I Just Need Someone To Listen....

Chica, my precious little girl went to rainbow bridge yesterday morning. She was only 1 1/2, still just a baby. Chica was a pretty little Chihuahua who was always so happy and ready to give kisses. I loved her with all my heart. Why was she taken from me so soon?

Chica was in great health until she went to the vet for her annual visit 10/31/08. She received her first set of adult vaccinations and that is where the nightmare began. Immediately after receiving the shots, she began to very violently vomit. That was quickly followed by diarrhea. The vet explained that this was probably the only reaction she would have so they would just clean her up and once we got her home if there were anymore problems, we could just give her some Benadryl. They gave her back to me and while they started the exam on my other Chihuahua, Chica began to have trouble breathing. They took her and gave her an injection. Her breathing came back to normal and she seems fine as soon as the shot was given. We took them home and Chica had diarrhea again that evening, but seemed fine the next day.

Over the next two weeks Chica had a few problems. She vomited a couple of times. Had diarrhea once, but since it was just a day here and a day there, we didn't think anything of it.

On Saturday 11/15/08 she vomited a couple of times. Sunday a few more times. By Monday she was refusing food and water and still vomiting. I took her to the vet where they treated her for gastritis and sent us home. The next day she was still really bad so I called the vet again. I took her back. They gave her different meds and sent us home again. This time she got better. She would not eat the food the vet gave us, so we were feeding her boiled chicken and rice or potatoes. She was back to her old self for a week and then the nightmare started again. We went back to the vet. They ran another test to make sure it was pancreatitis. Test came back positive. They gave us more med's and sent us home. Two days later Chica was no better and had lost a couple of pounds (a lot for a dog that only weighted 8 1/2 lbs to begin with) so back to the vet. By now you know the routine, this was Friday 12/05/08.

Saturday morning Chica was crying and seemed to be having trouble breathing, we rushed her to the vet. They took xrays and said that it seem that maybe she was constipated, so they cleaned her out, which seemed to help for a while. At this point my vet seemed worried. She told us that if Chica wasn't better and eating by the following day, we needed to take her to Medvet (Doggie ER) The following morning 12/7/08 we got up very early and took her to Medvet.

The doctor there told us that in addition to pancreatitis she had Intussussception (a problem with her intestines) and she would need surgery to fix the problem. As I cried, my husband began to question the doctor in regards to the procedure and the risks involved. During the questioning the doctor finally agreed that Chica was so small (only 6lbs now, her healthy weight was 8 1/2, she was a larger than normal Chi, both parents were almost 9 lbs but not fat) that odds were low that she would make it through the surgery and if she did the 2 weeks following would be very rough for her. Also they thought that her pancreas needed to be biopsied while they had her open, because they feared it was damaged more than just from pancreatitis. Why did this information have to be dragged out of her?

We decided that putting her through all this with the odds of her surviving being so low was cruel, so we made the terrible decision to have her euthanized.

I have cried for 2 days straight now, I just can't seem to stop. I didn't want her to suffer anymore. She had that look in her eyes, you know what I mean? That terrible pained look. This is the second time in a year and a half that I've had to make this decision. In May 2007 while my husband and I were on vacation. My Abby ruptured a disc in her back. It happened the night before we came home. When we got home she was paralyzed and in such pain. I agreed to the surgery to repair her back. The doctor made it sound like it was the thing to do. That she had a good chance of recovering, but she did not. She lived another week in severe pain, never really even alert enough to know I was there I don't think. Her spinal cord started dying and her body started shutting down, so we had to put her to sleep. I still can't tell that story without crying and now this.

I didn't want to prolong Chica's pain and have her suffer unnecessary like Abby did. I hope we made the right decision. I am so heartbroken and devastated. Why does this keep happening to my family?

I know that I've been rambling on for a while now, thank you for listening.

Helen