My Sweet Girl Is Dying

[FONT=Arial]In April of 1993, my family and I were blessed with the chance to adopt two dogs - Basenjis, they were brother and sister and were nearly 3 years old. Their names were Andy and Penelope (Nellie for short). A few years after having them, Andy was hit by a car and lost a kidney. He was such a wonderful dog and a best friend up until April 28th of 2003, when he had to be euthanized due to chronic renal failure. At the same time, we had his sister (who still had both of her kidneys) tested. The results showed she was operating on 25% of her kidneys, that she had already lost 75%.

We did everything to keep her healthy and happy. In this past week, she is following the path her brother took 5 months ago. I sit here at 4 am unable to sleep because she has stopped eating and I know that I need to do the right thing by her and let her go. I was devastated (as was my whole family) when Andy died. I thought I'd never, ever feel better. But, in time, I've begun to feel better and then this happens. I feel so helpless. I love Nellie so very much. I know it's selfish to try and hold on to them, but I am going to be lost without her. Nellie and Andy helped me through my highschool years, all of my stress and decisions, then through my college years and now beyond. They were with me for most of the major changes in my life. Imagining life without them both is like I am losing my siblings.

I spent most of tonight saying goodbye. She looks so tired and so sad. I know that dogs (and other animals) do not look at death the same way people do. I know she will be with her brother (and her mother, father, other brother, and friends), but I will miss her so much.

There aren't any pet loss support groups in my area, which is why I came online. It was easier with Andy because I still had Nellie who needed me and who I could love and cling to. Most people I've spoken to treat pet loss as a trivial matter, which makes me feel stupid for grieving so much and trying to make them understand my grief. Just reading the stories of others helps a lot. Thank you for this forum, and thank you to all who read this.