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19 Feb 2016
Attached ImageWhen I was 12 I was bullied at school, I left school and was deeply depressed and lonely. My mum brought me a beautiful cairn terrier puppy I called Phoebe.
She saw me through so many awful times. My grandad had cancer and had to have his voice box removed, my grandad was my idol and the dad I never had. She was there for me, even through a close friend dying and then when I was 17 my grandads cancer came back and I saw him die. Phoebe was there to cry into and cuddle, she had a look in her eye which said she understood. She would cuddle up to me every night and knew her side of the bed although she would try to cuddle up to me as close as she could. I would wake up in the night with awful nightmares and I would cuddle her and fall back asleep. I haven't been well myself the last couple of years, she would lay down with me in the afternoon and we would spend all our time together. I collapsed a couple months ago and when I came around I was asking for Phoebe, she was everything to me. On Monday she didn't seem herself. She went to the vets and had a blood test but all they could find was a minor infection so was given antibiotics. When she came home she had some water and chicken. That night I was up most the night, she seemed really flat but I thought the antibiotics had warn her out a bit. I cuddled her all night and tucked her in, keeping her warm. I must of fallen asleep for no more then a hour and when I woke at 5.45am she was looking at me cuddled up in my arms. I was stroking her face and didn't get a reaction, I pulled the covers back and rubbed her belly and I realised my worst nightmare had come true, she had passed away. Know I'm left heart broken, I can't eat, sleep or feel like I can cope without her. I need her, she is my rock and I don't feel I can get through this. What is life if it's just full of heart break? It seems who ever I'm close to dies and I can't cope with it.
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20 Feb 2016 - 13:35

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