today (and each day) and consider it a gift from Oggy.

Hugs,

Kathy

[lynette]

Dear Susan.

So very sorry for your loss. You don't come to terms with this kind of stuff - you just take it one day at a time. It's devastating to lose someone you love so much and one that loves you so unconditionally. These children of ours can sure rip a huge hole in your heart can't they? I don't know if I've ever come to terms with losing any of my precious angels. Some days, it hurts just as much as they day they left me. As time goes by, the pain begins to lessen a bit and you learn to live with it. I don't know that you ever accept it - I don't think I have. I think the only thing that keeps me going is that someday I hope to be with them again. I'm not a religious person, but I live with the hope that there is something after this life, cos I so desperately want to hold them again.

This is a great website. Moonbeam will be along soon. She is the best, knows exactly what to say. I found this site just before we had to let Hunny go be with her sister. It has been really good. I come back once in a while and write little letters to my angels. So many people just don't know the kind of attachment we have with these kids. I had no one to talk to at home. I know my husband and daughter missed them too, but they didn't want to talk about them. Besides, how can you talk when tears are always streaming down your face. This site is good, you can write and cry at the same time and nobody judges you. Nobody here makes those inconsiderate comments - you know the ones where they think they're being nice, but really it's not sincere.

I have three dogs right now and I love them with all of my heart. They are my life. My daughter is grown up and doesn't need me much anymore. I dread the day I lose them though. I don't think I could ever be without a dog though. As much as it hurts when they leave, I wouldn't have missed the time I did have with them.

You will get through this - in time. All you can do is take it one day at a time. Come here and write your feelings - it helps. Perhaps, another pet would help you heal. Of course, it could never replace Oggy, but it could help you through the hard times. I know I wouldn't have made it without mine. And I know I'll go through it again and again and again!!

It sounds like you had to make that awful decision to set him free. I had to do that with Hunny and it hurts like hell when they die naturally, but having to send them is unbelievably horrible. The guilt that keeps nagging at you is horrible. You know you've made the right decision, but there is always that doubt. Did I do it too soon, or too late. It's so tough. I know we would never want them to suffer more than they have to though. It's just that once they're gone you can't hold them anymore.

Anyway, I better get back to work. Take care of yourself. Take that long walk or drive and just let it go. I spent many hours in my car crying believe me.

I will be thinking of you. Sending a hug your way.

Lynette.

[lynette]

Susan.

Moonbeam must've been writing as I was writing mine. She's the best.

[Susan P]

Thank you all so very much for your kind words and understanding. It helps not to feel so alone. I can't right now but I will be so proud to tell you all abut my courageous little Oggy and share photos. Just not today. Thanks you all so very much. Susanx

[SoSad]

Dear Susan, I feel your pain and I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved Oggy. I lost my beloved little girl, Lilly, last March and my heart still aches for her. She was my child too, my beautiful little girl. Sending a big hug your way and blessings to your beloved Oggy.

[BabyHenry]

Dear Susan -

I'm sorry for the loss of your baby. I know exactly how you feel. I lost my baby and best friend on June 1 of 2014. Like you I have no kids (my husband does) and he just does not get it. It has been a really hard year for me and
I still cry about losing Henry but not every day anymore.

Its nice to come here, read other's stories and know that you are not alone.

- Kristyne

[Inessence]

Yes, we here know exactly how you feel. Please do tell us more about your beautiful Oggy when you're feeling up to it.