I Had To Put Shelby To Sleep Friday

I am still raw, heartbroken, abnormal. Shelby was acting not right on Friday. I took her to the vet, she had blood tests which showed she was in the end stages of kidney failure. She wasn't going to get better.

I don't regret what I did, it was all the best for her. But I am a mess. Devastated. It goes in waves, sometimes I think I will lose my mind if this goes on.

I am thinking of a tattoo of her name, a birthstone ring (I don't like those that incorporate the ashes into a stone), a shrine, a donation to an animal organization.

It is different when it is a human. Animals belong so much to us spiritually, and us to them, there is such a deep connection. I just don't think it is that way between humans.

I will love her forever, she is still my cat and always will be, as I will always be hers.

Can anyone tell me anything to help me? I have such desperation when I see things at home, but she isn't there.