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> My Cat Balki Harry Bartokomouser, I will always miss him.
TheSwordfish
post Jul 5 2014, 01:24 PM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 4
Joined: 5-July 14
From: Kentucky
Member No.: 8,351



Hi. My name is Ren. My cat Balki passed away this morning, suddenly. He was always such a healthy cat. I don't know what went wrong. I couldn't get him to the vet because I live in a small town. And, there was no vets open yesterday because of the Holiday.

I had Balki since 2008. He wondered in my house as a stray. We didn't even notice him for a few days because our other cat looked just like him. I took to him immediately. I named him Balki because he reminded me of Balki on the 80s sitcom Perfect Strangers. Because of how he just wondered into my life. His middle name came from one of my favorite actors as well.

Since I am a Childfree person by choice. Balki was just like my child. He was so sweet. He was never unhappy. He would lay on my lap and purr melodically. And, he used to let me carry him around over my shoulder. He had the cutest meow and the sweetest personality I've ever known of in a cat.

I am really hurt over this. I have been crying since he passed (around 9am EST)

Also. I was verbally attacked on a soap opera message board I frequent (even though we are allowed to talk off topic). This person said that I didn't do enough for him and that it was my fault that he died. That hurts so much. And, I really just need someone to talk to.

I have another cat. Her name is Conana. She's 10 and I honestly thought that she would go first. I am in utter shock. Someone please tell me what to do.

Here's the last pic I took of my sweet little boy.



RIP my little Balki Harry 2008-2014.
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moon_beam
post Jul 5 2014, 02:09 PM
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Hi, Ren, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Balki. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion suddenly intensifies the grief.

Ren, please let me try to reassure you that you did everything in your power to give your beloved Balki a happy, healthy earthly journey. It is NOT your fault vet offices were closed for the holiday yesterday, and the distance you are from the vets in your area. Sadly, there are some people who either do not understand, or do not care, how their comments can be very hurtful when we are suffering with the deepest sorrow we will know on this side of eternity. It is important that you surround yourself with people who will be supportive of you during this time of great sorrow and try to avoid as much as possible contact with others who cannot be supportive - - for whatever reason. Although clinical professionals recognize that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is the same as for a human family member or friend, our society in general, and sadly sometimes the people who are closest to us both emotionally and geographically, do not. This is one of the many reasons why this wonderful forum is here as a safe place where each of us can come to share what is in our hearts with those who truly do understand what we are going through.

As with human medicine, the only way you might be able to get definitive answers as to why your beloved Balki experienced a life-ending medical situation is to have your veterinary care provider perform a necropsy (the veterinary version of the human autopsy). However, also with human medicine, sometimes even doing this can raise more questions than provide answers, but only you can determine if this would be helpful for you.

As I mentioned, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in your own way and in your own time - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time including guilt / remorse which is one of the hardest of the grief emotions to reconcile because it comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the things that didn't quite make sense at the time they were happening, and trying to reconcile all the "whys" "what ifs" and "if onlys" that torture our hearts in our deepest grief.

Ren, it is important for you to know that your beloved Balki knows you love him and would have moved heaven and earth to protect him from all harm - - including the hidden medical illnesses that all too frequently threaten our companion's lives. Unfortunately none of us are omnipotent - - we do the best we can with the information and resources we have at any given time. Our beloved companions understand this, and I assure you that your beloved Balki does not want your heart burdened with guilt / remorse.

Instead, he wants you to focus on the blessing of his earthly journey with you, and know that he is forever grateful to have you for his Forever Mom. Love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Balki's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will - - for he is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Balki with us, Ren, and this wonderful picture of your handsome boy. It is obvious from the expression in his eyes that he knows he is forever loved. Please know you and your precious Conana are in my thoughts and prayers, Ren, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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TheSwordfish
post Jul 5 2014, 02:42 PM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 4
Joined: 5-July 14
From: Kentucky
Member No.: 8,351



Thank you so much. <3

I miss him. But, I think you're right. Balki always looked at me with such love. I think he knows I did the best I could for him.
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M.O.B
post Jul 5 2014, 03:41 PM
Post #4





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 16
Joined: 7-June 14
Member No.: 8,331



Hi,
I am so sorry that Balki has passed away. I recently lost my cat, Mozart and he was quite like in temperment with you Balki. To lose a loved one is hard but to lose your loved one so suddenly. I cant really say much as I am going through this grieving process but it sounds like you did all you could to aid Balki.please ignore that rude person. If you need to talk, my pm box thingy is open. Again, i am so sorry for your loss.sad.gif
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BabyHenry
post Jul 10 2014, 12:59 PM
Post #5





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 62
Joined: 4-June 14
Member No.: 8,329



Dear Swordfish - I had the same thing happen on June 1. My Henry cat (best frined and best cat ever) just started looking kind of funny and acting weak. By the time I got myy husband up to the bedroom to decide what to do, Henry died in our arms. I loved Henry so much and it hurts to be separated from him.

I feel the same as you -- I feel TERRIBLE that I did not see anything was wrong and that I went away the weekend before (and maybe missed something that would have caused me to take him to the vet that week.) I am absolutely heartbroken that I lost my best friend and the sweetest gentlest kitty ever; perhaps I coudl have had him with me longer if only I HAD DONE MORE. I can't stand to think about it.

Henry and Balki look at lot alike – orange and white with a white “ghost” on the forehead. I wish I could say something more comforting other than you are not alone. I am still really sad and have not really found any words that comfort me. One thing --- I did decide to make a conscious choice not to be angry at myself for not doing/noticing enough, otherwise I would go crazy. I know that Henry loved me and would not want me to torture myself (he would always try to comfort me if I was upset). It's painful enough that he is gone. I'm sure the same thing can be said about you and Balki - it sounds like you would have done your best for him no matter what and were defeated by circumsatnces that you could not control.
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