January 2nd , 2012 will mark the 1st year anniversary my beautiful baby boy (my pet dog, Bicky) made his way to the Rainbow Bridge. As some of you know, my girlfriend (Naoko) and I found Bicky as a stray on the streets of Tokyo in 2002, and we were blessed with nine wonderful years with him.

One year on, I am still mourning his loss greatly. Especially around the holidays, I feel the emptiness and the sense of loss is amplified.
I have some weeks that are better than others, but I’ve found that the waves of grief can sneak up and overwhelm me. I am guessing that this pain and sorrow will never completely dissipate with time, and the quiet grief and loneliness I experience at times is just the new normal for me. His death has made me a better person though, helping me understand the value of friendship, love, and how precious (and fleeting) life can indeed be.
I keep his urn in a prominent place in my house, along with a digital photo frame with over 500 rotating pictures of him. This has brought Naoko and I much needed comfort.

But perhaps the one thing that has helped me through Bicky’s passing is this wonderful website. The amount of support and genuine love and concern I have received (and continue to receive) has been a godsend. When Bicky passed away, it was difficult to find friends and family members that could understand the depth of my sorrow and grief I felt for “just a dog”. It was here that I found people that not only could truly relate to how I feel, but also were willing to share their stories and support me in such a caring and loving way…Thank you so much!

For those interested, Bicky died beautifully.
Leading up to his passing, he had been quite ill for 4 or 5 months. The veterinarian determined that he had Cushing’s disease, but was somewhat optimistic that some new (revolutionary) medicine could help his condition.
Bicky slowly deteriorated though. I was in complete denial and convinced myself that he would miraculously rebound and put it all behind us. But it was not to be.

Bicky’s last Christmas was tranquil and joyful. We spent it up in the mountains (at Naoko’s parents’ house) in Northern Japan. Although he had trouble walking, we made a beautiful bed for him right beside the Christmas tree. He was surrounded by everybody he loved and he was even able to eat a little turkey and enjoy the Christmas ambience. He seemed so happy and content.

His condition took a turn for the worst though on New Years’ day, so Naoko and I decided to drive Bicky to a veterinarian hospital in Tokyo. The doctor was a bit taken aback by Bicky’s deteriorating condition. He hydrated him with an IV, and instructed us to bring him back the next day. That night we lay Bicky down in his bed, located in the same living room we spent so many wonderful times together. For the previous 4 months, I had slept on the living room sofa, so I could be with Bicky during the evening in case he needed me. His bed was right beside mine. Bicky looked much better. I remember I crawled up beside him, and whispered, “We have a big day tomorrow Mr. Handsome; we have to wake up at 8am to go to the vet’s”. Bicky licked my nose and then rested his head on his (favorite) soft green pillow. I put a light blanket on him, kissed him one more time, and turned off the light.
I kept a flashlight beside me, so I could sometimes see how he was doing during the evening. I turned the flashlight on once as if to say “hello”, and Bicky wagged his tail as if to say “I’m o.k. Now try to get some sleep Mark”. I did just that.
I slept like a rock that night, and the sun was already up by the time I awoke. I turned over to say “good morning” to my Bicky…but as soon as I laid my eyes on him, I realized that he chose that night to let go.
Thank you again everybody for your (continued) support.
And thank you Bicky for being my best friend (ever).
Mark

That is a great story Mark. Very similar to mine in that I spent time with my Max in my living room looking after him and caring for him. Bicky will always be a part of you and is patiently waiting for the day when the 2 of you are reunited.

Dear Mark.....I thank you so much for the story of your earthly journey with Bicky. I have often wondered how he passed. I'm glad to see he passed peacefully at home by your side.

I understand the good days and the bad days we have during this grief journey. Like you, I feel that the waves of grief and loneiness will be the new normal for me too.

Again, Mark, thank you for sharing your beautiful story and I wish for you and Naoko many blessings in the new year.

Hugs,

LoveMyMickey

Hi, Mark, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing, and for your loving tribute to your beloved Bicky. You and Naoko are frequently in my thoughts and prayers.

Your beloved Bicky is truly blessed to have you and Naoko for his forever Dad and Mom. He is eternally grateful to you for your love and devotion during his earthly journey, and is patiently waiting for your appropriate time to join him eternal joy. And even though he is happily content in his heavenly home with the angels and all of our beloved companions, his heart is forever with you and Naoko.

I hope life is treating you and all of your family kindly, Mark. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to knowing how things are going for you whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Mark,

I hope you and all your family are doing well. I hope that unusual tornado didn't touch your area.

I am posting on this thread so that others can read your latest one. I know you are still hurting and I think of you and Bicky often. Let us know how you are doing.......God Bless...

LoveMyMickey

Dear LovemyMickey
Yes, the whole family is fine after tornado!
And yes, I'm still hurting a lot. Just like so many others on the board. I know they say that time heals all wounds, but it seems the pain will always stubbornly linger.
This board helps a lot....
Thank you for your continuing support.
Mark

Dear LovemyMickey
Yes, the whole family is fine after tornado!
And yes, I'm still hurting a lot. Just like so many others on the board. I know they say that time heals all wounds, but it seems the pain will always stubbornly linger.
This board helps a lot....
Thank you for your continuing support.
Mark (and Bicky)