Advice On A New Friend

Hello, everyone.

Please forgive my barging in with this question. I have been lurking and now I find myself in a dilemma that I feel I may get some clarity out of by posting it here. (If that makes sense!?)

I am new here and have found great support and comfort (and shed many a tear) reading everyone's posts. Last week I lost my Mittens. She was 19 -- I adopted her when she was 10. She needed to be an only-cat household. I adored her. She went with me across the country and back; in planes and in cars. She suffered from CRF and almost 2 weeks ago she took a turn for the worse and I knew I had to help let her go. My vet was so wonderful. In fact, I didn't know how wonderful of a person/vet she was until that sad day. She helped me to stay in the room and be with Mitty (I was scared to see her go but knew I had to be there for Mittens.)

Fast forward and I am ready for a new friend/partner. I do know this. Not to replace M. but because my (former non-pet owner) fiance and I agree a cat-free household is much to lonesome!

My dilemma. At the 'no kill' shelter there are two girls. I love them both and I can only pick one. Micia is 11. She is a Maine Coon, crotchety, fabulous and has been at the shelter the longest. The (tougher) animal control officers tell me her time is running out. The (sweeter) volunteers with the non-profit say no, someone will adopt her. The animal control people tell me the Chief is the real boss and he knows Micia is really hard to place. She could get sent to the city shelter soon. I really like her. Though she can swat and hiss (I brushed her today and she was pretty nice.)

Melody is 6. She's sweet but very scared. Her owner died and her cat-roommate had more personality and was adopted. My heart melts a bit more for Melody because she's not as tough and sassy as Micia. She looks forlorn and it seems like she'd thrive with us. She probably has more time at the shelter than Micia because she isn't as attitude-ridden as Micia. But I fear no one will look past her shyness and see her cute personality.

They both would do well with us. We have an apartment and I'm only supposed to have one cat. Micia would do her own thing and I mean, sheesh, my fiance is crotchety, too. So there you go! Melody would hopefully thrive on affection and love from us.

My problem: I have this terrifying sense of condemning one or the other. The animal control lady looked teary-eyed when I suggested taking Melody. I think she thinks I am Micia's last chance. The animal control police-guy (so nice, has like 9 pets of his own from the shelter!) said I would be helping them no matter which one I choose.

I do know this: I want to take one of these two girls. I FEEL it, it's right for me. I will be ok once I decide, but the decision itself is really upsetting me. I try to think what Mittens would want, but come up empty. And doesn't that sound weird? But I think you know what I mean. My vet's office (works closely w/shelter, knows both cats) gently suggested Melody because they are aware that Mittens' treatment/decline/visits/meds/etc. really put a clinch on our wallets. (Not that we care!!! Not one bit!!! Just that maybe we should get a younger cat and build up our emergency fund again.)

Finally, thank you to anyone who has read through this emotional, long-winded post. I think I may have some relief just from writing it out. Goodness knows it's been bouncing around in my head so much. I do wonder if I'm channeling some of my grief into this situation but you know, I don't really think so. I tend to be emotional like this anyway.

Phew. Thanks again for letting me post this. Truly.

ETA: I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how to handle this decision. Thank you.