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Pet Lovers

My Content
11 Apr 2006
I lost my little ferret boy, Buddy the ferret, last September. I thought I was going to go out of my mind. I cried, I got angry, I blamed myself, I played the "What If?" game over and over..........the pain was so great and I had never felt such an emotional stirring as I did that day and the weeks that followed.

This site was a huge support for me. Stay here as long as you need to and use it. Let it help you heal. It helped me.

Occasionally I come back and read some of the things that people are going through with their loss or eminent loss.....and I want to say everything I can to comfort them and console them. To make their hurt, emptiness and loneliness go away, forever. But alas, I can't respond to everyone, so I wanted to just put this out here for you all to read, it may help...and if I can make one person better, as so many tried and did for me, then I have been successful at my attempt here.

Grab a tissue and read on:

It hurts. I know it does. Don't be afraid of that hurt, don't be afraid to show your feelings through your emotion. Cry if you need to cry. Scream if you need to scream. Let it out. Don't bottle it up and let it fester. It's good to get it out. Talk to others who will listen. Let them know you're not looking for answers, or even for them to understand what you're going though, just that you need the ear, the out. The vent. Some people are not pet lovers and may not know or fathom what you're going through. Maybe not the best people to talk to, but if you have someone who is willing to listen, then TALK!

Stay busy. Keep your mind occupied. Do what you normally do. Don't hide, don't crawl in a hole and pull the hole back in over you. Yes, that is the easy thing to do, but it doesn't lessen the hurt or change history. The less free time you have, alone time or quiet time, the better. As is want for human nature you will dwell on the negative and find yourself once again, upset and boo-hooing if you have a lot of idle time to dwell on the negative. Nothing wrong with that, but it's better to not have to have that stress and added negative in your life, if at all possible.

Remember, the past is the past, you have to move on, but only when you're ready too. And you will find that time. I promise. It comes. But whatever you think, you can not change the past. So don't let that be part of what you do with this. Let that part go.

As you have all heard, a million times over, "With every day that passes, a little healing takes place and things get a little bit easier" that's true. I won't say better, because nothing makes this better, but it does get easier.

Remember your pet. Remember what fun you had. Remember all the times they did crazy, little, funny things that made you smile or call them "goofball"..... Keep them close to your heart. Did your pet ever react to your being sad or upset around them? Mine did. And it bothered him. So know, your pet wouldn't want you upset now either. They know. They do.

As for the physical things, the belongings and toys and stuff, well, that's hard. I got angry and I just wanted all reminders of Buddy to be gone. So I took his cage, which he never stayed in anyway, and stuffed all his toys and sleeping bags and stuff inside it and hauled it to the basement. I figured to have it out of sight would be the best thing. Oh, but I was wrong!

Every time I went downstairs to do laundry or get supplies from the basement I would see it and just cry and cry. I would take out the sleeping bag he slept in and smell it....just so I could know that unique ferret scent once again. It broke my heart. It reinforced even more so that he was gone. Maybe it's a good idea to leave things out and just put them in a corner. But trying to hide them and remove them makes it worse, I think. Do whatever you think is best.

I went around to all the pet stores the following week after Buddy died and I played with all the ferrets I could find. It helped, but didn't change anything, of course. I just hoped they all went to as good a home as Buddy had in ours.

Eventually I broke down and went against my promise to myself that I would never have another animal because I didn't want to ever feel this pain again at their loss. I bought a lonely little ferret boy, all by himself in the pet store, who needed my love. He has turned out to be a sweet addition to my family. We welcomed Ferris the ferret with open hearts and arms!

So, don't make that promise that you won't get another pet. It's not a fair one to make, to you or to a lonely animal out there who deserves the love you have. We can not deny ourselves the joy that they bring into our lives.

If you feel like you want another pet, don't be hasty, pick the right one for you, but MOST IMPORTANTLY: DO NOT TRY AND REPLACE YOUR LOST PET. You can NEVER replace the former pet. You can get another one, sure, but it won't be the same pet or a clone. It will act differently and have its own personality...remember that. ALWAYS.

DO NOT compare the new pet to the old pet. Don't expect them to be the same or act the same and don't punish them for not being the former pet. Don't say things to yourself or the new pet like "Well, Buddy learned how to do that really fast" or "Buddy was smarter" or "Buddy would never have done that" ........This new pet is not your "Buddy, or Spot or Fluffy" and it's not fair to the new pet to have you expecting him or her to fill the shoes of your lost pet. Not fair at all. And they can tell when you're demanding or expecting of them. Animals sense things, we all know they know.

And don't not love your new pet any less or differently, they're just sweet animals and they try to please us as best as they possibly can. They deserve the same amount of love and caring and understanding that the former pet did. Show that love and let it be that way again.

And lastly, I have to tell you, I know for a fact, that with time, these wounds all heal. You will get through this. Not over it, but through. That hole will always be there, but it gets easier every day to cover the hole and remember the happy stuff. And soon enough, like myself, you will find that you aren't crying over the loss and sadness anymore......you're living life, you're carrying on and you're smiling at the good memories you have of your beloved pet, your pal, your best friend........your Buddy.

Best wishes to you all, each and every one of you. Hang in there.....be strong. You'll make it.

Buddy's Dad.

(reading this next little piece might pull at your heart strings. You may have seen it before or not. It was given to me by the wonderful people at my vet's office. It came with a little memorial that had been cast in ceramic of Buddy's footprint.......Read it if you want, it's very sweet and may make you feel better for the moment) :

Heaven got a STAR today
And earth seems somehow dim.....
On angel's wings you went to God
And leapt, four footed to him!

Wait for me, my dearest
Though you're gone I'm not alone....
You've left pictures in my memory
And paw prints on my soul!
5 Sep 2005
Buddy, the cutest and sweetest and most special ferret in the world, died Saturday morning. I am having such a hard time dealing with this. I want the pain to stop, but it just keeps growing it seems. Even worse to me is his birthday was coming this week. He would have turned 6. I wish he could have made it to his birthday.

Buddy was older and he had some minor issues with normal ferret illnesses, adrenal and insulinoma, etc. But he was happy and doing fine when that freaking hurricane hit and took our power for 4 days. He had to be moved from the upstairs part of the house where his world was, where he could run free and sleep wherever and do as he pleased, because of the heat factor, to the lower level where it was cooler.

I had to put him in his cage downstairs where he was locked up for the most part due to people and cats and open windows and such, for his own protection.

I noticed a little change in his activity but thought it was simply due to the heat, as these little guys don't handle higher temps well. I did call his doctor to discuss heat problems and what to watch for. I kept him cool with a wet cloth and water on his fur. He was eating and seemed okay. He was checked on every hour or so and was taken out and played with or touched and held and given special human only treats....

On Weds afternoon, after I had checked on him previously about 45 minutes before, I came in and he was laying out on the top level of his house, like a dog does when they get hot. I honestly thought he was dead at that moment as he never lays like that, but again, it was hot. I immediately checked him and he responded, raised his head and knew I was calling him. He moved. Fine. So not even five minutes later I checked on him again and he didn't respond. I opened the door and grabbed him out and he was just limp. Drool coming out of his mouth.

I rushed him to the clinic where they were waiting in emergency mode. They checked his blood sugar and temp. His sugar was 26, temp was 107. The lowest acceptable blood sugar in a ferret is 54. The temp should be 102. So his sugar just plummeted for some reason and his temp was high because of not having any power for AC.

They got him cooled off and his sugars coming up and he was doing better. They wanted to keep him for the day and return him home that evening. I got called a half an hour before time to pick up and was told he had a seizure and they were going to keep him overnight at the ER clinic.

I called and checked on him every three hours through the night and morning. He returned to the regular clinic on Friday morning. Had another seizure as they were bringing him in from the car. He continued to have small seizures through the day. I went to see him that afternoon and it broke my heart. He was trembling from the seizures and he wasn't aware I was there. I took his little sleeping blanket so he would have something familiar with him. So I wrapped my hand in the blanket and took him from the incubator and just held him as long as I could, but it was so hard to see him like that.

I had to leave after about half an hour. I couldn't bear it. I was crying and just completely out of composure. I was upsetting all the people in the vets office, they were getting upset because I was so upset. They were all so kind to me and compassionate. A great group of people in that place.

However, I just knew in my heart from that moment when I laid him back on that pillow with his blanket in the incubator, that I would never see him again, that he wouldn't come home again, ever.

I cried so hard on the way home. Oh it was horrible.

They sent him to the overnight ER clinic that Friday. I checked on him and his doctor had prescribed a sedative so he would stop having the tremors from the seizures once his blood sugars were high enough to be safe for the sedative. He wanted him to get rest. They told me he was not shaking anymore and was knocked out pretty good for rest.

At 7:15 am, my cell phone rang. I knew.........I knew. Doctor Riddick was on the other end and she said she was so very sorry, but that Buddy had just passed away. The sinking feeling, I will never forget.

He was my special little boy. My only child basically. He taught me to love and so many other things. He was always right there by me. Making me laugh, amazing me with the crazy ferret things he'd do. Funny and sweet all rolled into one.

I've shed more tears and worried more about his being gone than anything ever in my life. I am grateful to him for making the decision to go in his sleep though. I knew, even though the doctor had said he wanted to give him another day because this was something they can recover from if there is no permanent brain damage, which he didn't think there was as Buddy had been eating and responsive when he wasn't having seizures.....but I knew he wouldn't recover in my heart and I was dreading having to make the call to end his sweet little life. So he did that for me. His one last act to make his master happy.

I will keep crying, I will keep seeing and hearing him, everywhere I go. I don't know when I will get through this, but it won't be soon.

There's a huge empty spot in my life and heart. And my heart really is broken. It really is.

Now I am going through the "what if?" stage. I think maybe it was my fault and that if had acted on his actions sooner and just not assumed it was simply a little heat that was making him kinda slow down......if I had just known, he would probably still be alive right now. I feel like I failed him, I let him down.

He would have had his little ferret birthday next week, six years. And we always sang happy birthday to him and gave him a special sweet something to eat.

One day I'll get through this though. I hope. One day. But he will always be gone from my life and that will never go away.

I miss him so much and I love him even more. HE was my boy and I was his dad. He had a great life and probably better than some people's children. He was loved like a child. He went wherever he wanted, he ran free in the part of the house that was his. He didn't pass his days locked in his cage ever. Unless it was special reason for his own protection, like house repairs or carpet cleaning, etc. Most of the time he was in his cage was because he chose to go in and sleep in his hammock. He could sleep in his cage or under the bed or in the closet. He ate when he wanted to, only the best ferret food you can buy and lots of human food too. He loved spaghetti and lima beans, potato chips, iced tea and ice cream and his favorite of all, mayonnaise. He had the best medical care and one of the best ferret doctors in the southeast region. He had a great life, he really did. He will be so very missed.

Goodbye sweet Buddy, I will forever miss you baby boy.

Thanks everybody for letting me put this out here. Sorry it was so long.

Buddy's dad.

Last Visitors

14 Sep 2015 - 16:05

13 Nov 2014 - 18:49

29 Jul 2014 - 16:18

17 Mar 2014 - 15:46

8 Oct 2013 - 18:39

Hope my last comment not posted.Dont quite have the hang of this just yet.Anyway-so VERY sorry about your 'Buddy' the Ferret.I've always loved those.Thank you for sharing your story.It helped some.My husband & I are both grieving & it's awful! (He used to hate cats) First I got 'Gus' (18 yrs) Eventually had 'Blue'(Long story) Anyway - we're brokenhea
13 Nov 2014 - 19:10
How adorable! I've always loved ferrets - but much husband just didn't agree with getting one. But hey - he used to hate cats.My Gus & Cooper & ESPN I ALL BLUE changed his mind.He is grieving as much as I am.Thank you SO much for sharing your story.Its very helpful to know that we are not alone in our grief, that we are not crazy because it's "only an animal". (This
13 Nov 2014 - 19:02

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