2 Weeks Ago Since I Lost My Beautiful Bengal Ari Options

[kk0711]

Hello kk,
I read your post with tears of understanding, and I am so very sorry about the loss of your precious Ari. I had to say goodbye to my sweet cat Jasper due to a sudden illness just three weeks ago, at the young age of seven also. It is so hard to wrap my mind around this, and I keep asking myself, how can he just not be here anymore, and sometimes I think I see a glimpse of him in all his favorite places, but I cannot touch him or hold him like I want to. I used to love coming home from work because I knew that my boy would be waiting for me at the door for his belly rubs, now I walk in still expecting to see him there, but he is not, and like you, my house feels so empty now. I have another cat named Jingles whom I love so dearly, but our family is still broken, and I am not sure if these shattered pieces will ever fit together again. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in your feelings, I only wish that I had the answer to ease your sadness, but I am so new to this and I am still trying to work through the pain, but it is the hardest thing I have ever done. I can only hope that with time, all that's broken will heal, hearts will be whole again, and we will be able to remember our dear kitties with a smile, and we will be able to embrace all the sweet, unconditional love they gave to us and still give to us every single day. Take care kk and know that you are going to get through this, one day at a time, one moment at a time, because your Ari is still very much with you every single day.

Hello jaspersmom,

I am so sorry for your loss of your sweet Jasper. Thank you for posting to me in your own time of sorrow, that is very kind of you. It is so hard to lose them suddenly and not really know why. Ari was the light of my life and we took such good care of him. Sometimes it takes my breath away when I realize he's gone and then I go back and try and figure out what I missed or could have done differently. It doesn't help much but I think it's just my nature to want to know what happened exactly. It has been extra hard since I came back from visiting my mother as his larger than life presence was so apparent in our household and is now gone.

I am so sorry that you are having this horrible pain as well. My only solace sometimes is the knowledge that I grieve so much because I loved him so much. I am sure it's the same for you with your beloved Jasper. I have gone to grief counseling, we did a memorial and I journal about Ari everyday as well as try and visit here. It all helps but the last couple of days have been really bad again. it will be 5 weeks since we lost our baby. Thank you for your words of comfort and I wish you peace and solace as you strive to get to that place where our fur babies are not forgotten but as you say, we can remember them and smile. It is for sure one day at a time.
kk

[kk0711]

I'm sorry for your loss and the great pain. Today is day 18 since I lost dodger, my beloved dog of 14 years. I am waiting for 3 books to be delivered to my front door,each sharing confidence thT I will see my dodger again on the other side. I have to believe and it mAkes it totally joyous. But the painful journey continues. Crying everyday I'm sorry for the sidedness of your loss. Peace and blessings during our time of great pain
Frank

Dear Frank,
Thank you for your words of comfort, I appreciate it especially since you are grieving your own loss of your beautiful dog, Dodger. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby of 14 years. I have several books and reread them frequently, it does help. I come here often too for support and to give support if I can. I know that our babies are at Rainbow Bridge and one day we will see them again. They are happy, youthful, and have all they need except for us but they wait patiently and I know it will be wonderful when we are reunited with them.

Take care and thank you again for your post,
kk

[kk0711]

Hi, kk, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Indeed, the adjustment to not having your beloved Ari greeting you when you get home is painfully difficult. The sound of silence can be deafening. Sadly, all of this, and more, is a part of this painful grief adjustment journey. I promise you, kk, that it will not always be this way. One day when you least expect it you will find yourself thinking of your beloved Ari and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and your heart will fill with the warmth of the many treasured memories you and your beloved Ari share.

But until this time comes for you, kk, please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Ari's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam, I always appreciate your kind words. It has been harder again these last few days since getting home from my trip. i have a lot of stress at work and the last few months have been punctuated with various losses. Losing Ari though has been one of the most gripping, devastating losses I can ever remember. I still forget he's gone sometimes and I talk to him everyday. Friday it will be 5 weeks since he died. I still don't eat well and need to take better care of myself but I am exhausted just getting through the work day.

kk

[moon_beam]

Hi, kk, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling and experiencing is very normal when you share with us: "I still don't eat well and need to take better care of myself but I am exhausted just getting through the work day." Grieving takes a lot of energy, and the stress of grieving leaves us with many symptoms including lack of appetite and feeling exhausted. So it is vitally important that you try to get extra rest whenever possible, and you may find it easier to eat smaller meals throughout the day instead of bigger meals three times a day - - even if it's just a cup of soup or broth.

I truly wish there was an easier way to navigate this grief adjustment journey but unfortunately the only way is one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time - - with the comforting reassurance that you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through, and who are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Ari's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[SapphireD910]

I just posted a similar story, and though it's been a while for you, I did want to pass on my condolences. My cat's situation seemed very similar towards the end. All I can think is that she was going into respiratory failure and watching her like that broke my heart. I couldn't not make the decision to let her go. But now, my first full day without her, I'm at a lost. My boyfriend held me close all night and morning, but for the next few nights I'm on my own. Everything I try to do except thinking about her and talking to people, just reminds me what she would be doing; how she'd climb in my lap or something for attention and I don't want to do any of it without the whole package of her interaction as well. I look around and think "oh, I could..." and my heart sinks, my breath breaks, and the tears start. Your comment about being followed is like my cat; she'd stroll up when people came home to get her back scratched or if she'd stay in bed I'd put my bags down and lean over for a nose kiss. It transitioned me to relax and settle in at home, now I don't know what to do.

I got to be with her 9 years, but all I can think is how I told her when I first took her into the vet "remember to come back to me, we're only half way." I really thought I had several years left with her, that I would finish school, and we could move to a place with my boyfriend and with them bonding it'd be even more like she was our pet. I am happy and grateful that he did love her too and she got to feel the love of another person in her life, he helped me with her treatment and tried to be anything I needed when the time came. Thinking about sleeping tonight does make me panic, but I'm already working up to happier thoughts of her and focusing on my love, not my loss, but there's still remnants of loss in my routine and my motivations. She was my baby, and taking care of her was something I always thought about. Now it's just me, and I don't know what to do with that. I just wish I had someone to hug.

kk, I really hope you've reached an easier point, that it's fondness you remember without too much of the grief, because it gives us all hope to get there too. Reading your story just really feels like we faced similar things that are just heart wrenching. Last night I just needed to remember her before she got sick. Now I'm trying to remember her more times she was happy than times I was busy or away. So much you want to do better, even when you gave your best. Please take care of yourself and I hope you're kitty was happy to have it's life with you.

[Shadow Dancer]

When Ruby died in 2012 I did the "this time last night", "this time last week", "2 weeks ago", "it's been a month already", "6 months", and "1 year". She's on my mind still, but it does lessen.

I've been remembering with Diamond in the same way. It's hard to believe but it's been almost 2 weeks already. Time just continues to move regardless.

I did this too Firehawk, I think it is a normal thing to do when we have lost someone special, albeit pet or human. I was widowed when I was 37 years old, I remember counting the days, because I couldn't bring myself to count the weeks. I remember standing looking out the window and wishing I could stop time, seeing everyone going about their lives and mine was in pieces at my feet., and time just kept marching on.

On March 13th, it will be two months since we lost our beloved Thunder suddenly without warning. He would have turned 4 years old on March 20th this year. I think of him every day and my heart breaks all over again. I miss him so much, I miss the relationship he and I shared and I feel cheated...cheated out of all the years I expected to spend with him, all the adventures he and I never got to go on together. We were completely gutted the night he died, and I still feel that way...and time just keeps marching on.

I am so sorry for your loss of your precious Ruby and Diamond.

S.D.

[kk0711]

Hi, kk, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling and experiencing is very normal when you share with us: "I still don't eat well and need to take better care of myself but I am exhausted just getting through the work day." Grieving takes a lot of energy, and the stress of grieving leaves us with many symptoms including lack of appetite and feeling exhausted. So it is vitally important that you try to get extra rest whenever possible, and you may find it easier to eat smaller meals throughout the day instead of bigger meals three times a day - - even if it's just a cup of soup or broth.

I truly wish there was an easier way to navigate this grief adjustment journey but unfortunately the only way is one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time - - with the comforting reassurance that you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through, and who are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Ari's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hello moon_beam,

I thought I would check in as it's been a few days since I visited here. It's almost 2 months since Ari left us. Seems hard to believe and I have to say one the hardest times in my life. I have good days but am always surprised when the grief waves hit me so hard again. My husband and I have decided to get two new kittens. We will be getting them in about 3 weeks. I am very excited but feel sad and scared at the same time. No knowing what really caused Ari to get sick still makes me feel crazy and I will be so worried about the new babies all the time. On the flip side of that, I need cats in my life. I feel a hole in my heart and life when they aren't here with me and although a bit sooner than we were considering, the joy and fun of having two beautiful kittens sounds wonderful and makes me smile. I shall tell them stories about their mighty Bengal brother who was beautiful, smart, tough, and funny and who we loved will all of our hearts!

[Snapdragon]

kk -

You're Ari was just the most, most beautiful cat!! You can just see some of what I imagine to be his personality looking at the photo. I am so, so sorry for you loss. We recently lost our cat of 16 yrs, just last week, and I can relate to much of what you write. I've always considered myself a "strong" person (I'm someone you'd want around in an emergency, seriously, I keep such a level head and know just what to do), but losing Molly, my orange tabby, has been beyond devastating, pain beyond any description I can give it. And this surprises me. So reading what you have gone through (and this is still fresh for you), at least helps me know I'm not alone, and that other people are having the same experience as I, although I wish this on NO one, but it does help knowing I'm not alone feeling this way. I feel like my life will never be the same. And I understand that, with time, things will "get better," nevertheless, the immediate pain just feels unbearable. Why is it that they leave such a HUGE hole in our lives when they go??!!

So, I'm happy for you that you'll be getting new "babies" soon....I envy you that; we agreed, because of travel, not to get another pet for a very long time....but I think it is a good thing--for you to adopt again. There are so many animals that need good homes!

Well, nothing else to say, I guess. Just thank you for being here and posting. hugs.....

[kk0711]

kk -

You're Ari was just the most, most beautiful cat!! You can just see some of what I imagine to be his personality looking at the photo. I am so, so sorry for you loss. We recently lost our cat of 16 yrs, just last week, and I can relate to much of what you write. I've always considered myself a "strong" person (I'm someone you'd want around in an emergency, seriously, I keep such a level head and know just what to do), but losing Molly, my orange tabby, has been beyond devastating, pain beyond any description I can give it. And this surprises me. So reading what you have gone through (and this is still fresh for you), at least helps me know I'm not alone, and that other people are having the same experience as I, although I wish this on NO one, but it does help knowing I'm not alone feeling this way. I feel like my life will never be the same. And I understand that, with time, things will "get better," nevertheless, the immediate pain just feels unbearable. Why is it that they leave such a HUGE hole in our lives when they go??!!

So, I'm happy for you that you'll be getting new "babies" soon....I envy you that; we agreed, because of travel, not to get another pet for a very long time....but I think it is a good thing--for you to adopt again. There are so many animals that need good homes!

Well, nothing else to say, I guess. Just thank you for being here and posting. hugs.....

Thank you Snapdragon, I appreciate your words. Ari was just so beautiful and had the most amazing personality. I have left more words for you on your thread about your beautiful Molly and how I am getting through this time now. It has eased but still hurts a lot. I too wanted to die at first, and didn't care about anything for awhile. I was also really angry because I felt cheated. I know just how you feel and I am so sorry that you have this pain. Journal, memorialize, and take care of yourself, Snapdragon. Hugs back to you...