I started logging on here, but spent my time posting to other people because I could not bring myself to write this.



Nearly fourteen years ago, two abandoned kittens were found one cold raniy afternoon. They were huddled under a car in an apartment parking lot.
The Animal Control officer took the male, and a neighbor alerted us to the female, which we took in. When Sam was a kitten, she had hardly any fur, and was almost pink.
At the time, my wife was recovering from surgery, and was confined to bed.
So poor cold abandoned Sam suddenly found herself is a heated waterbed with a doting mother. She and my wife strongly bonded at once.
She has had astma for years, and in the last few months has been experiencing respiratory distress. I had dug the grave months ago, because we were afraid she would go in Winter when the ground was frozen.
It is the weekend now, and I have left messages for some local travelling vets, hoping one will help her out. She has now lost control of her hind legs. Though not in obvious pain, she is very unhappy. Failing a vet visit, I shall bring her early Monday when they open. Yes, I hate that, yes, I hate being the Angel of Death in this house. But each additional day now is morally wrong and selfish.

So close were she and my wife, that when my wife left once a week to teach her Art Classes, Sam would come running to me, howling, warning me that my wife was missing. For so many years, she was a frisky, loving trickster, that seeing her come to this state is particularly sad. She was loved by the relatives and nieces. A couple of weeks ago, one niece came to say Goodbye..Sam brightened, her ears perked up, and she did her best to be entertaining.
Today my sister-in-law came to say goodbye to her. She was heartbroken to see her going.

She and Iggy became friends quickly. She resented Zacchary, though. He's too young and obnoxious for her.

If we left for a weekend, she tried every device to stop us from going.


This leaves us with only Iggy and Zach now.

We are content that we gave Sam an exceptionally spoiled and pampered life, and spared no expense keeping her healthy and happy.

But now there is only one thing left to do. I have a large white quartz stone for her memorial.

Dear Jon, I am so very sorry to hear this news about your Sam. She is such a beautiful cat! I have never had a Siamese, but I know they are real talkers and very loyal and intelligent. Thanks for sharing how she came into your household. It is never easy saying good-bye to a beloved feline family member, no matter how many times we've done it before. You're in my thoughts and prayers.


Hugs,
DannysMom

Thank you. I have some more pictures of her in happier days. She and Iggy got along very well.

Sam loved Catnip..Perhaps a little too much:


She HATED to get up in the morning:


Friends, just hanging out...Iggy liked to STARE at her.


Friends...

Dear Jon---

So sorry to hear about Sam----know what your feeling--I had to put our 7 yrar old Mopi to sleep about 2 weeks ago due to lympatic cancer. It just broke my heart--know what you are feeling.

Mary

Jon,

I am so sorry to hear about Sam. You may be the Angel BUT do not consider yourself the Angel of Death. You have the strength and compassion to do what is best for Sam. That is not an easy job. I guess it is a "job" just as our stewardship of these beautiful creatures is but it is done out of love. If only we humans could have the choice for ourselves not to linger & suffer sometimes.

I had a dear older friend once who had cancer.... she told me the Dr. had not told her it was terminal. My reply was "being alive is terminal". She was such a dear sweet lady who was much ahead of her time and outspoken. She told me that was why she liked me so much because I think like she did.

I guess each of us must sort of try to think of the many years of happiness and joy they bring to us and prepare ourselves somewhat for that time they will no longer be physically with us. Easy for me to say huh? You bet, that is why I still come here 3-1/2 years after my loss ............ because it is so easy!

Humans can most times tell us it hurts, where & how much but unfortunately our fur kids cannot. We have to trust that since we've spent countless hours with them we know when they are ready & do not want them to suffer.

I too have a close bond with a Siamese (I don't tell him he is not a REAL Siamese.. his Mom was a barn cat...black & white....siblings both black...Father must have been a wanderer). I tell him he is handsome and he just turns his head back & forth as if to say "say that again! I know it, but say it again!"

My thoughts are with you, Sam and your dear wife who will miss her very, very much.

Ginger

Hi, Jon, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in your Anticpatory Grief of losing the physical presence of your precious Sam. I totally agree with what Flossie's Mom said: "You may be the Angel BUT do not consider yourself the Angel of Death. You have the strength and compassion to do what is best for Sam. That is not an easy job. I guess it is a "job" just as our stewardship of these beautiful creatures is but it is done out of love." Jon, there is no greater love than putting the needs of our companions above our own heart's wishes - - especially when it comes to having to ease their transition home to the angels.

Thank you so much for sharing your precious Sam with us, Jon. She is very expressive and photogenic. I know your and your wife's heart, and Iggy's, are breaking with knowing that your precious Sam will no longer be physically present. And when this becomes a "new reality" your hearts will break in a different way. Please know you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through, Jon, and that we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you, your wife, Iggy, and Zach are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how each of you are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Our first cat when we were married was an "Accidental" Siamese. She was remarkable...VERY smart and energetic, and fearless.


I know Sargent Jingles, a fine strapping handsome fellow, with the Siamese color and points and the DSH shape, and there is a lot to be said for the combination of sturdiness and beauty. One of the Cat Show Rules we have encountered is that many DSH contestants are not allowed to be shown if they contain Siamese genes. They look SO good, it is not fair.

I still have a copy of the Sargent Jingles you did for me on my computer. He has not gotten as big as your Iggie though I thought he'd become a good size fellow. Too busy roaming the yard & trees catching mice, gophers and an occasional bunny or bird I guess. He talks to me a lot but seldom yowls like Siamese can do sometimes. Just if I cage him in the car..... he prefers to travel in the "whole" car.

Seems we all remember most the ones who were here experiencing a loss or new beginning at the same time. I do remember the adventures of Iggy as I was more active here during that time.

Once again..... you all are in my thoughts........................ be strong for Sam.

Ginger

Yesterday a travelling Vet returned one of my calls, and was going to come here at 12:30 today.

Last night, after supper, I did a few chores, and walked into my wife's studio, to see her sitting in a chair, holding Sam, crying.

Sam had some trouble breathing. My wife wrapped her in a towel, and held her. Sam shivered a few times, and was gone.

When I had come in, my wife had been holding her body for about a half hour.

How like Sam, to say,
" I heard you make the appointment.
We do EVERYTHING by my rules, as usual.
Now call that quack and cancel, because I am tired, fed up, and now...Till Later. до свидания."

She died as she lived, with dignity, in control, and on her terms and time.

This does NOT make this a happy house, but there is closure at last.
She is buried next to Auntie Murphy, her friend.

Sweet Old Sam's dad

My heart is aching over the passing of Sweet Old Sam. In a way, it's a blessing that she showed you she was choosing her own time to go, just like she chose her own time to come into your lives. Sam is a powerful spirit-cat - one who will always be right there beside you and your wife, as Moonbeam says, just a breath away, doing waht she's always done - since time immemorial - watching over you, guiding your steps, making it perfectly clear what needs to be done ... and most important loving you and being loved by you. I don't know about yours, but my firmly held belief is that animals and people have the same kind of soul and that our beloved animal family members go on to a Perfect World. One of the strongest reasons i believe this is that after I had to let my Gretta - the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived - go last April, this ultimate man of rationality and science gave me three huge hugs and said something amazing: She's in a safe place now. Like Sweet Sam. She arranged her live and her passing so that no one would have to be the "Angel of death" (which no one ever IS, but they feeel like it). She could go peacefully, in the arms of her loving mother, warm and safe in a cozy blanket, surrounded by the love of both of you.

Rest assured that such a powerful cat will immediately be on her job in the Perfect World - organizing, teaching, counseling, coaching animals who couldn't learn ho on earth to play and romp and sleep exhausted in the warm sun.

Your strong honorable heart shows through your writing. Please be comforted by the fact that here, with your LS family, you are among friend who "get it" and are here to listen, confort and support you 24/7. We're a band of brothers and sister who hold each other up during the bad times and rejoice during good times. Welcome to the family. I only wish admission wasn't such unbearable heartache.

Gretta's mom

Hi, Jon, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Sam. There is comfort in knowing that she joined the angels wrapped in the loving warmth of her family in the surroundings she loved the most - - her home. Even though we try our best to "prepare" ourselves for "the moment" when our companions transition home to the angels there is always the painful reality to adjust to that someone very important in our hearts and home is no longer physically present. The good news is that your beloved Sam is no longer confined the failing physical shell she needed during her earthly journey with you. Her sweet Living Spirit is now free to be with you wherever you are and whatever you do continuing to share your earthly journey just as she always has and always will. She is forever a part of your heart and your memories - - she is forever a heartbeat close to you.

Thank you for sharing your beloved Sam with us, Jon. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Jon, please accept my sincere sympathies on the loss of your precious Sam. I am relieved for your sake and for Sam as well that you did not have to be the 'Angel of Death', and that your sweet Sam died on her own terms and with dignity. The coming days and weeks are going to be difficult, adjusting to living without Sam. I hope today is treating you kindly, Jon.


Hugs,
DannysMom