Hi, folks. I'm new here. I lost my 7-year-old dog on May 14. He was such a good boy and got along with all my foster dogs. Actually, he was my second foster and I fell in love with him. He was at a kill shelter and one of the techs pulled him believing he just needed a few more days of exposure for him to find his forever home. He only had my home and I only had him for three years.

Ernest used to sleep with me and he was not your typical bed hog. He would settle on one side of the bed and not move until I did. Then he'd just resettle and not more again. In the morning when he thought I was getting up for the day he'd just lift his head and look at me to be sure it was a new day and then he'd stand on my chest. Ooff!

On the Sunday before I put him down I got out of bed and discovered blood on my sheets. I saw blood in his mouth and thought maybe he had an abscess. The problem was, I was leaving that morning to fly to Florida to help out my dad with some things. My mom, the person I loved more than anyone in the world, September 1. The young lady watching my house, my dogs, and my cat called my friend to say that Ernest had blood in his urine and his poo. My friend took him to emergency services.

For the next three days I worried and authorized procedures to get his platelet levels up. That's why he was bleeding everywhere. It was horrible that I couldn't be with him. When I returned from Florida I went to see him and he looked very, very tired. He was shaved all over, panting, bleeding, and had a catheter in his front leg. I laid with him until he stopped panting and leaned up against my leg they way he always did.

I made the decision to let him go. First I had to go teach a class. I rushed back to the emergency hospital and got all my crying done before he was brought in. Again, I laid with him until he stopped panting and relaxed against my leg. I called the doctor in and as he was administering the first needle Ernest was licking at the catheter and the doctor's hand. Within a minute he just slumped over and was gone. I was assured that his illness was nothing that I had done and that things would not have been different if I had brought him to the vet sooner.

Ernest's illness coming too close on the heels of my mom's death has sent me into a very downward spiral. I miss him so much. Can anyone offer me comfort?

Dear Breadandcircuses

I send my heartfelt condolences for the sad losses of first your beloved Mom, and now your dear Ernest.

I wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and that I too am heartbroken right now over the sudden loss of my rescue dog, Pixie, just 3 weeks ago. The vet said , heart failure. Our stories sound similar as she was saved by a no kill centre and then we found her. She was with us just over 3 years, 3 wonderful years. We think she was probably only about 5 years old... so young, as was your beloved Ernest.
Pixie was our second 'rescue' dog. I'm sitting here in tears and so I'm probably not the best person to help you, but I know how you must be feeling and I wanted to try and offer you my support, shakey as it is right now.

You truly are a great animal lover as you foster and adopt and so plainly care for your animals with great devotion. Ernest, sounds to have had a wonderful 3 years with you. I keep saying to myself.... how blessed we are that we have had these 3 years with them, they brought so much to our lives and hopefully they knew how much we loved them too. They got to know the love that they so deserved. If only they could have stayed longer...

There are some very caring and supportive people here at LS. They have helped me over the last 4 years. Everyone here understands how we feel. They have all been through this dreadful loss.
Please let us know how you are and know that I send hugs and prayers to help you through.
Take care.
Jan x

It is the one true cross a pet lover bears - to give love so freely to our animals knowing that there time with us is very finite. I think because animals love so unconditionally it makes the loss that much harder. I am so very sorry for you loss! ((hugs))

Hi, Breadandcircuses, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in your physical losses of your beloved Mom and beloved companion Ernest. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels. Losing a companion so close to another loss - - as this situation with your Mom - - intensifies the grief.

Breadandcircuses, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that usually overwhelm us all at one time - - it is a journey that is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride - - for you are now on a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in your own way and in your own time. It is a journey that cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and the memories of "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year," etc.. to endure - - for both your beloved Mom and your beloved companion Ernest.

The good news in the midst of your deep sorrow is that the love bond you and your beloved Ernest share - - and you and your Mom - - is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Mom's and companion Ernest's sweet Living Spirits continue to share your earthly journey as they always have and always will - - for they are always and forever a part of your heart and memories, Breadandcircuses - - they are always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know from first hand experience that there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the deep seering pain of sorrow that is in your heart, Breadandcircuses. I can only hope and pray that the words I share with you will be able to offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journeys. One of the many things you need to remember is that you are NOT alone - - each of us here DO understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Ernest with us, and your Mom. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture of your beloved Ernest with us - - but only if / when you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Breadandcircuses, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you for your kind responses. My name is Patricia. Feel free to call me by name.