I need help! I rescued four cats and rehomed three of them. The other cat (Oscar) had Leukemia and I had him on a waiting list at a rescue that takes cats with Leukemia. I tried to find him a home but nobody was interested because of his Leukemia. Oscar was a VERY sweet cat and because of me, he is dead!

I have been bringing Oscar out in my living room every night and my dogs have been fine with him. I have been keeping Oscar in a spare bedroom the majority of the time. This morning I opened the door so he could come out if he wanted to, I meant to close the door before I went to work but I forgot. When my husband came home he found Oscar dead. He had some blood around his neck area. I think it was my Jack Russell Tango that killed Oscar because he has claw marks on his head and neck.

I completely blame myself! I have rescued many animals and I'm a huge animal lover. I will never forgive myself for not closing that door and putting Oscar in such a horrible situation. I don't know how I'm going to live with myself knowing I caused Oscar's death.

Hi Rhapsedy,

Firstly I want to say how sorry I am for your grief over what happened to Oscar.

Please do not blame yourself for what happened to Oscar. It was an accident and no one is to blame.
I commend for helping rescuing animals. Just think if you didn't take in Oscar what would of happened.
Also you provided a loving safe home while you found a permanent home. I wish I could do that for animals but
I am in an apartment that doesn't allow pets.

I understand your pain. I lost my beloved Cuddles who was 14 years old and I found him abandoned when he was three months old. He had a wonderful life with me and three other loving animals. But I had to leave our home
for a job offer out of state which involved a relationship.

Anyway the relationship turned very ugly and it was tied to my job and I found myself in a very dangerous situation. Cuddles had been sick for a year and wasn't eating so I had to make the decision to put him down and it was very hard because I feel very guilty of the situation I let this man put us into and if I had
just stayed in our home he would be save and alive. But I know that isn't true I was blessed to have him with me he protected me from truly being harmed even worse. I found a home for my other beloved cat and relocated to another state with the help of my family so I am safe and my other cat is settled into a new home.

I do believe that our Babies to heaven. I plan on moving to a place that I can adopt again and my hope is that maybe Cuddles will come back to me. People on this site have claimed that has happened to them.

So please do not blame yourself, Oscar wouldn't want you do that. But you need to grieve and it is part of the process. I hope my words have helped with some of your burden.

Helen

So sorry for your loss.

It's tough I know, but you can't blame yourself. I know you will - we all do. Guilt is such a terrible thing. Like Helen said, it was an accident. And your dog was just playing with him I'm sure. He never meant any harm. They just don't know their own strength.

There is nothing you can do now, but remember the good times. And please do not punish Tango for any of this. You gave Oscar a good life. He knows that you loved him and that this was not your fault.

We all live with this terrible guilt. God knows I have many things I wish I would have done differently. My George would probably still be with us today if I hadn't cut his nails the night before and if I'd forced him to go inside that morning.

Anyway, again sorry for your loss.

Take care.

Lynette.

Thank you for your kind words Helen. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to my post.

After I first rescued Oscar I took him to the humane society in hopes that they would find him a home. They called me that day and told me that he had tested positive for Leukemia and that they were going to euthanize him. I went to pick him up right away because I didn't think he should be put to sleep because he had Leukemia.

I feel like it would have been more humane to euthanize him then have him die the way that he did. I would do anything to reverse time and close the door.

I had Oscar for three months and had an amazing set up for him. I bought him a bunch of toys and a couple of cushy beds. I fed him the best food and gave him a lot of love. I just keep questioning why this had to happen.

He had an 85% chance of dying before his 3rd birthday from his disease but he had a 15% chance of living a long healthy life had I not been so careless.

I have saved a lot of animals, spent thousands of dollars on vet care for them, and the ones that I didn't keep found them wonderful homes. I hate to say this but I will not rescue anymore animals, this experience has hardened me beyond repair.

Hi Lynette... thank you for responding to my post.

I won't punish Tango, I don't blame him, I blame myself. I know what Tango did was instinct.

I'm sorry about George, was he a cat? What happened to him?

Hi Again,

I completely understand where you are at because I was there to and I still go back from time to time. Your not alone in your feelings and you need to grieve the loss of beloved Oscar.
Please do not beat yourself up. You said yourself you have helped so many animals. Your are one of my heroes. You have inspired me to try again and find a new place to live where I can adopt again.

I firmly believe that our wonderful pets are tiny angels sent from God. They teach us and protect us and love us unconditionally. I have been honored to have so so many of them in my
life. I have list a couple of websites that might help and a book that might be helpful. It is called Angels in Disguise: When God Sends Animals to Comfort Us.
by
Phyllis Hobe





Let tha

Hi, Rhapsedy, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Oscar. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion tragically intensifies the grief.

As our other forum friends have already comfortingly shared with you, may I please take this moment to add to their wise words that what happened with your beloved Oscar is an accident. It is obvious from what you have shared with us that you did everything in your power to give your beloved Oscar a happy and healthy earthly journey. I hope as you travel your grief journey you will be able to find some peace in your heart that your beloved Oscar loves you and is forever grateful to have you as his Forever Mom.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Rhapsedy, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Oscar's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Rhapsody.

Thank you for your kind words about George.

George was a border collie. A rescue and such a wonderful, loving boy. I miss him so much. He was hit by a truck during hunting season. He would always run out at vehicles and we could just never break him of this habit. Even tried shock collars, but he was too smart for that! I had cut his nails the night before and I'm convinced he must have slipped on the ice. I had tried to get him to go in that morning also because it was cold out (we live in Manitoba where it gets brutally cold). He didn't want to go in. At least the guy who hit him had the decency to move him into the yard and up by the house. This guy stopped in at my parents down the road to tell them what had happened. We knew in our hearts that this would happen someday, but still it doesn't make it any easier. We have the back yard fenced, but he would never go in there unless we were there. I sure wish I could have gotten him in that day - he would hopefully still be with us.

You will rescue animals again. As much as it hurts right now, you know you will rescue again. It's in your blood. Mine too. We all know how much it hurts when they leave us, but look at the joy they bring us while they are still here. I know I would never give up the years and years I had with all of my angels. The memories of my pets are the most precious things I own. I was googling where I used to live over 30 years ago this morning. I was born and raised in England till the age of 16 then we moved to Canada. I left behind a dog, Mitzy, a budgie Billy and four geese. Mitzy and Billy are buried in the yard over there. When I realized that there had been some changes in the yard, I got scared. They had changed the area where these two are buried. It hurts to think that they may have disturbed their bodies (what might be left of them). I know it's been 34 years since they died and I have never gone back there, but still hurts. It's a heartwrenching feeling to know their bodies have been disturbed.

Rhapsody - you are in pain right now. It will lessen in time and your heart will once again ache for the love of another precious animal. I could never live without a pet (oh by the way - I'm not sure where my geese are buried. When we left we found them really good homes and I'm sure they must be with their last owners).

So take it easy, let the tears flow and day by day things will become less painful.

Lynette.

Lynette,

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a dog when I was growing up that did the same thing but somehow he never got hit, he lived to be 16 years old. It makes me think that we all go at the time we were meant to, George was meant to die that day but that still doesn't make it easier. How old was George? It sounds like you loved him very much. I hope you are in a better place with George's death now and that most of your memories of him are happy ones.

I really do believe it is planned when we leave this earth, I just can't understand why Oscar had to be taken so brutally! He had Leukemia, why couldn't he have died from that if it was his time to go? Now I deal with the guilt of leaving the door open and the fact that Tango killed him.

I only knew Oscar for a few months but he was the sweetest cat. When I first brought him to my house he was afraid of everything but he started being affectionate to me and my husband. He was very comfortable around my dog Oliver and seemed fine around Shadow and Tango as well.

I just wish I could have found him another home before this happened. I thought I was saving him but in the end he died because if my mistake. This is just hard for me to deal with and makes me think that I shouldn't rescue anymore animals if I'm going to be so careless.

I greatly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and for responding.

Rhapsedy

Hi, Rhapsedy, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I can feel your deepest sorrow in your words of anguish in what happened with Oscar, and I wish there was some way I could take this pain from you. The last thing your beloved Oscar would want you to do is punish yourself for what happened and deny other homeless waifs the opportunity to know love and safety under your care. There is no denying what happened to your beloved Oscar is a painful experience - - but what happened could just as easily happened while you and your husband were home. You had no idea that Tango would become so aggressive toward Oscar to the point of inflicting mortal harm to him. Should you need to "isolate" another companion in a separate room, you can make a sign to put on the door "Be sure door is closed before leaving". We are mere mortals, Rhapsedy, and the blessing is that our precious, beloved companions understand this and lovingly accept us in spite of our imperfections.

I hope as your deep grief eases that you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Oscar is eternally grateful to you for everything you did for him during his earthly journey.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Rhapsedy, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Oscar's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Oh Rhapsody, you weren't careless. Just human. With everything that we have going on, it's a wonder we remember anything!

Maybe what happened was a blessing in diguise. I lost my Hunny to cancer and it was totally devastating. Although it gave me the chance to have no regrets with her, making the decision to let her go was by the far the hardest thing I have ever had to do. And I hope so much that I never have to do that again. We found out about the cancer the end of June 2008 and we had to let her go April 4 2009 because it came back. I cried so many tears in those months (not only for her, we lost her sister about ten days before we found out). I dreaded the day that we had say so long. I would wake up every morning and listen for her, to hear if she was still with us. I would wait at work for that phone call from my husband or daughter at 4 o'clock when they got home. Finally we had to let her go and I cried almost all day, every day for the week prior. As hard as it was, I couldn't let her lose her dignity. Hunny was such a proud dog. She would have resented us for letting her lose control of her body. So, although it was a tragic way to go, maybe it was at least fast and Oscar didn't suffer. A sick pet is no fun as you probably know. They don't understand what is happening to them. Oscar knew love and had a happy life with you.

George was six. Far too young. I think if he'd had a purpose he would never have chased cars. He needed a job. My parents have goats and he would chase them up and down the fence but it wasn't his job to look after them and he was never trained to do it. But if we'd have gotten some for him ....maybe............ Too late now, right? We took him for agility classes and he loved that.

Life is full of what ifs and should haves and they torment us all the time. I am not a religous person, but I so hope that one day I get to be with them all again. I have to believe that or else I don't think I could survive. Of course, what comes with that is hoping that they forgive me for all the wrongs I've done.

Anyway, better get back to work. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

Take care.

Lynette.