Hi everyone,

My name is Natalie Rochester and I lost my kitty almost 2 years ago to bone cancer. She was my daughter with fur - her loss was so so difficult for me. It happened half way through my master's education when I was supposed to come up with a topic for my thesis. I had no idea what I wanted to invest hundreds of hours over the next year + researching until I went through this loss. It was the response I received from others - colleagues, friends, husband, etc - that inspired me to study the true affect of pet loss on the bereaved. So many didn't see my loss as a "real" loss worthy of deep pain. It is a real loss though - just as much as any other loss. Researching this topic proved to be cathartic for me, so I want to share my study with you all. Maybe it can do the same for you.

So, here is the statement I have to use:

I am a master’s student from Texas Woman’s University conducting a study for my thesis. The purpose of the study is to explore the relationship between types of pet loss, attachment, and grief.

You are invited to participate in this study if you are an owner of a pet that you have lost (death or non-death) within the last 3 years. You must be at least 18 years old to participate. Your pet loss may consist of any type of loss – death, runaway, stolen, adoption, etc. The lost pet must have been owned by you or is a family pet. This study was approved by TWU Institutional Review Board. Participation in this study is voluntary and may be ended at any time without penalty. There is a potential risk of loss of confidentiality in all email, downloading, and internet transactions. To participate in the study, please go to: https://www.psychdata.com/s.asp?SID=140556. This study is estimated to take 15 minutes.

If you have any questions or concerns about this study please contact Natalie Rochester at nrochester@mail.twu.edu. Your participation is important and much appreciated. Thank you.

Hi, Natalie, thank you so much for sharing your loss of your precious kitty with us. I am so very sorry that others have not been supportive for you through your grief journey. It has only been recently - - in the past 5 to 10 years - - that clinical professionals have begun to recognize that the loss of a beloved companion is as painful as, if not more so, as the loss of a human family member or friend. Our beloved companions give to us their unconditiona love and undivided attention, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them without reservation - - for with them there is no fear of rejection. They don't care what our social status is, where we live, how much money we have, what jobs we do, etc.. They accept us for who we are - - totally and completely - - and this is one of the many reasons why the loss of their precious physical presence with us is so very painful - - both emotionally and physically.

I wish you the very best on your Master's thesis, Natalie. And, please know that we would truly enjoy knowing more about your precious kitty, if you'd like to share her with us in greater detail.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Natalie
What a wonderful way to honor your kitty! My guess is that people from this site will be significantly above the average when it comes to their animal-people bonds. I lost my precious Gretta , a beautiful 12-year-old chocolate lab, to neurological problems on April 10 of this year. Of course I was there when she went. I held her in my arms, told her much I loved her, and cried as she passed in my arms. I live alone, so the gried was (and still is) almost unbearable. Gretta was a rescue dog so I went to the rescue organization and adopted an older dog, a huge flat-coated retriever mix with leg tremors. We've been together for a week now and we'll do fine. I still feel like a Gretta-size hole shot out of my heart. One of the people on this site who hels us all a lot, Moon Beam, puts it this way: the hole in your heart never WILL go away because your fur-baby took part of it with him/her when she passed and in turn left a part of his or her heart for you to have and to hold. Finding this site was truly a Godsend. Everyone here seems to have had a deep soul/spiritual connection with their pet(s). We all understand, accept and try to support each other through the HUGE grief - sometimes even more than for people who pass - that we've all gone through, are now going through or will be going through soon (that's the hardest of all).
Thanks again for using this agonizing experience in your life to further your studies and kudos to your master's advisor and committee for OKing this project.
Please keep us posted on your study and on how your heart is doing.

Gretta's mom