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> Losing My Precious Friend Today, Final goodbye today
post Jul 23 2018, 05:07 PM
Post #1

Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 2
Joined: 22-July 18
Member No.: 9,193

I'm taking my precious kitty, Karma, to the vet today to join the angels.
For nearly ten years (I adopted him when he was about five) he has
brought nothing but joy to my life. He has been the most wonderful
pet anyone could ask for, cheering me and comforting me through
some very rough times.

He is right beside me as I type this. He has oral squamous cell carcinoma
and my husband and I took pictures this morning of the changes that
have occurred since his diagnosis about a month ago. We have
given him pain meds and steroids since then, but when the vet
got the new pictures we emailed her this morning, she said
Karma's jaw is starting to separate and that even the pain
meds will no longer help much. She said the photos showed
he is clearly in pain and that it can only get worse.

So my husband and I are taking him for euthanasia early
this evening for the vet's last appointment of the day.
This is so, so hard, because this cat and I are so very close.
Last night he slept curled up against my stomach, but
he woke me several times during the night by pawing
at me as if to ask me to do something.

Then this morning he ate some turkey baby food, but
didn't finish it. Until this morning his appetite has
been almost ravenous, but we can tell it's now
hard for him to eat. The change was literally overnight.

What's made this even tougher is that in every other
way, Karma is healthy and strong. Just last night
he jumped from the top of the sofa to the top
tier of the cat tree. He doesn't isolate himself even
today and has remained right at my side all
day. I'm finding this to be one of the hardest
things I've ever had to do...letting him go before
the suffering and pain get even worse. I'm doing
this for him, because to cling to him as long
as possible would only mean to see him continue
to suffer and possibly be in agony even with the
pain meds.

If any of you have been wrestling with this same
kind of decision, I would appreciate any support
and input you can give me. Chances are that
by the time you read this, Karma will be gone.
But I will still be here...and I came to this forum
because I know my grief will be terrible for
a while and that others have been through this
and perhaps can support my decision
(along with the vet's) to take a chance
on doing this a few days too soon rather
than even a day too late.

Thanks in advance....I'm heartbroken
and I'm already grieving, tears
pouring down my cheeks, because in just
two hours, my beautiful pet who is
even now right beside me will be gone from
me forever. He's been the dearest, sweetest,
most wonderful pet anyone could hope for.
I will miss him so, so much.

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post Jul 23 2018, 08:50 PM
Post #2

Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 13
Joined: 16-March 16
From: Colorado
Member No.: 8,808

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I also had to make the decision to set my boy Buck and my girl Bobbie free of pain and sickness. My heart truly breaks for you.
It's called love. To be able to set our babies free of pain knowing the pain we are going to endure ourselves. I'm thinking about you and I hope you are doing ok.
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post Jul 23 2018, 11:34 PM
Post #3

Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 2
Joined: 22-July 18
Member No.: 9,193

Thanks so much, Jud. Yes, I agree that the most loving thing we can do for a terminally ill pet is to let go before the worst
of the suffering sets in. I really believe my cat's remaining good time was running out...it would have been only a day or two
additional before he would have been unable to eat or drink, and the vet said his jaw was starting to separate....he would
have been in agony within days. Thanks again for your message.

QUOTE (Jud @ Jul 23 2018, 08:50 PM) *
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I also had to make the decision to set my boy Buck and my girl Bobbie free of pain and sickness. My heart truly breaks for you.
It's called love. To be able to set our babies free of pain knowing the pain we are going to endure ourselves. I'm thinking about you and I hope you are doing ok.

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post Jul 24 2018, 10:35 AM
Post #4

Forum Moderator

Group: Moderators
Posts: 8,088
Joined: 20-July 08
From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861

Hi, Kathy, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Karma. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Kathy, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. From what you share with us there is no doubt that you and your husband did everything in your human and humane power to give your beloved Karma a happy and healthy earthly journey. Your beloved Karma knows that you love him and is eternally grateful for releasing his sweet Living Spirit from his failing, frail physical body. Your decision is made from the deepest love you have for him - - you put his needs above yours especially at a time when your heart is breaking under the burden of deepest sorrow.

This is what love is, Kathy. And the good news in the midst of all this pain is that the love bond you and your beloved Karma share is eternal - - it is not restricted by the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Karma's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I, too, know how painful it is to live without the sweet physical presence of a beloved companion. I have shared on this forum the heart wrenching decisions I have had to make for three of my beloved companions: My beloved canine companion Oslo, and my beloved feline sibling companions Abbygayle and Noah. My beloved, brave little boy Noah, who is my last surviving feline companion, joined the angels on November 11, 2017. From my personal experience with my beloved companions who have succumbed to various forms of cancer I so well understand how quickly our beloved companions' body can deteriorate from the insidious tentacles that cancer imposes on their bodies. So I do know what you are going through, and even now the particularly incredibly painful physical loss of my beloved Noah can be emotionally overwhelming for me.

I also know so very well from firsthand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep sorrow there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Karma with us, and for the wonderful picture of your handsome boy. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Kathy, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,

In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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post Jul 24 2018, 10:44 PM
Post #5

Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 1
Joined: 11-July 18
Member No.: 9,183

Attached ImageI had to put my Emma down 2 weeks ago today. She too had squamous cell carcinoma under her tongue. She was 15. I can't describe the ache that pains me inside my chest every time I think about the last moments of her life....It's lonely without her and I haven't really slept. I go in and out of denial and belief very frequently as I stare at the empty spot where she used to sleep on the couch. I can relate to the devastation that you feel and honestly 2 weeks in, it doesn't feel any better. There's a huge emptiness radiating inside of me and I'd give anything to feel like myself again. Unfortunately, a major part of me isn't here anymore and maybe some day I'll get used to that. As for right now though, I still expect to see her when I come home from work. Or hear her when I'm laying in bed at night. "She was my favorite hello and my hardest good-bye"
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