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BabySweets
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ohio
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BabySweets

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31 Dec 2012
Hello to all! I lost my Baby on Oct. 20, 2012. I wrote on here a few times and each time I cried a river again. I've talked to and listened to others stories. Since then, I've met a couple people who lost their older pets also. (not that age makes a difference) While in my chair in living room, I hold one of Baby's pillows, and I sleep with another pillow and also a "doggie" that's actually a heat/cold wrap, but I won't use it as such. The funny thing is, I found it in the hospital gift shop when I went for my last scan. It is adorable and reminds me of Baby.
I still think I hear her, I'm mourning and trying not to cry in front of my sons. My oldest keeps asking if I want another pet, and I keep telling him NO! I do mean it. He tries to kid around with me, like: "So, you want a goldfish"? Which is his way of making me laugh. In fact, one of my stocking stuffer gifts from them was a GOLDFISH that is actually soap, he looks like he is floating in water, it's very real looking. Naturally, we got a good laugh out of it.
I cry sometimes when I'm having breakfast, as Baby would come around to share with me. And I still "feel" her watching me from her spot, while I'm cooking. It seems I see more and more beautiful commercials, ads and you tube stuff that makes me either cry or smile, depending upon my mood!!! (with pets in them)

If you haven't seen it yet, go to Google and put in: Mama Dog with beautiful downs syndrome child. It will knock your socks off!!!!

I hope everyone is coping ok, we are not alone. I'm trying really hard to remember that we gave Baby a good home and loved her to peices. She was a faithful, loving companion to me and when I'm alone in the house, the silence just about kills me. I played Christmas music the whole month of Dec., day in and day out. I'm not always alone, my sons are here and have their schedules. But.....you get the picture ):

Blessings to all for 2013!!!
Maryann/Ohio
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Attached File  baby_bed_6.JPG ( 182K ) Number of downloads: 1
 
6 Nov 2012
Thank you everyone, Laura, Lynn and all of you for the kind comments...I appreciate it...sorry to read a few of you have just lost your babies around the same time I did. Last nite I stood by her and cried and touched everything. I sleep with one of her furry pillows clutched to me. I'm still waking up "lost". I KNOW there isn't a thing we can do to bring her back, it's such a silly thought. My sister, who lives about 200 miles away, keeps texting me and saying "You should get another to REPLACE" her. No, no, no, there is NO "replacing" Baby, I don't want to raise another pet at this point in my life. I might complain and cry but I will not go thru this again, 6 pets is enough. Baby was the one, and I'm sorry to say this, I loved my OTHERS, but for some reason, she was my "closest" bonding pet, I think. Out of the 16yrs she was with me, 10 of those we spent Inseparable, maybe that's why. I was working the first 6yrs. she was with us, so our schedules were different. I am looking for ways to get involved with SOMETHING to occupy my mind more. (not that I don't have enough to do, but you know what I mean) Since I survived the operation in Jan., I swore I was going to "live" more and "do". I suffer with chronic sciatic pain, and if it wasn't for that I would volunteer somewhere for something!!! I'm in pain as I type. Anyhow, I try to remember to be thankful and I pray and ask God to give me strength for MANY reasons., as I'm sure we all do. I hope everyone is doing ok and please feel free to write me. I look forward to it. Sooo glad I found you all!!! IT'S SUNNY IN OHIO TODAY AFTER DAYS OF DARKNESS!!!!!!!!! I guess I'm a dummy, I'm trying to insert an emoticon and can't figure it out!!! lol lol...........
3 Nov 2012
Hello Laura and all friends: hope every day it's getting easier. This is horrible. Tomorrow will be two weeks that my Baby went to sleep. I can't believe it. I'm ok and then I'm NOT. I cry at the drop of a hat. When I wake up, I sit there and look around like I'm in a daze, thinking Baby will be walking around the corner. Breakfast time is rough, I'm so used to sharing with her. Since I have no esophagus, I can eat/drink very little at a time. And I would always give Baby some of whatever I was trying to eat. And while cooking I keep looking behind me and "sensing" something. A friend did something nice for me and wanted to sit and talk and I was overwhelmed and started crying and said we'd have to do this later, because I started to cry. I've received a couple cards in the mail which was really thoughtful. I'm still holding one of Baby's pillows she used to push around on the floor to make a "bed" or to put her chin on. I look at her pics in my cell phone over and over. Pulling in the drive and not seeing her waiting for me is such an empty feeling. I kiss her fur or touch her resting place and talk to her. I don't care, no one hears me. I have 2 sons with me, and generally someone is here, depending on schedules. They are supportive of me and of course can't handle seeing me cry and try to get me to laugh. I hope you all are doing well where ever you are. My heart aches for the people dealing with Sandy..I can't even imagine. Be safe everyone, blessings to you all and all our furry friends.


Maryann aka BabySweets
Ohio/ where we only had power outage a few hrs., and loads of rain and wind/cold.
25 Oct 2012
Well, friends, today my son picked up Baby's ashes, the blanket we carried her to the vet's in and they imprinted one of her paws into plaster of paris and it has her name engraved on it also. (a surprise I didn't expect) Baby is "here" in a beautiful mahagony wood box with a brass nameplate on it. I thought I would fall to pieces when my son walked in, but I did pretty good, just a "lump" in my throat. So I have her ashes, the paw print and a death certificate, her leash, collar. BUT: I want her! I want to feed her from the table, I keep thinking she is watching me from her bed in the hall while I'm cooking in the kitchen. I keep turning my head. Even tho our pets don't "talk", it's funny the emptiness I feel when I'm here alone. I mean, hey, she didn't talk to me, why does it hurt so bad? I am having trouble throwing scraps away, I keep thinking, she is going to walk up to me and wait for something to snack on. I imagine we ALL feel like this. Today is #5, and I keep thinking what am I going to do without her? But "life" goes on, doesn't it? Although, I will say, I'm feeling a little "peace", knowing she is "here" with me. I've set up a little area where I can see her and her belongings. The velvet bag that the box iwas in, says "In loving memory". I have it draped behind her and all her belongings and also a beautiful picture of her. Gosh, I'm rambling on and on. But this is therapeutic and Im glad I found all of you. I hope you all are resting easy this evening. Blessings to you all.
24 Oct 2012
I've cried a river since yesterday and am physically sick at this point. I guess it gets better? Baby, our beautiful 16yr. old girl, mixed collie, had to be put down yesterday. She had pyometras, which is not treatable. Her story: She was found tied around a pole in front of an apt. building 15yrs. ago, flea-ridden, pitiful, half her teeth rotted. My oldest son, then 26, brought her home. We had, at that time a mixed breed mut, Mickey. I was LIVID, and told my son I WASN'T KEEPING THIS SECOND DOG AND HE HAD TO FIND HER A HOME!!!!!!!!! HMMMMMM.......You heard right (: I did not want her, and refused to even look at her. Well, my son, at that time was doing work that involved being on the road a bit. So my youngest son and I were the ones who were taking care of her until I finally took her to a vet to be checked out. Vet claimed she was approx. 1yr., and the lack of and bad teeth were from malnutrition, which made her tongue hang out!! Blood tests proved she wasnt sick with anything either. So I brought her back to the house and it was obvious no one was "finding a home for her" and I didn't want to take her to the pound. So this is my Baby story. And I'm so sad and sick and can't eat, can barely move. I didn't want her 15yrs. ago and now it's been only 2 days and I need her, I want to pet her, I want to feed her from the table, share my breakfast with her....I'm probably being dramatic, but I can't imagine life without her. She waited for me to survive a horrendous cancer operation in Jan. 2012, for an esophagectomy. She waited in the window and cried for my sons who were here with her. When I came home, she laid at my feet on my blanket. She always followed me from room to room as I did chores. When I left the house at any time, she laid in the window waiting. Oh, and no, I won't be getting another dog. I said once Baby was gone that I wouldn't raise another .

I'm holding her pillow, and a lock of her hair, with tears running down my face, and it kills me to walk thru the hall where she chose to lay.

Thanks for listening and pray every day gets easier for me and anyone else who has or will lose their beloved companion.




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Attached File  baby.JPG ( 292K ) Number of downloads: 1
 
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