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mynutmeg
post Jan 1 2011, 11:31 AM
Post #1





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 62
Joined: 25-September 09
Member No.: 6,146



Hi all, it has been quite a while since I have been on here, My kitty passed away September of 2009...so little over a year now. I recently found myself looking around for another kitty and felt ready to open up my heart again. I shopped around several shelters for a few weeks until I found just the right one and ended up adopting a beautiful long haired girl from a SPCA, I have had her home now for 2 days and she seems to be adjusting very well, only 1 problem- Mama is not adjusting very well!!- I am not sure what is going on with me but the maternal instincts are not kicking in at all and I am finding great guilt feelings about taking on this kitty. I travel quite a bit and am terribly worried about my impending trips.
Please help, is this normal ? I felt as if my pet-free year was plenty of time for me to cope with the loss of my other child. Or maybe I am afraid to get so deeply attached as I did with my other cat that I had for 19 years!!

what's wrong with me ????


--------------------
In memory of my "Nutmeg" 01/1991-09/23/2009
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moon_beam
post Jan 2 2011, 10:55 AM
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Hi, MyNutmeg, there is nothing "wrong" with you, my friend. I think this falls in line with "new mom" shock. The "oh my gosh, what have I done" syndrome mixed in with "how am I going to properly take care of this new life when . . . " In other words, a panic attack.

This is an adjustment time for you and your precious new baby girl to get settled into new routines. This is a "new life" for the both of you. So, take a deep breath, hold it, now release it slowly. Again, take a deep breath, hold it, now release it slowly. Better?????

Now, are these trips a new thing for you over this past year, or did you take frequent trips during your precious Nutmeg's earthly life with you? If the latter is the case, how did you provide for Nutmeg? If the former question is the case, let's look at options: One, are these trips that your baby girl can travel with you? If not, then - - are there family members or reliable friends who can take care of her in your absence? Are there "pet sitting" services who can come in and feed her, spend quality time with her, etc.?

If you were not bonding with her, you would not be concerned about your baby girl's welfare. So, there's no question that you are bonding with her, and your "maternal instincts" are just fine - rusty perhaps, but just fine. Also, since your baby girl is settling in so well this is another indication that she feels safe and secure with you, which is another indication that she senses your love for her, and another verification that your maternal instincts are just fine.

So, relax, take another deep breath, hold it, -- now release it slowly. Remember - - bonding with our beloved companions is a lifetime journey - - and right now you and your new companion are in the "getting to know you" phase. It's going to take awhile for the "comfort zone" to establish itself.

MyNutmeg, I hope this helps you, offers you reassurance. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how things are going for you and your new precious companion whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam



--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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mynutmeg
post Jan 2 2011, 07:45 PM
Post #3





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 62
Joined: 25-September 09
Member No.: 6,146



Thanks so much Moon Beam!! It was like Kitty Kounseling- your words!
Yes, shock described it best...I thought I was 100% ready to adopt and I did want another kitty but then once I got her the reality of it set it and I honestly thought to myself what did I just do...? Now I am going to have someone to take care of, litter box issues again,, constant worry when I am out of town...I selfishly wanted to give her back for a fleeting moment. Sometimes I feel as if I gave so much in the 19 years with Nutmeg that I am not sure I can give like that again, I mean there are some people that have pets then there are those special few that have fur children and devote their entire being to that fur child- it's a commitment that many have no idea the length, cost and love that needs to be shared.

I am growing to love her, she is so wonderful...it will take time but I think the bond will be there soon.

I had a store during the last 5 years of Nutmeg's time here so even though I didn't travel as much, less time was spent (with her) as I was operating the business. I have since moved and work out of my home but the traveling has picked up 10 fold incl. a fair amount of overnight trips and at least 5-6 week long trips are planned for business so I am unable to take her along but plan to hire a pet sitting service if no friends are available to care for her, it's just hard for me to think about her alone...my other kitty had separation anxiety pretty bad and was skiddish so she didn't do so well when I traveled.

Thank you again for your kind words, I feel much better!


--------------------
In memory of my "Nutmeg" 01/1991-09/23/2009
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moon_beam
post Jan 3 2011, 05:23 PM
Post #4


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Hi, MyNutmeg, I am soo o o glad I was able to help you. The love bond you have with Nutmeg -- yes, have, for love is eternal - - is unique, and so will the love bond you have with your new baby girl be unique. There is no doubt in my mind that you will love your new baby girl with all your heart - - not the same as Nutmeg, and it isn't supposed to be the same as Nutmeg.

I have every confidence that you and your new baby girl will settle into your new life together very nicely. Have you selected a name for her yet? Do you have any pictures you'd like to share yet? Has she had her first vet check up yet? If so, how did that go?

MyNutmeg, I am so o o happy for you and your new baby girl. Wish I could send you pink booties to celebrate your new fur child. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how things are going.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam



--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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mynutmeg
post Jan 4 2011, 03:19 PM
Post #5





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 62
Joined: 25-September 09
Member No.: 6,146



Yes, Moon_beam...she, well let me first give props to the SPCA that I adopted her from because they had her up to date on all shots, spayed her the day I drove her home and also microchipped her! I took her to my local Vet yesterday because she has had upper respiratory issues, so that gave her a shot of antibiotic that is supposed to last 2 weeks, she also got her rabies shot and check up, she did very well and was actually asleep on the table before we left, I can honestly say I have never had a cat fall asleep at the Vet much less do much else aside from freak out! She did very well to say the least.

it's kinda funny that she has similar coloring to Nutmeg how ever, totally different looks and personalities. She was my second choice too, I had my eye on a male orange tabby but he got adopted as I was driving to the shelter, so this one now named Fluffernutter caught my eye! Things happen for a reason, right ?!

Is there anyway to attach a picture or does it need to be via URL ?


--------------------
In memory of my "Nutmeg" 01/1991-09/23/2009
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moon_beam
post Jan 4 2011, 04:32 PM
Post #6


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From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861



Hi, MynNutmeg, sounds like your little Fluffernutter is a real sweetheart for sure. I'm so glad she did so well at the vet, and hope her upper respiratory issues are resolved with the shot she got. Sounds like she's been through a lot with her surgery and such, and must be looking forward to just settling into her new life routine with you.

In the "Site Administration" section there are directions about uploading pictures into the posts. I found it helpful when I uploaded pictures of my Oslo and Abbygayle in their forum topics. I'm not a "techno" whiz, so if you have any problems I know you can contact the administrator who will help you as quickly as possible. I think you need to open your personal "My Controls" to upload your pictures first and then post them into your forum topic.

MyNutmeg, thank you so much for sharing your precious Fluffernutter with us. I can hardly wait to see a picture of her, and to sharing with you how things are going for you both. Please know you and your little girl are in my thoughts and prayers, and hope you have a wonderful, peaceful evening together.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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mynutmeg
post Jan 4 2011, 05:51 PM
Post #7





Group: Pet Lovers
Posts: 62
Joined: 25-September 09
Member No.: 6,146





I uploaded her pic into my website so hopefully something shows!


--------------------
In memory of my "Nutmeg" 01/1991-09/23/2009
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moon_beam
post Jan 5 2011, 08:40 PM
Post #8


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From: Virginia
Member No.: 4,861



Hi, MyNutmeg, what an absolute CUTIE!! Your precious Fluffernutter is so PRECIOUS!! Thank you so o o much for sharing her with us. Of course your heart fell in love with her!! May you have a long, healthy, happy life together.

I will look forward to sharing your stories of your life together as you would like to share them, MyNutmeg. Please give your little girl a kiss and hug from me, and Fluffernutter - - you are so o o o o lucky to have MyNutmeg for your mom.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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