A Sign From My Baby

I joined this website the other day when my ferret passed away.If you don'y know my story, Kismet was happy and playing three days ago before I went to work. When I got home I went to get him out of his cage and he had died. I was freaked out because it was such a shock. The vet said it looked like he had a tomor on his spleen that ruptured and there was nothing I could have done to help him. I've felt so bad becuase I wasn't with him when he passed like with my other animals and I was afraid he may have thought I neglected him because a month ago I had to put my oldest schnauzer to sleep and I 've been having to spend alot of time taking care of her. I moved his cage because I couldn't look at it but the table where it was looked so bare so I framed 2 pictures of him and put there. This morning I woke up very early because I couldn't sleep and noticed one of the pictures was turned at a different angle. I thought maybe it was a sign or I was losing my mind. I laid back down but couldn't go back to sleep and got back up and the same thing happened with the other picture. Ive been hoping for a sign because I've been so distraught i just want to die but I can't do that because my other animals need me. Most of them are rescues who have already been abandoned and I can't do that to them too. I work at a pet boarding facility taking care of special needs dogs and since April we've lost 4 dogs and I was extremely close to them and right now I feel like I'm drowning in grief. Yesterday at work we spread one of the dogs ashes and it was all I could do not to collapse. I'm sorry if I'm rambling I just felt the need to get all this out.

Devastated And Need Help 2nd Loss In A Month

This is my first time coming here and my first post. Yesterday I came home from work and went to let my ferret Kismet out of his cage and he was dead. At first I thought he was asleep until I touched him. He had been playing and happy that morning. I took him to my vet and they said his spleen was very large and it looked like a tumor had formed and ruptured. A month ago he wasn't feeling good so I took him in and they said his spleen was a little big but that was common and he bounced back from that. The vet said that there was nothing I could have done to help him and that it wasn't my fault but I still feel guilty because I wasn't with him when he passed and just a month ago my oldest schnauzer Bridget had to be put to sleep because of declining health. The past few months I've been spending so much time worrying about her that I hope he didn't feel like I neglected him. I am in shock and in despair. It just hurts so much. Bridget was 15 years old and Kismet was five years old. This is turning out to be the worst year of my life. Thanks for listening.