I hurt so much right now, and the tears won't stop.....my precious fur baby, Bailey....our half-Maine Coon spoiled kitty...went to Rainbow Bridge just a few hours ago....I hurt...I mean I physically hurt. I know that he isn't in pain and discomfort anymore...but it doesn't help my heart. My husband and I feel like we have lost a child..we have no kids together; our fur kids are our babies....it doesn't seem real...and then the realization comes crashing down...I think I hear Bailey chewing my husband out in kitty language for not turning the bathroom sink on fast enough...and then more tears come...has anyone else felt like this?

I don't know if anyone can help...everything seems like the roller coaster ride from you-know-where...I know I did the right thing for my Bailey...but it hurts so much...this was my baby...he saw me through a major health crisis, through many tears, he made me smile...I have barely slept because he isn't here to lay on my pillow next to my head. After about three hours of fitful sleep, I woke up to the smashing reality that my boy is gone...and no one understands how I feel. The other kitties are crying and going through the house looking for him...my Siamese just cries and cries. This is awful...I wonder if I made the right decision...it seems like there wasn't enough time...and there never could be enough time...

My sweet boy was diagnosed with megacolon in January. After monthly trips to the vet for enemas to evacuate him, Monday night, he just...wasn't right. My best friend was at the house and she and I found him in my office closet. He could barely meow and he just looked at me like "I don't feel good, Mama..." The vet had trained me how to give enemas at home...so my friend and I did...no results....he slept with me that night as always, but the next morning, he tried to "go" and couldn't...so my husband and I rushed him back to the vet. We thought they could help where we couldn't....we have tried everything...diet and food changes, medications...enemas...and he was so good about it....we left him at the vet for enemas and xrays, and thought he would be coming home...then the call came...Bailey wasn't responding (or his colon wasn't, I should say) to anything. We had two choices: surgery (which he would more than likely not survive) to remove his colon, a smaller surgery to manually try to break up the fecal matter that was stuck in his pelvis, or euthanasia. I asked if the smaller surgery would cure him; they told me that his colon would only fill up again within a week at the most. So I asked how uncomfortable he was, and if he was suffering...and if there was a good chance he may make it through the major surgery....but I knew, in my heart, I knew...I saw it in his eyes. He didn't fight me getting into his cat carrier...it was different this time.

So, given the grave prognosis, my husband and I had to make a decision...what was best for our beloved baby. We asked to see him, and it was clear what we had to do...he was so uncomfortable...and the trauma to his body from repeated enemas was so much on him...he sat in my lap and purred...looking up at me with those gorgeous eyes that were telling me what I had to do....

My husband and I were both in the room...he was on a blanket...in my arms...hearing us both tell him how much we love him and what a good boy he was when he went to sleep....then the vet gave him the final shot....my boy...taken from us way too soon...he was supposed to grow old...not be with us for only 5 short years....I have never cried so much....I kept telling him that I was sorry that I couldn't fix it...I couldn't make it better...and I tried...I really did....but nothing I did was good enough....and now, my house is too quiet. He isn't laying next to me as I work on my homework...he isn't screaming at my husband to turn the water on in the bathroom sink for him to drink from....he wasn't sleeping on my head last night...and in a few days, I have to go pick him up..I will bring him home a final time...in a box. I know I did the right thing...but this pain is almost unbearable...the tears don't stop...I am sorry to ramble, if I am...I just needed to "talk"...thank you for letting me....

Baileysmama,

Please accept my sincerest condolences on the loss of your precious Bailey. I too just lost 2 of my beloved boys within the last 3 weeks, one had to be helped to the bridge and the other went naturally. And I lost my oldest just last year. I know your pain. It feels like I've been hit by a sledgehammer, my body aches, my heart hurts and I can't breathe right.
The best thing we as pet parents can do is be there for our babies. To listen to them the best we can and if the time comes, to help them on their final journey to the bridge. It is one of the hardest things we will ever have to do, but also one of the most loving.
I know doubt is natural, but It sounds to me as though you absolutely did the right thing.
And I know that there is one thing that brings me a bit of comfort. When the time is right, they will let me know they are with me. My boy, Mulder, did this last year and I can not express how much it helped my grieving process. My Mattie and Atticus have not chosen to come to be yet, but I know when the time is right they will. You just have to keep your heart and your mind open and Your Bailey will too.
Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Your baby Bailey is as well.

BTW... My Mattie was half Maine Coon, they are such special, special babies.

Hi, baileysmama, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Bailey. Losing a compoanion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness.

Baileysmama, as you know this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity - - both physically and emotionally. When our companons come into our hearts, our lives are changed for the better. Every time they lick / kiss us, rub against us, etc., they are literally chemically marking us so that they can tell us from the other millons of people on this plant. When they precede us to the angels, our lives are changed again. We area faced with the most incredibly painful journey of having to re-invent our lives that no longer revovles the physical, emotional, and medical needs our our companions. It is obvious from what you share with us that you and your husband did everything that was in your power to humanly and humanely give your beloved Bailey a happy and healthy earthly journey. Sadly, their physical bodies are not designed for immortality on this side of eternity - - and there are situations that arise that cannot be made "right" regardless of our financial "wealth" or the many wonders now available with modern veterniary services. Sometimes all we can do is ease their journey home to the angels. Baileysmama, I hope in time your heart willl be able to really know that you did what you could for him, and that he is now at peace in the company of the angels.

From first hand experience I know when our hearts are in the deepest grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow in turn. Still, I hope that you will somehow know from the words I share with you that you will feel the comfort, encouragement, support and hope that your beloved Bailey will be able to help you know that you do not need to feel guilty for anything.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Bailey with us, Baileysmama. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a peaceful evening bessed with your beloved Baileys Mom. Please know you are in my thoughts and pr and Ginger, Please let me know ow things go.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you both for your kind words...it means so much to know that there are people who understand out there. I am a wreck...I can't sleep, I can't stop crying...and the physical pain is awful. I have tried to attach a file of my boy and I together sleeping one day...I just miss him so much :'( We have other furbabies that help...but they aren't Bailey...people have told me that I have "replacements"...this was like a child to me...these people wouldn't say if I had a human son of 5 that died that "at least you have another one." I mean, I know people mean well, but....he was my baby...and the older kitties just go through the house looking for him and cry and cry...I love on them, but I don't know how to help them or my husband. I can't fix this...when I close my eyes, I see his face...I know my thoughts are all jumbled, and I am sorry....but I don't know where else to turn but here...

Hi, baileysmama, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and this wonderful picture of you and your beloved Bailey. He is a handsome lad!! There is no doubt looking at this picture that he knows he is eternally loved.

Please let me try to reassure you that what you feeling is very normal grief, baileysmama - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. This grief adjustment journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time. It is a journey that cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and the memories that are painful now of "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year, etc" to endure. But I promise you, baileysmama, that one day when you least expect it you will be thinking of your beloved Bailey and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and your heart will fill with the warmth of knowing that your beloved Bailey is smiling, too.

But it is going to take time for you to reach this point in your grief adjustment journey. Unfortunately our society in general, and sometimes the people who are closest to us emotionally and geographically, do not understand or accept the reality that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is identical to the loss of a human family member or friend. I assure you, baileysmama, that each of us here DO understand, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Bailey with us. I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Bailey's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you again, moonbeam....you are a blessing right now...everyone here is. I was finally able to get some sleep; although part of it was during the day yesterday and then I crashed from exhaustion last night. For the first time since Wednesday, I did not have nightmares when I fell asleep I received an apology from the person, who is one of my closest friends, who told me that I have replacements...a mutual friend of ours was over to her house and hurt her foot, so I was over giving some medical care. She also had to have a furbaby put to sleep, a year ago this week, in fact, and my friend/neighbor was listening, and realized that while she meant well, she didn't understand the level of grief that I am experiencing.

Today, I am starting to attempt to go back to my "normal" routine; that is, what I guess would be considered "normal". I still don't want to talk on the phone or deal with many people; I know that I have to adjust and it is going to take some time. Last night I was able to laugh a little...and share a funny story about Bailey. I still have a lump in my throat, and there are certain people who just upset me more if they call because all they want to just dredge up the events of that day...I am not ready to talk about it much...and I don't want to see pictures taken right before my baby left my arms....

See, that day, my husband and I went down to the vet clinic...and my "best" friend came down. We had arranged to spend some time with Bailey before the pink shot was administered. My friend brought a whole entourage with her, which when they ALL came into the room, it upset my baby boy...they finally left, then my friend came back in...and then, the vet tech came in, and she started giving the tech a hard time because Bailey wasn't home and wasn't going to be home when he left this world...the tech said they did come out to the house, but that if they did that, it would not be that day....and I knew that there was NO way that I was strong enough for that....this is hard enough...so my friend got mad, said it was up to me (umm, yeah...since he was MY kitty)..and that I just wanted it "over with." I could've knocked her upside the head for that comment...over with? I mean, seriously??? Who says that? I would rather have died myself than make the decision to send my beloved fur baby to Rainbow Bridge! I didn't want it over with; I just wanted him to be okay. I wanted him to be better....and the only way to do that was to let him go. I loved...no, love him so much that I had to do the unthinkable...and I know it was the right thing; the best thing for our Bailey....

So yesterday, after talking with my son (who is returning from Germany in 9 days), I took a sleeping pill because I wanted to sleep...I looked like a hot mess, my eyes had dark circles under them, and I knew I needed rest...next thing I know, my cell phone is blowing up...with pictures from the once again "best" friend...not of Bailey and I right before he died, but of devotional pages...I am a Christian, and I read the Bible (although I want to know if there are any scriptures that tell me about pets in heaven), and I pray...the one page she sent me said that I was on the brink of shaking my fist at God...that I need to thank Him...yada yada...and NO, I mean no disrespect to God...but that is not how I feel...I am thankful to God, I am not angry with Him at all...I just need some space...time to myself and time to adjust...so then, when (because I was a little out of it and fell right back asleep) I didn't respond to her, next thing I know, my land line is ringing...it is my pastor's wife (who is also a pastor). I just fell back asleep, and didn't answer the call....couple hours later, when my husband was just getting home to change clothes before going to work all night, my phone goes off again...then the land line...then his phone...I wouldn't answer because I was talking to my husband...and when I hear my voicemail, this woman is angry because I won't take calls? I was finally getting some sleep without images that I will not describe invading my dreams (those of you who have had to euthanize our babies and have been in the room with our beloved fur kid probably know what I am talking about; I think it is too graphic to type)...and this person wants to make it all about her?? Okay, forgive me for a minute while I vent...um, last I checked, what happened on Wednesday had nothing to do with my so called "best" friend, and everything to do with the fact that I lost a child...yes, a four legged furry child, but he was my baby...and now, that I am trying to rest so I don't get sick and so I can try to return to a somewhat normal schedule and be okay when my son comes home in a little over a week...I am the bad guy here? My husband was in the room with me; I was talking to him about the nightmare I was having...and he was trying to reassure me about it...and I am an awful person because I wasn't taking anyone's calls at the moment? I go from being completely heartbroken and can't stop crying to being angry...and while I know, grief is a process, and there are steps to grief, so is what I am feeling normal in this process, or am I justified??

Hi, baileysmama, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to offer you some reassurance that what you are feeling IS very normal deep grief. The "problem" is NOT with you, baileysmama - - it is with people who, for some reason, do not respect your needs. You need to focus on what is best for YOU, and your family, during this time of physical and emotional adjustment to the physical absence of your beloved Bailey. The people who understand this need will make themselves known to you. The others who don't, can't, or won't understand need to have politely limited contact with you - - which includes screening their calls before answering the phone.

One of the very difficult adjustments we make is defining a "new normal" that no longer includes the physical needs of our beloved companion. For quite awhile every hour of every day is a painful reminder, "now is when Bailey and I would cuddle, - - now is when I would get Bailey a special treat, . . etc." Even when we have other precious companions in our home, the physical absence of one (or more) of them is profoundly noticeable. When our companions precede us to the angels, we literally go through both a physical and emotional withdrawal from their physical presence with us. This is one of the many reasons why this grief adjustment journey is so very painful - - both emotionally and physically.

And if I may try to respond to your request: "I am a Christian, and I read the Bible (although I want to know if there are any scriptures that tell me about pets in heaven), and I pray." Please let me try to reassure you that ALL of God's creatures are in heaven. There are many Scriptures that confirm this, but the one that truly summarizes all of them is Revelation 5:13. Several years ago I did a personal Scripture study on this topic, and will be glad to send it to you separately if you would like me to through the forum's private message.

Again, baileysmama, please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief. I hope today is treating you kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Bailey's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, baileysmama, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you again, Moonbeam...you are such a comfort to us here on this site. God bless you.

Bailey came home today...which of course brought a new set of tears...but something happened late last night/this morning when I finally was able to fall asleep...I have mentioned that we have other kitties...we have six now...three of which are kittens, around three months old. There are so many similarities to when Bailey was born that it is unreal...but God knows all...well, the orange tabby is a male that we named "Boog". He is the smallest of the litter (like Bailey) is mouthy (like Bailey), and is just adorable (again, like Bailey)....when Bailey was with us, he would sleep on my head every night, and at times he would exfoliate my forehead while purring his head off...but before that, he would wait for me to get settled, and curl up by my side and let me love on him....Lil Boog..for the first time ever...curled up by my side and let me love on him until I fell asleep...it was almost as if Bailey somehow was there...as a kitten once again...I can't describe it, but it felt okay...:')

Hi, baileysmama, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am so smiling about your precious little Boog. Oftentimes the companions who are with us takes on the behaviors of the beloved companion who has transitioned home to the angels. It is significant as I firmly believe it is your beloved Bailey's way of letting you know he is still with you and is now guiding your precious Boog to be his "witness" that Bailey is still with you. I am sooo glad that having your precious Boog curled up next to you is a comfort to you.

Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful experience with us, baileysmama. I hope today is treating you kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Bailey's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, baileysmama, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Today marks one month since I last held my baby boy...and the pain is just as real as it was that day. Little Boog is so much like my Bailey...and there are times that I swear Bailey is still here...then reality sets back in when I look at my mantle. Many people don't see my tears. Most don't understand this raw yet numbing loss I feel. There is a hole in my heart that nothing and no one can fill. Sometimes, I wish I could write to him and tell him how much I miss him, how much I love him; I know, it probably sounds crazy because pets can't read. After dreaming about him last night, I woke up in tears...which then woke my husband up. People from my church life group walk up to me and ask me if I replaced my cat yet...and tell me that it would help. I have six other cats, but what many just don't understand is that there was only one Bailey. One precious furbaby that pawed at my tears when I cried...one loveable (and chunky) furry face whose purr could soothe me when I felt sick...one four-legged baby that stayed with me when I was too sick or in too much pain to stand during my health crisis...who "talked" on the phone, and chewed me out in kitty language when he thought I was late coming home, or who screamed at the top of his lungs whenever he heard the can opener. I watched him be born, and I held him as he left us. There is not a day that has gone by since that awful day where I don't wish that I could bring him back. I know it is selfish to want him back...I know that I did the right thing for him; the most unselfish, loving thing I could do. It just hurts so much. Somehow, I have to pull myself together for my son's graduation/welcome home beach party tomorrow. I don't feel like celebrating; I feel like Bailey would think that we have forgotten him. This is the first party I have thrown that he won't be here for. He liked people and was the life of the party. People talked about how big he was, how cute he was, and how much of a personality he had...he was a human in cat form. Everyone else walks through their day like normal; me, I have a physical pain that doesn't go away. My world stopped a month ago. My schedule changed, and many people can't understand why I say that. I took care of Bailey, I gave him his medicine, cleaned him, cleaned up after him when he "missed" the box or when he got sick. I held him and loved on him...curled up with him at night, adjusting my pillow so he could sleep on my head. I look at the clock still at times and think "It's time to give Bailey his meds" then the wave of grief hits.

I am sorry to ramble...I just needed to come here where I know people will understand, which also sucks because you have or are in the same place where I am...but at least I know that he loved me as much as I loved my precious baby...and his love is worth any amount of tears....

Bailey, I love you...and I always will. You are forever in my heart...and I miss you more than words can ever begin to say...:'(

Hi, baileysmama, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to offer you some words of comfort and reassurance that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. Unfortunately, even though clinical professionals now recognize that the grief journey of the physical loss of a beloved companion is identical to the loss of a human family member or friend, sometimes the people who are closest to us emotionally and geographically do not.

This is why this wonderful forum is here - - to be a safe place where we can come to share what is in our hearts with those who DO know what we are going through. Please know there are no expiration dates here - - we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, baileysmama.

I hope you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Bailey's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. I know tomorrow is going to be a hard day "celebrating" your son's graduation. Please know that your beloved Bailey's sweet Living Spirit will be there celebrating with you - - and I hope you will feel him telling you, "mom, it's okay - - let's P A R T Y !!!"

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, baileysmama, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

baileysmama,

I want to let you know that I understand how you feel. I lost a dog four years ago and my current dog, Lucy is in late stage lymphoma. People around me are trying to comfort me as I am spending time daily to love Lucy during her last days on earth. As people we all have different boundaries. As I read that your friend interrupted your last moments with your Baliey, it sounded as though she was not respecting boundaries. I am having the same problems as a close family member is looking up golden relievers online to replace my Lucy as she hasn't even passed on yet. She's still alive, and I am loving her every moment.

I'm learning how to tell others what I need in a tactful way and when their actions are inappropriate to me. That is tough as I learned to live through codependent situations.

Thank you SO much for coming to this forum and trusting us to help you in your grief and sorrow. Whatever you do to grieve is OK. It's normal to feel guilty when we go on living and our loved pet is not there to share in the joy and comfort us in the difficult times. Losing a beloved pet feels like we are losing a part of ourselves. They spend so much time with us, know us so well, and love us unconditionally, which is more than what some humans do with us.

Please accept my condolences on the passing of your sweet Bailey. I came to this forum for help, and what is wonderful Is that I am finding a way to help others.

Thanks for sharing about how others are responding to Baliey's passing. Many people mean well, but their concern comes across in the wrong way. I know Lucy's time is coming and at first I thought I couldn't be there at the end. Now I'm thinking maybe I should because I don't want to feel guilty for not going in with her afterwards. No matter what I choose its going to be horribly difficulty, and Moonbean has shared that whatever I decide is okay. Moonbeam is an amazing support person.

Right now I'm dealing with anticipatory grief, and thanks to Moonbeam and others on this forum now I know what that is. This site has helped me in so many ways.

When you can, let us know how you are doing. My kind thoughts are sent your way.

Thank you both. I am sorry that I haven't responded before now. It is not easy for me to "talk" at times. I will pray for Lucy and you, michteach1972. My son's graduation party was a success; people actually stopped by Bailey's place on the mantle and said some kind words when they were here as well. Bailey was loved by all who came into contact with him, even those who didn't like cats liked him. He was very special, and in his eyes, he was human. Right now, though, the sad days outweigh the happy days. My poor husband wanted to crawl in a hole the other day. My birthday is soon approaching, and he got the mail, saw a card, assumed it was a birthday card, and gave it to me....it was a sympathy card from our vet and the entire staff who took care of Bailey. I fell apart, crying so hard that I had to sit back down, and the card fell...my husband picked it up, and felt awful. Then today, I thought I would call the vet and get pricing for my little guys "surgery". I thanked the girl who answered for the card, and then, when she had to put me on hold, I heard the same music and words that I would when I was placed on hold that final day. Then, the poor girl came back on the line and asked if I was making an appointment for Bailey...and realized what she said, and kept saying "Oh, my. I am so sorry." I told her it was a mistake, it was okay, and no worries, but I know she heard the tears in my voice. I am not upset with her; I think she wanted to cry right along with me. She was always the one who would schedule his appointments and check him in, and he would tell her all about his injustice. Habits are hard to break.

Does anyone know of a place online where I can find a angel cat pendant or something similar to wear in Bailey's memory/honor? I have thought about getting a tattoo but am still kinda scared to do so because it would be my first. My husband is going to plant a garden for Bailey outside; I just wanted to have something that would be with me all the time. It may sound crazy, but he was our child, albeit a furry four-legged one.

Hi, baileysmama, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I'm so glad to know that you were able to endure your son's graduation celebration, and that some of the guests paid their respects to your beloved Bailey. I know this must have soothed your heart and sorrow.

Yes, habits are hard to change - - particularly when they surround the routines and rituals we develop with our companions during their earthly journey with us. This is one of the many reasons why our grief adjustment journey is so very painful both physically and emotionally - - having to establish "new normals" that no longer include the physical presence of our beloved companion.

There are many different pieces of jewelry you can get to wear in loving memory of your beloved Bailey. I believe on the home page of this website there is a link to at least one vendor - - and of course you can do a web search as well. Please know that you are NOT crazy for caring for your beloved Bailey as a child. During his earthly journey he was totally dependent upon you for his every need - - physical, medical, emotional. It matters not that he shared his earthly journey with you in the physical form of a cat - - his needs were real and you, your husband, and Bailey now enjoy an eternal love bond that nothing in heaven or on earth can ever take away from you. And it is so very nice that your husband will be planting a garden to lovingly honor your beloved Bailey. It would be quite nice to see a picture of it once he has it finished - - if you would like to share a picture of it with us.

I hope today is treating you kindly, baileysmama, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Bailey's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, baileysmama, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear baileysmama,
I just signed up on this forum and I'll be posting my own story soon. But your story has had me in tears and sobs, since so much of your feelings and thoughts and experiences mirror my own. I am so heartbroken for you in your loss. I know from experience that, even this many months later, there are still many times when it's all as fresh as that final day (I'm about 36 hours away from the four month mark of losing my Jack, the absolute love of my life). I just wanted to answer a question you posted back in August, regarding a memorial pendant for your precious Bailey. I'm not sure if anyone answered you but there is a website, www.memorialpaw.com, that has (in my opinion) one of the most beautiful memorial symbols. I have one with a paw on it, but I later found out they also have one with a kitty profile, that I wish I'd known about. But I'm happy with my paw and wear it every single day. I've oddly gotten a lot of compliments on it, with people thinking it's "just" jewelry. I know they don't understand. People say they do, that they've been through "it" too, but what they don't understand is it's NOT the same. I've seen a lot of these people lose pets and, trust me, the loss they felt was nowhere near what I felt and continue to feel. Jack was my child, my son, and I have lost him. I truly understand your struggle for normalcy and answers for "why did this have to happen? and why him?" and the absence of a child, so please know my thoughts and heart are with you and your family. And I really want to thank you for posting about your grief. Like I said, I sobbed through everything you've written, but I feel much less alone and much less "crazy" than I've been feeling.
ForMyBabyJack