Please Broaden My Mind That I Can Accept All Thing

As the sun rose this morning the clouds began to take over the sky....now there's just gray. There is a gentle but strong breeze blowing through that makes a whistle through the kitchen window and the wind chimes sound like church bells.

It's been 24 hours since I lovingly cradled in my arms and kissed you on the head and rubbed your belly one last time. My heart yearns for you Aspen.

Dear God in heaven,

Please broaden my mind that I can accept all things.

And when this world closes in on me, let me remember Jesus' example -- to slip away and find a quiet place to pray. It's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits. I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart. Continue to use me to do Your will.

I pray that every eye that reads this knows there is no problem, cir%%stance, or situation greater than You. Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight. I pray that these words be received into the hearts of every eye that sees them and every mouth that confesses them willingly..

Father, take care of Aspen as you have Pepe, and those that came to you before them. It is with great sorrow, but understanding that I understand that death is simply the release of the soul into your hands. Please purify my soul to be as clean as those beautiful creatures that you sent to watch over me in my hour of darkness. Purify my soul that I may one day be worthy of joining them in your place of paradise....Where there is no sickness, pain or hunger...only unconditional love and the mingling of the hearts of all those that we love.

Give me the strength to bear this cross.

This is my prayer.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.

An Picture Of Aspen Before She Got Sick

I have held Aspen since I got home at 715. I have been petting her and could swear I felt her purring. I kissed her, told her how much I love her and told her your my pretty girl....she always loved that and almost smiled when I would say it.

Every night right befor I left for work I would go to her on the bed and say good night....I'd say "take a napnap and I'll be back when you wake up"...She was always either sitting in the bedroom door or still asleep on the bed ....sleepy-eyed when I got home at 7:15AM.

I think she just passed in her sleep. There is no sign of pain or trauma...I know her breathing was hard....but she just looks like she is sleeping.

My friend took her from my lap just a few minutes ago. The emptyness is overwhelming. I wish I could have held on to her longer. now all I have is her memory an pictures ... I want to feel her purr and look at me with those loving eyes....watch her face light up when I call her pretty girl.

I love you Aspen, yous a pretty girl, beautiful girl...

Aspen Passed Away This Morning

Aspen was laying on my bed when I got home this morning, just as she always is, only this time the life has left her suffering little body. I layed beside her and rubbed her one last time and began to cry and haven't stopped.

When I left for work last night I knew I probably wouldn't hear her purr or lay on her back to have her belly rubbed, again.

I just wish I had been able to be with her when she went.

The person sitting with her said she died about 5:15AM. I don't know what to do right now because she has been my obsession for quite some time.

She is with Pepe now and I hope to be with them again.

This is the anniversary of my father's death and the birthday of my late godfather. I somehow knew that Feb 6 would be the day.

I miss Aspen and Pepe. I think the worst pain is knowing that they were the only unconditional love I have ever known. We went through so many trying times in our lives and were always there for each other. They gave me a reason so many times to get out of bed.

Aspen just turned 18 and Pepe was 23. I truely cannot believe how those years have passed. It seems like yesterday that I brought each of them home. I guess the time until we are together again will be quick as well.

My heart breaks continually and again for my children.

Pepe and Aspen's dad
Adam

Joanne....i'm Concerned About Mew Cat...

Hi Joanne,

You wrote to me a very caring note including the following quote:

"I really understand what you are going through. Tomorrow, we go to the vet and a decision has to be made about Mew Cat. I will keep you and Aspen in my thoughts. I lost my Rassy cat two months ago. And now I am sure Mew is going downhill fast. I have to force feed her. I just can't continue doing this to her. And like you, I want to have her here with me for a long as I can."

I've thought about you all day while laying with my Aspen. I haven't seen any posts from you today and am worried about you and Mew cat. You Mew Cat and Rassy are in my deepest prayers.

Aspen's Dad
Adam

Aspen Is Very Sick...

This is Aspen and Pepe's dad. I guess I'm a little bit in denial hoping for the recovery of aspen. She's on pain meds and I'm beginning to feel guilty. I have layed with her all day....talking to her....she has always loved her belly to be rubbed (unusual for a cat)...So I have massaged her and rubbed her belly all day.

It's just that my cats have been my life for many years. The first one I got at age 17 shortly after my dad died...I got Aspen 7 years later as a tiny kitten. I have had a very hard life and my cats have been the only constant love that I have had.

I know I sound a bit nuts... but I need her. I don't think I can let go. Somebody told me not to cry or be upset because she can sense that. So I come here to share my desperation. I try to console those who's furbabies have left at such young ages....I know how desperate that must feel. I guess when a cat reaches it's teens one should expect something to happen. I was blessed because Pepe lived to be 23...but I guess that made me think that all of mine would live into their twenties. I keep wondering if their is something I'm doing wrong now...trying to figure out if I've changed anything.

I've been all over the internet trying to see if their is anything that I can do holistically for her to disolve the blood clot. I've always been so careful about their diet....they've never been overweight. I read somewhere that maybe a taurine defficiency can cause this. I just want to be able to fix this, I want her to be her old self to play with a wrapping paper ball or ribbon.

I thought she was getting a little better... but now I'm not sure. I almost think she's putting up the best front she can so I wont worry about her. I keep praying.

Please keep her in your prayers.

Tonight at 3AM...(I work midnight shift)...I'll print each of your babies names and pray....

Dad of Pepe, Aspen, Chevis and Amoco