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> One Month Since Losing My Beautiful Boy Brutus
BrutusMom
post Apr 13 2018, 07:13 PM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 14
Joined: 13-April 18
Member No.: 9,164



I am new to this site as a member but I have read many of the past posts. I just needed to say that my Brutus passed away on March 16, 2018. He was my only furbaby-child as I was not able to have children of my own. He was 11.5 years old and the most handsome, black-bearded 30-lb. mini schnauzer you had ever seen. He was diagnosed diabetic and with a heart murmur 3 years ago. I believe on that fateful Friday, one of his heart valves failed as he started to show symptoms of congestive heart failure and his heart was greatly enlarged. I got him to the vets in time and they tried to revive him. He looked at me as I held his face in my hands, said goodbye, and was gone. The vet started CPR but to no avail.
I will post more in the future and add pictures of my beautiful boy Brutus but I am too upset and crying rivers to do it now. Thanks for listening


--------------------
Brutus von Dolce
June 19, 2006 - March 16, 2018
"We are connected at the soul...and the soul never dies"
RIP my beautiful sweet boy
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Mistletoe
post Apr 14 2018, 12:16 AM
Post #2





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 120
Joined: 9-July 07
From: Pennsylvania
Member No.: 3,246



BrutusMom--
Attached Image
So sorry to hear about Brutus--I know exactly what your loss and pain feel like. sad.gif

 Not the least hard thing to bear when they go from us, these quiet friends, is that they carry away with them so many years of our own lives..." John Galworthy


--------------------
Not the least hard thing to bear when they go from us, these quiet friends, is that they carry away with them so many years of our own lives..." John Galworthy
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BrutusMom
post Apr 14 2018, 06:59 AM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 14
Joined: 13-April 18
Member No.: 9,164



Thank you Mistletoe. It feels like I have been trapped in a nightmare since my Brutus passed. I find I hate coming home to an empty house because he is no longer here to greet me. Actually my life is turned upside down and I struggle to find ways to cope. Sorry about your loss.



--------------------
Brutus von Dolce
June 19, 2006 - March 16, 2018
"We are connected at the soul...and the soul never dies"
RIP my beautiful sweet boy
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BrutusMom
post Apr 14 2018, 07:11 AM
Post #4





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 14
Joined: 13-April 18
Member No.: 9,164



Attached Image

I have inserted a photo of my Brutus. I hope I did it correctly


--------------------
Brutus von Dolce
June 19, 2006 - March 16, 2018
"We are connected at the soul...and the soul never dies"
RIP my beautiful sweet boy
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Mistletoe
post Apr 14 2018, 11:17 PM
Post #5





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 120
Joined: 9-July 07
From: Pennsylvania
Member No.: 3,246



QUOTE (BrutusMom @ Apr 14 2018, 06:59 AM) *
Thank you Mistletoe. It feels like I have been trapped in a nightmare since my Brutus passed. I find I hate coming home to an empty house because he is no longer here to greet me. Actually my life is turned upside down and I struggle to find ways to cope. Sorry about your loss.



THANK YOU----

BEAUTIFUL BRUTUS!!! Again---so sorry

I do so understand. You found the right site---hopefully you will hear from others, that will share your grief.
It doesn't seem like it now, but it will get easier, in time.
Maybe, one day, you'll come across a Fur baby, who needs you as much as you need it
Do your grieving---it's natural and appropriate---it will help

Attached Image


--------------------
Not the least hard thing to bear when they go from us, these quiet friends, is that they carry away with them so many years of our own lives..." John Galworthy
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BrutusMom
post Apr 14 2018, 11:56 PM
Post #6





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 14
Joined: 13-April 18
Member No.: 9,164



Again, thank you Mistletoe for your kind words. I do find comfort in knowing that my Brutus will not suffer the painful path of full blown congestive heart failure with the bloating and difficulty breathing due to his much enlarged heart. He was just beginning to get the cough. The fact that he was also diabetic compromised his heart and other organs on top of everything. I was also spared the most difficult decision that a furbaby parent has to make as that is a likely scenario. My Brutus crossed the Rainbow Bridge on his own. The last gift my sweet beautiful boy gave to me was that when I held his face in my hands, he looked at me and the cataracts were gone and his eyes were as brown as brown could be. He said goodbye as we stared into each others eyes, and then he was gone. The vet started CPR but after I while I stopped his hands and whispered "enough, stop, my baby has been through enough, let him go in peace"

All the above is true but the fact remains that I cannot see clear right now--all I know is that I feel broken. Brutus was my second heart outside of my body. It has been made worse because my mother passed October 12 2017 and my stepfather passed on March 11 2018. With Brutus passing on March 16 2018 it was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

I feel broken and lost and struggle for ways to travel this grief journey.


--------------------
Brutus von Dolce
June 19, 2006 - March 16, 2018
"We are connected at the soul...and the soul never dies"
RIP my beautiful sweet boy
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BrutusMom
post Apr 15 2018, 11:34 AM
Post #7





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 14
Joined: 13-April 18
Member No.: 9,164



I will be going out of town for a week and will not have access to a computer. I am very disappointed that with the exception of Mistletoe, I have not had any response or support from this group. I may be oversensitive at this point but I was just hoping for a more "lighting-strike" guidance, understanding, and support. I may touch base upon my return and hopefully getting away from the home I shared with my Brutus will help me start to find myself again. Thanks again Mistletoe, without your kind words my situation would have gone unnoticed.


--------------------
Brutus von Dolce
June 19, 2006 - March 16, 2018
"We are connected at the soul...and the soul never dies"
RIP my beautiful sweet boy
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moon_beam
post Apr 15 2018, 12:34 PM
Post #8


Forum Moderator


Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,088
Joined: 20-July 08
From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861



Hi, Brutus' Mom, please permit me to add my belated sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Brutus. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Please know your heartbreak has not gone unnoticed. For me sometimes the words are hard to find to write, so it takes me awhile to respond. I am so very glad Mistletoe has been able to offer you comfort, and has shared with you what is also in my heart.

Brutus' Mom, please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal in this time of deep grief. This grief journey is one of the most painful experiences we will know - - both physically and emotionally. I, too, have been going through a very difficult grief adjustment journey to the physical loss of my beloved Noah on November 11, 2017. As a senior citizen with severe medical challenges my beloved Noah is my last companion in my earthly journey, and our last year together was not a pleasant one - - for all the many months I was in excruciating pain my beloved Noah's sweet body was being invaded by cancer and he never let me know he was becoming seriously ill until the evening of November 9, 2017. I was able to get him to the emergency hospital where the doctors finally discovered he had terminal cancer that had massively invaded his abdomen. The consolation is that I was able to be with him when the doctor mercifully assisted my beloved Noah on his transition journey from this earthly realm. Although it has been 5 months since my beloved Noah joined the angels my heart still aches from the deep sorrow of his physical absence - - and most importantly that he was so brave for me all the months I was in such excruciating pain while hiding from me that he was becoming so ill.

I also know what it is like to lose a beloved companion so quickly after the physical loss of a human family member. Indeed, I can so well understand how you're feeling coping with the physical loss of your beloved Brutus so quickly after the recent losses of your mother and stepfather.

I truly wish there were an easier way to navigate this grief journey, but unfortunately there are no fast forward or delete buttons we can press to speed up the process or make it automatically disappear. The only way is to take one day at a time, one moment at a time - - knowing you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through. Brutus' Mom, we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us - - and please know I will respond to you as soon as I can.

Brutus' Mom, I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, and encouragement as you travel your grief journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Brutus with us, and for this wonderful picture of your handsome boy. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Brutus' Mom, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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My Doxie and Me
post Apr 15 2018, 02:13 PM
Post #9





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 464
Joined: 31-July 11
Member No.: 7,200



Please forgive me... as each letter i type is a mountain each of us will
have to climb when a beautiful friend passes as we crumble as we
ask why... As many trace are friends Paw Prints as each breath is
labored almost a gasp;... as we climb an impossible Moment....
Attached Image
<6:14 Ludovico Einaudi> - Primavera [Extended]
I shall forever climb
just to kiss you
one last time...

<A forever purpose to Honor the ones we love A forever Climb>
This shows a true friendship and what we are willing to never truly part with a beautiful friend^^^....

<Space left Blank>


<A Silent Moment>
This is when a friend will speak as we have to sit in silence to hear the vibrations of time....
Learning a friends speech after can become a beautiful life experience as Brutus picked you as
what a brilliant teacher he will become....

Attached Image
To Brutus you have a long journey to whisper you're heart felt Moment for a Friend....


<Voices from Mountain Tops>
Are Angel whispers let us know they hold a dear friend as he created life and friendship....
Attached Image
Thank you for sharing Brutus as he is now in my thoughts....






















































Forgive me as i have questions Brutus ears with heavy cartilage Points
to a Noble Bloodline He is quite breathtaking Egyptian like
As my attempt to send Energy;... Just an observation
perhaps a conversation... A beginning...Know this reading your post/loss brings
speech as we speak Brutus name we kneel and always lay are thoughts with
a beautiful friend...
Attached Image

March 16, 2018
He looked at me
I held is face
We said goodbye...























<Lindsey Stirling - Carol of Bells>
Forgive me...What does a life sound like with Brutus... I can only imagine A glimpse into a Beautiful...

A Beautiful Symphony of a life you must let others know as we wait for a beautiful story of a friend that touches your heart...
Attached Image
Still Searching for words as checking up on my feeding plan when Brutus took 5 days of my ... What a special boy as i learn his...
as the tears are his voice trying to....Your love for a friend is everlasting a will to teach... you are his will.... Who is Teaching...










Please Forgive my Words as it is difficult to try and understand the Loss of a true friend as each one of us on LS have
made this journey when someone so special comes along the words you are seeking are waiting within Brutus life long
love for you....Write his story and clarity of friendship will follow special friends find LS as we all wait for a sign that lets
us know they are ok and watching over us as they lick the tears as we cry are self to sleep as we find some peace as
we close are eyes only to see shadows of a friend;...
Attached Image
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My Doxie and Me
post Apr 18 2018, 07:07 PM
Post #10





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 464
Joined: 31-July 11
Member No.: 7,200



Attached Image
Lighting a candle for a friend is everlasting and Heart Break...


















































Attached Image
To speak for a friend is a lifetime of caring.....As we end up asking for....;...
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BrutusMom
post Apr 19 2018, 05:56 PM
Post #11





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 14
Joined: 13-April 18
Member No.: 9,164



To Moon Beam - thank you for your kind words. I have followed your posts and have become very much involved in your journey after losing your beloved companion Noah. When you described the pain on coming home and not having your beloved Noah there to greet you I felt a kinship with your feelings as they described exactly my feelings after losing my beautiful boy Brutus. I continue to struggle as now I feel my home is now just a house without my Brutus' loving self being there to share it with me. I am so sorry for your loss and send you comfort from one who knows all to well the dark days.

To My Doxie and Me - I have also read all your posts and I am so sorry for your loss as well. You have a poet's soul and it speaks to me as I have a poet's soul as well but have not been able so far to express my pain in my words. It is too raw as tears are razors that cut as they fall. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for lighting a candle for my Brutus.



--------------------
Brutus von Dolce
June 19, 2006 - March 16, 2018
"We are connected at the soul...and the soul never dies"
RIP my beautiful sweet boy
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BrutusMom
post Apr 19 2018, 09:43 PM
Post #12





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 14
Joined: 13-April 18
Member No.: 9,164



On the loss of Brutus...

"sadness slowly surrounds me
as the mist shrouds the beach at fog
bringing with it the essence of you

it envelops me to the point of madness
i ache for the flesh and voice of you
to be near by my side in its stead
to beacon my way out of the night to safe harbor

and i know that the mist may remain without end
a constant reminder of the light going out
ending the life of a love cherished deep

the torrent sea of emotions never at calm
a doom to begin search for a new harbor home
wishing the while to remain adrift in the black
rather than land at a shore where you no longer wait"

----ddolcelakatos aka brutus'mom


--------------------
Brutus von Dolce
June 19, 2006 - March 16, 2018
"We are connected at the soul...and the soul never dies"
RIP my beautiful sweet boy
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BrutusMom
post Apr 20 2018, 07:56 AM
Post #13





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 14
Joined: 13-April 18
Member No.: 9,164



Five weeks...just 5 weeks since my beautiful boy Brutus became an angel. Seems like a lifetime since he has been gone and I struggle each day to move forward without him. Yesterday I received his paw print and fur clippings from my vet and a whole new abyss opened up. Bittersweet moments when I remember the very same paw print on my newly washed floors and the sweet softness of that fur cuddled with me at night-night. I force myself to imagine him running free and finding his beloved Nana PK (my mother), keeping each other company. A friend told me that "we hurt so they don't have to" very powerful!

Run and play my sweet Brutus. You are loved and beloved.





--------------------
Brutus von Dolce
June 19, 2006 - March 16, 2018
"We are connected at the soul...and the soul never dies"
RIP my beautiful sweet boy
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moon_beam
post Apr 20 2018, 02:42 PM
Post #14


Forum Moderator


Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,088
Joined: 20-July 08
From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861



Hi, Brutus' Mom, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. So many people try to comfort a grieving heart by saying "it will get better." Now that I'm a senior citizen who has suffered more losses than what I care to count I now believe that instead of things "getting better" they just "are different." And adjusting to that "difference" is a lifetime journey. When our companions come into our hearts and homes our lives are changed for the better. When they precede us to the angels our lives are changed again as we struggle to re-invent our lives without their sweet physical presence sharing our every moment. Hopefully eventually the many wonderful memories of the years we are blessed to share with our precious angel ambassdors will once again bring a smile to our hearts as the ache that immerses our heart during the deep grief eases.

Thank you again so much for sharing your beloved Brutus with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Brutus' Mom, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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My Doxie and Me
post Apr 20 2018, 03:48 PM
Post #15





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 464
Joined: 31-July 11
Member No.: 7,200



Forgive my interruptions as they are with heart in hand..
What a Raw Point of emotion a beautiful Memory of loss is masked behind the Suns Dusk...
Lindsey-C-of-Bells a powerful moment as bells ring from Mountain Tops...


The boat sits at rest
In calm, empty harbor...
As we drink deeply
From the skies gift of dusk
That brands the soul forever;...
Attached Image
-Hunter Coch
A beautiful life we share with a friend is a symphony waiting in the empty harbor...
We can not touch
Nor feel
yet we are
still connected
For Eternity
as we listen
Vibrations of time speak to us...



(A Poem For Brutus)

The Beauty of life is...
A silent moment
A Beautiful Moment
A Life long Moment
A Forever Moment
A Freindship....
Attached Image
A Dusk that brands the soul forever...
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My Doxie and Me
post Apr 20 2018, 05:25 PM
Post #16





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 464
Joined: 31-July 11
Member No.: 7,200



Attached Image
Lighting a Special candle for Brutus...




























In Memory as New friends gather to Honor....
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BrutusMom
post Apr 20 2018, 05:44 PM
Post #17





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 14
Joined: 13-April 18
Member No.: 9,164



Thank you so much moon beam and a doxie and me for your continued support as I try to get through this very terrible state of feeling so so lost and broken. With every loss in my life I am a believer that things do not get better but can get bearable. I can barely breathe for the emptiness in the pit of my being since losing my Brutus. Does it really get bearable??


--------------------
Brutus von Dolce
June 19, 2006 - March 16, 2018
"We are connected at the soul...and the soul never dies"
RIP my beautiful sweet boy
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My Doxie and Me
post Apr 20 2018, 07:00 PM
Post #18





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 464
Joined: 31-July 11
Member No.: 7,200



To a question you will...


1.Lay with your tears
2. be present without being anywhere at all
3. You will look for Brutus around every corner
4.Tears will fall without emotion
5.This i believe is a friend trying to...As we...
Attached Image
In are journey to find a friend that has no voice
are own helplessness binds us to beg for forgiveness...


As you kneel and tears will fall for years this is a friend that touches are heart
that has no speech as he licks your tears from you're eye;s Brutus has a story
and when you walk in his Paw prints this is when....










Beautiful Symphony will play as Brutus will teach...








Honor a Friend as i have spent hours caring for each word i speak in Brutus Behalf as this is such
a difficult journey I can only whisper a beautiful friend Name...

Yet i was brought here Or imprisoned by a;)... Yet what i have been able to accomplish in loving Memory.....
I have the ability to do great things in behalf of are friends touch many life's as each word
we speak bonds to another as Thoughts of Love ones lay are words to soften are hearts...


This is why Brutus is so important as he was already a gift yet only you hold his whispers.. and in after life he is still trying to
lay next to you...As he has so much to say or maybe just to lay his head as you both look into the Harbor as peace is a precious
commodity that seems to be running..

With silent moment comes clarity as we must see are own faul...Only Then we are set free;...

I still look thru waterfalls just to speak with a friend;... That;s ok as it drives me to become a better person
a Better care taker and if you know Dachshunds they are all about taking;) My Elsa and Free;)
Attached Image
You have Keep Brutus all to you're self as i would have and did;... Let others know what a beautiful boy
Give him a Symphony of words a beautiful Friendship starts with....

Please forgive my words as i carry my heart in hand... Also after passing i filled my friends water dish everyday;...Looking Thru Waterfalls..For 2 years;...
I just wanted a Procharger yet i got a Dachshund;)
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My Doxie and Me
post Apr 20 2018, 07:58 PM
Post #19





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 464
Joined: 31-July 11
Member No.: 7,200



To answer your question yes on a level that can not be atm
as we play different role as we can see a more beautiful life
as we look thru a young friends eyes as we are reborn with
guidance and a depth of Knowledge fit for Kings as we are now
rulers of this great land;...As we look into the eyes of New Angels...

Attached Image
You Might see us as in The Kings Court... yet we are still Care Takers...Dear Lord;)
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Mistletoe
post Apr 20 2018, 08:19 PM
Post #20





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 120
Joined: 9-July 07
From: Pennsylvania
Member No.: 3,246



QUOTE (BrutusMom @ Apr 20 2018, 07:56 AM) *
Five weeks...just 5 weeks since my beautiful boy Brutus became an angel. Seems like a lifetime since he has been gone and I struggle each day to move forward without him. Yesterday I received his paw print and fur clippings from my vet and a whole new abyss opened up. Bittersweet moments when I remember the very same paw print on my newly washed floors and the sweet softness of that fur cuddled with me at night-night. I force myself to imagine him running free and finding his beloved Nana PK (my mother), keeping each other company. A friend told me that "we hurt so they don't have to" very powerful!

Run and play my sweet Brutus. You are loved and beloved.

Attached Image


--------------------
Not the least hard thing to bear when they go from us, these quiet friends, is that they carry away with them so many years of our own lives..." John Galworthy
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