2&1/2 Months And The Pain Is Extremely Searing

Hello everyone,
I wanted to write because I don't feel like there is anyone else I can talk to that will not think I am a blubbering idiot. I can't even explain how much I miss my baby, I am still crying myself to sleep, I'm still on sleeping medication from my doctor and still cry everyday. I hope this doens't sound cold-hearted or that I don't care about my Corky that I lost in 1998 but the pain I am feeling right now with losing my Sparky is so much greater than what I had when I my Corky in 1998 and I had him for many years as well. I mourned alot for him but right now it seems as though I can't get out of it. Somedays I just don't even want to get up.

God Bless to everyone, Take care and my prayers will be with you.

Sincerely,Trish

Take Care, Thank You For Everything.

Hello,

I would like to thank the couple people that wrote me wonderful notes and seemed to truely care. I have been coming here everyday and either writing a post or just reading others and lending a comforting word to others in need. The first time I posted 2 subjects some very nice people responded to me and lended me a shoulder to lean on. Every post I have written since then has not been replied to once. Every other post that has been added here has been read many times and replied to countless. Maybe I wrote too much, maybe I put to many pictures of my sweetheart maybe I offended someone, I don't know. If I did offend someone then I am very sorry I surely didn't mean to. I wish the very best to everyone here and I hope that your hearts will heal and you can go on and be happy once again. Remember the Rainbow Bridge and know that your furbabies will always be waiting there for you when it is your time to cross the bridge. God Bless. Bye
Trish

" Morning came and you were not there...
Night came and you were not there...
And then for me there was never a happy day..."

Faces Of Sparky

I didnt' do the first page right. I hope this one shows up with all the pictures of Sparky. Sorry for the extra page.

Luv,Trish

Faces Of Sparky

[SIZE=7]Hello Everyone, I have been trying to find all kinds of way to heal myself. For the members that said that maybe I should go to see a counsler, I have called and made an appointment for myself Thursday. I am beginning to think that I will not make it through this without some extra help. Most of you here are great and I really appreciate all the good things you have said to me but I think I am going to have a long hard road back to a place where I can at least stop crying and wanting to be with my buddy. Someone reccomended making a page of photos of Sparky so people could see what I fell in love with. So here goes. Also I am putting the link to my Corky's page, so everyone can meet him, I lost him on November 27, 1998.

Corky's Tribute page on Petloss.com

God Bless everyone who has lost their furbabies.

Trish

Weekends Are The Worst So Far

Oh my gosh. I never thought the weekend could feel so alone and empty! On saturdays I would get my kids and either go fishing at a local pond or go to Sparky's favorite park and just let him run and run and chase his tennis ball. Now, I sit here and do NOTHING. My middle son is in his room playing gamecube, my daughter and oldest son are in the family room watching Hey Arnold! I am here in my room feeling just terrible and thought the only thing that could keep me from the breaking point was to write my feelings.

Today is 9-11 and I should be thinking about all the innocent people who lost their lives to the terrible terrorist that bombed the World Trade Center and Pentagon, but instead I am here mouring my lose, mt Sparky , my buddy. I miss him so much, I think with each day instead of feeling better my arms ache more and more. I have a stuffed Sheltie that is about half the size of my buddy and would you belive I carry this around with me to every room I go to. I have a Winnie the Pooh blanket that I cover him up with when I lay him on the couch or my bed. I am still waiting for the call from the vet to let me know that his ashed are ready to be picked up. At that time I have to pick up his bed as well. I'm not sure how I will handle this, I am hoping that I will be ok because for the last 2 weeks before he passed he layed in his bed and it most likely smells just like him, and I am hoping that this will be a good thing. Plus the people at the vet took his paw prints and trimmed a piece of his fur for me.

I had a Spaniel Mix that I lost on November 27, 1998 (he was born on May 1st 1985) and I remember mourning him for a long time but God forgive when I say this, the pain I felt then isn't the same kind of pain I feel now. When Corky died I had Sparky to help console me, he always new when I was sad, he would come and cuddle up to me and just stay right on my lap until he KNEW I didn't need him to stay with me anymore. He KNEW every time when I was ok. He was so smart. I loved Croky with all my heart just as I loved Sparky, but like I said this pain is so great. I am thinking that this is because I have no ther doggie to be by my side and help me through this plus Sparky was my rock through the lose of my daughter and like someone said earlier I might be mourning the lose of my daughter all over again. I went to the grave of my daughter and sat there for 5 hours yesturday. I put flowers and a small picture of Sparky on her grave. I have lost 2 daughters and their graves are right next to each other so I put him in the middle. My Rachel was a twin of my middle son and was lost during the 6 month while I carried my son to 8 months. They are both buried next to each other in Babyland at Chapel Hill Gardens in Oakbrook Illinois, (in case anyone lives around here and has the chance to get over there, their graves are very pretty and always decorated.)

Corky's Tribute Page at PETLOSS.COM in case anyone would like to see the page I made for my other furbaby that was Sparky's buddy. There is a picture on Corky's page that has both of them together.

My heart goes out to everyone that has posted their lose and feelings here over that last couple of days. I have read them and believe me have cried with you. I can't say I know exactly how you are feeling because I have learned that everyone mourns differently and to way different extremes but I can say that I can feel your loss and your pain and my heart goes out to you. May Peace,Love and God be with you.

I guess I will go, thank you to anyone that is listening right now. I hope I haven't bored anyone to sleep. Talk to you soon. Thank you to everyone thqat cared enough to write to me and give some great advice.
Sincerely, Trish