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From the time I was little, I was afraid of dogs. The large creatures' overly excitable nature was frightening and I avoided them as much as possible. When I was 8, my brother convinced my parents to get us a puppy and they reluctantly agreed. They were wary of my fear of dogs, but at the same time hoped that maybe having a puppy at home would help me overcome my fears.
As time passed, I got more comfortable with having a puppy and outgrew my fear. I am still wary of stray dogs, as one should be, but I am more comfortable approaching neighbors' dogs or dogs of family friends.
When I was 11, I lost my 2 best friends in a span of 4 months. These losses took a great toll on me and I began to withdraw from everyday life. I went to school, but I sat silently in class, I ate alone at lunch and was no longer excited to share the events of my day after school. When I got home, I ate dinner quickly, with minimal interaction with my family, before escaping to my room for the evening. I would lie awake at night, praying for sleep to come, but when it finally did, I awoke screaming, tangled in my sheets.
This pattern continued for 3 years, with one exception. Instead of lying awake at night, I would sit downstairs with Annie, my best friend. I told her everything, I cried into her fur, and I often fell asleep against her. I admitted things to her that I wouldn't even admit to myself. I shared with her what I couldn't share with my own parents.
She was my salvation for many years. She gave me the courage to stand up to my parents and to switch schools. She gave me the confidence and the strength to test for my black belt in martial arts. She taught me how to have faith in myself when no one else had faith in me. She gave me the will to live.
This past september, just a few days after my 16th birthday, my worst fear was realized. Annie had terminal cancer. They said that she had 8-10 weeks at most. My world began to crumble around me and I slipped back. My grades slipped, I went hungry and I spoke to my friends very little. To please my mother, I set a date for my birthday party. As the days passed, I focused solely on being with Annie. I called to check on her multiple times a day and hurried home from school and often arrived late to spend more time with her.
My brother came home from college that Thursday and my birthday party was set for that Saturday. Friday morning, I went to school in a fairly sour mood. My mom was taking Annie to the vet again and I was going to call at lunch to find out what happened. I dialed the familiar number and tried not to think about the reason. When my mom answered, it was clear that she had been crying. She told me that it was time and asked if I wanted to do it that afternoon or the following morning. I agreed with a heavy heart to do it the following day.
I hung up the phone and summoned my friends. I explained that the party was canceled before telling my teachers that I would be out for the rest of the day. Sitting in my study hall, I stared straight at the clock, trying to block out the sounds of everyone else discussing their weekend plans. I bit my lip to hold back the tears and kept them back until I got into the car a few minutes later. I sat with Annie and cried for the rest of the day.
The following day, my world ended. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I needed to go home to Annie to make me feel better, but that wasn't possible, it never would be again.

Dear Annie's best friend, I am completely in tears from reading about your loss, I am so so sorry that you have to go through this loss at this time in your life, so young to have to let someone you love go, someone you would have wanted to keep with you for the rest of your life. Annie was such a guide for you, more than a best friend more, much more, I know she was also your light, your comfort and your angel. Know that your angel is still right next to you, I truly believe it that when your heart is in the right place such as yours is, when your love is pure as yours is, there is no time delay, Annie is right with you, you will see, you will feel her with you for the rest of your life. When you aren't sure of something, don't be afraid to cast your questions into the air and Annie like a sublte quiet thought will inspire you. Maybe she can't change the outcomes of your life, but she will guide you, just keep believing that she is in your heart now, because she is. She will see you through life's good and bad times and you will feel her give you strength. and so it will go on that way, you and your secret Annie will last into eternity She brought out the very best in you but this was to be expected because you had brought out the very best in her as well, how grateful she must be to you, think of this when you are sad, think of how precious your turning towards Annie must have been for Annie too. How beautiful you were with your Annie, how unselfish, especially at an age where selfishness rules you were above that.
I implore sweet Annie to breathe a little hope on your poor beaten heart.
Believe in Annie, for her love still pants for you, in a more quiet but just as strong way. Take care dear heart and may life bring you all the beauty and peace and happiness that you so much deserve. Hugs.

Hi Annie's best friend,

I understand your pain but I feel for you that you had to experience so much grief by the age of 16. I recall my teens and the emotions that exploded that were so out of my control. I can not imagine losing someone who I loved so much. You seem wise beyond your years but I am so sorry that you had to go through this pain. I do believe that your Annie and my Duffy are now, safe and happy and young again at the Rainbow Bridge. I also believe that you now have a loyal and faithful angel who will accompany you wherever you go for the rest of your life. It is difficult to lose someone you love at any age and it is something that all of us must go through in life many times. It is worth it to have loved and been loved, though. My heart goes out to you and please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss. Please feel free to share your memories of Annie when you are ready. We all love to hear about each other's furbabies. We also all love pictures- they help us heal.

Hugs and best regards.

Annabelle,

I am so very sorry. I know your grief over losing your best friend. I wish that you did not have to suffer this loss. I hope you find comfort here where we have all lost our friends. My Annie is gone also and I am suffering too.

Annie's mommy

Anniebelle,

I have something more to tell you. Look for your Annie... in her favorite spots, in the day, and especially at night. Look for her in your dreams. I am sure she is there. No, not as easily found as before, but her precious presence is wrapped all around you. I know it is so very hard. Please know we understand.

Annie's mommy

You painted a picture I read through tears. We all know your pain. The cir%%stances may be different but the agony of the pain and the loss never is. I'm sorry for you and I'm sorry for Annie. I've lost more than 1 baby from cancer. My Little Guy..who I just lost also had it all really happen in just about 8 short weeks...from cancer. It is an enemy we cannot prevent. All we can do is try and prevent the suffering it can cause.

Annie is a part of you..now and forever. She was the reason you turned negatives into positives in your life. She is still watching you and would be so very sad to see what she was responsible for...come undone. For her...try baby steps when you feel you can..to get back at least part of what she helped you to do with your life.

The pain can feel paralyzing and overwhelming. The fresher it is...the worse it is. There is nothing we can do to prevent it..what we try to do is lessen it. Every baby I have lost in my lifetime caused this pain but I always managed to keep on bringing new ones into my life eventually to give them love they need and to recapture some of the love I need....which I lost everytime I lost a baby.

A mom here said it best when she said something like: The pain of losing her will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing her. Force yourself to think about the joy Annie brought into your life just by being with you. The love and the memories of happy healthy times can't be taken away. But when the loss is fresh...that is the hardest time dealing with anything. This forum can help. Post here as often as you feel like it..share your feelings..and your good stories. You painted a picture already of sad and happy times. Use your post as an outlet for your thoughts and your feelings.......we are here to cry with you or just send you a hug that says we have been there, we are there, and, most importantly...WE UNDERSTAND!