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Timba's Mom
59 years old
Female
Florida
Born Feb-1-1965
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Joined: 5-November 08
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Last Seen: 25th November 2008 - 01:56 PM
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Timba's Mom

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8 Nov 2008
I have been overcome with grief and guilt. Timba was about 6 weeks old when I took him to the Humane Society to be fixed this Monday (November 3rd). He was such a sweet, loving and trusting kitty. He was also an outside kitty. I wanted to bring him into the house to live, but we have six indoor cats and our house is very small. I spent extra time and effort in ensuring he and his mom, Cleo, had warm bedding, plenty of food, fresh water and toys. My husband and I even found him in the engine compartment of my son's car one day, so we always made it a point to call him out or to make sure we saw him before leaving for work each morning. I worried about him being outdoors, but Cleo always kept a close eye on him and so did we.

When I went to the clinic to drop him off for surgery the technician asked me if I wanted him tested for FeLV/FIV. I was thinking that I did want the test because I wanted him to be able to go in and out of the house. She then asked if I wanted him to be euthanized if he tested positive. I hesitated. I really didn't want him to be put down. Then I asked her questions about the possibility that a kitten would be positive. I thought his mom had been tested when I brought her in the previous week. No one said anything about FeLV/HIV. I just assumed. I had a cat die of FeLV a long time ago and it was horrible. I really didn't want Timba to suffer. But he looked so healthy. The worst part is that I signed the paper to have him put to sleep. I don't know why. I just didn't think it through. When I went to pick him up at the end of the day they told me they had put him down because he tested positive for FeLV. They never called me, before or after. I have been crying ever since. I did more research afterwards and found that kittens can falsely test positive if the mom has antibodies that are passed between mother and kitten. Also, some kittens are able to resist the virus and can test negative later. I felt even worse after that. I could have had him retested later, but now it is too late.

This is like some horrible movie that plays over and over in my head. The whys and what ifs can drive you crazy. I just wish I had realized the facts and risks of FeLV more clearly, especially for kittens. I also let him come in to play briefly with my indoor cats, so there is a possibility that they have been exposed. That is also a heavy burden, but one that I am approaching with my vet.

I think being able to share on this forum helps me to express how I feel. My husband encourages me to let it go because it is pointless to fret over my decision now. But that is not so easy for me. I pray to God each day for comfort and place my hopes that Timba is in heaven with all of my other cherished furry friends, waiting for the day we can be reunited.

I hope every cat owner will take the time to consider the risks presented by FeLV and that one test is not always definitive. Being an informed owner is so important. As simple as it may seem, never sign a consent form unless you have all the facts. Always consider that, no matter how healthy your pet seems, you are prepared for the worst case senario and that you are making the right decision.

Never assume anything. I assumed that Cleo (mom) was tested only to find out later she was not. I assumed that they would call me first if the test was positive and they didn't.

Never introduce a new cat to others without knowing if they have tested + or - for FeLV/HIV. There may be some risk to indoor cats because the vaccines are not always 100% effective. I would also recommend not having an outdoor cat come in and out of the household to potentially expose indoor cats. Free roaming cats may be at risk to contract FeLV from other outdoor cats even after they have been tested and found to be negative, and even if they have been vaccinated.

I am not an expert. However, if you do decide to test, please find out your options. Do your own research, but do it first. Always make an informed decision. FeLV cats can live long lives too and owners can make accomodations, even if you have other cats. Know that most feral and free roaming programs do not test for FeLV/FIV. They believe the best prevention is spay/neuter programs because there is a low percentage of FeLV/FIV in most feral colonies and by spay or neuter you keep the population and risks down.

I feel wretched. I miss you so much Timba. I am so sorry. I wish I could take it back and do things differently.

Missing you terribly,

Timba's Mom


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