My Maddy Girl

My Beautiful Sweet Girl, My Maddy Girl,

I am so sorry you suffered so much. I know you were trying to be strong for me. You never cried, you never winced but I knew...I knew you were in pain. You are the bravest girl, momma, and I love you. I am sorry I never took you to Tucson, to find out if you really had cancer. I just wanted to believe that you didnt, baby. I could not stand the thought of you leaving me and now I just want to die without you. I am sorry, bab. I am so so sorry. Please forgive me for being so weak. We had so much to do still-I wanted to take you to the beach and to the mountains. I sleep with your blanket every night, Maddy. I can still smell you, momma. Please come back baby. Please, Maddy, please come back. I dont know how to stop crying, Maddy. I look at your pictures, I remember your smell. I think of all the silly things you did, like getting underneath my hair when I was blow drying upside down. You are my world, baby. ANd I dont want to let you go. Tell me you are ok, Maddy, somehow, tell me. Please. This pain, Icant take it. I never thought I would lose you so quick. You are my heart and soul and I miss you. Its been 2 days and I cant function. I work and cry inbetween offices. I need you back, Maddy. I love you