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Mary k Par
61 years old
Female
Highlands Ranch, CO
Born Oct-5-1962
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Joined: 7-September 14
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Last Seen: 25th September 2014 - 10:28 AM
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Mary k Par

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21 Sep 2014
Hello, all.

I had posted in a different forum, but after giving it some thought, I decided this one was more appropriate. If I made the wrong choice, I sure do apologize.

We adopted Halle in 2006 and the rescue told us they thought she was about 6 years old then. I think they may have misjudged by a couple of years, because she's always had the grey muzzle and the fact that she could and would jump the fence to go after other dogs made me think she was more spry than anyone thought. It was a rough start, to be sure, but she and I formed a very unusual bond. Like many other dogs, she picked up on emotions very easily, but unlike some dogs, it really bothered her to see me or my daughter upset or sad. For the last 18+ months of her life, I gave her insulin shots every 12 hours and started to take her every other week to an animal acupuncturist for arthritis. In December she tore her ACL, but we decided it would be more dangerous to do the surgery at her age and current health problems. Almost without fail, in any type of weather she and I would have our morning walk. It was our time and as she slowed, it became less exercise for me and more for her. I indulged her incessant need to sniff at everything. After all, I knew our time together was getting shorter and shorter. It's the least I could do to let her have this joy, no matter how crazy it made me.

This past June, she really started to slow down. She no longer got up when I came home or when my husband came home from his business trips, or when her favorite kid came home. We went to one of her many dog beds to say hello and love on her. She still made it up the stairs to sleep with us though, where she also had a couple of dog beds. Spoiled! On June 21, we were at my neighbor's house visiting her best buddy, Lucy. She had really perked up and had so much fun! That night my daughter came home from a week long trip with her father. Normally Halle would have been beside herself with excitement, but the spark was gone from her eyes and she wouldn't get up. I knew. I KNEW something was not right. I didn't want to see it, and made all kinds of excuses in my head. I was NOT ready to say good bye. That night, around 12:30 AM she woke me up by crying, a very different cry. I jumped out of bed and turned on the light, and she was looking at me almost pleading with me to help her. She could not get up. I hoisted all 80 pounds of her to her feet, and it was like her back legs were Jell-O, and she fell back down. I called our emergency vet, and we gathered the 3 kids who still live at home to be with her. I then called my oldest daughter at her apartment to let her know we were taking Halle and this might be time to say good bye. She met us there. We think, though we aren't sure still, that she may have suffered a stroke. We made the decision to let her go. It was NOT the way I wanted it to be. I had it planned where it would be quiet, in our home with her favorite toy (the only stuffed animal she never tore apart) next to her and her laying on her blankie. But here we were in the middle of the night in a strange place with a vet whom I'd never met. She gave us all the time we needed for good byes, brought a jar of peanut butter for her to snack on along with all sorts of oreo cookies. Haha! She was so happy! But the time came and we knew we could not put it off. My sweet Halle girl passed surrounded by a family that loved her as unconditionally as she loved us, with her head in my daughter's lap. I was the last one to leave. I laid next to her and told her I was sorry, that I hoped I did right by her. And then I left. It's been 3 months and I miss her every minute of every day. I function, I work, I take care of the house. But every time I come home I still look for her. I had surgery in July and on the way home from the hospital I thought briefly, "It will be nice to snuggle with Halle." I take walks still every day - more quickly of course!. I feel her with me every time.

Like I said, each animal will hold a piece of my heart, but Halle took something else. I wish it would stop hurting so badly. Thank you so much for letting me write this.
xoxo Mary
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9 Sep 2015 - 12:35

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