2 Weeks Ago Since I Lost My Beautiful Bengal Ari Options

[kk0711]

Hello LS members,

It has been two weeks ago since I lost my beautiful Bengal cat Ari. He was young, would have been 7 in May. He was fine one day, stopped eating and drinking the next and we took him to the vet the day after that. After lots of tests and then 2 nights in an oxygen cage, lots of antibiotics he went into acute respiratory failure and had to be put down at the very end although by that time the vet said he was already so close.it was only 5 days after he first showed signs of being sick.Ari was our baby, my husband and I got him as a kitten soon after we moved in together. He was equally bonded to both of us and the absolute love of our lives. He talked to us in long conversations, greeted us at the door, asked for belly rubs and had to be in the same place wherever we were, following us around the house.

It was so sudden and unexpected and still not fully explained. I am in such grief and pain. My husband is devastated as well but I was the one with him at the end and keep relieving those moments. It still seems so surreal to me. I stayed in bed for 3 days after he died and couldn't eat. I am now functioning but feel like I am walking in a nightmare every day.

I just miss him so much, he was the one constant in my life and although I knew he would pass one day, I thought we had many more years with him. I am angry, disappointed and grief-stricken.

[Firehawk]

Hi,

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I can relate to those 'replaying thoughts' when you go through a shock of losing your pet. I lost both my black labs in the recent times (dec 20, 2012 Ruby, and Jan 27, 2014 Diamond), and both went very suddenly and very shockingly, ESPECIALLY Ruby. I woke up on Dec 20 around 7am to find her laying in the walk in closet which was odd for her to be in there, and she was facing toward the inner wall. I called to her and all she could do is wag her tail barely, but couldn't lift her head up. I didn't know what was going on, so I tried to help her up and she stumbled down the hallway then fell over. I freaked out, and it was a mad dash to the nearest ER vet (which was 15 min away of course). I knew she had died in the car about half way there, because I smelled a very strange poop smell, and I figured since she pooped her body just let go and gave up. I was hysterical but kept talking to her and as soon as i pulled into the VET i jumped out, grabbed her, took her in, but she was lifeless by then. No heartbeat. I couldn't even stand up and breathe because i was crying so hard. It was just a STUN. I had just had her at the vet for a checkup 4 weeks before that and she was fine.

Then I lost Diamond suddenly Monday morning around 1am. Both my wife and I woke up because of her breathing. She was breathing shallow and fast. When we peaked around the bed to see her, she was laying on her side, eyes open, breathing that way. I panicked because every bad memory came back to me from Ruby. My wife is more 'trained' to handle emergency situations being a special ed teacher, and she tried to keep me calm, but I was in fast mode, just telling her LETS GO LETS GO. I sat in the back seat with her all the way to the Vet and told her how much I loved her and to just HANG ON. She was very weak though and her breathing was starting to slow but it was still shallow. We got to the vet, rushed her onto the table, and she was still alive when I walked out, but 2 minutes later they came out and said her heart stopped and asked if i wanted CPR to be done. I SAID YES!!!! My God what kind of stupid question is that? They go back in and come back out again a couple minutes later and said that they believe she had a mass rupture on her spleen and had a lot of fluid in her belly area internally, and even if they got a heartbeat back, there's no hope for her. So I told them to just let her go.

Oh my God it was insane. But I still replay both in my head quite often, and if I go into a daze thinking about it, it still makes me cry about Ruby, and that was over 13 months ago. Just a horrendous way to end both their lives, but there were some good things about it. I didn't ahve to make the decision to put them down and slowly watch them deteriorate. I got to spend the last few minutes of their lives with them and tell them that I loved them.

SO I understand where you're coming from. With Ruby I think it took a lot longer for me to recover because it was the first time I had been through this, and between both my dogs, she was more my 'buddy' I guess, than the other, even though I loved them both equally. Ruby was the nosy one that was a bit more playful. Diamond was the more relaxed, 'pet me' type, but so precious. They had different personalities and I miss them both equally, though. When Ruby died, all of my love went to Diamond and it was hard in a different way when I lost her. I went from at least 1 dog to no dogs, and my routines were vastly changed, and it's still affecting me today. Every night when I walk by their urns, it makes me a bit sad. When I get up in the morning and don't hear Diamond's collar jingle to get up with me, or have to let her out, or see her watching me make breakfast every morning, it is very hard.

I'm sorry that you had to go through this. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone.