When you open your home to a new cat, especially one that has abused before finding you, then you know it can take time to gain the full trust of your furbaby.

Simba #1, I had him since he was born so he was always a lap cat for me.

But when I brought Simba #2 home from the HS he seemed a bit nervous. He was good with people because he was fostered but I think he was abused by the people that gave him up to the shelter. (I am so thankful they did turn him into the shelter).

Simba would always sit by me but never really got that close. He always wanted to get near me but I could never get him to lay on my lap like I wanted him to... this went on for about a little over a year...

Then one day a couple weeks ago I was sitting at my computer and the next thing I know Simba jumps into my lap and lays down and starts purring. I never froze for so long, not wanting to ruin the moment. We sat together and I petted him for about 20 mintues before he jumpped back down. Now he "visits" me while I am working at my computer just about every day. He even does it while I am sitting at the couch and watching TV... he has become such the affectionate lap kitty

If you have a kitty that is hesitant to sit on your lap or come close to you it is possible to gain their trust and turn them into a lap cat like I did with Simba. Here are some pointers...

- First of all, just because your cat won't sit in your lap doesn't mean he/she doesn't like you.

- Never force your cat to sit on your lap. He/she will only fight and squirm to get back down and then be afraid to get to close to you again.

- If you don't live alone you should be the one that your cat sees putting down his/her food and water.

- Never yell or raise your voice at your cat so that it gets scared from the sound of your voice.

- Instead of punishing/scolding your cat for the bad things done try to only concentrate on rewarding for the good things. Cat treats work great

- Take some time every day to play with your cat with his/her favorite toy. I can't remember very many, if any at all, days of no play sessions with Simba. What is Simba's favorite toy? A long piece of string and I just run around the house dragging it behind me and he chases it. Keeps us both in shape

- Whenever your cat comes close to you to play or be pet say his/her name in a loud (but not loud enough to scare them) cheerful voice so your cat knows you are happy to play and pet him/her. Everytime Simba would come by me looking at me like he's saying "hey, here I am play with me!" I would say "Simba Wimba!!!" in a loud cheerful voice and he looks at me and seems to be smiling while purring.

- Most important, when the day finally comes where your cat jumps on your lap you will be very excited about it. But you should not hold him/her at all and be sure to let them down whenever they want no matter how short of time they are on your lap. Laptime will increase...

I think I got everything...
If anyone else has any input on turning your cat into a lap cat please feel free to add it here

Here is a picture I was able to get with my cellphone. I was lucky enough to have it near me so I could reach it when Simba sat on my lap today.

BOTH our cats will sit nowhere with us UNLESS we are specifically at our computers. It is then they will come to lie on our laps and purr...but nowhere else!!!

All I can add is about my 3 cats. As kittens I used to put the 2 boys in my lap for a short time...the little girl just crawled there all the time.
When they were older....the girl and Little Guy would get in my lap when I sat on the couch but Little Guy's twin brother, Keeper, did not but he watched the others do it then one day he decided he wanted to do it and then I had 3 lap cats.

I know kittens learn things from watching their mother and I could see my cats watching each other and learning that way over time.

I just wanted them to get used to being picked up...carried..put in a lap...whatever sticks. So if you have more than one and one becomes a lapcat..don't be surprised if your others decide it looks like a good idea and a great way to get petted.

Simba's Daddy,

GREAT idea for a thread! And the pic is super, too! Yeah, Simba! You're finally 'getting' what human thighs are really FOR!

All your ideas are good ones and I remember the string game very well, too!....although you have to watch to make sure you're not pulling the string hard if they've got it in their mouths, or wrapped around their toesies, lest you damage something....OR end up being pulled right off your own feet! (also, for those who've never thought about it, NEVER leave string or other such objects laying around unsupervised, as cats can swallow them and their feline swallow reflexes drag them deeper and deeper down the throat and can cause horrible internal damage that can be fatal....think string, dental floss in garbage cans, ribbons, etc.) But supervised, it's a HOOT of a game!

All I can think of to add right now is to increase the odds of them finding your lap a great place to be, is to make IT a part of your playtime, like dragging a toy repeatedly across your legs as you lay on the floor beside them. ('snakes' work well for this) That way, they get to as*sociate your legs with good times. (this is also another reason why it's a good idea to learn to clip their claws regularly!) And if you manage to poop them out enough, they may even end up flopped across your legs at that point. Of course, then you'll be totally stuck on the floor for AS LONG AS THEY DETERMINE THEY'RE GOING TO SLEEP, as stated in Cat Law 101 - "No cat's person shall even attempt to move from a position that is pleasing to the cat until the cat says you can....even if it kills you, their person, or your limbs fall off due to lack of circulation. Too bad, so sad for you."

Oh, and if your cat is really into food or catnip, placing bits of those on your lap can also help, even if they don't stay too long....unless the 'nip makes them aggressive! - careful of your 'parts' then! (I know this method because of our neighbour's cat, who is not normally cuddly whatsoever - got her to stay put (with use of a bribe of food) both on and beside my lap a few times, even up to half an hour once) Same method applies if they like heat - try using a warm pad on your lap.

And always keep in mind, age can change their preferences, too, as can circu*mstances, as in if they've lost a pal and need more of YOU than they might have before.

Me, I never had to encourage any of this, either, as both Nissa and Sabin were naturally drawn to their Mom's body....anywhere, anytime they wanted my warmth and cuddles. I used to think EVERY cat in the world did this as long as it was offered (back in the naive and stupid days), but now I know how very, very blessed and fortunate I was! Even so, after we lost Sabin, Nissa became even MORE of a cuddle-bunny, due to both our cleaving unto each other for comfort AND because she never had to compete anymore with her brother for lap space, since he used to hog Mom's thighs, relegating his sister to my shins, or sometimes even stretching out so far that he'd shove her entirely OFF my legs!....and then look up wondering where the heck his cuddly sister had gone to! Same as he did with his Daddy in bed! Even funnier!

what I really like is your leaving it up to them for the lap, I find cats will feel a lot safer if they are the ones who join you, sit on you, feel as if they can leave you any time they choose but prefer to stay because you're warm and harmless... then they go on to fall asleep cause you're there their own angelzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz