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howzerdo
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Joined: 13-October 05
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Last Seen: 29th September 2006 - 05:30 PM
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howzerdo

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25 Sep 2006
I haven't visited here in quite a while, but I thought I would post this today, on the anniversary of his death. It is hard to believe it has been a year. I think of him every day, and still miss him. Every month, on the 25th, I think "now he has been gone six months" etc. I admit that it does get a lot easier to handle, with the passing of time, but this past couple of weeks have been hard because of his birthday, and his anniversary. It's kind of like I don't want his lifetime moving farther back in my life!

Here is a tribute with a lot of pictures that I wrote last year, based on some posts I made here at that time. I put the finishing touches on it and posted it last week, in honor of his birthday.

I remember Rudy

I think Rudy's death has hit me the hardest of any pet I've owned. It isn't that I didn't love my other sweethearts who have passed on as much, or don't love my other dog, my cat and the young dog I adopted since Rudy's death - I did and do - but his age (10), his illness from cancer, and the fact that he had no hangups - he was a very easy dog to have, and I was so proud of him - have intensified the grief over losing him.

Gina
3 Mar 2006
Sam
It has been a bit over 5 month since Rudy died, and recently, I have been having a "down" spell. So, I thought it might help to post a picture of my puppy Sam. I adopted him at the same shelter where Rudy was born.
Gina
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29 Dec 2005
Christmas Day was 3 months since my dear dog Rudy died from cancer at age 10. I guess it is getting easier to cope, although I am still very, very sad. I miss him so much every day, and every night. I do think of the happy times - he had a sunny disposition and there were so many - but I also have a hard time not dwelling on his final illness and death. It seems so unfair. It breaks my heart. I always thought he'd live to be at least 12-14 years old (although I know that even if he had I would have been devastated by his death). But I don't think he spent 3 hours much less 3 months of his life feeling sad, and perhaps I should take a lesson from that.

Anyway, for Christmas I got "Animals and the Afterlife" by Kim Sullivan (I think that is correct, I am going from memory). I am a few chapters into it. It is not the best book I've ever read, but it is interesting and it is clear she is a compassionate person. I am not sure yet whether it is helping me. I do plan to finish it and we'll see. I wanted to ask anyone on the list - do you have any recommended reading on this subject (grieving over pets and the their afterlife)? I have already read many books that deal with grieving over the death of people, and human afterlife (for instance Embraced by the Light, Life After Life, and Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' work).

Thanks - Gina
28 Nov 2005
We had out first snow on Thanksgiving. The following day, November 25, was the two months anniversary of Rudy's death. He loved snow, and was always so excited during and after a storm. Watching him roll in the snow brought me such joy. As I looked outside I imagined him running around, and rolling in the white stuff. How I wished he was still here to enjoy the first snowfall of the season!

I have been doing OK overall, I guess, though I miss him so. I am having a hard time getting past the idea that he was only 10. It doesn't seem fair. My other dogs have lived longer than that, and he always was the picture of health, shiny, happy and energetic; I always imagined he'd live to at least 12 or 13, if not older than that. Even after he got cancer, for a while he still seemed robust.

He has been gone nine weeks now. I have dreamed of him twice. Sometimes I still think it is some nightmare and I will wake up and it won't be true, but even in the dreams somehow I know he is gone.

Unrelated, this new website design is very nice.
Gina
19 Oct 2005
Rudy's stone came today. I knew that's what it was as soon as I saw the Federal Express ground truck drive up. Heard the porch door open and then slam shut. Peeked out of the curtain on the door and saw the box sitting there. Lifted the small box and felt how heavy it was. Cleared away the shipping peanuts and bubble wrap. But still, I wasn't prepared to see what it says. This weekend we will put it on his grave. I have a feeling I will never be completely prepared to go into that little clearing in the woods and see what it says. RUDY. September 17, 1995. September 25, 2005. So finite.
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