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Shadow Dancer
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Joined: 15-January 14
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Last Seen: 23rd September 2014 - 08:08 PM
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Shadow Dancer

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18 Apr 2014
It has been three months since we lost our Beloved Thunder. There isn't a day goes by I don't think of him and I miss him terribly. He suffered a cluster seizure that he had no chance of surviving and the trauma of seeing that happen to him will be with me always. But, life goes on I was told, and it has, although the pain of losing him has lessened, it is still with me...that is until yesterday when it all came flooding back in.

A friend of mine has been dealing with her dog having seizures. Up until three months ago none of the medications were really controlling his seizures. Earlier this week she said he had been seizure free for 82 days. We all were so happy for her and for her dog, finally his seizures were under control.

Sadly, yesterday her dog suffered another seizure and he died, he was 4 years old. She had no warning, never got to say goodbye. I was crushed and everything we went through that night with Thunder was right back front and center for me.

I am sad, and my heart hurts for my friend....
13 Feb 2014
Tonight is one month since we said goodbye to our Beloved Thunder. The pain of losing him is still gut wrenching. We just couldn't face picking up his ashes when they came back to the vet clinic, and put it off for two weeks, we brought him home on Monday and I put his collar around his urn, because Thunder didn't like not having his collar on.

I look at his picture and it's so hard to believe he's been gone a month. I take our other dog Storm out and I remember Thunder running and playing in the back yard and the tears start falling.

A friend of mine made a memorium for me, we are going to print it out and frame it and keep it by his urn.

I just miss him so much. sad.gif
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20 Jan 2014
One week ago today we said goodbye to our beloved Thunder. The pain of losing him is overwhelming. I can no longer see him when I think of him. I went through this when I was widowed 18 years ago, for ten years I could not picture my late husband when I thought of him. The subconscious mind blocks things that are traumatic and just too painful to deal with, I know that in time iimages of our beloved Thunder will slowly begin to return.

I hurt....
17 Jan 2014
We said goodbye to our beloved Thunder on Monday night. (Jan 13, 2014) He would have been 4 on March 20th. I am devastated and can't stop crying. Monday was like any other day, I took Thunder for his morning walk, he pranced along beside me, happy to be out walking. I could take him along the same route day after day and he always saw it as an adventure.

Monday afternoon we took both our dogs for another walk, again, Thunder was just happy to be out with us, prancing along beside me. He played in the back yard with our other dog Storm when we got home, they continues playing when we brought them in the house. He was perfectly fine and happy.

At 4:30pm he was laying on the bed with me while I was reading and he got up, turned and sat on the bed looking at me, then he curled up with his head on my husband's pillow. I felt him slump back against me and I put my hand on him to find him stiff and then he started to convulse. He was having a seizure. I called my husband and the both of us sat with him, ensuring he didn't fall off the bed and once the seizure was over, Thunder seemed fine. I called our vet and he advised me to give him a dose of phenobarbitol, (our other dog is on phenobarb for a seizure disorder) and keep an eye on him.

I gave him the medication and he went outside, came back in and had some water, ate some of his food, and then he had two more mild seizures. I called the vet back and he said to give it some more time for the medication to get in his system. Thunder had three more mild seizures and once again I was on the phone with the vet, he told me to give him another dose of the meds. Which we did, Thunder had some more water, ate a bit more food and within five minutes he went down on the kitchen floor and started seizuring again, only this time the seizures were non stop.

I called the vet and he advised us to bring him into the vet clinic. Meanwhile Thunder continued to have continuous seizures. We got him onto a blanket and we carried him out to the car and my husband headed to the vet clinic, an hour away from us. Thunder seized the whole way to the clinic.

When they got him into the clinic, the vet got an IV going with phenobarb in it, and took his temperature. His temperature was 109, because of the non stop seizure activity. A temperature that high in a dog causes organ failure. The vet and my husband started packing him with ice and hosing him down to try and bring his temperature down. An hour and a half the vet worked to save him, Thunder's heart was damaged, his lungs were damaged and the vet had to keep pushing on his chest telling him, 'come on, keep breathing Thunder' you could hear the fluid in his lungs.

Finally the vet told my husband Thunder wasn't going to make it, he was brain damaged, his heart was failing and even if he came out of this, he didn't know how Thunder would be. My husband and I had made the decision if it was really bad, then we needed to be kind to Thunder, and my husband told the vet to put him down.

My husband talked to Thunder, petting his head and he kissed him on the forehead, told him we loved him and it was okay to go to sleep. He said Thunder was looking at him and a single tear formed in his eye before he slipped away.

I am heartbroken, I just can't understand how it got so bad so fast, there was no warning, how can a dog be perfectly normal and a few short hours later be gone? I just can't understand. He had always been healthy, never had any health issues and to all of a sudden have a catastrophic event like this happen without even a hint that there was something wrong?

I just can't stop crying, and I can't get the image of him on my kitchen floor convulsing out of my head....I never wanted to see my beloved Thunder in that state...it was horrific. I am constantly reminded of Thunder, no matter where I go in our home, I listen to hear him jump off the bed and come down the hall to see me...I just hurt so bad...
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