I lost my Samantha in May 2013. It has been a difficult struggle with her being gone. I have become upset at times and it is because of rude comments from some that do not help my grieving process or anyone's if they should receive such comments after losing a dear furry loved one. Mean comments can cause us more trauma and set backs of our grieving even more when people are cold hearted. One comment and it did not come from this website, but the comment was, "You are not the only one to lose a fur baby". I thought this rather a cold and callous statement. We all grieve in our own way in our own time. This person thinks that I should just shut off their feelings towards my Samantha and this person is the only one who should be allowed to get attention when she feels she needs it. I was not even talking about the loss of Samantha. This person read a website regarding Samantha. I did not ask for anyone's opinions. I only place memories into Samantha's diary for me to read when I felt I needed to so I can get through the day with remembering the fun things Samantha and I did together. However, some people stop in and make rude comments. It upset me so that I closed down Samantha’s web page and found a private diary online only for me to read when I wanted to be closer to Samantha. It very much upset me about this comment and comments from others. After this comment was made to me, I became angry. I am now angry all the time and I know it is part of the grieving process. I feel people have not allowed me to have my own space also, with my grieving and that does not help matters either. Sometimes I just want to be alone and I am sure some feel the same way. We just want a moment to stop, have a quiet time, and reflect on our beloved babies we lost. I just do not understand people anymore, as it seems they only think of themselves and do not think about the other’s person’s feelings. Do not think of the person who is suffering from a loss. I had a very strong love with Samantha and I know everyone here has also had a strong love for his or her beloved furry baby. I feel badly for those of us who have to endure the rude comments when we are in so much pain and struggle at times to just get through the day. We feel such emptiness. Sometimes I wish I could just turn around and see Samantha looking at me and wagging her tail. To run to her and hug and kiss her.
These rude commenter’s have lost furry one’s themselves and I would think that they would understand, but it’s the opposite. Boy, it really hurts. I just cannot turn off a switch and forget about Samantha. It is humanly impossible to turn off our feelings for something we loved so dearly. It would not be a normal human response. I am sure many have felt the same way. We just cannot turn our feelings off. I do not want to turn off my feelings as to me someone has no heart by shutting feelings out. Our babies are not just things as some seem to think. No, they are living breathing individuals that God gave to us. For us to love them and they love us. Sometimes, I think the phrase, “The more I get to know people, the more I like my dog” is a very true statement. I was a critical care nurse for many years and could never shut off my feelings for my patients. I would cry and cry and thought maybe I shouldn’t cry when some of my patients passed on and it really hit hard when I had young teenagers die such as from auto accidents. A doctor told me one time, “Sue, when a person stops crying then that is when a person stops caring” and to this day, I still believe that statement. So, when the tears need to flow I will not stop them. So in saying that I know none of us can just stop caring, crying, and feeling the love we had with our furry children. If we did not care, we would never have had them as our furry children.
Anyway, not to rattle on but, I really do hope and pray that none of you have received rude comments during your loss and if so I am so very sorry because it really does hurt. It tears at your heart. It is a constant ache. In time, the pain will pass, but for now, the road has been difficult. Please take care of yourselves and do what you feel is best for you. Your furry baby wouldn’t want it any other way.
God bless you all!

Sue

Hi, Sue, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Unfortunately some people really do not understand that the physical loss of a beloved companion is as painful as the loss of a human family member or friend. I am so sorry that your diary was subjected to rude and cruel comments, but am glad you have found a new website where you can post your entries privately. And I hope that you know you can share what is in your heart with us with the assurance that each of us DO know what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Thank you for sharing your beloved Samantha with us, Sue. I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Samantha's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing,

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you for your kind response. Everyone on here is so nice. I am glad I came to Lighting Strikes. It's nice we all can talk of our beloved furry ones, share our good times, and our trying times. This is the only place I feel comfort. It has still been a rough road. There are still days filled with tears and I am sure many are having those days too. I wish I could take everyone’s sorrows away. It hurts when I cry and I know many also hurt. There is actually a hurt in our hearts. I have lost furry kids before, but now that I am grieving again, I never realized there is a physical ache in my heart. It’s not a heart attack, but it feels like a tightness every time I cry. It feels like my heart is being ripped out. I cry now as I write this. I wish we all could have our beloved furry babies just for one more hug and kiss. When Samantha passed on, I hugged her and kissed her so many times. I thought I probably gave her enough kisses and hugs, but that is not so at the present. I wish she were here so I could hug and kiss her many more times and tell her over and over how much I love her. Does anyone else feel this way? We could touch their soft fur and look into their beautiful loving eyes.
I wish our furry babies would just pop in physically on occasion and say, “Hi mom and dad. I am doing great and I come here today to give you extra hugs and puppy kisses to help you get through your loneliness”. It has been said that our furry babies’ spirits are with us at all times. That they are walking along side us on our hectic days and they are watching us. I feel they are with us and when we cry they want to wipe our tears away and tell us everything is okay. They want to tell us how much they love us, but we can't hear them. Someday we will all see our babies again and can make up for the lost time. Poor Samantha, as she would be smothered with hugs and kisses. I don't think I could ever stop smothering her when I see her again. I just wish now every once in awhile we could see them. See them healthy, happy and know they are having fun with others at Rainbow Bridge.
I wish we all could meet some time and share our experiences with one another. I know that would be difficult to do as everyone lives so far away from each other and we all have obligations such as careers, furry and human kids to care for, etc. We all could have a laugh or a shoulder to cry on.
Having Lightening Strikes gives us the opportunity to be close. If LS was not here, I would be lost. I do not get on here enough and I should. I would enjoy talking to many and seeing if there is anything I can do to ease the pain or to share a laugh.
Thank you all for your warm kindness and bless you all. Bless all your furry babies.

Sue

Dear eskie2002,

First of all, I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Samantha. I feel like you do, I wish our babies could pop in and visit us. Wouldn't that be wonderful.....Our Mickey has been gone 2 yrs. 4 months and I still have my crying spells. He was so special.


I thought you might like this poem I found:


I Haven’t Left At All


I saw you gently weeping as you looked through photographs
You paused for just a moment at one that made you laugh.
But as you turned more pages the tears began to flow
You whispered that you missed me but I want you to know;
I softly licked those stinging tears that down your cheeks did fall
I want to help you understand I haven’t left at all.

On those days that you are overcome with sorrow, pain and grief
I rest my head upon your leg to offer some relief.
When you take our walking path I’ve seen you turn around
Because I know you surely heard my paws upon the ground.

At night while you are sleeping I snuggle at your side
You stroke my fur as you touch that place where I used to lie.
You said it’s just your heart playing tricks upon your mind
But rest assured I’m really there, my spirit’s left behind.

I know your heart is hurting; it’s like an open sore
You think my life has ended and you won’t see me anymore.
But for those of us bound tight by love, death is not the curtain call;
It’s really the eternal beginning that waits for us all
So, dear mommy and daddy, as you live your life I patiently await
For us to be together when you pass through Heaven’s gate.


May God Bless and Comfort You,

Hugs,

LoveMyMickey

eskie, my condolences for the loss of your dear Samantha. I agree that some people just don't get it, while others are too rude and self centered to care about anyone else's feelings. Don't let them bother you. There are plenty of folks who do understand how you are feeling and identify with your sense of loss, especially the good people here. Cherish your memories of Samantha and never believe anyone who says "It's just a dog". We know in our hearts that it isn't true.

Thank you LovemyMickey,
The poem is lovely and I am printing it out and hanging it on my refrigerator to have it available at all times especially when I am feeling low.
I am so sorry of your loss of Mickey. I wish Mickey and all our furry babies could visit us and we could see them. What am I saying. They do visit us everyday and the poem you sent me shows that. I watch TV in my bedroom and I keep my bedroom door closed so my new baby doesn't have run of the house while I am training her. But sometimes my bedroom door opens by itself and it may sound strange, but I sometimes think maybe it's Samantha's spirit opening the door to get into the bedroom. Samantha wants to watch me and her new little sister (Daphne, Samantha's Little Daphne). Samantha used to open the bedroom door by herself. I am sure you find things about your home reminding you of things Mickey used to do.
You mentioned you still cry and there is nothing wrong with that. You have a right to. It is healthy to cry. That shows you have a great love for Mickey. Mickey can see you sobbing and says, "Mom really misses me and I miss her to". They truly are our children no matter what anyone says. I become frustrated when people say, "It was just a dog". To me those people are missing out on so much when they have that attitude. Our babies are special to us. I so wish they could be with us longer. I wish our babies could be with us our entire lifetime.
Again, thanks so much for the lovely poem. "I haven't left at all" is very true and I need to remember that especially when the emotions pour out and the loneliness again sets in.
Please take care and bless you. Mickey and Samantha are playing together right now. It gives me peace knowing Mickey and Samantha are not alone. They have many friends and loved one's from the past to play with. I keep telling myself that Samantha is with my father. Dad was a dog lover and I think he is playing with Samantha and taking care of her.

xoxoxoxoxox

Love,

Sue and Daphne

Thank you Jakes Grandpa,

You are so right. After what you wrote made me feel a lot better. Samantha was the love of my life. I will not shut my feelings down from what other people say. They tell us,'It was only a dog', but I am sure if the shoe were on the other foot they would think differently. We miss and cry over our loss of our furry kids and it needs to be that way. I would very much like to see some who have babies and have the attitude, 'It's was only a dog' and then they lose that loved one. How would they react then? I bet they could not turn their feelings off and if they could I believe they have deeper problems than we think.
As you said, these people are selfish. I could never say the things some say to us when we lose a furry child. I would feel a great amount of shame. Losing a furry child is the same as losing a human loved one as someone mentioned to me. I agree. These little buggers are our kids, they need us and we need them. I know they were sent here for us and we for them. The one's who have the cold feelings scare me because how would they treat a pet? Would they abuse and neglect them. They just do not know the joy these furry kids bring us. To them dogs are just a throw away toy.
Again, thank you for your kindness and I will always remember what you told me.
I hope you are doing well. Please keep in touch.

Sue and Daphne

Dear Eskie

Please accept my condolences on the homegoing of darling Samantha. And how unspeakably horrible for someone or ones to assault you with hateful words on a site on which you rightly expected understanding and support. These people are their own punishment. Pity them. They have never had the life-changing experience of having truly shhared the love of a special animal like your Samantha. My Gretta, the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived, went home more than two years ago after five wonderful years. She's the one I use as my icon here on LS. And like Love My Mickey, I still cry for her (like now). Then my Rufus, and half black lab/half Newfie was only with me for 21 months and ended up having his life cut short by spleen cancer - while I was half a continent away helping a critically ill sister. I cry so many tears at the thought that precious Rufus had to face this all alone (he was at a University Vet Hospital getting very good care, but where was his mommie?). No one to hold his giant head, no one to stroke his velvet ears, no one to tell him wht a truly GOOD dog he is, no one to reassure his heart with words of true love. Rufus, my brave boy.

Yes, Eskie, as MoonBeam says, our animals' spirits remain with us even though we can't see or hear them or pet their soft fir or look into their eyes, Rufus's eyes had the wistful look that meant he could see into eternity.

Eskie, this is the absolute best site I've ever been on on the net. People care. People understand. Only once in the two+ years I've been here I've only seen one rant - a cat person saying dog people were so arrogant. Oh well! She said that out of her deep pain and grief.

There are some truly amazing people here and I see that several of them have already written to you: MoonBeam, LoveMy Mickey and Jake's Grandpa. Isn't Love My Mickey's poem amazing? She wrote one in answer to one I had written to Gretta apologizing that I had not recognized that she was sick and that I had left her at the Unversity Hospital on her last night on earth.

These babies ARE our children. The is no divine law written on a stone tablet that says "children" has to mean "same-species." About human familes that adopt humn children, we always claim that it is love that makes a family. And we don't specify the species.

Please come here often, Eskie. We all get it. We all understand and we all care for and support each other. Welcome to our LS family - a family no one wants to join but are always happy that they did.

Gretta and Rufus's mom

Thank you for your kind support Gretta and Rufus's mom.

I agree with you. We go to a pet site thinking we need to support each other with our losses. But the site I was on had some nasty and rude pet parents. It surely does not help anyone to hear such things when they are grieving. The comment I received from one individual showed they are self-centered and what they said was hurtful. It sounded like they were saying Samantha was 'just a dog'. It scares me to think such people who have these behaviors. They own pets and so how do they feel when they lose their pet. Our furry kids are not throw away toys as some people think pets should be. Meaning once our furry child has to depart for the bridge that we should forget about them. It's not that easy and it's sad that some people believe we should forget about them. To me they never really had a strong bond with their pet(s) to only forget about them.
I live alone, a retired nurse, disabled, really have no family, so Samantha was everything to me. She was my family and sometimes they are the best family we have. She was with me through thick and thin for 10-years. She saved me once from near death as my former spouse attempted to kill us and if Samantha had not acted, we both would have been dead 7-years ago. She was not just a dog to me. She was like a daughter. A daughter who helped her mom get through some very hard times. Samantha showed me a great amount of love. Our Vet told me a few weeks before Samantha passing that Samantha was more worried about me than she was of herself and that she was fighting her hardest to stay alive for me. He felt she was worried about me being alone. It got to the point that Samantha could not fight anymore. Our Vet called her, 'The Rock of Gibraltar' when euthanizing her. I believe our pets do try to hang on for us and it is so so sad that some do not see this or want to try to see it. People that make the rude comments I feel sorry for as they will never experience the true love a companion brings us.
I am so sorry to hear about all your losses. You surely have been through a great deal. It had to be hard for you when Rufus left and you could not be there. Just remember you did what you had to and Rufus knows this. He is telling you that it is okay, mom, as I understand you had to take care of my auntie. Rufus was not selfish.
Rufus is with you every day as you mentioned their spirits are with us at all times. I do believe Samantha is with me everyday still watching over her new little sister (Daphne) and me. I sometimes wonder if Samantha is talking to Daphne as Daphne does some of the same things Samantha used to do. Daphne was a gift to Samantha from me. Unfortunately, Samantha could not hold on long enough to meet her new baby sister. I promised Samantha for two years I was going to get her a sister. Well, I did, but I waited to long. As soon as we learned of Samantha's cancer I set out to find her a sister and I found one, but she was a baby and wasn't ready to leave her mommy yet. I kept telling Samantha to hang on and try to wait for her new baby sister to arrive at our home. However, Samantha could not hang on any longer which was very understandable. Samantha passed on 3-weeks before Daphne arrived home. When I got Daphne home, I showed her pictures of her big sister (Samantha). I have pictures hanging up of Samantha above my bed and it's funny because as much as Daphne chews on things being a puppy, she didn't try to chew on Samantha's photos and one day she jumped up and kissed Samantha's pictures. I thought it was cute that she did that. Almost as if, she is respecting her big sister.
Rufus knows you loved him and he loves you a great deal. Same with Gretta. When their spirits are with you they can see the pain you have gone through and still going through. That shows them you had a deep deep love for them. I am glad Rufus and Gretta are not suffering anymore. I feel so bad for our pets that end up with disease. I always think they never did anything to hurt anyone and so why should they have to go through illness.
I entirely agree with you that we do not have to love just human children as we can love our furry children as our children too. That increases the bonding. I did not know this but I watched, "Dog's Decoded" by Nova and British scientist doing studies on dogs are saying our pets have oxytocin levels as we do. So when we bond with them such as holding them, petting them, kissing them, then they feel our oxytocin, then their oxytocin level increases, and it creates a greater bonding. I thought that was quite interesting. It also said on the program that dogs are good at reading their pet parents facial expressions. When we are sad, they know this when looking at us and then they react by doing something to make us feel better. I do agree with all of what these British scientists are saying. They said when we look at someone we usually look at the left side of the persons face first. They said our dogs do the same thing. They will look at our left side instead of the right side. I do not know if you have ever seen this program, but if you run into it then please watch it. I think it is on You Tube.
I am glad you wrote me. I feel a lot better. Many on here have helped me a great deal including you. I felt like I should just stop grieving over Samantha when these people made rude comments. Many tell me to not listen to them and I need to go through the grieving in order to heal. I think that is what all you are telling me here to that I need to not forget about Samantha and to grieve over her. It certainly is a huge loss for us to lose our furry babies and we can’t just turn it all off and forget about them.
Thanks Gretta’s mom.

Sue and Daphne

The photo is of Daphne. Samantha's baby sister.

Oh what an absolutely precious puppy! Just the thing a person needs to hug - a precious fur ball! Leave the mean people behind. Stick with us here on LS who are with you forever (really - some people post birthday wishes for their babies after many years - and this is so sweet and shows what kind of love they shared).

I can tell from your writings that you are a good and loving soul. Smantha was one lucky dog to have you as her mom. Of course you will grieve her passing, probably as long as you live. And your new little Daphne will do her kooky best to lighten your spirit and someday you will wake up and realize that you love her with the same love you had for Samantha.

Gretta and Rufus's mom

Sometimes miserable people make themselves feel better by making someone else feel worse.

I don't pretend to understand it, myself, but share your disgust. Been there, and heard them myself.
From people who are no longer in my life.