Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The
other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print
in the
middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your
food
and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me
to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall
faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry
about
this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
It is
not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out
and
having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing
but
sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some
miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your
paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same
door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --
canine or
feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I
cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
They live here. You don't.
If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"nature.)
I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is
short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because
they:
1 Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.
And finally,
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
To all that read this, please feel free to post your babies pics in this thread. I love seeing them, and sure others would love to see them also.
Thanks
Thanks for posting "Dear Dogs & Cats.......I had read that in one recently in somebody's thread. It was just the right medicine for me at a time I need a good laugh.
I loved it so much that I put in on scrapbook paper and framed it.
The second part to "All non-pet Owners" was a hoot too. That I had not read before, so I will copy that one as well.
So glad you brought that here for all to share a laugh with
Bue's Mommy:
Thank you so much for posting Dear Dogs and Cats .
It's just what I needed at this time.
God Bless you and yours,
Denise xo
I love the part about the stairs not being designed by Nascar ! I'll be sure to post it where Frankee the kitten can read it! Thanks for sharing. I'm overdue for a good laugh!
Michelle
Hugs all, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I had it in Bue's thread, and LoveThem suggested I post it alone so all could see. You have no idea how happy you made me by saying it made you smile.
A big shout out to LoveThem, it was her suggestion.
I'm trying to keep this post towards the top, so others in pain can see it. so here's a Kitty Bump! lol
Thank you, LS support for pinning it for me.
Thanks again for posting such a funny and uplifting message. I have copied both and have posted them in our home.
The part about the stairs reminded me of a time when Goliath got me up at 2:00 in the morning to go outside. It was January and colder than you know what!
The good mom I am got up and went to take him outside. He went down the stairs ahead of me and while trying to miss stepping on him, I missed the stair, tumbled to the bottom, and broke my right foot as well as my big toe. I was casted for 6 weeks........but thank God he was fine. And yes! Broken bones and all I took him outside to go potty before I went to the ER
Hugs Goliaths Mom, The thread you saw this is was mine, i'm so glad you got enjoyment from it.
OMG, you broke your foot, and still took him outside, you are a excellent mommy.
I'm not so sure I could have done that. When you truely love unconditionally though, all bets are off. If Bue was a dog, I would have too, lol.
Bue's Mommy: What can one say about something that just is perfection?
Only that, IT IS PERFECT! I'm so glad you had this Pinned. When anyone needs to smile....it's a perfect place to come and have that happen.
I'm glad you suggested it Judy. Please post some of Lucky's pics here too, we love seeing him pose.
I see by your picture..you caught your babies watching TV. I'm just trying to figure out WHO has the REMOTE CONTROL?
LMAO! Guess?
This is John B's Sadie
Thank you, Bue's mommy.
You're most welcome John.
I just have to say again JohnB Sadie is breathtaking, what a gorgeous liittle girl. I know she is a queen, but I can totally see her as a kitten.
I thought this was really cute
Is this one of your catloves? That is hillarious! Thanks for the laugh this morning. Is he on his way to the fridge?
LMAO, why yes, yes he is on the way to the fridge!
I'm glad you enjoyed it Goliaths Mom. I will be posting more pics like this on Bue's thread, ok?
As a matter of fact I think I will post a really funny one right now.
I have just lost my beautiful kitten who we had for just one week, I haven't been able to write what happened quite yet as its just too hard, but your post managed to make me smile, so thank you for that.
***
Hugs RhiRy,
I know your heartbroken.
I truly believe in reincarnation, just as your kitty found its way to you
another one will also. Bue was the first kitten I ever adopted.
I always adopted older kitties, because I did not want them put to sleep.
LOL, I kept some that I did not even bond with.
My point is that it gets a little easier.
You will always have the scar, but it fades a little day by day.
Thats how I think of it.
Anyways, you'll know when you're ready to write about it, and it will be good therapy.
I'm happy that I could help put a smile on your face at this difficult time.
I have other funny pics of cats on Bue's thread, they will make you smile too.
Here's a pic just for you.
http://s293.photobucket.com/albums/mm49/LIovemykittez/?action=view¤t=Conspiracy.jpg
Take Care
Hugs Corina, the post I made was for both you, and RhiRy.
I have not been here in 5 mths so the new website has some things that are new.
to loose two babies at once, OMG, I can't imagine what pain your in.
Please know that my postive thoughts are with you through this most difficult time.
I'm soo very sorry for you loss
Here is a pic for you
http://s293.photobucket.com/albums/mm49/LIovemykittez/?action=view¤t=bestfriendkitties-1.jpg
Thanks for sharing. You made me laugh when I was crying about my Dylan. I lost him April 26, 2008 to chronic renal failure with hypertention. He would of turned 18 on 08/04/08.
I miss my best friend so very much.
Michelle
Loved that post. I hope I can get this on here. It's a picture of Bob, a Manx with NO sense of humor. He would not get any of that post. He is very serious about cat business and all things related to his food dish. Someone dumped him in my yard when he was a bitty piece of fluff. Now he is a large lump of fluff. I didn't think I'd get to keep him so I jokingly named a Manx Bob, and I don't think he's ever forgiven me. But after the death of my 2 big fur baby dogs this summer he is in charge and large. He's gotten real bossy with my 10 lb Cairn Terrier. I guess size does count, and seniority.
http://s293.photobucket.com/albums/mm49/LIovemykittez/?action=view¤t=DoggyDoor.jpg
http://s293.photobucket.com/albums/mm49/LIovemykittez/?action=view¤t=SolitaireKitty.jpg
http://s293.photobucket.com/albums/mm49/LIovemykittez/?action=view¤t=redneck_cat.jpg
http://s293.photobucket.com/albums/mm49/LIovemykittez/?action=view¤t=DangerKitty.jpg
Just a few pics to help put a little smile on your face.
Thanks for the smiles Bue's Mommy. I needed those tonight!
Ahhh....so true!!! I was starting to wonder if my kitties were crazy (I call them my crazy kitties) especially because of the running into any open door and then banging to get out. Not so much with my pooches...but it made me laugh. I definitely need to post the notice to non-pet owners. They should know what they are entering into once they come into my house:)
Thanks for the laugh.
~Shannon
Thank you thank you thank you for this. My kitty was definately one to take up the whole bed and God forbid if you wanted to move in! Ha ha...I usually ended up placing myself around him. Ahh, cats..gotta love em.
*** C
Thanks so much for posting this...reminds me so much of Chickie. When she was alive, I was ABSOLUTELY not allowed to go to the bathroom by myself. If I closed the door, she would get both paws under the door and shake it back and forth in the doorjamb. If I was taking a shower, she was sitting on the sink counter to make sure I was okay when I got out and when I took a bath, she would sit on the edge of the tub, occasionally testing the water temperature for me .....all ten+ years that she was with me. I sure do miss my kitty bathroom supervision!
Now that is delightful, thanks for this soothing input!
Your refrigerator door poster has brought a lot of laughter to ones who needed it, and if they get exhausted from that laughter...you find the pictures that can brighten a day with smiles.
It is such things that can make us forget just for a second our losses and remember the joy our special ones gave us..and that produces the smile that is needed.
I'm glad your words got "pinned" so they continue to comfort.
And your Bue is as beautiful as ever. Our avatars can never leave us. But then being Angels...they would be by our side forever.
Judy
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words,
playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally John was fed up and he yelled at the Parrot. The parrot yelled back.
John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude.
John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet.
Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arm and said, "I believe I may
have offended you with my rude language and actions.
I am sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I Fully intend to do
everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was
about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his
behavior, The bird continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?"
http://s293.photobucket.com/albums/mm49/LIovemykittez/?action=view¤t=Kittybox-1.jpg
http://s293.photobucket.com/albums/mm49/LIovemykittez/?action=view¤t=ZeensTongue.jpg
http://s293.photobucket.com/albums/mm49/LIovemykittez/?action=view¤t=FILE0009.jpg
Bue's brother, and sisters
The last line of your story....I didn't see it coming but it did make me LOL. Thanks for the laughter.
Those pictures are gorgeous. The "cat in the box" reminds me of my new boy Lucky. He actually will jump inside any open box...very easy to get to the vet for nail clipping, I must say. Very different from my Little Guy who DID NOT want to get inside ANYTHING!
Thanks again.
Judy
The lights of your life: so so sweet!!!!!!!!!beautiful kids looking most content, you are their world and it's such a beautiful one, that's what I read in their expressions.......how lovely to stop by your thread, thanks!
Your slide show is simply BUE-ti-full!!! You've put all of your pics together PRRRRfectly. Thanks for sharing your kittieloves with all of us. You've always brought others so many smiles and I am glad to see you back sharing them once again.
Huggers,
Beth
Thanks Bue for your very kind words. I am so glad that we could be there for you and I'm so happy to see you here. "All for one and one for all "!this should be the motto for all of us here on Lightning Strike, we are all together here to receive and give comfort to one another, to make things better, to get over the worst and move on to the more positive that can be. With spring at our doorstep, I hope that we can open windows and let the sun shine in. There is so much that we can bring to those who come here, each of us forms a necessary part of a whole, a support system for the grieving, some of us are ancient grievers, others merely old, some are quite new, some are read and some are Bue . Hugs to you Bue's Mommy and Bue, Peace and goodwill to all.
Oh my goodness Bue's Mommy! The pic you posted looks just like my Browser. Where do you find all these? Thanks for bringing some cheer and kind words from your heart.
My frineds send the pics to me Beth, they know how much I love critter pics.
I'm so glad you enjoy them also.
World's Ugliest Cat' Wins Fame In The US
11:11am UK, Thursday March 05, 2009
A cat who lives at a US veterinary hospital because his owner gave him up has been branded the world's ugliest feline.
'Ugly Bat Boy'
Ugly Bat Boy has reportedly been invited on to a TV chat show. Picture: WMUR9
Eight-year-old "Ugly Bat Boy" has become something of a tourist attraction in New Hampshire.
The cat's breed is not known.
His chest is covered in a tangle of hair, but the rest of his skin is bald and rubbery, probably due to a genetic fault.
He does look odd but he's a lovely natured cat. There is definitely a sphinx in there somewhere, but who knows what else.
Ugly's owner Dr Stephen Barrett
His tail is slim and rat-like and his face is a mess of wrinkles.
Vet Dr Stephen Barrett adopted "Uggs" as a kitten, after being called to treat the cat's sister, who was also born bald.
Dr Barrett took pity on Uggs when the owner wanted to give him away.
Ugly spends his time keeping warm by sitting on a computer at Exeter Veterinary Hospital, and Dr Barrett says the staff adore him.
"He does look odd but he's a lovely-natured cat," he said.
"There is definitely a sphinx in there somewhere, but who knows what else."
One visitor, appalled by Ugly's appearance, snapped a photo and emailed it to friends. That sparked his rise to fame.
It has been reported that Dr Bassett has received an offer to take Uggs on The Ellen Degeneres Show.
This story will touch your heart, and you will cry with joy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvCjyWp3rEk
Bat Cat
These pics are Clouded Leopard cubs, born at The National Zoo.
It's very rare to have these cubs born in captivity.
Enjoy
This guy is calle The Lion Whisperer.
My kities love to stuff themselves into boxes.
Bue used to split the box open, because he was a big boy.
your cats are so lucky to have a mom like you, you always bring them so much joy, thanks for being who you are and how you keep doing wonderful stuff for your fine felines. My cats loved boxes too and paper bags, what
a thrill to get into those too!
http://s293.photobucket.com/albums/mm49/LIovemykittez/?action=view¤t=7552d0db.pbw
This beautiful parrot is in the, "Cat Sitter DVD".I just lost my Hunny on Saturday. I got a good laugh from this. Thank you.
I am having trouble uploading a photo of my baby.
Happy Easter Everyone
This is one of the best stories online. It's about a Lion named Christian from London. You can read the full story on the link I provide It will touch your heart. http://animal.discovery.com/tv/christian-the-lion/ Please turn your speakers on to watch the videos.
I miss you sooo much Bue, it still hurts. Mommy loves you, he's a good boy!
i love the pics of all of your beautiful pets. i just lost a wonderful part of my life my dog pretty girl. she was a rotweiler that i found in the middle of the street. back leggs broke, starved and betten almost dead. they told me to put her to sleep she was to far gone but i would not. i found out that she was a fighting dog that was supossed to be killed who got away. oh how i loved that dog. she was a soul that shinned. i lost her on april the 18.2009 due to congestive heart problems. she was suffering so. when she died i feel as if a part of me has died to. people around me just don't understand how i could feel the way i do i tell them that for me not only was she a wonderful pet,but she was like my own child.. god bless all of you who love your animals and care for them. i miss my pretty girl so much. i love her always.
I love, and miss you Bue Bear.
Our fur babies mean so much to us, this pic says so much!
Yeah, I'm gonna need you to floss more!
My Catz Watching HDTV, LOL!
My Catz Watching HDTV, The Sequel!
Par-Tay!
MY how toilet paper flies when cats are having fun !Love that too cool bathroom and aren't the kitties having a blast, are these cats that you know?
Are your car keys missing?
Does your feline have road rage? LOL
Forget downward facing dog, this is upward facing cat!
Thank you for all your lovely photos.
I want to put this picture of my beloved Harley. People often thought we were crazy for taking so many pictures of our dog, but I sure am glad that we did.
I came down for breakfast one day and turned on Sportcenter, and when I came back, there was Harley watching the hockey highlights. It was at that moment that I truly knew he was my dog.
I thought you would all enjoy this pic, it's adorable!
I loved it and I laughed, so nice to laugh for a change. I am going to copy it off and put in on view somewhere.
madi xx
I'm so glad it made you smile Madi, and thank you for posting.
If any of the other members would like to post funny pics/vids, to help fellow members, please feel free to do so.
Here's a funny video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UuLAZpHbMo
This is soooo cute, yes?
Love it Bue's Mommy, it is another priceless picture, thanks for bringing so many smiles, you are the best!!!!
What an adorable picture Bue's Mommy.
This video will make you laugh so hard.
No, it's not my cats lol.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nW28rOnLOQ
If you don't laugh, I will come clean your house, lol j/k.
Always adding a to my face girl. Keep the smiles and laughter coming. We all need you and the warm feelings you bring.
Huggers,
Beth
Hugs Beth, how are you, and your family doing?
I find I'm way better at trying to help others with a smile, then trying to explain the pain they feel when they loose a baby. Thank you for all your support gurl.
I'm about to check out your thread
See you soon.
Janika, omg how cute are those pics.
Thank you so much for posting them, please keep um coming.
Talk to ya soon
OMG, this skit on Jay Leno was hilarious. It's about a crime fighting cat, and his partner.
Robert Wagner is in it as a bad guy. Check it out, you'll laugh so hard.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/102343/the-jay-leno-show-cop-and-kitty-part-1
http://www.nbc.com/the-tonight-show/video/cop_n'_kitty_2/1183383/
I saw the Jay Leno skit and I loved it! Sooooooooooo funny! =]
I'll post some pictures of my kitties.............Cupcake and Tiger. R.I.P. Tiger.
For more pics of Tiger, see my signature! =]
Hi Melissa ♥'s Tiger 4ever♥, Those pics of your babies are sooo cute. I'm so very sorry for your loss.
If you come across any funny pics of any animals on the web, please feel free to post them. I love big cats, but they don't do funny stuff. I post anyways because they're so magnificient.
I hope Jay does more, "Cop and Kitty" skits too.
Talk to you soon Melissa
This is my friends Serval hybrid, he is a great kitty. He's frekin huge, and very protective. One night I was at my friends house, and some peeps came by. They introduced themselves, and the kitty wouldn't let them shake my hand. Previous to them knocking on the door, kitty was laying across me. He's about 12yrs old.
Can you see the face in this picture?
Happy Eggster!
Hi everyone, I just wanted to show you my virtual kitty. She does everything a real kttty does, and she looks like my real kitty too.
Check it out, btw here's some pics of her. You can also have your kitty/doggie on your desktop like I did.
It might help take your mind off the pain of your loss.
http://www.foopets.com/
Honestly, I feel like this site is good for kids, and adults alike. Please check it out!
My Kitty
FooKitty
My Kitty
FooKitty
If you adopt pm me, and let me know, we can feed each others animals.
More Foo kitty pics
Well, my kitty moved into a new crib today. It has hardwood floors, and it's on the beach.
I also wanted to show you another members crib, omg it's tight!!!! I want my kittiez crib to look like this in the future.
If you join, your first pet is free. You also earn foogems just by loggin on, and you feed your animals with that. Check out this Youtube Vid about it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLLy7ACynJs
My kitty watching me feed a Foo German Shepherd puppy.
She started to watch as I threw the pup a frisbee, and he caught it 4 times in a row, lol.
Today my bonding period is over with my kitty. I have never let his happiness level go down, not once. Foo's live between 10-20 yrs. I find it amazing that the cats on the site look like my cats in real life.
You don't have to spend any real money to enjoy this site.
I just closed escrow on a loft for Feloniouz, he wanted a bigger place, lol. I'm really attached to him, and constantly call him her, since my rw kitty who looks like him is a girl. I think there's even an I app for your phone for FooPets, as well.
My plan is to get the Maine Coon, and the Calico for obvious reasons.
I had decided after Bue died that I wouldn't get anymore kitties, I just didn't want to feel that pain ever again. I'm still in pain, but this helps alot. Coming here, and posting things to make ya laugh, really helps me too. When it's time for mine to pass their online version will still be with me. Not as a replacement, but as a transition.
Peep his new crib.
BTW, the tiger skin rug is a faux one, so no letters, please. LOL
This is my new baby, Apollo. They grab their own bowl when you feed them. They also act like a real puppy, running around in circles. I'm going to make a slidehsow soon. Some of the members have backrounds scenes you would not believe. They're so imaginative, and awesome! Keep in mind I'm still a newbie, so Apollo's crib isn't tight yet, tee-hee.
BTW, I forgot to mention that Apollo is a Pokey Rottie, they 're very coveted because you can only get them from other members now. But if you're like me, and you show that you take care of your first Foopet, then a member will give you a Pokey for 20FD, that means 20 Foo Dollars. You can earn five FD a day, and 50 FD a month being in Club Foo. It's 3.33 a month. You can also have a good time there without spending any real cash. Once you go there, and get a kitty/puppy, mark my words, you will be hooked!
I'm hoping to get a Chocolate Lab next. I've been feeding this one, he's abandoned.
Isn't he too adorable?
I'm also hoping to get a black Lab.
This pic is what they look like when they're hungry
This is what they look like after they're feed
In the real world, I only drop off food to the kitty shelter, I don't get to feed them.
Most of them are ferals, they look so cute huddled next to one another.
You can feed these online abandons, and get starpoints for it.
Well now that the weather is warmer, my online critterz now reside outside.
Well I got the puppies I wanted, I'm so excited. The senior members of FooPet rawk. They really helped me achieve my goal. I have only been there for little over a month.
It's so much fun hooking up their environments, funny thing is that I'm a cat person.
Even though I had dogs as a kid, I've never owned one as an adult.
Feloniouz
Winter
Apollo
Seritah
OMG, this is sooo funny. Check it out, you won't be sorry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpNKwB0Je2o
I think this pic is so cute of a Foo Aussie, and a child.
This thread is helping me remember that even though Winstson is gone I still have Miya and Takoda, who are two of the best dogs in the world:
This is Winston... we lost him on Sunday, 7/25/2010.
This is Takoda. She's your typical, floppy, lovable mutt. When she was not quite a year old she actually jumped through our glass front door to be with our son while he mowed the lawn. We took her to the vet for a cut on her leg and were told she was fine, but after that she started gimping that leg... she could run just fine but when she sat she'd sometimes hold that paw off the ground. Another trip to the vet and they found a shard of glass in her leg they removed surgically. Now, when Takoda is trying to get your attention and she feels your ignoring her, she'll whoof at you and when you look she gimps that same leg up.
This is Miya, Takoda's sister from the same litter. We originally got Takoda when she was a puppy from someone I worked with so Winston would have company.. when the woman called to confirm when I'd be there to get her she jokingly said "we have one other puppy from the litter left, do you want her too?" I laughed out loud and said "do we want her too?" and my wife said "Yes, we want her too". When Miya was a puppy she'd wake up early in the morning and I'd bring her downstairs, set her on my lap and pet her till she fell back asleep. She still likes to climb in my lap. smile.gif She's more timid and shy than Takoda but still a huge loverbug.
Hi Wchamilton, I'm so sorry for your loss of Winston. I'm glad this thread helped you to remember the two babies that are still in your life.
I still have my Bue's two sister, and brother. They're not from the same litter.
I miss, and love you so much Bue-Bue. It's been 3 yrs, and it's still painful. hopefully through this thread I can help others who are in pain. Because laughter can be the best medicine.
I love you Bue-Bue, he's a good boy!
I love the part about the bathroom but casper never had to try to get in their before me she always was hanging out in the sink
mi babygirl been gone for 3 months now it life sucks witout her
Hi I am new here and was Morning Glory's mom until Dec 15th when I had to let her go...it is so very hard...I wish she was here to have read what you said in this post; she would have thought it funny like I did....needed a bit of a cheer up in the midst of my crying...thank you fore reminding me to remember the happy times...
Ebony & Ivory https://imgur.com/gallery/A2Nkc
WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary....
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary....
Day 983 of my captivity....
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously demented.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now....
This is the engineers guide to cats, it's really funny.
https://youtu.be/mHXBL6bzAR4
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