Mister Kitty - The Love Of My Life

Hi all,
It has now been 2 months since Mister died so young. I have good days and I have bad days. Lately though I have hardly been able to sleep at all. I am still battling with what happened. I still cry a lot and deal with a lot of guilt. I read your trajic losses all the time and can't help but get sad for all of you. I do feel better reading because it shows how many of you out there have relationships with these animals that are similiar to mine. I am going to light a candle tonight, and think of all the good time that we had Mister. i love and miss you.

One weird thing- I did get 2 Maine Coons 5 weeks ago. They are great. It is amazing how much they remind me of Mister. In fact, I feel a little weird taling about it but the boy looks so much like him and act so much like him it freaks me out. In fact, Mister had a mark on his back that I always thought to myself that if i ever had to identify him I would be able to because of a white hair mark on his back in the middle of his black. Today when i went home for lunch, I was playing with "paco" and I noticed a white mark on his back. I almost lost it! I mean it is in exactly the same place. Sooooo weird. I know that he is not the same cat, buy there is a part of me that can't deny all of these similarities. Is that wrong or weird? I mean they look exactly alike and act even more like one another. I miss you so much Mister, but maybe a part of you is still here.

I Really Still Miss Mister

Hello,
I have not written in a while. I have read and responded to some people though. It is still very hard for me to come here.
I can barely even type tonight. I miss my boy Mister so much. I have 2 new kittens and there are times that I feel so bad because I am thinking of him. He died trajically at 3 years old (most of you know) on February 11th. I still dont know why and never will. Sometimes like tonight it hits me so hard I can't take it. I am not at all suicidal but I want to be with him. I know that it sounds so weird, but the pain has not gone anywhere. the only change is that it is not every minute. Now, it is constant and really hard a lot of the time. All it takes is a picture or a thought that is new.

He is buried in my back yard, and every day and night that I go and return I say hi to him. I am alone in my feelings. Maybe not my feelings, but how I deal with it. my girlfriend shows little emotion, and can't talk about it. It is very hard, because my way is to try to remember him, talk about him, and deal with it that way. That upsets her and makes her feel uncomfortable, so I am trying not to. So inevitably, I have breakdowns that are really bad even 1 month +. I mean really bad. One month after his death, I was thinking about it every minute, woke up at 7 am when he died, went out to his grave and cried my eyes out. I dont know how else to deal. This site is so nice because it lets me cry and say what I feel without judgement. I still remember that day like it was yesterday, and I don't know when it will get any better if ever. I think that I will carry this until I die. I think that my feelings will not change ever, and I will always miss him and have moments of extreme sadness. I guess this is a part of life that is necessary and real. I want to thank all of you for writing to me and making me feel not so alone. Thank you for this site, and thank you Mister for your love.

Thought That It Would Get Better

Hi everyone. I have not been here for a couple of days. I am having a hard time. The moment I think that I will be Ok, a rush of Misters face, meow, and his love overwelms me. I have still not gone a day without crying. How long is this gong to last? Imean, 2 weeks now and I still get huge rushes of depression, guilt and sadness. I am back to work, functioning, and using his death to help me be a better person. I know that it sounds weird, but he has taught me how to cherish things especially myself. But, I miss him so much. We have new kittens that are wonderful and I love them, but I can't get Mister out of my head every minute. I am sitting her crying about it yet again. I just wish that he was here. I can't get by dealing with the fact that he died so slowly and painfully aloone at the vet. They told me he was going to be OK, so I didn't insist on a 24 hour vet. I can't get the picture of him dying alone. I hope that he knows that I am so sorry.

By the way, a couple of you have been wondering about why he died. I met this wonderful vet that spent hours looking into the blood work and symptoms. The only things that could of happened are so rare and unlucky. With all of his symptoms he either 1. ate a mouse that was extremely poisoned 2. someone broke into our house and poisoned him, or 3. was bitten in the mouth by a black widow. Nothing else could have happened. I mean, how frustrating is that! Such a wonderful animal that means everything to me has this happen! Not fair. Thanks to all of you for listening.
Jason

The New Baby

Here is a picture of my brand new girl Maine Coon. The bot is exactly the same. they are so geat. Hopefully I am able to love them remotely close to how much I love Mister

Mister

I am having a difficult day. Sometimes it helps to write it out to you Mister.
I miss you so much. I have new kids in the house and I do love them, but what we had was special. I am still hurting so much over what happened. I just want to let you know that I love you and am sorry that you had such a short time on this earth.
I see things within the new kids that are so close to you. It reminds me of you, and I sometimes wonder if you are here. I have tried to write one for you but can't get through the lyrics without breaking down. I love you so much and am missing you.
Jason