My Beloved Mikee, A PART OF ME IS LOST Options

[michlav]

My baby just died yesterday and it is very devastating to find your loved one so ill and died shortly. His name is Mikee and he is my best buddy in the whole wide world. I felt so lonely so alone. It was just me and him since I live alone, me and him against the world through my success and failures he was there for me. I never owned a dog before this was my first time and he shared his life with me for almost 2 years. Next month he will be 2 years old and I was looking forward to celebrate his birthday. He died of disease called GME and all of these things were so sudden. 2 weeks before he passed away he was so quiet and could not figure out why, he was always a happy dog. Just after 4 th of July, I brought him to the vet because he was so sluggish and later found out that he had fever and possible cough or cold. 2 days after that he had mild jerky movements to his legs and eyes but it stopped. I asked my neighbors to keep an eye on him that night since I have to go back to work. My neighbors called me at work that his seizures were continuous so I went to get him at home while on my break and bring him to 24 hour emergency hospital. I visited him that same day after work and he looked so fragile and he recognized me and i did not if he was in pain but i held him for several minutes. That same day before going back to work I went to visit him and I brought his favorite toy, I held him for 15 minutes, he was looking very fragile, I kept stroking him and could not help but cry. An hour and 30 minutes later the hospital called me and informed me of the bad news. It was like a nightmare I felt so helpless and lost and Im kind of lost without him. I cried and cried until there is no more tears to cry. I could not sleep I kept thinking of the good things we shared and how much I missed him. There is no more friend to wait for me at home, no more tail wagging when he sees those greenies and I missed him leaking my face. Oh Lord I missed him so much. Other non pet owners could not undersfand my loss, even my parents could not understand my grief. I am still grieving, we just buried him today, I kept his toys inside the bags for right now, everytime I see them it reminded me of him. Losing him is not like losing a family, losing him is losing a part of me. I love you, Mikee. Mama loves you very much.

[MumofSerge]

Hi, Michlav
I am so sorry to hear about your wonderful Mikee. He sounds as if he was the perfect companion and friend. I can't imagine how devastated you must be feeling. I am so, so sorry for your loss...made all the more nightmarish by the suddenness of it all. I experienced something very similar with my beloved Sergey (feline) last week. One minute, my world was well....the next, it had fallen apart. A friend of mine lost her dog ten days ago, very suddenly, from illness. And speaking to her reminds me of how lucky I am to still have another feline (Lancey, Sergey's brother) at home, because it my house would be SO EMPTY without him. With that in mind, although it is probably too soon, perhaps the best way for you to honor Mikee's memory and to tell him how much he means to you is to take in another dog. There are so many homeless dogs and puppy's in need of a good home...and imagine how proud of you Mikee would be to see that, even in your grief, your love for him inspired you to take in an unwanted dog. I just hate to think of you in your home alone (you said you lived alone, and I can't imagine how you're feeling now, going home without Mikee there to greet you. I HATE to think of you experiencing that.)
Yet none of this takes away from the grief you are now experiencing. This wonderful website WILL be a comfort to you, Michlav: it was such a comfort to me.
I know it is heartbreaking that Mikee had such a short life, but we all have our designated time, I guess....and when it comes to life, it's 'quality' that counts - not 'quantity', and Mikee's life with such a loving and devoted parent was the best life that fabulous dog could have had.
I really am so, so sorry. It DOES get a bit better: the first few days are...well...you know what they are, because you're experiencing it now. But as the days go by and acceptance dawns, you will find that you ARE able to function (if not very happily at first), and you will also start to realize that Mikee is still with you - in spirit - in your heart - and will still be a companion to you for the rest of your life.
You and Mikee are in my thoughts,
Love,
Amanda ***