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> Knowing It's Inevitiable, Anticipatory Grief
1991Baby
post Nov 26 2007, 05:38 PM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 28
Joined: 26-November 07
Member No.: 4,000



My precious little girl is still with me. I've had her since she was 6 weeks old in 1991. She is a nearly all-white Co*cker Spaniel. Her name is Kahlua. She has been my furry friend, my playful pooch, my lovable and loving licker, my happy most bestest most amazing most constant companion in my life since college.

Kahlua will be seventeen in the next few months. I know I am very lucky to still have her. I've read many posts here from others who lost their most precious pets well before seventeen.

I don't know how much longer Kahlua has. I don't know for sure if she'll actually see seventeen. Then again, she may make it to eighteen or longer. The veterinarian says she is in "remarkably good health" for a lady her age. Kahlua can't hear worth a darn, hasn't been able to jump on the couch with me since she was fifteen, doesn't long to sit by my side touching some part of me like she used to, has a hard time getting up from a good sleep, can't control her soiling like she used to, is much more particular about her food and doesn't come to me when I wave her over anymore.

But, she still has great vision, has her curiosity about the world around her, plays with her toys, has a healthy appet*ite, walks over to me for plenty of pats, strokes and kisses and loves it when guests come over to play with her. When she does get her little muscles and bones going it is hard to get her stopped. And she's been medication-free until I recently decided to experiment with Selegeline, an anti-dementia drug the vet says has the possibility to help with her midnight pacing and staring at corners and walls she recently started.

I am posting not because I heard any bad news from the vet, yet, and I'm no where near considering putting her down yet. But, I've seen enough aging in the past couple of years to be keenly aware that day is out there, closer than I want it to be, but before the stark reality of it is shoved in my face. I want to continue to enjoy Kahlua without dwelling on the decision I will one day have to make. But it will be my first decision like that in my life, and I know I am currently ill-equipped to deal with the grief that will accompany it.


This thread is t*itled pet loss and impending pet loss. I don't know if Kahlua has three days left, or three years, so I'm not sure if this qualifies under the t*itle. But I know I need to begin to confront the journey with her that we have left together and I want to do it the best I can, without regrets or guilt creeping in. If I don't glean as much as I can from support groups like this ahead of time I know I'll be an absolute basket-case and will sink into a deep emotional abyss when the time comes for her to cross that bridge. When the vet is calling her a miracle dog I know it is too soon. Then again, I don't want to make her wait any longer than she needs and make her suffer when she wants to let go but is holding on for me.

Kahlua has lived longer than most of her kind born in 1991. How long can "miracle dogs" in "remarkable health" live as Co*cker Spaniels? What is the oldest the breed can go without indicting the owner for torture? I had a friend with a small mutt that he kept until she was 21 or 22. My friend's companion had been on medication since she was 12, was blind and deaf by 16 and only slept and pooped by 18, when she was incapable of reciprocating any affection in her last 3-4 years.

And, looking back on the loss of your treasured baby, what do you wish you had done differently with him/her when they were at a similar juncture as Kahlua is today? I look forward to your replies.
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LoveThem
post Nov 26 2007, 06:47 PM
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Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 2,171
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Member No.: 3,876



If my babies were at your juncture today I can't think of anything you aren't doing. My first time was a 3 year old female golden half-Shepherd half-Boxer...a sweet baby. She started having convulsions and the diagnosis years ago was epilepsy. When they came 2 to 3 times a week instead of once a month, the vet said at that time..no cure..and even though she went unconscious during a convulsion, she might choke during 1 of these. I didn't want that to happen to her. What helped me was I had just brought home a puppy who wanted attention. She was someone I could focus on. She was with me 12 years before being my 2nd decision...we had fought cancer for 7 years and won but in the end it came back and won. The overall thing I was told by vets was does the animal have her dignity, her quality of life. You can be old and still have a quality of life. It is something at the time of thinking of the decision that you talk to your vet. If you see evidence of major problems (x-rays, etc.) that tells you something. There is no preparation really for the time. When it comes, you won't want to believe it. Do what is best for her and what you are comfortable with. You can't avoid the pain and grief because of your love for her and hers for you. My Little Guy (the picture by my name) I just lost at 16 1/2 on 9/10. It was an emergency decision cause he couldn't breathe with a chest full of fluid that 10 days earlier was clear. To medically keep him longer...the treatment would be very painful and he would have suffered. I couldn't let that happen. He was born May 28, 1991 to a feral cat in my backyard. Think about getting your baby a baby of her own. That way you will avoid the greater pain of being completely alone. No hasty decisions now.
Take Care.............


--------------------
LITTLE GUY - May 28, 1991 - Sept 10, 2007 - Always in my Heart.
His story: Section D&D: How do I stop crying? and also... My Boy is Gone Forever.

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toonie
post Nov 27 2007, 09:57 AM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 628
Joined: 25-February 07
Member No.: 2,632



QUOTE
What is the oldest the breed can go without indicting the owner for torture? I had a friend with a small mutt that he kept until she was 21 or 22. My friend's companion had been on medication since she was 12, was blind and deaf by 16 and only slept and pooped by 18, when she was incapable of reciprocating any affection in her last 3-4 years.


I don't feel as though I am your best adviser, actually I usually stay away from posts that ask for advice as to what is best to do:give mercy or to go on. I really messed up my own soulmate cat's end. However, when I read what is quoted above I felt compelled to share my errors because in the past I would have said how ridiculous it is to keep an animal with so little quality of life like that but I am not so sure anymore, what your friend did is rather so true to his pet and what I did is to betray mine. I foresaw all this misery for my cat and he was so badly grieving for his brother that I thought I was doing him a favor in euthanizing him before his life became more miserable, he was sick and lonely for his mate ,condemned to injections twice a day, medication, restricted mobility, restricted diet, no more treats etc...etc.. he also hated vet visits so much and would have to go often, get his teeth cleaned &probably some removed etc.. He had been so happy(or so I thought) and had an most entirely good life up until those last 21 days so I figured he was better off to have known mostly happiness and good times. (The terms 'quit while you're ahead' and 'his time has come' seemed to echo in my mind. I thought I could fool him when I figured what the heck he'll just think it's another vet visit, he had been at the vets each day of the last week of before and seemed to be getting used to it so I'll get him euthanized he will never know and he will be in peace, no more missing Felix, no more forced oral meds, no more vet visits, no more of all that was going wrong in his precious life. But we were so close, we knew each other so well, I had a hard time reassuring him on the final trip because it wasn't sincere and he KNEW! sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif Perhaps I would be guilt tripping really bad today if I had put him through these treatment/ tortures and he would have deteriorated anyways and I would have regretted not choosing euthanasia when his misery was only three weeks out of his life. But how I did it, was completely wrong, that cat knew totally what was happening, he was looking at me and my husband, traitors to him, the closest people in his life other than his dear departed Felix and he reacted just like a human would, he quit looking at us and almost said :"OKay if this is how it is, then do it mad.gif " he realized the ones closest to him had decided to finish him off. sad.gif It left me almost crazy with guilt, with going over and over the last moments in my mind day and night with hating myself so so much for what I had done to him and worse when I started reading other posts where these smarter people had taken all the right steps, a pill to put them asleep at home then brought to the vets, or else a vet visit right at home....well whichever solution you will take, you know to avoid doing it my way.
I also wish I had spoken with him at home about my upcoming decision, I think I was crazy when I did all this and still wonder why no one around ever tried to stop me from comitting his 'suicide' I still wonder why they all so supported me in this, it's crazy, I don't blame anyone but I really feel like I shouldn't have looked towards others for clues blink.gif So I suppose I didn't help at all except for unloading on you, but please rely mainly on yourself and your own feelings about this, if your vet thinks she is doing well, then I would just count my blessings and go on for now.
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Furkidlets' Mom
post Nov 27 2007, 02:02 PM
Post #4





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 1,208
Joined: 21-June 05
From: Canada
Member No.: 961



I'm sorry I don't know a thing, really, about particular dog breeds' average lifespans, but even if I did, I'd be saying the same thing - everyone's an individual and on their own, individual soul path, so generalizing doesn't really help, except perhaps in hindsight if they happen to live to around the average length, so you don't feel like they died too young.

I do think it wise of you, though, to start preparing now as best anyone ever can, and reading whatever will help you later on, and even as you deal with Kahlua's elderly phase and issues. In fact, I'd just been discussing anticipatory grief with a friend recently, and how hard it is to even find anyone to relate with about this equally-difficult form of grief. Once you start to become aware of what you will, at some point, face, you are already grieving on an anticipatory level, which, while different, can be every bit as painful in its own way as the kind of grief that follows a loved one's death. It needs wider recognition. And certainly once you start seeing the signs of aging, you can't remain in ignorance (or innocence) any longer. So it's good that you've come here seeking knowledge.

There are articles here on aspects of senior care, end-of-life care (hospice-type, in-home care), quality of life issues, natural care/aids (my particular bent), guilt, animal communicators (to check in with one's animals as to how they're doing, what they'd like, what's helping and what isn't, etc, etc.) and many other things. I'd encourage you to sift through everything you can find, to help empower yourself with the knowledge of the many aspects that will affect any decisions you'll have to make. Check the other forums for these related topics. (hope you like reading! wink.gif )

The best general advice I could give is simply to know your girl as deeply as you can, and when in doubt, ask opinions of those you most trust, but realize at the same time that you most likely have the answers and insight inside yourself already and it may not match what others are saying (as Toonie's story reflects), so try to trust yourself above all others. I'm also a huge proponent of using animal communicators as a great way to clarify and verify issues and concerns....but you do have to find one you trust and that's not something you can do in the 11th hour, so now's the time to find one and establish that working relationship with them, if you're so inclined.

What do I wish I'd done differently when my girl was older and began struggling with more health issues? I wish, for one, I'd researched and read even MORE than I always had about her particular issues, despite already knowing plenty. I wish, maybe, that I'd faced the fears of reading 'too much' (and possibly dwelling on things that weren't there....yet?), as this alone may have resulted in me being able to avert her sudden rise in blood pressure related to her kidney condition, and may have saved her losing sight in one eye and having to give her drugs she hated for the last few months of her life. (but I also realize it may have also meant the use of those same drugs for even LONGER a period of her life, so I'm split on this one)

I wish I'd checked even MORE often with her communicator, as things progressed.

I wish I'd spent less time on grief boards (for my human losses and then my anticipatory grief over her), even though it helped me in some ways, and spent even more time just being with her, even if she was just sleeping. rolleyes.gif

I wish I'd talked to her even more about her entire life with us, and related more stories from the past to her, and told her in even MORE exacting detail about the many, wondrous things she'd done for me and my growth throughout her life.

I wish I'd drained our bank account even DRIER than it already was to pay for more of the energy healing modalities that she so obviously had enjoyed and reaped the benefits of. I wish I'd somehow made the time to learn them MYSELF, as I'd really wanted to, in order to help her that much more.

I wish I'd learned more about the uses of the internet earlier so I could have gotten around it that much FASTER, in order to discover more of what would have been useful to know.

And most particularly, I wish I'd forced myself somehow to be much more assertive with the vet who came to our home for euthanization and TOLD him to make sure his damn cellphone was OFF for CERTAIN after it rang the first time, ruining the peaceful mood I'd take such great pains to create for her final day. (it rang TWICE!) mad.gif I equally wish I'd TOLD him to please leave the room to give us a few more minutes after the sedative (and related incident that threw me for a loop), as well as the attendant change in plans as to how he felt the injection should be done....seeing as he didn't offer to leave, as so many other vets do.

And most of all, of all, I wish I hadn't been so intent upon gazing into my little girl's eyes in her last moment, knowing if I got closer to her face my vision would blur and I wouldn't be able to even see her clearly (older age vision), so that I could have make her very last moment here the one where I kissed her right on her fuzzy lips for the last, millionth time........and now I have to go, because I can't see the screen for the tears.....


--------------------
"I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you."

[center]~Anonymous~


<div align="center">"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"[/center]

~Fleur Conkling Heylinger~


>^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^< >^..^<


"For one species to mourn the death of another is a noble thing"

~Aldo Leopold~

<span style='font-size:9pt;line-height:100%'>Life is life - whether in a cat, or dog or man. There is no difference there between a cat or a man. The idea of difference is a human conception for man's own advantage. ~Sri Aurobindo

Spay now or pay later, the interest is killing us.


</span></div>
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LuvLabs
post Nov 27 2007, 04:22 PM
Post #5





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 134
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From: South Carolina
Member No.: 3,847



Kahlua sounds like such a loveable and sweet dog. You are very fortunate to have her in your life. Having a dog live well beyond their life expectancy is a true gift I believe.

Three yrs. ago I had to send my lab/whippet mix Abby to Heaven at age 17. When she was 11 she had a malignant tumor removed from her cheek. She beat the cancer and it never returned. She was a very energetic dog and the only thing that slowed her down was arthritis. Her legs lost strength and began giving out on her. But she still loved her little walks and play time. When she was 11 I adopted a lab named Lizzy. Abby 30 lbs. loved to boss Lizzy 70 lbs. around and I think Liz kept Abby feeling young. Lizzy was very respectful of Abby and was very careful when they played...(since she was alot larger).

I think when our animal's behavior begins to change it is preparing us for their journey. Abby preferred to sleep downstairs vs. in my bed. She slept longer and deeper then before. She lost her hearing. I bought her a real comfortable doggie bed to ease her arthritis. Followed her outside so when her legs gave out I could help her up. But I knew she would let me know when she was ready to make her journey to Heaven.

I cannot say that there was anything I did to prepare for losing Abby. There was nothing I would have done differently. One day on her little walk her legs gave out and she looked up at me so sad. I just knew it was time to say goodbye. Abby had a wonderful life and it was a blessing that she lived to be 17. Losing Abby was painful but I knew she had lived a long life.

You are fortunate that Kahlua is doing so well. Just continue loving her every day and treasure your time with her.
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Saki & Freyj...
post Nov 27 2007, 07:05 PM
Post #6





Group: Pet Lovers
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Somewhat over three years ago, we had to euthanize our sweet lovable dog, Freyja. She was 14 and so arthritic and had cushing's disease. I actually went through anticipatory grief for about a year before we did it. It was my first time to euthanize..... it makes me cry to this day to think of it. I cry now as I write this post.

I hoped with all my heart that I would know when the time was right. And I did. Something happened to Freyja one night -- she couldn't move from the neck down the next day. She actually seemed more alert than she had in awhile. But she was basically paralyzed from the neck down. So we called the vet and carried her in and....

Nothing had nor could have prepared me for that experience. It was by far the worst thing I have ever done/ experienced. The guilt pain and sorrow are things that to this day, I cannot really articulate. Thorugh this board, I worked through a lot of it. I do not think there is any way I could have done things any differently. I had tried to prepare myself emotionally, and I did really the only thing, the only humane thing, that I could do.

So I think it is good that you are trying to prepare yourself. On the other hand, I don't think there really is much you can do to prepare. Or-- as much as you do prepare, it still is going to hurt more than anything has ever hurt before...

Sadly, since Frey, I've been out on this board more than I wish I were. Ive lost 4 cats since my sweet dog. Oddly, I think havine experienced grief before makes it easier.

I do wish you and your darling ##er happy healthy lives.

--Jennifer
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1991Baby
post Nov 27 2007, 07:37 PM
Post #7





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 28
Joined: 26-November 07
Member No.: 4,000



Thank you for all the responses so far. I know I'm on a good site and glad I went ahead and registered. I surfed this and other sites for awhile as a reader but never went the next step.

One of the issues that complicates things for me with Kahlua is my resources. I'm not wealthy, and I know that if the vet tells me something major needs to be done I'll have to let her go, I won't have the option of trying to heal her. In a sense, I suppose it actually uncomplicates things.

I've heard horror stories from friends who get expensive procedures done on older pets only to lose them anyway days, weeks or only a couple months later. As much as I love Kahlua with all my heart, I simply can't justify thousand dollar + expenditures to keep her going with no assurance it gets her that much more time. And if they find and fix one thing there is usually something else lurking in there at this age that steals them away.

I've explained this to my vet and she said it was good for her to know now so that if/when something arises she'll look more at pain relief and quality of life treatments rather than radical life-saving attempts. While I do wish I were a person of more means, not having many options is probably the smarter course anyway. I just hope it doesn't come down to that - living with the knowledge that I could have kept her going if only I chose a different career. That would be hard no matter how I'm able to rationalize or justify my decision.

I have read about the vets who make house calls for the...I can't bring myself to think or write it, but you know. It's probably the best way to go. When that comes I'll be an emotional wreck unable to think straight, so I want to kick this around a bit:

I would have no clue what to do with her physical presence. I can't see just handing her off to the vet for "disposal", whatever that entails (I really don't want to know). A pet cemetery seems a bit odd at this point, and expensive, but remains a possibility. Cremation I think would be really odd for friends and acquaintances to get, but remains a possibility. I don't have a back yard so that's not an option. We do have a few special places up in the mountains that might be nice, but I don't know about the legality of it (and during winter months impossible to do).

Again, your thoughts are appreciated, thanks to all who have taken time and shared their hearts.
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forduffy
post Nov 27 2007, 09:28 PM
Post #8





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 326
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From: New Jersey
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I have to tell you- you are so brave for preparing yourself. I was spineless. I knew the time was coming and I was familiar with the Rainbow Bridge but I just wanted to put it out of my mind. I felt like I was betraying Duffy while he was still alive. I look back now and I realize that that would not have been betrayal and that I should have faced the facts. I also learned that nothing-absolutely nothing can prepare you for the shock and the grief. I think that LoveThem mentioned that in her post.

I lost Duffy, my 16 year Border Collie this September. He was aging very well for most of his senior years. He was so handsome and energetic and the only problems he had were periodic accidents, a little arthritis in his hind legs, and cataracts. Around his 15th birthday, the vet had diagnosed him with diverticulitis which I remember was a condition that my grandmother had in which the digestive system can not digest fatty foods. We switched his food to a low fat food that we had to buy from the vet directly. He began to lose weight. At first he went from 60 to 50 pounds. We figured that it was the food. But he continued to lose weight and eventually the vet said that with his age, his systems were starting to deteriorate. Starting about a year ago at this time is when the sharp decline began. It was less than a year and within these last 9 and 1/2 months, Duffy went down to 31 pounds, lost control of his rear legs, and became incontinent. Of course, I just stayed in denial. He had a tumor under his hind leg that the vet had been watching and during the night of Sept 10, it ruptured. The next morning, the vet said that Duffy had lost any quality of life and we put him to sleep. He was so lucid that day and I felt like such a traitor when I spoke with the vet about what to do with his remains while Duffy watched us on the table. Duffy just watched us talking. At one point I felt like I was crying hysterically and I felt like I was failing my best friend. I wanted to take him at that time and bring him home and commit to carrying him around for the rest of his life.

I would tell you to probably expect to feel guilt and second guess yourself as to whether it was the right time. This seems like human nature-I know I felt it.

After it was over, I felt like I lost my breath and I couldn't breathe. The grief was unbearable. I don't think that there is anything that you could do to prepare for the grief except to cognitively understand it and understand what you are going through as you go through it. I regret being in such denial for so long.

I was glad that we had him cremated. For me, it was cathartic to have him back home in an urn.

I wish I would have known about the vets who give house calls. I like that idea better than the cold table.

But I really think that just like with Duffy, the decline will be quick and you will be aware. You two have that kind of connection. Be perceptive to Kahlua's signs because she will give them to you, although they may be subtle. You know her personality and you know what she wants ultimately. Also know that at Kahlua's age, you probably will not have to worry about expensive procedures- the majority of them are for younger animals who can handle anesthesia. And you're right- there's usually something else that can pose a problem-so keep her comfort your first priority.

And as trite as this may sound, savor every moment because you will replay those moments in your head when they are all that you have left.

It is so hard to watch our babies age. It breaks our hearts because we know that that one day will come. Sorry to ramble. I sometimes get carried away.


--------------------
Duffy, I was so blessed to have you in my life, as my family, as my friend, as my baby, as my soul mate. I miss you, my PuppyBoy. Run, now, and enjoy the Bridge. I will be joining you soon.
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kittymomma
post Nov 28 2007, 11:57 AM
Post #9





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 66
Joined: 21-October 07
Member No.: 3,788



Hi 1991 Baby,
All of us here know the pain of losing a pet friend and this is the most wondrous website. You have come to the best place to talk about your concerns and ask questions. I would tell you one of the best things you can do is to go over to Amazon and search pet loss books. There are a good many on Euthanasia itself and what to expect. There are also a great many wonderful books on pet loss and grief. If you have never experienced this before, this is a good way to acquaint yourself with the information. I will pray that your Kahlua has more years ahead of her. As long as her quality of life is good, then she shold be fine. It is when the they have no quality of life that the decision needs to be made. These books will help you with all aspects of making that desision. I send you hugs!
wub.gif
Susan


--------------------
Orion, We love and miss you, booby! You are our Angelcat now!
10/20/07
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Bue's Mommy
post Nov 29 2007, 02:34 AM
Post #10





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 479
Joined: 7-August 07
Member No.: 3,362



I can't give you advice on what to do about your baby, but someone did mention Amazon books, it might be a good place to start or maybe your vet knows others in the same postion.

When you do get to that junction we will be here to help you through the process.
You came to a loving, and caring forum.

Talk to you soon
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--------------------
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LoveThem
post Nov 29 2007, 01:13 PM
Post #11





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 2,171
Joined: 2-November 07
Member No.: 3,876



I saw a few people recommended Amazon books. Just thought you would like to know I just found out if you use the link from this Forum...Amazon will donate part of what you pay to this website to help it keep going. I will do that when next I order but if you have any questions about how to do that....just go to the LS Tech Support and ask.


--------------------
LITTLE GUY - May 28, 1991 - Sept 10, 2007 - Always in my Heart.
His story: Section D&D: How do I stop crying? and also... My Boy is Gone Forever.

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1991Baby
post Dec 1 2007, 03:34 AM
Post #12





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 28
Joined: 26-November 07
Member No.: 4,000



Again, thanks for all your posts. I've read your replies and many of the other threads. I can't... I don't want to imagine the reality that is out there. Kahlua is really acting..weird. She's pacing tons without purpose, looking at me strangely these days. I think that's why I went ahead and started looking for help and posting here. I can't cite anything that says she's in more peril than when I took her to the vet last, but she just has some signs that aren't good. Watching her go #2 while her rear collapses into it sometimes is painful to see. I am so at a loss in how to prepare myself. The books might help, though I've never been a good self-help book reading person. I have seen something on TV about a book called "Rescuing Sprite: A Dog Lover's Story of Joy and Anguish" by Mark Levin. The interviews with the author were touching. I so much just want to enjoy my pooch while I have what I have left with her, but it pains me so much to know what lies ahead and I don't know if I have the strength to deal with it.
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annie's mommy
post Dec 1 2007, 09:07 AM
Post #13





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 53
Joined: 30-November 07
Member No.: 4,037



Give Kaluah your LOVE and it will be what is right.

Your friend in grief,
Annie's mommy
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LoveThem
post Dec 1 2007, 11:58 AM
Post #14





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 2,171
Joined: 2-November 07
Member No.: 3,876



What does your vet say about her? What does he think is wrong with her, if anything other than maybe arthritis and/or old age? Don't be in a hurry about this.
I hope the different stories here don't influence you to feel you have to make a decision faster than if you hadn't read posts here. Remember..at least 99% of these posts deal with pets in pain and suffering that pain and the decision is made to stop that. What happens to others here is something happens to take matters out of their control..many times it is cancer which can't be cured and sometimes even if time can be bought....one has to think about what the animal will be going through and love will never let that precious one suffer when there is no hope.

I have had to make the decision 3x for animals who were not in pain but whose quality of life made me know it couldn't go on. Those were very hard but I did a lot of talking with my vets and while they can't ever tell you to do it, they do have to be honest about what lies ahead, what to watch for, whether they feel the animal is in a lot of discomfort, etc. Whatever you see your baby doing...ask your vet what he thinks is happening. Maybe her back legs have arthritis and are getting weak so she has a hard time pushing to go #2. You may have to help her feel better by cleaning her off. Dementia is difficult. I'm hearing about it more and more. There are pills for dogs that help this. I made that decision about the female cat I had. Her tests were all okay but she was not normal and things became a health hazard. It wasn't a rash decision and we tried to accommodate her in what she was doing for months but we couldn't go on living like that.

So far, you haven't said things that make a decision imminent. All you can do is watch her..you know her better than anyone....AND talk to your vet about any concerns you have. The more you know, the better prepared you may be in case a decision has to be made. But in the meantime, hug her a lot and let her know she means the world to you and that no matter what..somehow you will always be together as she is a part of your heart and life and will always be. You can post symptoms as others may recognize something and be able to give helpful suggestions also. You are still in control and don't have to decide today. But do ask questions of your vet and also post questions here and if anyone can answer, they will. Take care.......I hope this helps you.


--------------------
LITTLE GUY - May 28, 1991 - Sept 10, 2007 - Always in my Heart.
His story: Section D&D: How do I stop crying? and also... My Boy is Gone Forever.

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1991Baby
post Dec 18 2007, 10:00 PM
Post #15





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 28
Joined: 26-November 07
Member No.: 4,000



Hey all, this really is a great, caring board. Seeing the new posts from others and how quickly some of you give comfort is great. Kahlua is still hanging tough, the endless circles she wanders and falling down while pooping aside, lots of love and kisses still in her, and her personality and doggie smiles still keep coming out in abundance.

I'm actually posting now because a very good friend of mine just lost his little fella this afternoon. It was a 14 1/2 year old Yorkie. So sad. I just dog sat for him this weekend when he was out of town. I brought the little guy to my place and both the seniors made a weekend of it. I've dog sat like this before, but this weekend he was very clingy. Times past he slept on his own blanket on a big chair in my living room. This time he slept next to me on my couch when I was laying down, and on my bed next to my head when I was sleeping. This was new behavior for him and me, a friend, but not his owner.

On Saturday night I was woken up by him stumbling all over the water and food bowls. The poor little guy was having some kind of seizure and still standing in the water and food by the time I got there. Then he tried to walk around but just staggered along the wall unable to keep to his feet without falling the side if he left the wall. I freaked a bit, it was about 3-4am and knew my friend was still sleeping so I surfed the web to see if it was an emergency I needed to get him to the vet. All of the information I came across indicated it was not an emergency, just a progressive thing so I waited until the morning to call my friend and tell him about it. By then his pooch was doing better. He said they've happened before and was not alarmed, just saddened to know it was starting to occur more frequently than ever before.

Well, I got a call from my friend this evening, he was broken up pretty fierce. He's not an emotional guy, about as closed off as they come to sharing his troubles. He told me the little fella was gone, had passed sometime this afternoon by himself. My friend said he had left something at home this morning and actually went home around lunch and his little buddy was playful, he gave him a treat and left. When his wife got home this evening he was gone. My friend never goes home midday, he feels fortunate to have had those last moments with him he normally wouldn't have had.

I feel so sorry for my friend, and his special pal was a good little guy, I enjoyed him and can't believe it myself after just having him this weekend. Wow, it just happened out of the blue, but at 14 1/2 for a Yorkie you can't call it surprising. My Kahlua will be 17 in a couple months, Lord willing, and it just brings home how sudden it will all be and how unprepared anyone is no matter what the age or health status.

In the meantime I'm just going to be a good friend for my friend as he grieves and love and hug my little girl even harder while she blesses my life. Gosh, I love my little senior girl with all my heart. And my friends little fella has crossed, that poor little guy I feel so sad for his loss and my friend.
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