Oh, how I miss his little face. I can't take this. How long does it go on? 6 months? A year? Ten years?

I have no idea how long it goes on for, but I do know how you feel! I wish there was something I could do to make you smile

Jakey has such an adorable face and I'm sure it's hard not to think about how he cute he is. It's like a part of us has been taken and noone has the answers.

I'm here for you anytime and you've helped me tremendously since I lost Rajah! Hang in there!

Kind of like Furkidlets Mom's comments to me....can't really offer any words of wisdom except I understand. I'm having a good day today, but like you couldn't stop crying all last week.

Someone once said here that grief is a roller coaster, so hopefully happier days are head your way....

Your post about funny stories did cheer me up.......it made me think of happier times.So you helped me last week for sure.

Wish I could do the same for you. But allowing someone to cry to feel their pain is almost a gift in itself in our society. For me, other people trying to dictate my feelings made me cry harder over the last few months........the reason Misty, Rajah, Nissa and Jake were so important to us is that they were there when no one else cared, never cared about what we looked like, did, said, how much money we earned, etc........

One thing I can say is that I have been feeling the same way on and off, and I hope for the day that I can only laugh about all Misty's funny things, and hopefully have another pet with a close relationship.

In terms of a time frame, it's been 3 and a half months for me........I have a feeling it is going to take at least getting through the first year to start working towards my goals.

I think the first year is hard because it is the firsts without them......no kiddie pool this summer, etc. But by the second year hopefully those memories will seem happier than sad. This is what I hope for myself.......

In the meantime, I find it sad I have to console myself with strangers (no offense to everyone here), but we at least have that.

Hang in there...I am headed to a counselor myself next week, so you aren't the only one....referring to your reply to my post.......

Hugs and happy thoughts.......Amy

Amber ~~

Can't tell you how long it takes, but I can say that for me, after 14 weeks to the day today, I'm still feeling Caesar's absense tremendously. Tears are now a way of life for me. It's snowing. He loved the snow so much. In a little while, I'm going to go out and draw a heart in the snow over where he's resting.

Hang in there, Amber... we're being watched over. Not all who we don't see are lost to us, forever. (Just feels like it, sometimes...)

*hugs* B*B

Jake's mommy

It takes as long as it takes, and it just sucks. I can tell you it does get better. The first year has so many heartbreaking times. All the firsts without them. My best friend and kitty cat Butch died 10 years ago, I still miss him. It gets eaiser with the years, but I can't talk much about Butch without crying even now. I can think of him and be happy, but I can't express it to anyone else.

I know how you feel, it's my husbands BD today. Moose should have been here, just like he was here for 10 of them. Another first, god I hate them.

Blessed be

Thanks all. It sucks, but it does help having people who understand to comfort me. I don't believe that I can call you strangers, just friends I haven't met.

It's funny...I have lost people who have been very close to me, lost them in horrible ways, and I have never felt a grief this intense. My boy is my heart and my heart is ripped out.

Thank you for being there, even as I type through my tears.

I wish I could help you to feel better, but I have no words of wisdom because I'm there with you..it was 7 weeks ago yesterday that I lost Mo and the last few days have been pretty bad. I miss every tiny little thing, and although the shock has worn off (sort of), I have this horrible ache that gets worse with each day that passes without him.

I understand what you're going through and I'm sending you a big hug...Jake's face is just so angelic, I want to hug him whenever I see that adorable picture with his head tilted. How could you not feel the way you do?

Jen

I know it is different for everyone, but it is soon to be 2 years and 8 months since I last held my girl in my arms and I'm still here at LS each and every day....does that answer your question ? When people say it sucks, they aren't kidding. I must say, though, that over the past few months (yes, it took a long 2 and 1/2 years to get there) I have finally been able to begin recalling memories of my girl with only warmth and smiles. For the first year I merely existed. I thought of suicide so I could be with her again ...I was so desperate for her touch. After the 1 year anniversary, it seems as though the reality of my 'new normal' seemed to really become more evident. The acceptance finally started to set in, and although the stabbing pain that comes along with losing our furkids had started to dull, the day to day living with her absence was no better. I thought of her all the time and felt so alone...so lost. I would watch all of her home videos for hours (more often than I care to admit) and cry myself sick. I just wanted her back sooo bad. At the 2 year mark, I was certainly still having my share of bad days, but there were finally some good days creeping in. Days that I could just wrap myself in the blessing of having her in my life at all, and thinking about how much she brought to my life...which is more than I could ever put into words. I am crying right now as I type this, so obviously there is still a feeling of loss that nothing will ever heal for me. I tend to believe that where I am now in my grief is probably where I'll stay. I have accepted that she is gone...I'm learning each and every day how to better deal with that. However, she was...is...such a huge part of me, that I will mourn for her forever. I will always feel a terrible sense of loss. I will always think of her on a daily basis. I will always cry when I see a German Shepherd...these are things that I know will be a constant for me in my life....but hey, I feel like it is a small price to pay for my special girl <now I'm crying so hard I can no longer see this screen, so I had better go >

Kim, Sacha was so beautiful, just looking at her picture you see she is unique and this is why she gave you so much. Hard as it is, we are so lucky to have known these special beings and the love to and from, never really stops. Maybe one day you can show this love to a needing soul. As much as your love goes on, Sacha's love for you does too.

Thank you, Kim, for sharing your feelings on your girl. There has to be a better word for it then "it sucks". I too have considered suicide to go be with my Jake.

On Christmas Eve a friend found a half-dead pup dumped in the street, starved and dehydrated and beat up and barely breathing. I believe that Jake sent him. We took him to try and bring him to life, the idea was to find him a home, but nobody wants to adopt pitbulls and he is home now. He is not Jake, but the doses of puppy love are a comfort. Sometimes there is too much love to not give it to someone, and I am sure that Jake understands.

I'll be thinking of you. You and your precious girl have a deep, deep, special love.

The first year is the hardest. I found the change of seasons to be very difficult, and the holiday time. But it DOES get better, although life is never the same again. It doesn't mean it is worse, but it is just different. You get used to it though and joys come again. I am so sorry for your loss.

The change of seasons is hard...I keep finding all his little toys around the yard. And what will we do without a dog to pee in the pool;-)

I have learned much about the grief cycle here. Each of the wonderful folks here may help you to heal but the burning question of "how long does it go on?" cannot be answered on an individual basis. I have searched myself because I have asked that exact same question here (HOW LONG!!!) and have realized that, in my case anyway, the question itself was a mask.... a mask to disguise a repreive I sought from the terrible emotional pain I felt from such a signifigant loss. It was a cry for mercy, I wanted the pain to end. Truthfully & sadly I don't think it ever does. We as pet owners have been changed by the introduction of this small life form into our lives. It has become as integrated in our lives as much as an appendage of our own bodies such as an arm or leg. The loss could be compared to a psychological amputation! This creature has changed our lives forever and we can never forget that. We were different when it came into our lives...and we are different now that it has left us. We, or more to the point now YOU...can never be the same. You will be doomed to repeat at certain times in your life the parts of the grief cycle because of what you are...a loving caring person who looked after one of Gods great creatures during its short time on earth. We learn to live with just the memories of our little loved ones as we swallow the ugly truth that physical interaction with them is no longer possible, this truly is the core of our grief. Faith in the God of your understanding is paramount here. I have found that certain amounts of it will give me strength. As time goes on the realization sweeps in that faith is my last remaining connection with my departed pet. Here is the catch...because of the great humanity you have demonstrated here you will revisit in the corner of your mind the days when you could clutch & hold your loved one...I still do..and the tears come. I believe it is normal, but should be avoided as much as possible.

Take care my freind
It's not "how Long?"
It's just a matter of "doing our own time" untill we can see them again....

Hi to John, and Dusk to Dawn, and everyone feeling this same thing...You hit the nail on the head John, as hard as it is to hear or realize..its very true...the pain can never really go away and as other thoughtful people on this website have said, its like learning to live with the pain, as being normal, and not so odd and strange...no stranger than being alone, or experiencing new things without your buddy by your side...I understand, i am still crying and heartbroken and its been three months, but in the large span of my dogs life, 3 months is nothing compared to 14 and 1/2 years..., I am still trying to give him a piece of something that I am eating, holding it for a minute before I realize there is no one there to give it too. I miss that fur hug, I am greeting lots of dogs in the neighborhood, I find that helps for the moment to give you that animal love...even if its brief...anyway, thanks to all of you for your support...it continues to help me immensely...Much loev to all, Tory, Hrudey's Momma, forever my Christmas Angel..

Even though it's been longer for me, we're on the 'same page' with this horrid grief. It's almost 7 months now for me, and no sign of it 'letting up' yet....when I'd thought I'd been doing 'fairly' well earlier on. So one can never tell just how it's going to be in the future.

I, too, am still severely dreading the change in seasons. I'm terrified, frankly. I keep wondering how I'll ever be able to enjoy the yard/garden I built mainly for our kids' enjoyment, w/o my Nissa-girl out there with me, as it always was. In this, my second house, there never was a time I'd lived here w/o my kidlets.....so I can't even begin to imagine how WRONG it's going to feel, come spring and summer, to be out there.....alone.

Great thanks and kudos to you, though, for taking in that poor pup! It's people like you who keep me afloat, believing that this world COULD indeed become a very beautiful place, 'if only'..... So I'm glad that your act of kindness is being returned to you by this new, precious guy who was so dest*itute, but who you saved from the streets.

And what John said was wise, as always. A "psychological amputation" is right! I feel like I've lost not only my girl and the happier place in my heart, but half of my brain and its function, too. It's too overwhelming for mere words, just as you correctly pegged with the inadequate word, "sucks".

My therapist said yesterday that people like those of us here are in a pretty low percentile of the population, the rest of whom just can't grasp in any meaningful way, the enormity of how our losses feel to us. While I know it's true, the insidious ways this ends up making our grief even harder to bear really ticks me off no end! Our 'ranks' seem to be growing, but it's taking longer than I'd like, just like the grief. I think John makes a good point about this ~ wishing to 'rush' through, or mask this natural process (grief is NOT an 'illness' that needs treating in that sense!) is only another form of avoiding the terrible pain. And no matter how much we protest, the fact remains that the only sure way is THROUGH it, even the very worst parts that can drive us to feeling like we're 'insane' and can't possibly ever DO this. Mothergod give us strength!

Oh, and Amy....thanks for this:

That really helps me to take such pressure off myself, even when I supposedly already know better!

I lost two precious cats last year, Byron in January and Topsy in May.
I still miss them both everyday but I am slowly coming around to remembering all the funny things they used to do.
Someone on this site the other day mentioned head butts and I remembered if you said to Topsy " Give me a kiss " she used to butt you.
I cant say my grief has ended because it never will, but it has got easier with time and I still have my precious Cleo who you can see in my Avatar and she is a great comfort. It is funny but she has become a different cat and has taken on many of the characturistics[sp?] of the two that died its almost as if they have her ear and are whispering to her to be a nice girl, which she didn't use to be.
I find it difficult to believe that so much time has past and that life has gone on without them in it. We have had some renovations done and a large Pergola built on the back and I am always saying to my husband when we sit out there how much they would have enjoyed it and that makes me sad.
Sorry for the ramble. Cleo1