hi - im new to this site. i was wandering rather aimlessly yesterday trying to find a way to fill the emptiness and i found this website.

yesterday at around 10 am, i lost my beautiful little fred. ive had him for about 14 years. i had been looking for a little black cat and went to a humane society and was about to step in when a woman holding little fred, sobbing her eyes out, asked me if i was looking for a kitten. i hesitantly said yes because this was a little copper tabby, no bigger than the size of my fist. his huge green eyes stared at me. she begged me to take him, otherwise she would have to drop him off at the shelter. i really wanted a black cat, but how could i say no to a little kitten that needed a home. so i took him home with me. funny thing, about 3 months later i rescued a little black cat from the streets and he came home to become freds little brother; riley.

fred was momma's little angel. i didnt realize that until about 3 years ago when i went in for outpatient surgery and ended up staying for five days in the hospital. i attempted to call friends to go look in on my little ones but was so groggy and out of it that no one understood. when i was dropped off at my apt five days later, i was expecting to see two starving cats but instead they looked at me like, its ok mom, you always leave enough anyways. we just want you home. and during my recovery process which took about a month, fred never left my side. he was my little shadow. if i was in bed, he was in bed. if i attempted to walk somewhere, he was right behind me. when riley passed away, fred was there again. although he was grieving himself, he made sure he lay close to his momma.

a few months ago, fred was diagnosed with diabetes and although it killed me at first to inject him, he didnt mind at all. especially when he knew he was going to get his favorite treats right after. this past monday, after months of trying to get him regulated with different insulins, different units of insulin, i received a call that made me so happy. the insulin was working and it seemed like fred was in remission. so i was to stop the insulin immediately. he was fine until thursday. when i got home late from work, he had vomited the water that he'd been drinking. i wasn't sure what was happening. when he jumped on the bathroom sink he fell backwards (i was a little worried but then not because fred had only "learned" to jump less than a year ago). he was not a jumper at all. and during his "training" he had fallen a few times. that hadnt stopped him though. so i figured he hadnt timed it right. i kept an eye on him all thru the night. and at around 3am i noticed when he walked he stumbled. thats when i knew it was complications from the diabetes. i regretfully thought if we could wait it out a few more hours till his hospital opened, he would be ok. so i made him come to me and petted him and coaxed him to go to sleep but he didnt lie down like he normally does. he was fidgity and sat on the bed. at 730 fred and i were the first ones at the hospital. they took him in immediately and the dr came out a while later to tell me that fred was really sick but that he thought they could fix him although it would be about a week in the hospital and very costly. not caring i signed my life away. as long as my little "fwed" was ok. that night after work i visited him and he wasnt the same cat i had brought in. he couldnt hold his head up and would barely keep his eyes open. saturday, i was the first one there to visit fred and they gave me the wonderful news that his "numbers" were on their way up and he was feeling better. i held him and he responded to my voice. he would try and wiggle out of my arms (great sign as he hated to be cuddled. i did it all the time anyways) but saturday nite was a different story. he had crashed again and was worse than ever. the staff at the hospital was great. they allowed me to visit him in his cage. where i sat for as long as i wanted and talked to him and sang to him. later that nite, the emergency dr on staff called me to tell me his kidneys had begun to shut down and there was no hope. i rushed over again and held him and begged him to hang on for one more day. i wanted the loving drs that he knew to help him go and not an er dr that didnt know him. he did and sunday morning i rushed over and held him and sang to him as they administered the first of two shots. they wanted to make him go to sleep first so he wouldnt feel a thing. as they left him with me while the sleep medication kicked in, i talked to him and cuddled him and gave him hundreds of little kisses (he especially hated that) on his head. i stroked him and told him how much i loved him. and then i heard him take one last breathe and he was gone. my sweet boy, my angel from up above is gone. how do i go on? the hurt is so intense. the apartment is empty. my heart has a giant hole; one that is twice the size since riley passed last year. i miss my sweet boy waking me up at 630 for his insulin shot. i miss fred jumping on me while i watch tv. i miss fwed watching the dog whisperer with me. i miss his welcome home half meow every nite. i miss his soft fur as he would put his little face on mine. i miss trying to trim his nails as he howled and cried. i miss buying him toys that he played with for fifteen minutes and left. i miss him sleeping on the corner of my bed every nite. i miss him getting under the covers for a few minutes only because he knew mom felt better that he was warm. i miss him sleeping right in front of my little space heater. i miss my little boy so much.

Dearest Patricia;
You so have come to the right place! And my heart goes out to you as does my deepest of sympathies! From the sounds of it YOU were Fred's angel from his young start in life. It also sounds to me like he had the BEST MOMMIE ever! My loss is recent as it happened two weeks ago, and I felt the same you do right now, actually I still do, but the wonderful people here have let me ramble on and on about my Jasper! Today was actually the first day I didnt cry all day;till now, when I read your letter; and believe me my heart aches for you; I have no magic words to take away your pain or ease your sorrow, other then to tell you, keep coming back here, write to your Fred every day in here it will make you feel better, it truly has helped me!
Do you realize what a TRUE ANGEL you were that day when that poor woman for whatever reason had to give up her kitty, and Angel Patricia was there at the right time; at the right moment-to give Fred a HOME! To give Fred Love; to give Fred a forever purpose in his life! My dear; from what I can tell YOU were just wonderful for Fred, you did your best by him and most importantly you gave him LOVE! Maybe not today or tomorrow, but down the road, you will remember and want to share with us all the silly crazy things your Fred did. And believe it or not, from someone hurting still a great deal that it really does somehow make you feel good inside to share with other those silly things, cuz it brings a "peace" over you, and yet lets you remember those good times you had together.
I will ask my Jasper to keep a special eye on your Fred, as he may of been a big doggie he loved his kitties! Even mothered one that I kept for him. So I hope that helps you somewhat knowing that my boy will take care of your angel and keep him safe(will also wash him LOTS) and when its time he make sure YOUR FRED is at the rainbow bridge waiting for you;where you will both be together for ever again!
Please know this, I am very sorry for your loss, and all of us here know EXACTLY how you are feeling so come here vent cry yell talk anything you need to do to make you feel better, we are all here for you!
All My love hugs and Kisses to you and Your Angel Fred; Lisa Please consider yourself hugged from me{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}

Hi, Patricia, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Fred. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is never an easy decision to make but it is the last gift of love we can give to our furkids - - at great sacrifice to us - - so that they can go home to the angels with their dignity still intact. This grief journey can only be taken one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. It is also both physical as well as emotional, so it is important for you to do whatever comforts you as you now adjust your life to the physical absence of your precious Fred. Hopefully one day you will realize that his sweet living Spirit is still with you, and you will find comfort and happiness knowing that he is still with you as he always has been, that your relationship with him has only temporarily transformed to a different dimension. But for now this is little comfort to a broken heart. Please know you are among friends here who do understand what you are feeling, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Patricia, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I'm so sorry for your loss of Fred. You were at the right place at the right time that day all those years ago. I understand how hard it must have been for you to say good-bye. I wish I did what you did in giving my baby something to sleep first. It was one of the hardest days of my life. My heart breaks for you. (I'm writin thru tears right now)). Fred will always be your angel, following you forever. You were so lucky to have shared life together for 14yrs. Cherish his memory always. Love to see a picture of Fred when you get a chance..Hugs.. Ann

Patricia, As the others have said, you came to the right place, we all know how you feel and we all grieve with you. Our stories are all basically the same yet each is unique as our fur persons are unique. They are also very loved and very missied. Yet from each other here we reach to each other and we all get through a rough terrible time. While we can't make your pain go away, know that by coming here you won't bear it alone. That makes all the difference. I hope in the coming days your memories will bring you comfort and peace. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as I do for all who have lost special friends. Bless you all

Mark

thank you to all. your words mean so much. its so difficult to talk to people who have never had pets because they dont understand. they think its just a cat. but fred was not just a cat. he was my buddy and my family. he was my little angel. it been 48 hours now since he crossed over but ive been in tears since last friday. i thought today i may be all cried out but as i read each and everyone of your responses over and over again, i realized i still had plenty of tears to cry. thank you all for understanding. i stayed at work late yesterday. i didnt want to go home at all. it had been a rough day. freds doctor had called me in the morning to offer her condolenses and i lost it for the rest of the day. but as the clock moved towards the 6 marker my heart sank even further and i felt nauseous. i stayed till 8 and then my dreaded trip back home began. it was awful. when i opened the door, i didnt see my little monkey's face poke out of the bedroom door. his half meow used to crack me up. that was his welcome home momma. he always had that semi guilty face that would make me shake my head at him and ask him what he had done during the day. we had that conversation often. "did you spend the whole day sleeping again?" meow "you forgot to run the vaccuum again?" "the least you could do was wash the dishes" and he always had a reply. then we'd crack up and i would get his "din din" ready before his insulin shot. but today my little one was not waiting for me. as i walked to the kitchen i realized there was no need to hurry up and get his insulin ready. and there was no need to head towards the bathroom sink where i would open the faucet a million times during the night so he could drink from the "running" water. the minute he had discovered that (late in life) no more water bowl for him. its the little things that hurt the most. he would always sleep in the left hand corner of my bed. and he had to be on my old robe. the one he and his brother shared since they were little things. then once a night he would come sleep a little closer to mom, but not close enough where she could grab him and give him a bear hug. last night i could feel him but i couldnt see him. i hardly moved during the night because i didnt want to accidentally look to where he used to be and realize that he was not there. i thought i heard him a few times and i would sit up but he wasnt there. this morning i wasnt sure if i should leave the tv on. i used to leave it on so he could watch it and hear the background noise. so he wouldnt feel alone during the day. what do i do now? i left it on just in case he decided he wanted to come back. my life is shattered and will take a long time to recover from this. i miss my sweet little boy. and my heart goes out to anyone who has lost a pet because i wouldnt wish the way i feel on my worst enemy. thank you all for your comforting words.

Patricia,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Fred. Everyone hear can relate to the pain and sadness you are feeling. It will be 4 months since I had to say good bye to my Casey and I still can't believe he is gone. It does get somewhat easier with time, but my heart still aches for my little boy. Little things I see around the house reminds me of him and brings a smile to my face. We had 12 wonderful years and I cherished everyone of them.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Karen

thank you karen! i so appreciate the words of comfort as well as the prayers. every morning since fred passed away. i come to work and read the first entry i made. i read the replies and my heart settles. i feel like this is the only place that truly understands how i feel. even some of my closest friends are avoiding me as they dont understand and/or know what to say.. every morning i pray that god will give me the strength to get thru the day and i pray that i am overwhelmed with work so i dont have to think about the pain. the hardest part of the day is going home. i still cant get used to going home to an empty apt. i replay all of our little routines in my head. its like you said, little things around the house remind me of my sweet little one and the hurt is beyond belief. this is wierd but i feel like the happiness in my life is gone. i would give anything to have him back. anything. or just to give him one last hug. friday i have to pick up the rest of his little things: his robe/blanket and his carrying case. i am dreading that so much. its going to be rough day. i wonder lately why, if god blessed us with these wonderful beautiful creatures, why he takes them away from us. i dont understand that. momma loves you my sweet. i miss you every minute of the day. p

theres a beautiful song that now "belongs" to my little fred now. i have it on repeat and listen to it all day. i wanted to share the words:

Spent enough time in your (my) arms to know
Just where I want to be
I’ve heard your voice enough to know
Just what I need to hear
Baby I’m right beside you

All I need is a little more of you
All I need is a little more of you
All I need is a little more of you to go on

Laughed with you enough to know
Just how I want to feel
I’ve been with you enough to know
Just why I need you
Baby I’m right beside you

All I need is a little more of you
All I need is a little more of you
All I need it a little more of you to go on

{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} Patricia;

What a wonderful song for your Fred! I cant tell you how the words have touched my heart today, when I really need it! So THANK YOU so very much for sharing it with us all here.

As you take it day by day, I hope for you peace and the joy of remembering all those good times with Fred, and all those silly little things he used to do, that most of us with our furkids just look past and keep doing what we are doing, but of course it is marked forever in our mind.

I wish I could go for you on friday to pipck up his things, but since I cant be with you in person, I am with you in spirit. And my prayers will be even stronger on that, day as I know how hard it will be for you.

I still am trying to write a thank you, to the wonderful er vet Amy, that helped me with my Jasper, and I just cant bring myself to do it, and she was wonderful, caring, and loving.

Trust me, from someone who is new to this, I feel at home when I come here, and I know if they reply that's fine to my posting and if not that's fine, I cone here to talk to my Jasper, and just let him know I miss him and love him. I have to do what helps me and you will find the right thing that helps you. We never forget, we just learn to deal with the loss and the pain--me I am still in the learning process.

I will keep you in my prayers as I do all the wonderful people here.
Remember we all do care.
Lisa

back at you lisa. i wish i could give all of you that are suffering along with me a big hug. and you especially because you are new to this. im so sorry for your loss. i know your pain. its been a year since i lost freds little brother riley and i still havent gotten over it. i know that time heals. right now i wish we could fast forward to about 6 months from now.
i feel so honored to be amongst a group of people that can truly love. for me, part of my healing process will be to walk thru those doors on friday and like you wish to, thank all the wonderful staff and doctors that loved and cared for my little angel. lisa you have a big heart. take your time and write that note when you are ready to. i know its hard because it feels so final. take your time.
you as well as everyone are in my prayers as well. i pray that our sorrow will lessen and that one day we can smile when we remember our darlings.
thank you for your comforting words.

Your stories about Fred are absolutely beautiful. I just read your topic and at the end of your first post I was in tears...cause I could feel from you what you were feeling.

Cried out? Oh, there is a lot more of that to come and it is okay ...it is okay to cry. To do what makes you feel better.

There are two sayings Moms here have said that helped me, when I fall back into sadness:

1. The pain of losing him will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing him.

2. I have sent you on a journey to a land free from pain, not because I did not love you but because I loved you too much to force you to stay.

Powerful thoughts that have helped me bear it all.

14 years....I am so glad you had that time. My Little Guy was just over 16 years and I am thankful for that time but his end came fast also.

We never would trade all those years and moments of happiness to avoid the horrible pain and sadness at the end..when it is their time to go.

Reading your story....I was uplifted when you spoke about the insulin working...then dropped down into despair as I read the rest of it. You did everything you could...and more. Fred knew you loved him just as much as he loved you. It is just devastating not to have them there.

I have pictures of my Little Guy in every room and also he is my desktop wallpaper on my computer to I say Hello and Goodnight to him each day when I use my computer. I kept some of his fur from a hairbrush and it is the one way I can actually touch him again. He is always looking into the camera in a picture and into my eyes and I feel a connection looking back at him. He was a feral kitten who fought pneumonia and survived but cancer was not a battle he could win.

They are our Angels now. We will always love them and miss them and that's why the pain never goes away completely....but that's okay too...if it meant having them in our lives..where 99% of the time...was happy and healthy. Sometimes in sadness, we forget those times but it is the memories of those times that will help us accept what we cannot change and start our healing process so the pain is not overwhelming anymore....it becomes bearable.

I keep toys and dishes. Eventually I adopted one who looks like my boy..from the local SPCA.
Here when one is adopted, they fill the vacancy by going to the kill Animal Control and rescuing a new one who will have a forever home unless adopted and even then, if anything happens to the owner, the animal can be brought back and is given a home as long as he/she needs it.

Some days are worse than others on missing my boy but when it is so recent as yours...that is the worst of times. Just know you are not alone. We understand that pain and there is nothing you can say or do that is not okay to do. You have to do what makes you feel better to do.
Grief like this has not time limits.....we just do the best we can and take it all...one day at a time.

Hugs and prayers and healing thoughts,
Judy

Sometimes the ones who become very special are the ones Life sends without bothering to ask your permission. A call seems to go out. Often the disadvantaged ones we rescue seem to know, and start out the relationship being extra grateful. And because we are taken by surprise, our defenses are down, and by the time we figure it out, it's too late...we love them. They know it and pay us back over and over every day. We love them more.
There's no hope-we become their pets!

thank you judy and jon. you are right jon, my comfort right now is knowing that i was the luckiest person on earth because fred chose me to be his momma. it was meant to be. i just hope he can forgive me for the times when i wasnt such a good mom. there were days when i was too tired and just wanted to go to bed to play or when he and riley got into trouble and i would get upset. do you think they forgive? i too saved his dishes. i saved one of his needles and his little bottle of insulin. i hate diabetes! i hate it!!!! it took my baby away from me. it took away my happiness. i know that one day i will be ready for another pet but im terrified of going thru this again (diabetes). they dont deserve this. fred was always such a good little boy. i miss you little fwed. last night when i got home i got the bill for his ashes. i know they are coming soon. i fell apart. i sleep with the jacket i left for him at the hospital. i smell it hoping to smell him. but its airing out now. im reaching the point where im going to have to face the reality that hes really gone. i know that sounds wierd but in my mind hes not gone yet. is that wierd?
thank you again for all your comforting words. judy, i am going to treasure the two sayings your mom said to you forever. i pray for all of you.
momma loves you fred. forever!

Hi Patricia, You said in your mind he's not gone yet. You know what, in our minds they will never be gone. I lost my guy 9mos ago. I don't think there has been 2 or 3days in that time frame that I haven't cried. There are so many hard parts of greif, the empitness and sometimes the pictures and memories. I took a picture of him 1 yr ago today that was my favorite. I thought about how he use to use my hand as pillow when he slept. My partner who he lived with, has decided to move. I've been a mess all day. I still have a hard time being in that house without thinking of him or seeing him in my mind. And yet, feel a sadness to leave the place he grew to love and own. I will have to unearth his ashes. As much as he loved that yard, I cannot leave them there without us around.
I can relate to dreading to go home. I put in for 5 weeks of vacation last summer, and when I lost Arthur, I gave them all back. I was looking so forward to spending time with him. I couldn't enjoy it alone.
You kept Fred well and happy for 14 long years. You were a GREAT mom to him. Time will ease your pain. You will have your days, but you never ever forget him. And that is why he will remain in your heart forever..Hugs..Ann

ann. thank you for your comforting words. i really needed them today. this morning i stopped by the vets. i wanted to thank the staff and doctors that took care of my little fwed. and i wanted to pick up his favorite robe. he slept on it every nite. on the left bottom corner of my bed. on the really cold mornings, i would wake up to get ready for work and would tug on it so he'd wake up and let me "borrow" it. he would groggily look at me, twitch his big ear and begrudgingly let me have it. when i got out of the shower i always knew he had found his new little spot on my bed: where i had slept. he would always open one eye and glare at me as if to say: well? you took my robe! " and go back to sleep. i would tuck him in (when he would let me) and tell him to be a good boy until i got back from work. when he had to stay overnight for the first time ever in his little life, i brought his robe in it in so he could be wrapped in it when i couldnt be there beside him. it was the robe he passed away in as well. i held the robe to my face, hoping that i would feel him somehow. i will have that robe for the rest of my life. ann, i will pray that your sorrow will be replace with happy memories.

ive attached a picture of my little fred when he was just a baby. my sweet little buger, momma cries for you every day and night. momma loves you. youre my good little boy. i still hear you. and at night i still sleep diagonally so as not to wake you. i miss you all curled up and covering your eyes with your paw. i miss your purring. i miss your soft little fur. i miss talking to you. jennifer asked me about you last nite. she hadnt seen you sun bathing in a week. she cried when i told her. she misses you too. momma loves you my sweet.

Fwed is beautiful and was one lucky cat to have had you for his Mom.

I understand completely how you feel. I do however have a kitty to help me ease the loss of my 17-1/2 year old companion. No, he's not Flossie but he does love me & comfort me. He's more dog like sometimes. We also found a stray dog about 5 months before we lost our precious Poodle and she is a joy to have. A happy dog that helps keep our spirits up.

We can never replace a pet who has left us. You gave Fwed a wonderful 14 years. Having him that long means that now youre entire schedule that the two of you had everyday has been disrupted. His loss will take time for you to reajust your life.

Take all the time you need. Coming here has been a big help for me.

thank you flossies mom, for understanding. you are so right. we did have a schedule, a routine. especially when he got diagnosed wth diabetes, we became even closer. he would wake me up at 630. he would literally place his paw, gently on my shoulder and wake me up. sweet one. when i would open my eyes he would be staring right down at me. i will always cherish that memory. but he knew that it was time for his injection. and likewise my life changed when i knew that i had to be home everyday by 7pm to give him his second injection. how i miss walking thru the door and seeing his tiny cute little face as he peered around the doorway to make sure it was his momma and not the plumber.... (cuz if it was, my little bugger would run and hide under the covers. and he wouldnt come out until i coaxed him out.)
last nite i picked up his little carrying case. the one he hated getting into. the one he knew would take him to the hospital and get poked and prodded. also the one where the minute we got back home he was eager for his mom to open the door so he could find his little spot on the bed, curl up and go to sleep. i cried and cried. and the people at the er center where he was taken care of during the night, consoled me.
my life has changed again however. as last thursday, exactly one week later that i found fred extremely sick, i came home and found my apt manager and friend outside. i hardly ever run into her in the evenings. she told me there was a little dog that needed a home. my first reaction was no no no. and i told her i was in mourning over fred. she cried as she told me that she always saw fred sun bathing and had wondered why she hadnt seen him in a while. she convinced me to a least listen. so ten minutes later she was in my living room and showing me a pix of what was to become my new angel lucy. as a tiny puppy, she had been hit by a car and these kind people had found her by the side of the road and rushed her the hospital where she underwent surgery to her little paw. weeks later and im sure a lot of expense later she came home with them. they found notices about a missing dog and actually found her owner (that had rescued her from a central l.a. shelter) he turned around and rejected her. he didnt want her anymore. and now her foster family need to move to a smaller house where they wouldnt be able to keep her. she came home the next day. ive been thru an emotional roller coaster as i cried even more so for my fred. i prayed that fred would not think i was replacing him. after all, it has only been a week. i had a hard time bonding with her at first and i cried many a tear to my friends as i told them i wouldnt keep her either. but then something happened. as i thought of her history and the hard times shed had in her 6 and a half months of her life, i wondered if my fred had sent her to me. his job was done and now he was sending me a little angel to help dry up mommas tears. and they have. this little ball of fur, my wonderful terror lucy has not allowed me to cry too long. she looks at me and then she pounces and licks all my tears away. as i thought about her tough life and looked into her beautiful big brown eyes, i knew she had found her forever home. thank you fred for sending her to me. you will always have a piece of my heart with you. i love, love, love you so much. i know you are laughing at us right now and you should. its only been about 4 days with lucy and im exhausted! you never gave me any trouble. you were always the sweetest the most wonderful little boy and i will never ever forget you. i wish you could meet her. you would put her in her place so fast my sweet one. shes in the hospital today getting spayed and they told me she weighs 9.2lbs. shes tiny but she thinks shes a german shepard. this morning as we walked to the park, she lunged at the giant crows. i had to explain to her that they could have her for breakfast. oh well, she has the heart of a giant. i miss you every day. i could stare at your pictures forever. my hole will never mend but i know you knew that and i know you sent lucy my way. tmomma loves you forever and ever.

WOW

Fred DID send this puppy your way I'm sure

We figure that is the same thing that happened to us.

In May, while visiting my Mom in a small town that has dogs that run loose a lot, a small dog came up in the yard as my husband was outside working in the yard & really looked him over. She hung around a while & left..... we saw her around......always busy and almost always with a big black dog nearby. There was just something about her and the way she would come visit, look into his eyes and be on her way. He was smitten with her and she finally came into our travel trailer for a visit. She finally spent the night with us on the 3rd & 4th day... going off "dumpster diving" during the day but swinging through for visits. It appeared she was coming into heat so we were worried as she was about 9-10lb & the dogs begining to show up were big dogs (as was her companion who was paying closer attention by now). Then she took off for 3 days so we were very worried about her with the male dogs all over by now. She returned...... with an avid following and was almost begging for help so inside she came but snuck out after a little bit....ran to the other side of the house & in a couple of minutes she was back on a dead run with a couple of big dogs right behind her looking like...........HELP ME!!!!!

We decided at this point that whoever ( if anyone) she belonged to did not deserve her if they did not care enough to protect her so we loaded her up & drove her away from the area several times a day to go to the bathroom and have some freedom without a pack of dogs on her trail all the time. Twice big dogs followed over 2 miles before giving up. This went on for 12 days and no body ever came looking for her.

With Flossie in the condition she was, I did not want another pet and she was not too fond of other dogs. Somehow this dog sensed Flossie was old and frail so was very good around her and Flossie did not object unless she got really playful & over ran her space when she was resting. When we left town with this dog, the 2 slept on the bed in between the seats together and I was amazed.

I did not want another dog but since she was attached to my husband I told him as long as he accepted the responsibility for her care & walking OK. My first obligation was to Flossie as she had a lot of care involved and was all I felt I needed to deal with. This dog is not one I would have picked probably..... but she picked us and is an amazing little dog. Gone from 10lb to 15lb I might add.

As soon as we arrived at our next stop..... my neice came out with a kitten that looked like a siamese and they only had black or black & white cats on their farm. Handed him to me as a gift.......... now 2 new pets that I didn't want!!!!!

So we are convinced Flossie saw to it that we each had a new little one to keep us company when she had to leave. She was with us for 5 months after the new ones came into our lives and must have approved as she accepted them much better than I expected her to.

I am so glad for both you and Lucy. Fred surely sent her to you and knew that she needed you as well as you needing her. Fred knew what a good Mom you were and knew Lucy need your tender care. Add Lucy to the new beginnings section as well as some pictures.

Who could resist the look in our dogs eyes? This was the day she first came & sized us up..................

thank you thank you thank you! i was so so touched by your story. (shes so BEAUTIFUL! the eyes just kill me everytime) it reinforces to me that fred DID send me little lucy. i am so thankful that are so many of you out there that have such a big heart and open your arms to these loving creatures that need such a good home. somehow it makes me feel a little bit better knowing that we are able to give others a chance. i now know that fred knew this. im so glad you were able to rescue your little one. he chose you. and your little kitten? how absolutely wonderful. believe it or not its so comforting to hear this. today has been a bit rough. just before going to lunch about an hour ago, i received a good news call. lucy was getting spayed today and the little rascal apparently "popped" out of her anesthesia. she has the staff in tears…from laughing. shes my silly goose. but about ten minutes later, i received another call from the same hospital. freds ashes were back. i didnt lose it altogether but my heart feels so heavy. tomorrow it'll be bitterwsweet, cuz when i pick up my little one, i also pick up my little one. thats going to be rough. but in a way, i feel its a sign from fred, like "its ok momma this is just the way it works." but it doesnt make it any easier. i miss you my wonderful little fred. my time with you was too short. momma loves you!
flossies mom, you are a wonderful person. thank you for sharing your story with me. it made me feel better. give you and your littles ones a big hug from me. (will definately post some pix soon)