Printable Version of Topic

Click here to view this topic in its original format

Lightning-Strike Pet Loss Support Forum _ CyberShoulder Room _ Welcome To Our New Members!

Posted by: LS Support Jun 29 2003, 03:35 PM

hi there, glad you could make it happy.gif i am happy to provide this new forum for members of
the L-S old forums ( http://lightning-strike.com/forums/ )as well. as those working their way from our battle-torn alt.support.grief.pet-loss
newsgroup on USENET. perhaps we all can use this as a troll-free resource as i will be ruthless
on off-topic postings and finally have the tools to squash any problems cool.gif

this would be a great forum to introduce yourselves, if you want. i will kick it off for y'all.

my name is marcdavid, people call me MD (i am not a doctor or vet, a rumour that has
been around ever since my pet-loss work has). i started the lightning-strike site back in '96
as a tribute to my very dear friend Tribble, who passed quickly from a thrombotic clot. it was
a nightmarish scene at the end, my wife (now ex) was a new vet and we tried to save him
but he died in my arms. i have not had a pet since, not my own...we did have 7 cats when i was
married though. to be truthful, i am kinda burnt out on cats and hope to get a dog one day,
a jack russell terrier is my hopeful. oh, right now we do have fish. and a snail. and cuz i left
the window open, about 100 flies dry.gif

im a 40yo freelance writer in columbus ohio and have 2 great kids ages 6 and 3. they keep me
on the run constantly. so although i will visit here several times a day, i may not post as much
as the rest of you but rest assured i will be reading and wishing you well during these hard times
in your life.

over the summer, i hope to completely redesign lightning-strike.com. i also have a very nice
chat room up and running now if anyone has the interest to participate. it has not been released
publicly yet, so let me know and i can get it readied.

welcome again, i hope you find the support you need here smile.gif

Posted by: helen_davies_00 Jul 2 2003, 05:40 AM

Thank you MD for setting up this new site and for your compassion for suffering humans. As you say the alt.support.grief.pet-loss newsgroup on USENET is now out of order regretably and I hope people find this site. I was happy posting there because that group helped me get over the loss of my last cat (of 3) who was put to sleep at age 19 in Feb 2002. I now want to help others because I fully understand the searing and often unexpected pain people feel. Whilst it is helpful to know what options for euthansia are available before your pet goes downhill, nothing, absolutely nothing can prepare you for the grief afterwards which is why support and understanding is so important.

After nursing my 3 old dears from kittenhood to old age, I am catless for now, but it will be only for a short while I'm sure. I adore all animals and do all I can to help campaigns to stamp out animal cruelty, factory farming for food here in the west, bear bile farming in China, and all the other hidious things people do to them these days. I love animals so much I can't eat them now, though I used to like meat, cheese, milk, and eggs - sigh, and thank goodness for soya products!

I hope I can help others just a little bit. So, hello to everyone who finds this site, and best wishes from Helen (in the UK)

Posted by: DJ - Edgar and Jess'es Mommy Jul 3 2003, 01:42 PM

MD - if you knew, truly KNEW, how your site has kept me sane.... I can't even put into words the gratitude I feel. I'm usually not at a loss for words but without this site my heart would have broken completely.

Posted by: LS Support Jul 3 2003, 02:14 PM

im glad to hear that everyone. when i started this site back in 96, there were very few if any sites
dedicated to pet-loss. ed over at petloss.com, which was a personal website at the time run
by him, and the rainbow bridge, a site that disappeared but soon many others popped up. with
the newsgroup so ravaged, this makes a great place for us to get together smile.gif

Posted by: Saki & Freyja's Mom Jul 3 2003, 05:24 PM

Hi, Everyone,

I'm Jennifer. I am relatively new out here -- found the old forum about a month ago when my dog Freyja died, then two weeks later my cat Saki died.

Seriously, MD. THANK YOU. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! To have this space is such a blessing and you must be an angel to have blessed so many lives...

I am 36 (I think-- stopped counting at 22, but I was born in 1967). I teach sociology at a university. Being the academic type, I am a lot more comfortable with writing than talking... I think my posts are always waaay too long (standard long winded professor...)

I've been posting pretty much everyday since I found the site. Before that I'd never posted anywhere. I hope some day NOT to post EVERY day on this site, but it has helped me so much, the people out here have helped me so much, that I feel like I will probably always have somewhat of a presence out here... Reading posts, even the ones I don't respond to has been helpful to me. And despite the fact that I hate change, the new forum does have some benefits the old one lacked...

I am married to Tim and have been since 1989. We don't have/want kids -- our babies were Freyja the American Eskimo Dog, Saki, the Siamese Cat and Electra the Russian Blue cat. Electra survives at 15 with FIV.
We got Freyja and Electra in 1988 so we effectively started our family before we were married. wink.gif I tease, but in many ways, this makes the loss even harder.

I think "Tribble" is one of the best cat names I've ever heard.

Anyway, thank you so much for all your hard work MD. You really are an angel...

Love,
Jennifer (Saki & Freyja's Mom)

Posted by: SJ J & S Jul 6 2003, 06:23 AM

Hello
My name is Susan Jones and I live in England, I'm 41 years old childless and now dogless. I've been married 21 years next week I've put a stone in weight on since December and am an alcoholic, only kidding, but I have drank excessively since Jude died.
Other than a dog called Suzie we had no pets as children, she was only with us for about a month as we discovered that she didn’t like children, I was about 5 or 6 yrs old.
I remember asking mum for a horse and a monkey for a pet but never a dog or cat, I think I new the answer would be no with six kids I think a pet as well would have driven her mad.
Ians family had a cat called Kiki who just disappeared one day and was never seen again, she was old and her body was never found despite searching the streets to see if shed been run over.
We got a cat, Amber when we first got married she was adorable but the cat next door, who was rescued from the wild, picked on her a lot as she treated our garden as her territory, so eventually she was given to a couple on a farm to hunt down mice, on strict instructions that if it didn’t work out between them, they bring her back to me.
Then came Jude and Sadie two loving dogs that rescued me. I think you know about them.
The birds started out as one Gloucester canary then another to keep him company then the aviary because it wasn’t fair to keep them in a small cage and they kept pooping on my furniture. Hazel was lovely and would fly down and land on the side of my plate when we ate and she always went back in the cage to poop at dinner time.
Then came Ringo the rabbit he was quite a character, if we locked him in his hutch he would cling to the wire and shake it so in the end he had the run of the shed.
I tried to make him into a house rabbit but if I bought him into the house he always hoped straight back out.
There formed my little farm, as people used to say and when the kids were visiting it was never to see Sue and Ian but Jude, Sadie or Ringo.
I work with Ian as his PA believe it or not when I look at my typing sometimes here, but my brain runs way ahead of my fingers when I'm talking on this forum.
Thank god we did have our own business as it enabled me to be with Jude so much those last few months, and if we were busy I just took her in with me. Truth be known if id worked for someone else id probably have left.
Well that’s pretty much me and my life in a nutshell.
What did people do for support before computers? Thank you Marcdavid.

Posted by: LS Support Jul 6 2003, 06:51 PM

QUOTE
What did people do for support before computers?


they actually talked face to face wink.gif

Posted by: kdh Jul 9 2003, 02:31 PM

Hi,
My name is Karla, I'm 37 years old , and I too am from Columbus, Ohio (home of the National Championship Buckeyes). I started on the old web-site back in January when I lost the love of my life"Sparky". I got him when I first moved out on my own and 17 years later he died of liver cancer on January 27, 2003. I can't say how hard its been for me and the rest of my family. Almost 6 months of not having him around and I can still barely breath . I own my own mortgage company in Upper Arlington, and love to work out at the local gym. My friends and family have been wonderful thru this whole ordeal. My mother said she would always pray to God asking him not to take Sparky away from me, because she knew how much of a bond we had together. I live with the other love of my life, and we have been together for 18 years and are child-less. Thank God for this web-site, I couldn't tell you how often I would read over other postings and felt like I wasn't alone. If I only had a dollar for every time I would cry reading other postings, knowing how much we all miss our furbaby's. I'd really like to see some kind of real support here in columbus Ohio that really had a hands on approach like this site. Maybe something you could do MD since your here too laugh.gif Thank you again for this forum!

Posted by: LS Support Jul 10 2003, 03:23 AM

i live in UA too happy.gif in the 'slums' tho across from arlington cafe. central ohio actually
has a fairly decent pet loss support community, at least it used to with OSU there.

small world.

Posted by: Saki & Freyja's Mom Jul 16 2003, 05:50 PM

Hey, MD,

This has been bugging me since I found the site: why is it called "lightning strike" ?

--Jennifer

Posted by: LS Support Jul 16 2003, 09:25 PM

well according to the main page...

QUOTE
It is called Lightning Strike because we hope it provides "lightning-fast" assistance and support for the grieving owners of dead, dying, sick and missing animals that walk, crawl, fly, hop, and swim our great earth.


but to be honest, not having much web design skills back then, nor many graphics, i looked through my
small local horde and saw the lightning graphic...then everything just fell into place i guess rolleyes.gif

Posted by: Alice Jul 19 2003, 09:05 PM

Hi MarcDavid,

I am so glad I found this forum. Pet loss, whether from death or giving up the pet, is devestating. I have added this to my favorite websites and will be back often. Thank you for being hee.

Posted by: Jen Jul 23 2003, 09:26 PM

Where to begin? I am new to the site, and found it by searching for some comfort after a very difficult couple of days. I adopted a scrawny little tortishell cat from my vet when I was living in Oklahoma. She had been abused and dumped on his lawn. She was so cute, I just had to bring her home. After 2 weeks of searching for a name, I settled on Toonces (the driving cat from Sat Night Live). I'm not sure if she could actually drive, but the name seemed to fit. She kept me company when I moved to Oklahoma, so far from my home of Upper Arlington OH. I moved back home to Columbus in 1994, and my 2 cats came with me. I met and married a wonderful man, who also grew to love my cats. This past Saturday, we were all in the backyard, Toonces rolling on the patio like she always does. I didn't know that would be the last time I'd see her like that. Sunday afternoon she suddenly could not stand and appeared to be blind. We thought maybe she'd had a stroke. I held her most of the night, and about 1am Monday, she died in my arms. The vet said it was probably a heart problem, and she would have had no symptoms until it was too late. I just can't belive she's gone, she was only 10.
I find myself making sure the knife I just used to butter my toast is rinsed off, so she won't lick it. I look for her on our picnic table in the morning sun. My husband and I haven't told Elizabeth, our 3 year old daughter, yet because I can't even think about Toonces without sobbing. I thought we should wait until Elizabeth asks where Toonces is, or I can talk to her without crying.
Any suggestions on how to discuss this with a child so young? Thanks for listening to my story about my little cat. And thanks for this great website.

Posted by: SJ J & S Jul 24 2003, 04:20 PM

Hi Jen I'm so sorry to hear about Toonces All of us here have lost our beloved pets one way or another and it’s a painful time, we all agree on one thing and that’s doing little things like making photo albums and little boxes with memorise in help us to heal a little at a time.
Include Elizabeth in your activities and be honest with her when she asks
If you go to the top of this page and click Lightning strike.com support forums, then on the new page click Death and Dying support youll be taken to a new page where there is advise for Grief Management In Children you may find this of some help
http://lightning-strike.com/forum/index.php?act=SF&f=4
If you click on the address above it should take you straight there
There is also a page for Pet Loss and Grieving Aid Stories, which has a bedtime story about Rainbow Bridge for children in it.
As I'm sure you’ve seen we all cope in different ways with our losses, put all of us agreethat posting here has helped enormously just remember that crying helps with the healing.
I'm sorry I didn’t answer you earlier but my computer at work keeps crashing, blasted things.
I lost my dog Sadie in much the same way she kind of crashed to the floor about 3 in the morning and by 9am she took her last breath, that was 7 months ago, a lot of tears, sleepless nights and lots of ‘talking’ on this forum and of course with my husband has got me through the toughest time of my life and I hope it will you too.
Love Sue

Posted by: Allyson Aug 1 2003, 04:39 PM

Hello fellow animal lovers, my name is Allyson. I am so thankful to find a website like this in existence. It helps to know others out there are feeling the same as me and that I'm not alone when it comes to grieving for the loss of a departed pet. Most people I encounter feel it's silly to grieve so badly for an animal, this makes it all even worse than it already is. So thank you MD for providing this site, as well as the rest of the members who post here.

with love,
Allyson

Posted by: Angeldog Brandi Nov 19 2003, 03:19 AM

Hello,

My name is Martin Berry. My wife Dee and I are very happy and releived to have found this site. On November 14 at 11 past 5pm (est) we lost our Brandi to kidney failure...She was 14. The lost has found us in total diseray and the tears just keep coming with seemingly no end in site...the pain is almost more than Dee and I can bare. We received the news from our vet that Monday that she would not live longer than the next two weeks. I can't understand the complexity of this. In one minute she, as best she could, would play with her little brother Brutus and then, like that, she's gone. You try to prepare for this but its all futile in attempt. We were told that she was in the last stages before things would get really bad, losing the ability to eat, loss of bodily functions, and pain that we would not be able to endure. The thought of that last "Car Ride" brought me to the inability to come to grips with the fact of what had to be done. I told Dee that I felt like I was taking on the role of God...to make the decision to end her life; praying the whole time that God would just take her. Why would he not do this? Why, oh why would he do this? They are our children...I can not understand.
As we made our way to that room down the hall, I felt as though I was in a dream. I could wake up at anytime and this would not be happening. I love my wife enough to know that she was feeling the same way. I layed out her favorite blanket all the while I seemed to have left my body and was watching this from across the room...I guess I detatched myself this nighmare. Dr. Lee came in the room; I saw the needle...this wasn't happening, was it? We gathered around her holding her sick body...tears ran like a river. The last thing I remember was that look. The look as if to say why is this happening. I don't want to go; there is so much I'll miss with you. As the needle pierced her skin and the shring went empty...she was gone."Dr Lee" I said "No, can we just bring her back?!" "I want to change my mind sir, I don't want to do this!" There's no going back...it is finished. She is layed to rest under a group of Dogwood trees at my parents. This is where she spent most of her youth running and playing when youth was on her side. Dee placed chimes at the head so that when she would run by we would always be able to her her presents.

Little Brutus...She was all he ever knew. He is taking this harder than we ever would have expected. He will not eat nor play and it is breaking our hearts to see him in such pain. We were told that he would cope a lot better than we would, well that statement comes from folks that just don't understand. I, as well as Dee, fear for the worse for Bruty before things get better...God, oh God I hope that you can put your angels around my family to help in this pain. It will take a long time for this whole in our hearts to mend. I hope to see our Brandi on the other side of the rainbow one day and I know that death will come to our Brutyboy too and that is killing us to know that it will come around again...we'll just keep looking towards the rainbow.

Forgive me for this long entry, we just wanted to share our pain with people that can know what we are going through. Thank you.

Posted by: SJ J & S Nov 19 2003, 04:37 PM

Hello Martin and Dee,

It breaks my heart every time I read the stories like yours, we feel so lost and helpless, we cant understand why we had to do it or how we did it.

You weren’t playing God, you loved Brandi and therefore you were the only ones that could make the decision, I know your having doubts now, but at the time it was your heart that decided out of love for Brandi, now its your head that’s working too hard to make sense of it all.

Its taken me a long time and lots of painful thoughts and feelings until finally all I could do was to forgive myself, some would say that I had nothing to forgive but it’s the only way that I can accept the past and move on.

I hope the following will help with understanding what is going on with little Brutus its from one of the topics at the top of the Death and Dying page

DO PETS GRIEVE?

What many people find hard to believe is that animals can form very firm attachments with each other. Even pets that outwardly seem to barely get along will exhibit intense stress reactions when separated. In fact, grieving pets can show many symptoms identical to those experienced by the bereaved pet owner. The surviving pet(s) may become restless, anxious and depressed. There may also be much sighing, along with sleep and eating disturbances. Often, grieving pets will search for their dead companions and crave more attention from their owners.

How can an owner help the grieving pet?

By following the following recommendations:

1. Keep the surviving pet(s) routines as normal as possible.

2. Try not to unintentionally reinforce the behaviour changes.
- if the pet's appetite is picky, don't keep changing the food. All that does is create a more finicky pet.
- don't overdo the attention given to the pet(s) as it can lead to separation anxiety.

3. Allow the surviving animals to work out the new dominance hierarchy themselves.
- there may be scuffles and fights as the animals work out the new pecking order (dogs mostly)

4. Don't get a new pet to help the grieving pet(s) unless the owner is ready.
- will backfire unless the owner is emotionally ready for a new pet.
- people still grieving won't have the energy for it.

Should the owner let the surviving animals see and smell their dead companion?
There is no evidence that doing so will help the surviving pet(s), but some people claim that it does.
Usually, all it accomplishes is to make the owner feel better. Therefore, if the owner wants to have the surviving pets "say good-bye," then it should be allowed.

Posted by: beth4275 Nov 25 2003, 12:55 AM

Dee and Martin,

First let me off you my condolences on your loss. What you wrote brought back some memories of my own and now I find I am sitting here in tears both for your loss and my own. Two months ago I lived what you just went through. I still remember that last car ride and I too told the vet I changed my mind. My Snoops was diagnosed with a brain tumor and I lived through many months wondering what would happen. The thing is like your little one, when the end came it came quickly. I remember feeling like I was playing god ... at one point I even commented that I felt like an executioner. However, I have come to the realization (after many hours of tears and tearing myself apart) that the decision on whether he was staying or going had already been made ... I did not make that decision. The only decision I made was the when and how. I chose to make sure he didn't suffer, wasn't scared, and wasn't alone. I made sure that the last thing he felt in this world was my love and my arms. You made the same decision ... you made sure that your little one went peacefully and knowing that you loved him.

The pain and hurt you are feeling really does lesson a bit over time ... I am a testament to that. The first few weeks I thought I was going crazy. I would sit at work and tears would just come ... but now two months later ... while I still miss him desparately and would give just about anything for one more hug ... the sharp pain has dulled somewhat and I can at times even smile when I think of him. Something I never thought would happen again.

I wish there were words of wisdom I could give you to you through this. Unfortunately, there really isn't anything anyone can say that will make it any easier. Time really is the only healing factor.

Again, my deepest sympathies go out to you during this sad time ...

Beth

Posted by: Nicole - Kane's Mom Nov 25 2003, 03:50 AM

Dear Dee and Martin,

My name is Nicole, and I just joined tonight, not knowing the site very well, I didn't know how to do my own original post. I know what you are going through right now. I found my cat Alex, at 4 yrs. old lying on the floor not moving, I immediately rushed him to the vet at 3:00am crying hysterically. My 4yr. old baby had had a heart attack. After about an hour, and not being able to do anything else at the time, my vet gave him some Lasix for the fluid around his heart. I had to leave him, thinking he was doing better, and was going to be back at 7:00am when the office opened. By the time I got home, after praying for God not to take him from me, there was a message on my machine.... Alex had a seizure and passed away. I lost it, kicked a hole in my wall and all. The pain was unbearable for my husband and I both. We just held each other and cried. I turned my attention to my 6-7 month old puppy for some "grief therapy". As someone said earlier, there is nothing anyone can say to ease your pain. I just wanted to express my sympathy and empathy to you. Cherish the time you have with your other baby and remember, animals can't express their thoughts or feelings like we can, but the decision that you had to make was the best thing for him. I'm sure he would not have wanted to go on in such a horrible condition. It has been a year and a half since Alex passed away and I still talk to him sometimes. I have grown so close to my dog and watch over him like a hawk for fear of something happening to him. It helped me to hear your story....I guess that's what this site is for....I just hope you can find some comfort in some of ours.

Posted by: gingerspal May 29 2004, 11:23 AM

I am Patti, I am 53 years old and live with my significant other and my other cat, Ruggles in Oregon. Ruggles is an indoor cat and kind of a senior citizen. I don't know how old he is he was "mature" when I got him at a shelter so I am guessing he is upwards of 15.
I lost my much younger cat Ginger in an accident last week. My entire story is posted in the Death and Dying area of this website. Full name "Gingersnap" was a mostly outdoor cat who had learned to stay in our yard like a little gentleman and I brought him in to stay downstairs in my art studio at night. It really was a perfect set up following a few years of him being ridiculously territorial. He used to go into our neighbors yards and hiss at people and fight with other animals (on THEIR property! that made me popular!) luckily our neighbors were always very forgiving and Ginger stopped doing that. I put up with all this largely because no one else would have ever adopted Ginger--he was a stray, a beautiful one, but he was flat out mean to people and other animals. I don't know why but I just made up my mind to treat him with so much kindness that he would see that I loved him and hopefully stop being so mean! It was an experiment in a way. He would hiss and snarl and I would say in a sticky sweet voice (that I am sure made everyone pretty sick) "oh ginnnnnnngggggger, I am your mommie--& mommie lovvvvvvvves you") and I would do this despite real fear! Many times inside I was so afraid of him! He was so scary!! He was a 20 pound cat with huge teeth and sharp claws and he actually did bite me a couple of times (for no reason!!) but I just soldiered on with my "sweet talk"!! I think of it now and I can't believe I did all that. I guess I really knew that there would be a pay off one day--and there was! (well even quite recently he would hiss at the sky sometimes just for good measure). I had heard of something called "aggression/affection disorder" and I would always explain his behavior to others by citing that--"oh sorry he is hissing ....he has aggression/affection disorder!!" and that seemed to satisfy most.
oh heck, you know I think I wrote all this before---I just keep writing it because it is therapy to write it out, I guess.
Having Ginger in my life made me feel so unique. I felt like I "tamed" him with no other tool than love. In the beginning I only pretended to love him to try to win him over. In the end I really sincerely loved him with all my heart. He had won me over. Maybe I was the subject of the experiment, not the other way around.
Thanks so much for this website md. What a kind man you must be.

Posted by: Arnold Aug 4 2004, 08:05 AM

Hi MD and everyone else. MD - I join the others in saying a huge thank you for this site. I lost my Arnold only 3 days ago and the pain has been so intense . . . but being able to talk with others and share stories has already helped. And I go home and share what I read with David, trying to help him heal each day as I know he will not take part in a support group of any sort. This particular posting area, the Cybershoulder Room - is a good idea. It gives us a chance to get to know each other a little more personally and perhaps talk about other things than our loss - because you know, that's important too. We all need to make sure we have other things in our life than just our grief.

I'm amazed at how many of you are from Columbus, OH and/or surrounding areas. My son is a Junior at the Columbus College of Art and Design out there. I've been there only once - to take him to the school for registration. I had planned on visiting this month but the vet and animal hospital bills from this past weekend kind of ate up what I would have spent on making the trip.

I'm Nanci, and I live in Wisconsin. I am 51 and manage a small I.T. Department. Since I spend a good part of my day writing computer code, I also have access to the web so can sneak out here when I'm feeling a really bad bout of pain coming on. I love to garden and play tennis in the summer; in the winter I play racquetball several times a week. I have also gotten into scrapbooking this past year and, when I'm able to actually look at all the pictures of my Arnold I will scrapbook them into a memory book. I live with my significant other (aka David, or S.O.). We are both divorced and have 4 children between us. We plan to marry some day but right now finances are getting in the way. All of our children are off to college so Arnold was really our last little one at home.

I look forward to getting to know you all, both in the loss forum and here.

Posted by: LS Support Aug 4 2004, 11:45 AM

welcome nanci, i am glad this site has been comforting for you, it can be such a great resource to "let it all out."

Posted by: Laura Oct 31 2004, 09:44 AM

I just wanted to thank you for having this site. I just wish I knew about 2 years ago when my dog died, it would have been really helpful. I was really upset when she died, she was too young and it could have been prevented. She used to get out of the yard and go for walks and the guy across the road kept putting out snail bait. She'd eaten boxes of it before and survived but this time her heart just gave up sad.gif If we'd tied her up earlier she wouldn't have gotten out and eaten the box of snail bait. I know it sounds bad to say we tied her up but it was the only way she'd stay in the yard, she dug under the fence all the time. So my neighbour killed her and we couldn't do anything about it cos we didn't have proof or something. We know it was him because they're the only one's in the neighbourhood who don't have dogs, and he also hates dogs. Mum rang the RSPCA and the Council and there was nothing that could be done.

I'm 19, in Australia. She died 2 days before my 17th birthday and the day before my year 12 exams started. I hate my neighbour for what he did to her.

I'm gonna add this to my favourites smile.gif It'll be good to be around people who love their pets as much as I do.

Posted by: LS Support Oct 31 2004, 03:44 PM

QUOTE
I'm gonna add this to my favourites  It'll be good to be around people who love their pets as much as I do.


yes, this is the best way to get help to people...help spread the word whenever you know someone in need. welcome to the site smile.gif

Posted by: Kathleen032 Oct 31 2004, 09:56 PM

Dear MD,

Thank you so much for having such a wonderful website. LS has been an answer to my prayers. For the last 6 weeks I've just been going crazy trying to stifle the grief I've been feeling over my lost baby, Shiloh. I thought I was the only person that was having such a difficult time dealing with my pet's passing. It's been nice having a place to share my emotions, my sadness, my stories...my loss with wonderful, kind people that are experiencing the same thing I'm experiencing.
Again, thank you.
Kathleen

Posted by: LS Support Nov 1 2004, 12:46 PM

i agree kathleen, why stifle when you can talk to others who feel the same way. im glad this resource is
available to everyone, wasnt much around when i lost tribble 8 years ago (then again, the web was still
kinda new too). welcome to the site and sorry to hear about Shiloh.

Posted by: Bronte's Mom Nov 18 2004, 05:13 PM

Hey MD and all the other furbaby parents,
My name is April, I've been surfing this site ever since I lost my 12 year old cat Bronte on October 30th. This site keeps me sane and lovingly connected to other mourners when I'm not at work. I live in San Diego and I'm a paramedic. Go figure I can spot and treat human ailments from a mile away, but couldn't tell my baby was sick. I feel for each and every one of you, and thank-you MD for a site that I can cry and help support others. It gets a little trying I suppose for friends and family who may not relate to grief of animal loss on this level. My roomate actually said that death of a pet is not like death of a parent, but more like losing your favorite pair of shoes...You really are bummed when you notice that there not in your closet.... Suffice is to say, I restrained the urge to throttle her on the spot. She was attempting to be understanding, I think. Anyways, thanks for all you support and advice. Big hugs, April

Posted by: LS Support Nov 19 2004, 12:26 AM

welcome to the site April! glad you found us, but wish you didnt need to. over the years i have discovered at least one thing about pet loss: either you feel strongly about the passing of an animal or you dont. those who come here do feel strongly, and it makes the site and the support if offers strong as a result.

Posted by: jan Nov 19 2004, 02:33 AM

Hi, everyone!

My name is Jan and I live in a suburb of Atlanta. I found LS in early May, after the completely unexpected and devastating loss of my sweet lab girl, Phoenix. And, I am so grateful I found this site!

My husband and I have 6 other dogs (we used to be a foster home). We had a total of 9 dogs of our own to begin with - 3 have gone to God.

Mike and I have been married almost 20 years (next May) - we're human childless, but have plenty of canine love.

I'm an administrative assistant ( who is currently unemployed due to being laid off b/c the company I was with is going under). So, I'm actually enjoying spending the extra time with my babies right now.

Posted by: Rusty's Mom Feb 25 2005, 08:11 AM

Dear MD,

My thanks, also for this wonderful site. It has been a lifesaver for me after the loss of my precious Rusty. I feel so fortunate to have happened upon LS and to have "met" all of its caring members. Thank YOU for caring so much about animals and the people who love them.

Lynn

Posted by: LS Support Feb 25 2005, 08:48 AM

the forums have been quite busy the last few months, both a blessing and a curse i suppose. i am glad people find LS of use in their time of need though.

Posted by: IndysMom Feb 25 2005, 09:06 PM

Hello all.
I too am grateful to have found LS. (MD, I would have never survived without it!)
I was so distraught after losing my little Australian Terrier, Indy on Dec. 28, 2004. I thought my level of grief was abnormal and many didn't understand my pain. My prayers were answered when I found the site.
The kindness of others have helped me through some very tough days.
Thank you MD, and all LS members.
Fran

Posted by: kiarasmom Mar 3 2005, 07:33 PM

Hello all!!
I'm so glad I found this site. My name is Terri and I live in Ohio. I have six rescued dogs, six cats and two ##atiels. All of my dogs are older. Four of the six have serious health problems and I know I'm facing some tough decisions in the future. My animals are my babies, as I'm sure is true for so many of you. I can't imagine what I'm going to do without them and how I'm going to deal with that pain. I've lost animals in the past and it's brought me to my knees. The stories and support I've read on these forums gives me hope that I'm not alone. It's so reassuring to know there are others out there who love their furbabies as much as I do.

Posted by: Africangirl Mar 5 2005, 09:35 AM

Hi Everyone!

My name is Avril, and I have lived in Norwich, UK since May 2003 when I moved from South Africa with my 3 very special cats, Shanti, Austin and Little Patch. I am a very young 50 year old, my wonderful husband died very suddenly 15 years ago, and my cats are my world!

I came across this amazing site the other evening when I was sitting here feeling so very alone, and anticipating the fact that I was about to lose my beloved Shanti. My very special and beautiful girl had been ill for many months, and to this day we have no idea of just what was wrong. She was only 10 years old, but this awful cruel disease ravaged both her beautiful body and phenomenal mind. From the start, early last year, things seemed to steadily snowball, and I did absolutely everything I could to try to help her. It has horrified me to watch her steady decline this week, in particular, and when she was finally put to sleep Friday lunch time it was with a sense of excruciating pain but deep relief that she was set free, at last!

I am devastated to have lost such a very special little girl, who has played such an important role in my life for almost 9 years. I am a passionate animal lover and have lost many very dear pets in the past. Somehow this time it is so much more painful, and I am completely devastated. I know I will heal with time, but right now my entire being is wracked with the pain of having lost Shanti. In the end she had lost all dignity, and I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that I gave her the Greatest Gift I could have when she was put to sleep yesterday.

I am completely heartbroken, but I do still have two extremely special furbabies. They also need extra love at this time, and I will give them both the care they so richly deserve.

I am so grateful to those here who have been so kind and supportive to me, and I will be sticking around here for a long time. It is wonderful to be able to support each other as we grieve for our dearly loved pets that have departed from this world

It is just a little over 24 hours since my beloved Shanti died. I am totally broken hearted, but I am consoled to know that her bright, beautiful spirit is free at last, and that this cruel, unknown disease that ravaged her body and her mind can no longer have any control over her.

I will take her ashes back to South Africa next time I go, and scatter them on a hillside overlooking Grahamstown, her home, where I scattered my beloved husband's ashes all those many years ago

RIP my angel ... you are free now and your suffering if over at last my precious girl!

Posted by: litebrez Mar 16 2005, 01:24 PM

Huge applauds to the genious of Lightning Strike!

The awesome memory of your "dear friend", Tribble.........lives on by your special tribute........creating this remarkable support site for those who love and lost their
signifcant other...........as myself, with the passing of my child like pomeranian, Esabella.

I am not into surfing the web, but was driven to be somewhere during those depressive, dark days...........Finding Lightning Strike was my life support site. I spent endless hours day and night reading, writing and listening to people like myself who were lost, lonely, sad and depressed. Being here with this group is like having another family..............they truly give from their hearts with their caring support.

My friends call me Ellie May....saying I should have been a veterinarian.......instead of a nurse because of the love I have for animals and it is so true. I have had a great life with my cats and dogs over the years. I use to raise pomeranians. I still have Coco who is going to be sixteen years old in November. She had twenty two puppies over the years and Esabella came from the mother, Anastashia in the first litter. Because I was a traveling nurse, I had to narrow my family down to Coco and Esabella.

Last Thanksgiving, we were driving to the Carolina's when Esabella went into respiratory arrest. She passed away at the animal hospital after the wonderful doctor's worked endlessly for eight hours to save her life. I held in her in my arms as she left this world on November 23, 2004.

It has been and still is painful each day in missing her with all my heart. But, I am stronger now. I really don't know how I would have been............without being here.

Thank you..........MD and everyone who give much more than you can ever imagine as we share our love, sadness and joy..................together.

Litebrez.............in Florida

LMYE

Posted by: bohummer Mar 21 2005, 10:50 PM

Thank you for setting up this site. Since joining I have posted two topics on the site in memory of my mini schnauzer, Bo. It has helped just to be able to write things about my love for him that I wanted others, even strangers, to know.
He was such a good boy....
and I will miss him so.
Your comrade in sorrow..........................

Posted by: LS Support Mar 22 2005, 11:00 AM

welcome to everybody ive missed since the last time i said hello. getting married in june to a wonderful lady and we are way behind in everything, so
time is sparse at best. hope y'all find comfort here, i am glad to have provided the source for you to heal.

Posted by: LS Support Apr 29 2005, 03:05 PM

*bump* for the newest members since i last posted (over a month ago). glad you found LS, hope all of us can be of help to you!

Posted by: Doxiemom May 1 2005, 02:31 PM

Hi My name is Levona,
My friend was surfing the web last sunday and she ran across this site and showed it to me. I haven't felt like looking into it until today. Last Saturday I lost my baby Blackie. I have gone through the motions of life but inside I feel empty. Blackie was a black and tan silver dapple Doxie. She was on of the babies of my other two Doxies. Blackie was first born. Wilma was so young I was afraid she wouldn't know what to do but she did and finally I held the precious little squirming baby in the palm of my hand and I was hooked. We ended up adopting out the 2 little boys to good families (that was hard) but we had to keep the little girls. Blackie was always a little "fraidy cat" but she was bigger than her Momma and her sister. She was so funny. My Doxie's are my children. My husband and I don't have any children by choice. I teach school and now have my mom living with me. That's enough people to take care of for me. Two weeks ago on Sunday morn. Blackie some how hurt her back. She started dragging her hind legs. We took her to the vet and he said she had ruptured a disc in her back. If she made it she would never walk again. I was devistated. We decided to take her home and see what we could do for her. We contacted people that make doggie carts for dogs with this problem. They had good advice for us. By Thursday she was looking stronger and had less pain. By Friday evening though she started going down hill. She had got weaker and weaker and quit eating and drinking and she died Saturday April 23rd at 6:15pm. I have been crying off and on since. My family is not real supportive. They like animals but think they are just animals. My friends understand more. It is just so hard right now for me. This is not the first Doxie baby I lost either. My very first Doxie was Rufus. He was also a black and tan silver dapple. He was hit and run by my neighbors teenage kids on purpose. They had to come across the road to hit him. That was 5 years ago. This new death is just jaring the old one open also. I just need a place to talk about my feelings and this seems like a good place for it

Posted by: Jazzygirl May 2 2005, 10:40 PM

Hi Levona!
Welcome to LS. This is a great place and I know for myself I have found great comfort here.
Please tell us more about Blackie in the Death & Dying support section. I am so sorry for your loss and share your pain and grieving.
Audrey

Posted by: Muffins May 2 2005, 11:11 PM

Hi Levona:

I am sorry over the loss of your precious furbaby, Blackie.

If you would like, I could move your whole post over to the "Death and Dying" site, as Audrey suggested.

It is the most "alive" part of Lightning-Strike, and there you will receive much comfort and support.....

Please, let me know by PM'ing me or E-mailing me.
I'll be happy to do it right away...

God Bless!

Denise

Posted by: Rosebud's Mom May 21 2005, 08:12 AM

Hello, my name is Karen and I've only just found this site this morning. One of my cats, Rosebud, is dying and reading all your posts has made me feel a bit better. I've been down this road three times before, with other wonderful cats I've shared my life with over the years, and can truly understand. Thanks for this great site.


Sweet Little Rosebud's Mom in New Jersey.

Posted by: Brigid Jun 13 2005, 05:07 AM

Hi MD
I'm new to LS and like everyone else, so very, very grateful to you for its existence. This is helping me through my darkest hours in a way that nothing else can and as my 'friends' don't seem to want to talk about my grief and loss I am so very glad to have found a forum to share my thoughts with kindred spirits, and what lovely kindred spirits they all seem to be. I am so sad that the thing that unites us all is our profound loss!
Anyway, I will get around to introducing myself properly in due course and to putting a proper and fitting tribute to my beautiful little Ryddley-girl on LS. but as you are so used to people unburdeing themselves with their loss and grief I just wanted to say thank you and a very big congratulations on your happy news: your wedding. Hope little Tribble was watching as you exchanged your vows! I wish you everything of the best in your new life together and I wish you happy house-hunting. You provide such a valuable service to the animal-loving community and I just want you to know, (although surely you do) that we are all very grateful and wish you so much happiness in your new love and life. You deserve every happiness and joy.
Thanks again
B

Posted by: crystalm Jun 20 2005, 07:56 PM

Hi MD,

I am glad I stumbled across your site. I have read so many things and looked at so many sites, but none set up as well as this one. And easy to use! I am also glad to read so many varying posts and that everyone is supportive and never tacky.

My name is Crystal. I am 33 years old. I am a police officer. No husband or kids. I have one dog living, Barney, a stray chihuahua, that wandered up to my dad's place about 4 years ago. I had to put Opie to sleep one week and one day ago. He was a 13 year old ##er-poodle mix. I picked him at the local shelter 11 years ago when I went dog-shopping because he was so dirty and messy that I was afraid no one else would choose him and he would be euthanized. I am so glad I did! He has been such a friend to me. We have played in the sprinkler, gone jogging, watched TV, grilled out, slept in on Sundays. All sorts of fun! He watched over me every night while I slept and barked at every noise he heard, just to let me know he was keeping an eye out. I cried into his fur when my Memaw died a few years ago. I cried into his fur when I didn't pass my first physical test for the police department. I ran a boyfriend off when he got mad at Opie for shedding on his nice black shirt (thus forever earning himself the nickname "Opie-hater-guy" from my friends and I). Opie was always at the gate or the door watching for me when I got home from work and school. He took care of Barney like a mother hen, always grooming him and snuggling with him. Opie was diagnosed with an enlarged heart and cancer in the same visit to the vet a few weeks ago. The vet gave me medicines for him. He refused to eat. I tried everything. I eventually alternated grilling hamburger meat, chicken, and steak just to get him to nibble a few bites. I tried not to give him human food often, but the vet advised at this point, give him anything he will eat. He went down hill so quickly. Two weeks was all it took to loose my buddy. It was just one month ago I laughed at the kitchen window watching him and Barney chase squirrels around the tree.

I appreciate you giving me someone to share my memories, good and bad, with. I appreciate that I can ramble on and on about how hard this is and that it falls on understanding ears (well, technically, eyes). I hope to share something that will make someone in pain smile or feel just a little better as some of your posts and stories have done for me.
Thanks.

Posted by: daycaremom357 Jul 22 2005, 01:10 AM

hi my name is sheri my sons cat six died the other day. we dont know how it happened, he snuck out of the house and so did my other cat ducktape i think ducktape saw what happened because she seens depressed. on tuesday morning my son called me and oke me up and said my cat is dead. i didnt belive him at first then he said go out side and look so i did and it was true six was lying in the noigbors driveway i think he ate some posion grass or something. all i know is it is devastating he was only 1 yr i think i am taking it harder than my son who is 18. i just need some support. i also have a question ducktape hissed at six all the time but i know she loved him do think she is sad about what happened? sad.gif

Posted by: Lauree Jul 23 2005, 10:23 AM

Hey Sheri; Oh honey, I am so sorry about your loss! I have no doubt at all that you are feeling terribly sad. I wanted you to know that I am also certain that yes, Ducktape (great name by the way) is absolutely grieving in her own way. Sure, there was hissing is the past....don't all siblings have disagreements sometimes? Our family had to release our dear 17 year old corgi/border collie cross Stumpy, from his infirmities and pain just a week ago. For a few days before the end, one of our cats, Kaylen, who has always been Stumpy's pal, began licking Stumpy's face and ears, cleaning and/or kissing him. Taking care of his sick friend in his way really. The morning after Stumpy's death K-Cat (as we usually call him) went directly over to Stumpy's favourite spot and threw up. Gross I know, but I told myself then, and believe it still, K-Cat was just sick over his own loss. He's just now, 8 days later, beginning to come around to being his old self; less apathetic, less grumpy. Gosh Sheri, I hope this helps a little.
Don't let yourself start feeling guilty over Six's death either. Six was well aware that you loved him, and would never have been responsible for what occured.
What is helping me immensely in my grief journey is the following thought: Stumpy was right there for me all those years when I cried or just felt down. He worked hard to cheer me, never letting up until I did feel better. He's doing the same thing now from Heaven. Am I going to let him work so hard in vain? Nope. I WILL get beyond the pain and smile rather than cry when I recall his life.
God bless you.
Lauree, Stumpy's Mamma

 

Posted by: Noriko Jul 31 2005, 02:57 AM

I know I'm a bit late here, but here goes...

My name is Keely, and I'm 17, living in the US.
I love acting and dancing and singing in Broadway shows, and I love going to Operas, Ballets, and Musicals.
I also try to model, with a new job coming up ( its very local...) But I don't care for the lifestyle. I'd reather sit and home with my kitties and my doggie.
I'm 90% Irish and the rest is Dutch and German and I love animals. My pets are my life to me, so Midnight is a real heartbreak.
I love studying and teaching myself languages. Right now I speak fluent nationality, a splatter of German, and some Italian, French and Spanish.
I have a twin sister ( Midnight's girl) And we're fraternal twins. We look nothing alike.
We'll both be seniors at our Catholic high school this fall.

I have 3 Kitties- Dinah (10 years), my baby, she's fluffy and black and white with a pink nose ( she's getting chubby!) My sister got her at.. a garage sale!!!! She's my Garage sale baby!
Midnight (12 years) - a black, beautiful, good tempered gentle short haired cat with eyes of gold and a heart to match I found her at the animal shelter when I was 5 while we were looking for our other cat who died from poisoning about a few days later... she was my special miracle. She's currently dying or liver cancer
Trixie(1)- Our new kitten. She's blackm small, fluffy, and chubby with huge round auburn eyes and a playfullness about her - we just got her from Middy's shelter. She's such a character, but a blessing nontheless
Nikki(13)- The nicest old Golden Retreiver ever... she's the most loyal caring dog since my old dog Poco....Got her from some people who abused her..we put a stop to that!


That was my intro. I hope this helped people learn a little about me.

Posted by: ChesterWester Oct 2 2005, 04:05 PM

Hi everyone. My name is Shari and I'm 18 years old. I lost my beautiful cat Chester just three days ago...

He loved the outdoors, so we frequently let him out. He loved rolling around on the grass outside. Only one night, Chester didn't come back in. The next morning we saw that he had somehow made it around the corner of our block and was hit by a car. This loss has been so unbelievably hard to deal with. Chester was my first pet and everyone in my home grew to love him. (Even my sister who is NOT an animal person at all.)

I can't seem to get him off of my mind. When I come home I still expect him to run to me and brush against my legs. I find it strange to actually sleep without Chester waking me in the middle of the night. I don't understand why this had to happen... I miss him so much! I'm glad this site is here. It's comforting to know that there are others who loved their pets as much as we loved Chester.

Posted by: Shauna Jan 24 2006, 12:22 AM

Hi,
I'm Shauna, 25, and a nursing student. I first found this website in 2000 when my 2 year old siamese cat was hit by a car. In 2005 my second cat, also siamese was struck by a car at 14 months of age. I tried to keep my second cat inside, having learned the heartbreaking consequences from my first cat, yet family members were non-compliant. And so, I reunited with lightning strike after tradgedy struck again. Anyhow, I wanted to say thanks to MD and Tribble for starting this website. It's nice to have pet-grief validated and find shoulders to lean on. Thanks, Again!

Posted by: LS Support Jan 24 2006, 12:01 PM

your welcome. happy you found the site, sad you had to find it.

Posted by: april Jan 28 2006, 01:31 PM

Hi all
Thank you everyone for your support, your honesty and objectivity. I lost Suzie this week and have been devistated, I feel responsible and I am sick with greif. Your support has been a lifesaver.
April

Posted by: brandyandsoshi Feb 6 2006, 12:39 AM

I lost my cat, Soshi about a week and a half ago, and have found this site to be such a comfort. Everyone is so kind and supportive. I have found comfort in offering some words of support to others, too.
I got Soshi from a friend when she was 11. I'd known her for several years already, though.
She had feline diabetes, which we managed for her remaining 5 years.
She was a special girl, very talkative and social.
She loved to sit in your lap and purr.
She died of lymphoma, which came as a surprise. She was only ill for a few days, thank goodness. She was a very strong cat.
I'm going to try to get a photo to attach b/c she was a beautiful abyssinian, and I'd like to attach a face to her name.
She was named Soshi because she was such a social butterfly.
Anyway, I am a teacher, have been married for a year and a half, and just started working on my masters degree this year. Really, the last thing I've cared about lately is studying (don't tell my professors that, though!).
It does get better.
Thanks for the chance to share my thoughts and feelings.
I also like the smilies.
Brandy

Posted by: Maureen Mar 8 2006, 04:37 AM

Hi everyone!

I accidentaly found this site while doing a search for LifeGems and I'm thinking that I'm really glad I did! This might be exactaly what I need.

I'm 26 years old, I live in southern Minnesota. I have a lot of family in Ohio, so it's pretty neat for me to see people from there! They're all in Barberton and Akron. cool.gif

Anyhow, I'm a really gut-spilling sort of chick, so...yeah. Be prepared, lol!

Well I've lost several pets in the last few years, but this last one is honestly starting to kill me. My beautiful black lab, Nadir, was only six (people) years old when he died on December third, 2005. He was murdered and I'm quickly discovering that coping is impossible.

In the begining of 2005, I had to leave my job because my daughter (not even one year old at the time) had heart problems and we wanted one of us to stay with her all the time. Because I left my job, we had to move into an apartment that doesn't let us have dogs, so my Nadir lived with my mom. My mom is a huge animal lover and she said several times that Nadir was her best friend and was the only thing that helped her get through work. wub.gif

Well I'd been in Ohio for my dad's funeral. The morning after I got back, my mom called me super early, I was half asleep, and she was saying something about an autposy and for the longest time, I thought she was talking about my dad. It took FOREVER before I finally asked her what she was talking about and who was getting an autopsy and when she said my dog's name, I actually got so sick that I threw up.

She said that he'd been acting a little sick the night before and that she'd made an early AM appointment with the vet. She let him outside before the appointment and he didn't come when she called him. When she went out on the deck, he was laying on the stairs trying so hard to climb up to her.

So my mom and her boyfriend carried him into the house and wrapped him in his favorite blanket and held him and 20 minutes later, he died.

Nothing in my life has ever hurt that badly.

The autopsy showed rat poison. Either in one enormous dose or in little bits over the course of about 5 weeks, they weren't able to tell for sure.

My mom lives in a "good" neighborhood and her yard is totally fenced-in and Nadir never left the property without one of us with him, so someone was poisoning him over her fence!

It's been just over three months and not one day has gone by without me sobbing for at least an hour.

I went through an awful bit (I'm not proud of this) of racism over it because we know who did it (yeah...try PROVING it though...that's another story altogether) and the family who killed him is Hispanic, so I was a total witch for awhile. I'm over that, though, I totally forgot that my tattoo guy is from Mexico and he helped talk me out of my rages. cool.gif

I've been struggling with more emotional issues than I have the time to explain. My marriage, or what's left of it, is completely shattered, it's all but over and I think a lot of that has to do with my mourning.

Well...that's my story. If anyone actually read all of this, lol, I'm impressed. cool.gif

Posted by: Tootsie Mar 18 2006, 03:08 PM

Maureen, I read all of your post. tongue.gif

Hello. I'm brand new here and to be honest I really wish I had no reason to find this site at all. Just two days ago I lost the furry love of my life, my baby Pushkin Boots, aka Baby Smoosh, or Smooshie.

I've had pets in the past and in general I love animals very much, but I had never bonded with a pet the way I had with Pushkin. He really was my best friend.
Losing him feels worse than some human deaths I've had to deal with. I have tremendous feelings of guilt because of that, and because he died in an accident I had dreaded. We live on the 12th floor and have a balcony and Pushkin as well as our other kitty Catface refused to obey the no balcony rule no matter what we did. If the balcony door or window was open even a crack they would find a way to open it more and get on there. I had premonitions of something bad happening so if ever they were out there I was there with them studying every move to make sure they didn't so much as look up let alone jump up. Well one moment of not paying attention has brought a tragic end to the biggest love affair of my life other than my husband. I am stunned and I can't figure out how I can possibly ever get over this. It seems so cruel that god would take my little baby, and so cruel that he would end Pushie's life, when Pushkin was the kindest soul I'd ever come across.

I'm 28 and I live in Vancouver Canada. I've been married for a little over six months. My husband is the most wonderful human being who is also completely devastated at the loss of our best friend and baby. He's being really great, but I feel like I don't want to show all of my grief in front of him because I know how painful it is for him. I know he grieves for Pushkin and grieves for my pain. So I'm so thankful to have found this site. It makes me feel so much better to know that contrary to what I've heard from some people (althought not very many at all) over the last few days, our pets are not "just an animal" and we can't "just get over" their death.

It honestly doesn't feel possible that I will ever be able to be happy again. Intellectually I know I will deal with this in time. Right now it just feels like the worst thing in the world. Nothing is right, nothing is important except missing my baby boy. Reading the stories of other people on this board is helping me in this terrible time so I just wanted to thank you for creating this place.

I hope that I'm able to comfort others here as well as get some skills on how to cope with this, with the loss of my very best friend.

Here he is in his full silly and lovely glory, our dearest baby Smooshie whom I will always, always miss and never ever forget:


Posted by: Maureen Mar 20 2006, 01:53 AM

Your awful tragedy made me cry, hon, I'm so sorry for such a dramatic loss! I feel sick over things like this. Your baby looked SO happy! wub.gif What a complete angel. wub.gif

Posted by: Tootsie Mar 20 2006, 04:08 AM

Thank you so much! He really was an absolute gem and a perfect little boy. I don't think I'll ever be able to find another little one like him.

What a horrible thing to go through this is. I'm glad we can all at least talk here about our little ones. I've been crying off an on reading other people's posts, but even though they're sad it's helpful to know we're all going through somewhat similar experiences. One of the worst things about all of this to me has been how immediately separate from everyone else around me it made me feel. Other people walk around happy, and I'm shrouded in sadness. Here at least there is no one getting mad at me for not getting on yet and it doesn't seem like any of us have to hide what we are thinking and feeling. It helps.

Posted by: Clairecares Mar 30 2006, 02:55 PM

I lost my best friend a week ago today...right around this time I signed the paper to end her dear life. She was so weak, I don't think she made it past the tranquilizer injection. It was harder to sign this than my divorce, because I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt, the cat loved me to the end (not so for the spouse, who didn't even love me at the beginning)...she was my faithful friend & companion for 20 years. I am so grateful for this place to share what I am going through.

People look at you funny. They either Understand...or they don't. I'm 47, I have other pets, a job, all that good stuff. I look normal, I act normal, I am normal I guess. It was just a cat, right?

Wrong. This was The Queen of Hearts. My heart, anyway.

It is safe here to say an animal was my best friend. These are hard days. I am putting one foot in front of the other. Thank you so much dear MD, for opening a door for so many wounded souls to support each other. Your Avatar is really amazing also...it looks alive...love the eyes...thank you...

Posted by: Ken Albin Mar 30 2006, 10:23 PM

Hi everyone. My name is Ken and I am an 'old' newbie. I've actually been around for a year now but through the rough months after Daddy Cat died I never introduced myself. I am a high school Biology/Anatomy teacher in St. Augustine, Florida. I'm married and we have no children except for our 8 indoor cats, 1 indoor bunny, and a ##atiel. The cats and bunny are all rescues and we volunteer each weekend with a local cat rescue and adoption group. It's been a wonderful way to give back some of the love we have received from our furkids.

My wife Karen is the city chemist. We've been in St. Augustine for 26 years, transplanted from Chattanooga, Tennessee where we grew up and met in college.

We both are members of an internet group called PetBunny, 500 people who have indoor bunnies. Our bun Sir Francis was recently featured on the Ellen Degeneres show in a photo with his bonded buddy Tommy Cat in a segment called "Unlikely Couples".

Thanks for providing this excellent website. It is the best one around for those who need a place to heal. wub.gif

Posted by: IllMissYou Aug 30 2006, 10:27 AM

Hello, my name is Emily, I'm 21 and two weeks ago I lost my cavy Hazel. He was a little sweetiepie, I'll miss him alot. Almost a year ago, I lost my beautiful cat Tucson Arizona to FIV complications. Tucson was the love of my life and I still love him and grieve for him. Last Summer we had to put another kitty down .... She was going down hill fast and her quality of life wasn't too good. So that was two cats in one summer. I guess no matter how long they're gone it does feel good to cry sometimes. I have a lot of betta fish too, and I love each one of them. When one dies I give them a little eulogy and bury them under "The Betta Tree" in my yard.

Anyway, onto happier thoughts! Now I have a bouncing ball of fluff named Quill. He's a mackrel tabby/white 1.5y/o Siberian cat rescue and the *new* love of my life. I adopted him six months ago, he's a sweet, sweet little guy. I love animals. I seriously don't think I could live without at least one furry/scaly/feathery kid in my life. They bring so much joy and happiness and beauty to everyone. wub.gif

Hope to see you around. smile.gif

Posted by: Marisol Sep 21 2008, 12:59 AM

Hi!!!! My name is Marisol. I am new to the site and found it seeking support after the lost of my baby Titan my handsome 10 yr old dsh cat. Everything was so confusing he was diagnosed with diabetes and hepatic lipidosis a couple of months ago, after so many trips to the vet and treatment my baby was loosing the battle. My vet recomended euth him, he was not getting better and started with kidney failure. I couldn't believed my baby is dying. That night I took him home and was at his side telling him how much I love him. Next morning I fed him tuna and a piece of sausage (his favorite!!) then I took him to the vets office where I requested euth. That day was the worst of my life.... before he crossed the rainbow bridge he looked at me like he didn't want go..... I am dealing with the pain , the emptyness, and the sadness not to have my bay titanito with me anymore.. Thank you for being here

Posted by: LoveThem Sep 21 2008, 02:54 PM

To New Members:

It is wonderful when you come here to introduce yourself. But to get answers from the many members here who are always listening and want to reply to you..

please start a topic just for your baby in whatever Section of the Forum seems to apply....unfortunately the most active section is Death and Dying but that is where responses are (in the Special Sections). If a pet is sick..there is a special Section or if he is missing...of course, that Section is where to go.

I see new members post here and then come back...I assume to see if there are any replies.
We all get discouraged if we see no replies...

This section here is very good just to introduce yourself if you wish to..but if you need a conversation about your special one...please start a topic for your baby so it can be replied to.

Hope this helps explains the best way to start a conversation all your own and get replies.

Hugs to all who post. We are always listening. We understand your pain and want to help.

Posted by: gailie Jul 21 2009, 06:14 PM

hi everyone. my name is gail. i live near cleveland, ohio. i'm 50, so i've had alot of losses in my life by now. anyways... i've lost 3 schnauzers and yesterday, we put our beloved beagle, miss lucy, to sleep (cancer/gallbladder disease).

i've been a grief facilitator for many years (for people losses), and i've found that grief is grief. doesn't matter if it's for a person, or a pet. it matters how CLOSE we are to the person or pet that determines our grief. for many, that would be their beloved pet.

anyways... i plan to pop in now and then and see if i can help anyone, or maybe share some of my own thoughts. i know talking helps alot, and also writing about our emotions.

i'm truly sorry for everyone's loss. i have loved each and every one of my dogs TONS, so i know how it is to lose one.

god bless.

Posted by: KatyAndTilly Aug 4 2009, 11:04 AM

Hi there,
I'm Katy and I'm 21 years old.
I live in a small, rural city in the north west of England. I'm currently working at a store and going to college doing an access course to university where I'm hoping to study Psychology in Education.
I'm an addicted photographer and do the occasional shoot. I'm always carrying a camera with me.

I've always been an animal lover. Actually, I love most living things - humans the least. I'll try to save any living thing if I can and I am one of those people who get really annoyed if someone kills a bug.

I got my first cat as a gift when my father left when I was 4 years old so I put a lot of my emotion into caring for her and making sure she was happy. I had her for 17 years until I came home from my party on my 21st birthday and found her dead on the drive. She had an aggressive form of cancer that had spread pretty quickly but the vet said she actually died of a heart attack. Heartbroken.
We've had a lot of cats in between that we've lost but I realised it was just a way of life. Their deaths didn't hit me as hard as hers though.

Now we have Miss Tilly... the strangest cat I've ever come across. She's still very young but twice the size of any tom cat. She never stops meowing. She responds to anything you say to her and she has to climb into any hole she finds.


I'm extremely grateful for this site and will continue to be. Thank you.

Posted by: petmum Aug 4 2009, 06:40 PM

I responded to another post of yours & forgot to mention that our "Miss Tilli" is very strange too, maybe it's the name, hehehe!!!!
glad to hear you gr8 news.
elaine

Posted by: Paul Nov 20 2009, 09:27 PM

Hello my name is Paul, and on Wednesday Nov 18th we lost our 5 yr. old Mastiff to complications to surgery. He was diagnosed with Cancer in his forearm and after some long thinking and talking to the vets we got his leg amputated and planned to do chemotherapy. The vet said we probably bought him anywhere to 9 -14 + months. He came home 2 days after his surgery and we noticed he was leaking from his stitches. We took him back to see the vet who performed the amputation. He had a staph infection and had 2 surgeries to to try and clean the infection up. He went thru 1 blood transfusion and all sorts of antibiotics but his red blood cells levels just couldnt come back. He had some up and down days, and when we thought he would be coming home another problem arose, whether the infection came back or his blood pressure or protein levels dropped. We visited him on this past Wednesday, exactly 2 weeks he was admitted in the hospital for the staph infection and he was so weak he could not get up and walk around and he developed another infection and the decision was made to have him laid to rest.
He was way too young and we were told after the amputation he was such a young strong dog he would get thru the fight against cancer but this wa snot the case. It was a very tough decision to get the amputation and now we second guess if it was the right decision now since we lost him.

Posted by: Brutus Dec 1 2009, 08:24 AM

Hi Paul, I'm so sorry you lost your furkid...it's so hard...especially with yours being so young. I too had to put my aging lab down just a couple weeks ago...and I wonder about my decision at times. There are lots of people here who can help you with your grief, we all know exactly what you're going through. I'm just not sure anyone comes much to this section of the forum. You should post maybe on the "death and dying support section", that's where most of the responses are. Please do post as I'm not as good as comforting as some of the others here...my pain is still too fresh.

Hugs to you,
Brutus' Mom

Posted by: Sassy'sMom Dec 16 2009, 05:28 PM

QUOTE (LS Support @ Jun 29 2003, 03:35 PM) *
hi there, glad you could make it happy.gif i am happy to provide this new forum for members of
the L-S old forums ( http://lightning-strike.com/forums/ )as well. as those working their way from our battle-torn alt.support.grief.pet-loss
newsgroup on USENET. perhaps we all can use this as a troll-free resource as i will be ruthless
on off-topic postings and finally have the tools to squash any problems cool.gif

this would be a great forum to introduce yourselves, if you want. i will kick it off for y'all.

my name is marcdavid, people call me MD (i am not a doctor or vet, a rumour that has
been around ever since my pet-loss work has). i started the lightning-strike site back in '96
as a tribute to my very dear friend Tribble, who passed quickly from a thrombotic clot. it was
a nightmarish scene at the end, my wife (now ex) was a new vet and we tried to save him
but he died in my arms. i have not had a pet since, not my own...we did have 7 cats when i was
married though. to be truthful, i am kinda burnt out on cats and hope to get a dog one day,
a jack russell terrier is my hopeful. oh, right now we do have fish. and a snail. and cuz i left
the window open, about 100 flies dry.gif

im a 40yo freelance writer in columbus ohio and have 2 great kids ages 6 and 3. they keep me
on the run constantly. so although i will visit here several times a day, i may not post as much
as the rest of you but rest assured i will be reading and wishing you well during these hard times
in your life.

over the summer, i hope to completely redesign lightning-strike.com. i also have a very nice
chat room up and running now if anyone has the interest to participate. it has not been released
publicly yet, so let me know and i can get it readied.

welcome again, i hope you find the support you need here smile.gif



Hi everyone,

My name is Kathy and I have just discovered this Forum. I have been lying around for the the past five days trying to think of a way to console myself. So, I said to myself, "self, get up and go over to that computer and find a support group for help. So here I am.

Let me introduce myself:
I am a 56 yr old disabeled Gulf War Veteran (female). I left the military in 1998; had a somewhat empty marriage at the time; needed something to fill the void. Two years later was when I decided to go to my local walmart to past some time. I noticed someone selling puppies (cute little babies called "Poms").
4 boys and one girl. The little girl was laying back in the corner "chillin'", while her brothers ran a muck unsure.gif She looked up at me very sassy-like (hence the name "Sassy") with her little paws crossed as if to say, "please, take me away from those loud brothers of mine!" So I did, and the rest is...

Sassy left her wonderfully spoiled life five days ago, suddenly and unexspectedly from what i believe may have been a new medication prescription. She was my baby still at 9 yrs old, 4 months before her 10th birthday. It was just she and I in our home, since I was divorced three years ago. I am hurting so bad because i miss her so. She was my shadow. When I moved, she moved. No one could touch me unless she approved. Anyway, I will be posting more about my beloved "Sass". I am just happy to know, just by reading some of the posts, that it is okay to grieve for my baby girl. She was my comfort, my joy, and lived each day to walk with her mom, listen to her mom talk baby-talk, and sing the "Barney" theme song to her ("I LOVE YOU<YOU LOVE ME<THAT"S THE WAY IT"S SUPPOSE TO BE!!"") wub.gif She loved it and that was the last thing she heard from me before she took her last breath.

Anyway, this is getting extremely difficult to continue. However, I will be posting more soon. Looking forward to it !

[font="Comic Sans MS"][/font][/color] [color="#FF00FF"]In Loving memory of my true best friend, companion and confidant
April 2000-December 11, 2009

Posted by: nicola Mar 9 2012, 04:03 PM

Hello everyone.
I'm Nicola 34 from Ashford. Kent.
I love cats and had to have my 11 year old cat Lucy putto sleep on 11th jan due to cancer.
We now have a 14 week old kitten sophie.

Posted by: Chandanimane Oct 23 2012, 09:12 AM

Hi everyone. My name is Laura, 45 years old, who just lost her female shepherd mix, Zena, to liver cancer this past Saturday, the 20th of October. She was 11 years old. In July, I had to put down my other dog Zeus, an Alaskan Malamute/Belgian Shepherd mix who was 12 years old, because he had been getting seizures that were becoming days apart. The cause of them were unknown, but we took blood tests, so we know it wasn’t anything systemic. This has been a hard season, and especially a hard week, because Zena was my little baby girl and I’ve been feeling torn apart from her passing. Zeus was a sweetheart too, and it was so hard to see him suffer, but I don’t regret all of the effort I put forth in taking care of the both of them during their last days. You can see them both in my avatar, although that picture was taken years ago when Zena was still a puppy. It’s been helpful to read other people’s posts and to know that what I’m going through is perfectly normal. My time is limited, but I hope to stick around and to post more and to get to know everyone.

Posted by: Princessmommy Aug 13 2014, 09:29 PM

Hello Everyone!!!

My name is Mayra, and I just joined this website tonight so I'm still confuse on how this website works and how to post my original post tonight. But hopefully someone is able to help me in pointing me in the right direction so I'm able to post things in the right place. I'm 33 years old and I currently live in Joliet Illinois with my husband and my 4 beautiful children. The reason that I enjoy this website is because I recently lost my calico baby kitten name princess. She was only (6months old) when I lost her. She was hit by a car right in front of my house I'm still hurt and so devastated right now that nothing seems to help me heal. I just need my baby back I can't seem to be without her. I decided to find any support online to see if it will help me with my grief process because apparently none of my family understands what I'm going through and all they say is get over it she was just a cat buy another one. I'm actually hurting alone with no one to hear me or talk to I feel so sad right now. I just that I'm able to tell my whole story of what happen to my princess. I just feel the need to let it out our I will go crazy. I hope I'm able to meet new people here and be in touch. sad.gif

Posted by: Mary k Par Sep 20 2014, 12:53 PM

Hello, Everyone.

I have looked in my area for pet loss support groups, but have found none that are easy to get to. I'm so glad I've found this site! My name is Mary, and I'm 51 years old. I live in the Denver Metro area of Colorado and love it here! I'm 10 years into my second marriage and together we have 4 kids. My daughters, ages 18 and 22…the 18 year old was Halle's favorite of all the kids. My husbands kids, ages 18 and 15. I've had animal companions for my entire life, and when each one has crossed the bridge, I feel a definite sense of loss. This last one, however, has left me wondering what in the world to do with myself. I feel like my husband is being patient, but that he doesn't quite understand. We adopted Halle in 2006 and the rescue told us they thought she was about 6 years old then. I think they may have misjudged by a couple of years, because she's always had the grey muzzle and the fact that she could and would jump the fence to go after other dogs made me think she was more spry than anyone thought. It was a rough start, to be sure, but she and I formed a very unusual bond. Like many other dogs, she picked up on emotions very easily, but unlike some dogs, it really bothered her to see me or my daughter upset or sad. For the last 18+ months of her life, I gave her insulin shots every 12 hours and started to take her every other week to an animal acupuncturist for arthritis. In December she tore her ACL, but we decided it would be more dangerous to do the surgery at her age and current health problems. Almost without fail, in any type of weather she and I would have our morning walk. It was our time and as she slowed, it became less exercise for me and more for her. I indulged her incessant need to sniff at everything. After all, I knew our time together was getting shorter and shorter. It's the least I could do to let her have this joy, no matter how crazy it made me.

This past June, she really started to slow down. She no longer got up when I came home or when my husband came home from his business trips, or when her favorite kid came home. We went to one of her many dog beds to say hello and love on her. She still made it up the stairs to sleep with us though, where she also had a couple of dog beds. Spoiled! On June 21, we were at my neighbor's house visiting her best buddy, Lucy. She had really perked up and had so much fun! That night my daughter came home from a week long trip with her father. Normally Halle would have been beside herself with excitement, but the spark was gone from her eyes and she wouldn't get up. I knew. I KNEW something was not right. I didn't want to see it, and made all kinds of excuses in my head. I was NOT ready to say good bye. That night, around 12:30 AM she woke me up by crying, a very different cry. I jumped out of bed and turned on the light, and she was looking at me almost pleading with me to help her. She could not get up. I hoisted all 80 pounds of her to her feet, and it was like her back legs were Jell-O, and she fell back down. I called our emergency vet, and we gathered the 3 kids who still live at home to be with her. I then called my oldest daughter at her apartment to let her know we were taking Halle and this might be time to say good bye. She met us there. We think, though we aren't sure still, that she may have suffered a stroke. We made the decision to let her go. It was NOT the way I wanted it to be. I had it planned where it would be quiet, in our home with her favorite toy (the only stuffed animal she never tore apart) next to her and her laying on her blankie. But here we were in the middle of the night in a strange place with a vet whom I'd never met. She gave us all the time we needed for good byes, brought a jar of peanut butter for her to snack on along with all sorts of oreo cookies. Haha! She was so happy! But the time came and we knew we could not put it off. My sweet Halle girl passed surrounded by a family that loved her as unconditionally as she loved us, with her head in my daughter's lap. I was the last one to leave. I laid next to her and told her I was sorry, that I hoped I did right by her. And then I left. It's been 3 months and I miss her every minute of every day. I function, I work, I take care of the house. But every time I come home I still look for her. I had surgery in July and on the way home from the hospital I thought briefly, "It will be nice to snuggle with Halle." I take walks still every day - more quickly of course!. I feel her with me every time.

Like I said, each animal will hold a piece of my heart, but Halle took something else. I wish it would stop hurting so badly. Thank you so much for letting me write this.
xoxo Mary

Posted by: Hisae Y Apr 5 2015, 07:52 AM

Hi, everyone

It's been a while since someone posted in this forum, so I'll have a go.

My name is Hisae (hee-sah-eh), and I am 55 years old living in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I work at an international school here as a high school math teacher (I teach AP calculus and International Baccalaureate courses). I am happily divorced (my cats were always scared of my ex-husband). I am nationality, and my two human children are half-American (daughter 29 years old and son 22 years old), and they live in the States (daughter in Alaska and son in Arizona).

Like everyone, I am so glad that I found this site. My sweet Tama passed away March 31, and I am devastated and heart-broken. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being here for me and for all those who are grieving for their beloved companions.

 

Posted by: Oscarbeans mom Sep 17 2015, 12:43 AM

Hi,
I am so grateful for this site and have felt "less alone" in grieving the loss of my Chihuahua Oscar. My heart is broken and I long for the time his memories bring me smiles instead of tears.
It was such an honor and blessing to be a part of Oscar's life. I look forward to my heart ache subsiding but in the mean time I can see some of the healing begins here. Thank-you for being here.
Corie

Powered by Invision Power Board (http://www.invisionboard.com)
© Invision Power Services (http://www.invisionpower.com)